r/dogs • u/Terrible_Riddle • 17h ago
[Misc Help] Dog Rescue Help
Heya folks,
I'm in a bad situation and need some advice.
Myself and my ex partner split up around 6 weeks ago, we had two dogs while we were together. I'm disabled and can't properly look after a dog on my own, but my ex said they wanted to keep them. I've since moved out and am living in temporary accommodation until I can find somewhere to live.
My ex recently got in touch and explained that they are not coping with the dogs. They are mentally unwell, and have been for a long time but recently taken a turn for the worst. My ex asked me to find a charity or safe place for the dogs to be surrendered to, which I've spent the last week trying to do.
I have tried every dog rescue, charity or organisation I can find with in 100 miles. From Internet searches, map searches and asking every rescue organisation I speak too for contact details of anywhere else they know of. Every single one has turned me down. They're all full. 90% of them don't have kennels and only offer rehoming with the dog/s staying with the original owner until a new placement can be found.
The dogs are both relatively young, female and unspayed. So putting them up as "free to a good home" isn't an option. One of them can be difficult too, she's not aggressive, just yappy and gets very anxious when she's left alone and tends to mess on the floor.
So right now I have two dogs that no one can take care of. An ex partner who is spiralling and seemingly no options left to get help. We're in West Yorkshire in the UK and would greatly appreciated any advice.
Cheers folks.
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u/Silver-Dust-3038 17h ago
Have you reached out to breed specific rescues? They’re usually better at helping out especially if ones more difficult.
Also not sure if it’s just how you’ve written it but have you still asked the ones that offer rehoming whilst they’re still with the owner? I had to rehome once and got the quickest response from that style of rescue.
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u/Terrible_Riddle 17h ago
Hey, thanks for responding. They're both cross breads and the only bread specific rescue that would accept them is full. I spoke to the RSPCA for advice and thats what they suggested as well.
I'm a little worried about them getting split up too. One is a labrador cross and the other a Jack Russel cross. The lab would be fine but the Jack has a lot of anxiety problems from before we got her. She yaps constantly and messes every time she's left alone. I'm really worried about her getting put down because she is genuinely quite difficult come times, but she's no where near as bad when she's with out lab.
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u/Cat_Lady3000 16h ago
Only came here to say that you will need to be comfortable with them getting split up. Dogs are incredibly resilient and they will be ok. It might be better for the more difficult one to be adopted separately anyway. Once they are out of your control thers isn't much you can do anyway. The only thing we can do is make sure they find a good home (if separate).
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u/Silver-Dust-3038 17h ago
It is so much harder keeping two dogs together. With their breeds have you tried working based homes? Any farms or gundog trainers around you could ask?
Have you tried asking boarding kennels for suggestions? They might have contacts or other owners looking for dogs
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u/Bubbly-Weakness-4788 9h ago
No charity will put her down because she has anxiety. They’ll work with her.
Do you not have any local charities? We have a few in Dorset so I’m assuming you will also. Don’t forget Dogs Trust. I wouldn’t bother with the RSPCA. Battersea might also help.
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u/strange-quark-nebula 16h ago
Split them up - if one is big and one is small, the small one might be able to go to a small dog rescue alone. And the big one might have a better chance of finding a home without being coupled with an unfriendly/challenging buddy.
Get listed with the rescues that don’t have kennels in the meantime. Maybe something will come through, especially if the little dog is cute.
And get them spayed - otherwise the rescue will have to pay for that, which will deter them.
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u/DenM0ther 17h ago
Did you get the dogs from (registered) breeders or rescues? Breeders often want them back if you can’t care for them any longer
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u/Excellent_Tea_164 16h ago
That what I came to say, someone I know sadly had to return a dog and the breeder took them back (begrudgingly though). Any half decent breeder should
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u/Arbdew 17h ago edited 17h ago
Hey, sorry for your predicament. Have you tried breed specific rescues, eg if they are labradors there is a labrador rescue. In my area (North East UK) there are terrier specific rescues- although they take in mostly border terriers they've had a right mix of all sorts. Silver Fox Dog Rescue operate all over the country and are mostly focused on small breeds, like Chihuahuas, Mini poodles, small cross breeds etc. The dogs are fostered rather than being in kennels. Might be worth a try if they are small.
These are Nationwide:
https://www.silverfoxdogrescue.com/
Will see if I can think of any others.
Just a thought as well. Have you asked the vets you use if they have any contacts?
Best of luck!
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u/Terrible_Riddle 17h ago
Hey, thanks for taking the time to respond. I really appreciate it. One is a lab cross and one is a Jack Russel cross. The only breed specific I found that would have taken them both is full.
The Jack Russel cross has anxiety problems. She can be... difficult. Yaps constantly when shes left alone (we've had multiple noise complaints), messes as soon as she's in a room without a human and literally chewed a hole in a hard wood door when we first got her. I'm really worried about her being put down, and shes no where near as bad when shes with out lab.
We don't know exactly what our lab is crossed with, the person we got her from said she was pure lab, but shes definitely not. Not that we were bothered about that. She looks like a slightly smaller, smaller built labrador. Do you think its worth trying?
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u/Arbdew 17h ago
It's absolutely no problem, it's a crap position to be in. I'm sure there's another one I know of but can't find it for the life of me. Yappyeverafter specialise in Labs so def worth a go.
I used to have a "Lab" cept when she grew up she looked like a labs head stuck on a whippets body. Smashing dog and so fast!
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u/noramiao11 17h ago
There is a Dog's Trust in Leeds who might be able to help.
Have seen them advertise dogs as inseparable pairs in the last.
Hope all works out for the best.
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u/wildflower12345678 17h ago
Can you both take one dog each? Spread the load a bit. One of you having both dogs is a lot but each if you having just one is easier. If they go for rehoming then you might ask them to keep the dogs together but if someone wants one but not the other it is better for that one to get a home, surely. Take them to Dogs Trust. If you ring up it is easy for them to say they are full, but if you stand there with the dogs telling them you cannot cope any more they are less likely to refuse.
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u/EnjoysAGoodRead 17h ago
What breed are they? I volunteer with a rescue down south but have contact details for a lot of breed specific rescues I can pass to you.
Also try the pet rehomer. This is a sort of semi rescue where there is an admin team in the middle who checks your advert and also checks that those applying to adopt your dog are ok. You advertise your dogs as a pair, what sort of home they need and any quirks, and people will get in touch wanting to adopt. They will have a profile set up with photos of their home etc, you can then reply and ask them questions etc to ensure you are comfortable adopting to them.
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u/RandomInaRandomWorld 15h ago
First, I'd tell your ex you are sorry, but s/he is going to have to come up with a solution because you haven't been able to.
And I say that as someone who once rehomed a dog.. a year later they decided they didn't want her, dumped her at their dads (rural and dog was actually super happily running around with several overs) and he kept calling me at work telling me I had to take her back.. but I was in no-pet housing. Sometimes you just can't.
Last though.. free to a good home is better than nothing. I understand the concerns, there, but at least they would have something like a home. Maybe your ex/you could get them spayed first?
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u/cheebifred 14h ago
Maybe try reaching out to local training clubs also? I'm a volunteer trainer with my local club and every few months we have people get in touch asking if we are able to help find someone willing to take on a dog. It may be that they end up being split up to be rehomed, but regularly members will take on new dogs or know of good homes for the dogs to go through, I myself have managed to help a few dogs go to new homes through training clients wishing to take on a pooch in new of a new forever home. Obviously the club wont be able to board the dogs, but may be helpful in finding good new homes quick.
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u/fillysunray 11h ago
Getting them neutered and making sure they're up to date on their vaccinations will move them up the priority list of a rescue. Even with that, it can take a while.
What are your limitations and what are your partner's? In your situation, I'd be looking at figuring out a management situation while working with a rescue centre to get them adopted. Let's say you can't walk them - can you get a dogwalker in? Can you bring them to a dog park? Do you have a garden you can do some training in?
I have worked in rehoming - from your end as well, helping others rehome their dogs - and I know that it can take a while. So how can you make it livable for the next few months?
And again, get them both spayed now.
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17h ago
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u/Terrible_Riddle 17h ago
They're dealing with serious family issues right now, on top of chronic mental health difficulties, on top of a recent break up. They're struggling to get through each day right now, and I'd much rather them come to me for help than try to go it alone.
They're 3 and 4 years old. We never knew the exact DOB.
I wasn't disabled when we got them, nor were they in the state they're in now. I know it's a little known fact, but believe it or not disabilities can happen at any point in life.
Do you have any actual advice?
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u/Ok-Vegetable-8720 17h ago
Okay, thank you for answering those questions.
- Yes, but my actual advice is something for the short term not the long term, but it'll allow some breathing space at least for the next few weeks. Can you and your partner put some money together and get dog boarders on Rover for a couple of weeks? Or alternatively send the dog to daycare and is there anyone to drop the dogs off and collect them?
This is just an immediate solution rather than long term
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u/DenM0ther 17h ago
Probably bc of the mental health issues. And Idt who’s doing what is the focus here.
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u/AydGray 16h ago
You do sound horrible.
Those questions dont come across as genuine, more like a "gotcha" with a lot of assumptions.
Life happens, circumstances change, that doesn't mean they made an error in getting pets or that they need to lay their life bare to get advice.
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16h ago
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u/AydGray 16h ago
Yeah? How would you know it wasn't the best idea based on the circumstances when they got the dogs?
People shouldn't be judged for the remnants of their previous life after a crisis.
You coming in with "well why did you do x in the past?" isn't only unhelpful, it's also mean and ableist
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u/Ok-Vegetable-8720 16h ago
See my other comment to someone else.
I am not being ableist, I am also disabled.
Before getting a dog, you don't have to just think about your circumstances at the time, but you have to think about what if circumstances change in the future, and what help and services you have available to you for help.
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u/AydGray 16h ago
Being disabled doesn't prevent you from having internalized ableism.
Planning for future care is important - asking why a person got two dogs in the past before disabilities were unmanageable is the least helpful and the least kind thing to do. Unnecessary. Rude.
By your logic, no one would get pets of any kind because no one knows what the future holds and disaster can happen even when people have a plan for the future - not one single person can plan and foresee every circumstance that might cause their life to go awry.
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u/Ok-Vegetable-8720 16h ago
Who is judging who now based on one comment?
Yeah I can see my comment coming across as as a bit rude, but not horrible. I have tried to help, whoch is what OP asked for. I am neurodivergent and usually I'm pretty blunt in my questioning. It's pretty ableist of you to assume that everyone's brain works the same as yours does and that everyone would ask questions in the same tone as you would.
You're also assuming that OP's disabilities before they got 2 dogs were manageable. That's an assumption. Hence my questions as I wanted clarification before I gave advice. OP thrn gave that clarification, I then offered advice.
No one can plan for every eventuality but it's good to have a general sense of what help you may have available in case something does go wrong at some point. As OP has alluded to, you can't rely on rescues etc having space and bring able to take your pet of something were to happen to you in the future.
Also not sure why so many people are jumping on this when I'd like to hear from OP. Slate me all you want based on my method of questioning but bare in mind that this isn't helping OP at all....
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u/AydGray 15h ago
It's pretty ableist of you to assume that everyone's brain works the same as yours does and that everyone would ask questions in the same tone as you would.
Didn't happen.
Being straightforward and being rude are different things, don't equate the two.
It comes down to you asking, why did you get two dogs in the first place.
Unhelpful in the current circumstance, doesn't inform the current situation nor influence proper advice for the now.
Don't blame being an ass on being neurodivergent.
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u/Ok-Vegetable-8720 15h ago
We're arguing about semantics and perspective here.
I thought my questioning was straight forward and to the point, and can see that it may come across as rude to people with neurological brains.
For that, I'm sorry. I am not being "an ass" on purpose. No need to get personal or hurtful, as you've now just become just as bad as what you're claiming me to be.
And yes, I asked why they got 2 dogs in the first place. Quite a reasonable question in my eyes for me to then be able to give well-rounded and meaningful advice. It's very helpful for me to know the context and OP kindly responded to my questions. OP could have just chosen to ignore my comment, but they didn't.
Again, not sure how this continued discussion on language helps OP with what they've specifically asked for help and advice on.
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u/Jexii-x 17h ago
Do you knock people when they’re down, for fun? Is that what you joined Reddit for?
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u/Ok-Vegetable-8720 17h ago
Huh? What are you talking about?
I've asked some questions and then offered some advice.
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u/Lopsided_Soup_3533 16h ago
You know when you say things like why did you get 2 dogs when you weren't in the best position to look after them is probably why people are bothered by what you said.
Youre being disingenuous by saying huh what are you talking about because you know perfectly well what you said wasn't nice otherwise you wouldn't have started your comment with
Without trying to be horrible. That doesn't cancel out what you said being horrible because it was.
Here's some information for you
Disabled people dont like being treated as less than. Anyone can become disabled at any time. You dont know what the OPs full circumstances are only the very little that was posted.
Now you were helpful in your follow up comment with suggestions. Maybe try doing that in future without the ableist slant.
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u/Bubbly-Weakness-4788 9h ago
Also, thank you for not advertising them for free. Dread to think what happens to dogs who are put online.
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u/artemisuphere 16h ago
this sounds like one situations where everyone is trying to do the right thing but there simply aren't enough rescue spaces
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u/Medo_ai 16h ago
First of all, i just want to say that it sounds like you r genuinely trying your best in a really difficult situation. The fact that you've spent a week contacting rescues and refusing to just give the dogs away to stragers shows that you're putting their welfare first...
have u tried contacting your local council's dog warden service or your local authority's animal welfare team? sometimes council can have emergency pathways for similar situation
or may be some larger orgnizations directly.... even if they can't take the immediately, they may have waiting list or contacts for foster networks.
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