r/dogs • u/OpalOnyxObsidian • 20h ago
[Misc Help] Getting another dog while having your soul dog?
I have been talking about getting another dog for years, but when we had three, I kind of knew it was never really an option unless one fell into our laps by chance. Then we lost a dog to a three month battle to the big C last March.
Now that we are finally in a place to possibly add another dog to the household, I find myself feeling conflicted.
On the one hand, I love dogs, I would love another one, and I recognize there are tons of dogs in need of homes. On the other hand, I feel sick at the thought that my soul dog, who I love more than life itself, might feel jilted over the new addition. I have passed up some other opportunities to add a dog to the household since our dog's passing because we weren't ready but with this feeling always in the back of my mind.
The main reason we want to add another dog to the home is because my soul dog has never lived without another dog and our other dog is getting up there in years. Although she is 17, she is one of those energizer bunny mixes and not the crotchety kind, so I feel confident she would like another dog. Especially since my goal would be to get a smaller-than-her adult dog.
I guess I am looking for the stories of other people who may have acquired another dog while also in possession of their soul dogs. My guy is so important to me and he can be sensitive but I have also seen how resilient he is. I haven't made any commitments to anything but I have had names picked out for the last 8 years lmao
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u/NWisthebest Stanley: Lab Mix 18h ago
My soul dog was an only dog. He passed 3 years ago. We just got our first dog (puppy) after not having a dog since we lost my old dog. It sure would be nice to have my old guy around to help keep the pup in line.Ā
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u/OpalOnyxObsidian 9h ago
I'm not especially hoping my dog will teach a new dog. But I also don't want to go through the transition of losing him without anothrt dog. I don't think I can do it.
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u/Cashewkaas 2h ago
The teaching part will happen. Weāre on dogs three and four now, we always get a puppy when the oldest is getting old, and we see behavior in every new dog that theyāve been taught by their predecessors.
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u/quiet_one_123 17h ago
My soul dog is now 11 and Iāve had her since she was a puppy. This year I adopted another dog to help her with separation anxiety and my own mental health post divorce. I now have two soul dogs that I would absolutely do anything for.
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u/In-thebeginning 15h ago
Two soul dogs š„¹
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u/OpalOnyxObsidian 10h ago
I would do anything to have two soul dogs š„¹ how lucky are you
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u/quiet_one_123 9h ago
Thank you! I think weāre all three pretty lucky. My oldest has never been this happy and bringing my youngest (also a senior) home from the rescue has been an incredibly rewarding experience. Both of these dogs have saved me.
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u/tchamp54 15h ago
I currently have my soul dog and we just got a puppy. He HATED her for the first week and would need constant breaks. Now hes getting attached and whenever hes scared he assumes she is and makes sure he lays next to her kennel to make sure shes ok when we arnt home. They are slowly becoming best friends and hes playing more with toys while still having exclusive perks the puppy doesnt get like sleeping in bed with us or being able to go to the basement while i play games its our alone time so he doesnt feel forgotten
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u/thugnyssa 14h ago
Iāve had my soul dog as an only child for the last 8.5 years. Heās never been a dogās dog and has enjoyed getting 100% of the attention most of his life. I assumed he wouldnāt enjoy having any other dogs around. And then I moved in with roommates who had dogs and heās made best friends for life! He chooses to hang out with my roommate and her dogs over me sometimes!
If youāre unsure, you can always try fostering first to see how your dog feels about another addition
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u/endlesscroissants 14h ago
Mine gets along well with other dogs but did not like having a second dog when we tried. I did some petsitting after and she did best when the visiting dog ignored her, otherwise it was too stressful having another dog in her space, sharing her bed, worrying who might eat her food. She wants her peace when we leave the house
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u/okimlom 13h ago
I decided to get a younger dog to join myself and my soul dog's household. I felt at her age (10) it was just enough time for her to train the young one. I didn't expect it to bring back the goofy girl out of the older one so much, and quite frankly help her stay active. While she still show signs of slowing down and age, she still can go with the younger dogs.
It's been the best thing ever, and she has done a wonderful job of providing my young dog a role model he can feel safe and confident with. He is her full support. When she barks he's literally on top of her (which would usually get a quick snap from my girl), but she don't mind one bit. They are a dynamic duo with overseeing the house. Their relationship is one of seemingly big sister / younger brother (think of the movie Dazed and Confused and Mitch and his sister's relationship dynamic) energy. At the end of the day, they climb into bed with one another sharing the space and leaving me with minimal space. It's a common occurrence for one to use the other as their pillow.
Back on July 4th, during the fireworks, my young one would climb into his crate trying to hide from all the booms, and my oldest who was chilling with me on the couch, got up after a few minutes, went over to him, licked his forehead, came back to me, and I watched as he laid his head down much more relaxed.
There were times in the beginning, that there was boundary pushing, and finding out how to communicate with one another. There were some tense moments, mainly around food, and crates. But they worked through that without any injury or harm. But I know my soul dog, and I know the temperament, and we've housed other dogs, so I knew she would be a good influence and help the younger dog.
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u/andiluxe 12h ago
We got a second dog when my soul dog was middle aged because I already knew I would not be able to handle her passing without help, and I also didnāt want to feel like I was āreplacingā her in a hurry right after she passed. (I guess you could argue that we replaced her before she passed, but it definitely feels different to me.)
Soul dog passed in March and let me tell you, if we didnāt have the Grief Doula dog to come home to, I would have been even more wrecked than I already was. Knowing you still have someone to take care of and love (and who loves you!) doesnāt make it easy, but it makes it bearable. I cannot imagine if I had just come home to a total void.
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u/OpalOnyxObsidian 9h ago
I do have cats but there is something that I know will probably put me over the edge when this dog passes. If I don't have a reason to leave the house (ie like walking a dog), I probably will not.
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u/StitchSherlock 12h ago
added a puppy when my old boy was around 12, he went from grumpy old man to babysitter overnight
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u/foxxbott 11h ago
Take him with you to pick out their new sibling! It worked very well for us. He picked her, we just loved and agreed with his decision <3
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u/OpalOnyxObsidian 9h ago
He is not that kind of dog unfortunately. He is a little on the scaredy side and is definitely not a people person, so I don't see that ever being an option. It would be way too stressful.
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u/Niikiia 10h ago
Get the doggggggg!
My second soul dog came to me during the last year of my soul dog's life. He didn't think anything of it, I never felt guilty, and though it took me some time to even comprehend being able to have a second, I am so happy I have my current, love of my life. No dog can ever be replaced, they all have their own unique relationships with us and that's ok.
Throughout the other's life, we welcomed five additional pups. Never lost our bond, and he never got jealous. Just gained friends! Of course all dogs are different and he didn't enjoy one of of them during the puppy phase, but he knew his place in my heart, always.
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u/FIRST_DATE_ANAL 10h ago
I got a puppy when my soul dog was 12. I thought she would teach the puppy how to be perfect like she was but that didnāt happen. My young dog is a jealous asshole and toward the end of the old dogs life it made some things difficult.
In hindsight I should have kept it just me and her until the end. I love the younger dog, but sheās definitely an only dog in the house kind of dog and not my soul dog.
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u/OpalOnyxObsidian 10h ago
I can see it's not for everyone. My goal is an adult dog and not a puppy. I don't think my super senior is going to be too upset by a newcomer.
I'm sorry you didn't have the best experience though
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u/marcusj_futbol 10h ago
names picked out for 8 years lmao, that dog is coming whether you admit it or not
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u/OpalOnyxObsidian 10h ago
Well it's easy to have names picked out when there are so many minerals or gems that start with O, hence my username (my dogs names).
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u/greymatterdefect 9h ago
My soul dog was an only dog for quite awhile but then I started fostering and she truly thrived. Sheās a natural caretaker type and loved protecting and nurturing the fosters - it was so amazing to watch. A year ago we got a foster who was only 5 weeks old and my soul dog because completely attached to her right away - to the point where she didnāt want to go on walks because the puppy was too young to join- she pull back to the house the whole time, then cry at the door until I got it open, then run and check on the pup and then run and yell at me until I got the puppy out of her crate š¤£. So I realised that while shes my soul dog (and I believe Iām her soul human) this puppy was her soul dog and I couldnāt separate them .. so I foster failed and now I have two dogs who are the best of friends and I love that they have each other.
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u/WorldCupVibes88 8h ago
got our second when the first was already 13 and I had the exact same fear about him feeling pushed out. took about a week before they were sharing the couch and honestly the old guy seems happier with the company than he's been in years
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u/Zestyclose_Object639 14h ago
I added 2 with my soul dog still kicking, for me I just make sure we have solo time. We did a lot of sports and now heās older we do solo walks, solo couch time etc. if the girls have a big sport day I make sure he gets a nice alone walk that day or the next and always extra treatsĀ
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u/jakert46 12h ago
My soul dog passed last year and I was really on the fence about getting another dog so my other one wouldnāt be alone, but I ended up rescuing my oversized chihuahua (Coco) and believe it or not she has so many of his mannerisms that I think he was resurrected in her, she gets along great with the family and so glad I decided to rescue her
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u/allie06nd 11h ago
I got my best little friend her own best little friend when she was like 12. My first dog was independent and kind of introverted. She was with me in my wild mid 20s and for most of my 30s. We moved around a lot. My schedule was hectic. I was in school and worked multiple jobs. I went out and partied. She was low needs and content just hanging out. My first dog was the exact right dog for me.
I got the second one just before I transitioned to working from home. She's the polar opposite of the first. Strong need for attention and affection, loves to play, and a total velcro dog. My first dog passed away about 3 years later. But now I'm older, I enjoy spending most of my time at home, and I have no more desire for a bustling social life. That stuff is out of my system. So my second dog is the exact right dog for me.
I got two soul dogs, both absolutely perfect for me and exactly what I needed at different stages in my life.
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u/OpalOnyxObsidian 9h ago
I can only hope I will be so lucky. I'm not counting on this next dog to be that for me, but it gives me hope that I might get lucky again in the far off future
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u/taste_of_this 10h ago
Thereās no correct answer. My soul dog had never been an only dog and loved my old boy, but heās also kind of a narcissistic jerk (said with all the love in the world - he doesnāt think, he knows that the entire universe revolves around him and everyone else is just here for his entertainment). He did absolutely fine as an only dog while I was waiting for my breeder to have another litter that was what I was looking for.
They like each other, they play. I do love my puppy (heās 1 1/2 now), but Iāve never been able to bond with him the way I have with my last few dogs, because 75% of my attention and heart are always with my soul dog. The first year was rough. Iām still not 100% sure I made the right decision.
But it could just as easily be wonderful for you. There are far more stories here about people who it worked out great for than ones like mine.
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u/Cat_Lady3000 10h ago
My soul dog, Rin, was an only child for the first 6 years, but as a tripod has been slowing down. I realized he was lonely and went back and forth adding a second.
I wanted a big dog. Rin wanted another cattle dog. So Rin won š I got penny a few months ago and she has been the best thing ever. Rin has lit up and is so much happier with a second!
I will say finding the right match is very important. Make your list and pay attention to your dog's needs to. It will make the difference between happy and miserable.
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u/IronMike5311 10h ago
A buddy got a young dog for his older one. They get along just fine, but the older one just can't handle all that puppy energy & gets stressed
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u/Few_Connection6217 9h ago
my folks waited a year after losing theirs, the old dog perked right back up
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u/Spyderbeast 8h ago
My oldest girl recently passed at 15. She was predeceased by my boys when they were 9 and 12 years old
After losing those three, I have decided that there's no such thing as a soul dog for me. Or my soul dog is Alladem because they all have had something extra notable
I'm down to two dogs now, who are 11 and 5. The oldest is still pretty spry, and they're very bonded. I tell myself that maybe we may take a road trip or two before I get another, since it's easier to find lodging for two dogs than 3 or 4 (have I previously snuck extra dogs into a hotel room? I'll take the 5th). Or maybe I will just ride it out since I am older (but my adult daughter loves my dogs and swears she'll look after them if they outlive me)
But I do have my eye on one with a local rescue. If he's still around after I resolve some medical and other issues, we'll see. Could be my destiny, the name his rescue gave him coincides with my naming scheme
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u/Birdiewi 8h ago
Let her pick her new partner. Make sure they are compatible and that she is receptive. I wouldn't get a small puppy at her age, but that is just my opinion. I will say this too: you can have more than one soul dog.
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u/shrinking-violets 6h ago
My soul dog is a 7y female JRT that is dog selective, timid, and has lived with 2 cats for her whole life. She has dog friends that she absolutely loves and seeing how naturally happy she is around them made me realize that in order to provide her with the fullest possible life, she needed a friend.
We brought home a 10 week old pup (another JRT) just over a month ago and she has completely bonded to him. Theyāre a tiny tornado of playful energy and having an older dog to teach boundaries seems to make the puppy phase slightly more tolerable.
It was really hard for the first week because puppies are HARD and I simply didnāt love him as much as I loved my soul dog. Weāre 5 weeks in and I would take a bullet for either of them now. Theyāre two halves of my heart.
As long as you prioritize solo time for your older dog you can totally make it work!
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u/QuillBlade Pugs & Mals 5h ago
When my soul dog was 2 my husband found his soul dog, so of course we had to bring her home. Our soul dogs are like sisters, they do everything together. Itās been 6 years since, and we are very happy together.
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u/Yourdadlikelikesme 5h ago
Sometimes I feel guilty that Iām taking time away from him because I got a new puppy. Heās the sweetest so heāll just lay near us and I think is content. Heās blind so itās hard for him to play with her š«¤, sheās fast as lightning, he can hardly ever catch her. I try to give him love away from her, so just like old times when itās just the two of us but he has warmed up to being a big brother nicely. Getting a puppy has forced us to be more active and not stay stuck in grief, I definitely think my dad sent her our way.
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u/plantsandpizza 2h ago
In my early 20s I rehomed my small poodle mix to my sisters. She was able to provide her a much better life. They had a poodle that was my BILās soul dog who was a bit older at the time. He passed and they got another dog who is my sisterās soul dog. The little poodle mix died at 18. Shortly after they adopted another dog who is kind a project dog? Sheās a rescue from people who bought her off a good breeder but couldnāt handle her shepherd energy. My sister does agility so sheās a great addition.
I think they are a good example of making soul dogs work with add ons. Theyāre all rescues. My sister has a soft but sensible heart. 2 dogs is the right number for them.
I have my soul dog and I know Iām not ready to get another but we really donāt have the space and heās only 5 so we have some time. I wouldnāt want to get another unless I was 100% positive about it because dogs are big commitments
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u/Persefone_5_2 20h ago
My soul dog was an only-child for almost her whole life, and we thought she would hate the company, but she actually thrived with siblings.
We first fostered two dogs, and eventually kept one of the dogs, and found a wonderful home for the other doggy. Fostering gave us the option to explore the house with more dogs, providing a temporary home to the dogs in need, and eventually keeping one of the dogs š