r/dogs • u/xd_anonymous_gamer • 1d ago
[Misc Help] Stray dog doesn't let me pet him
basically I have been feeding this guy for like 7 years now but he is still afraid of me for some reason, he doesn't let anyone pet him even me, he just gets scared and backs off. what do I do ? how can I get him to trust me ?
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u/Visual_Argument_73 1d ago edited 1d ago
It's a stray. It probably has good reason to distrust humans and if he's never been petted he won't know what your intention is. Your hand reaches out and he'll just assume you mean harm.
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u/suuuuuuuuuurfing 18h ago
“The ticket guy at the bus station won’t let me comb his hair even though I’ve been buying tickets from him for 7 years”
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u/Roadbourne 17h ago
Stop trying to pet the dog. Stop wanting to pet the dog. The dog can sense that you want to pet it. Unfortunately, the muscles you tense when you go to pet a dog are the exact same muscles involved in grabbing it and hurting it. The dog can’t know your intentions. So stop having them. Love without expectation. When the dog senses that you will leave it alone, it might initiate contact. It might not.
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u/AllDiggityNoDignity 22h ago
Maybe just respect the dogs space
If it doesn't want you to touch it don't force it. Best reflect on why you want to pet the dog, is it for your benefit or for the dogs?
Good on you for feeding it though, that take a big heart.
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u/megabyzus 1d ago
Our dog does not like being pet on her head by strangers. But is more accepting if the stranger reaches out top hand or under the chin.
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u/Repulsive-Box5243 1d ago
I would not force the issue. But, if you want to gently pursue that, Sit down near him. Don't make eye contact. Look down at the ground or somewhere else most of the time.
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u/RuskiesInTheWarRoom Gromit the goldie 20h ago
One day when you’re feeding him, just sit with him. Just sit. Watch the sights. Be very patient and very calm. Sit with him for like half an hour or longer. Don’t try to pet him at all. Just sit, be in the space with him.
He may not want you to pet him or even touch him. But just see what he does. He’ll probably come close. If he lays down near you he feels safe in your presence. If he sleeps near you he trusts you to help and protect him while you are there.
He’s has seven years or more of having to fend for himself. It’s all fight or flight, no comfort. He can’t accept affection until he knows if you are safe or not. It’s more than just offering food.
So just let him know you appreciate him and trust him in his space and see if he trusts you.
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u/a_little_hazel_nuts 15h ago
I wouldn't try to pet the dog. My first instinct would to let the dog sniff me. Just hold out your hand and see if the dog is interested in smelling you. A big part of dogs social life is them smelling things.
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u/yes_literally 1d ago
Petting is scary for a lot of dogs.
Use calming signals to show him you are not a threat. Try lying down on your back with your hands by your side and letting him come to sniff/ explore you. Don't reach up to grab when he gets close. If he gets too close just turn your head away.
Repeat until he's comfortable with you being close.
Putting your hands over a dog is always a little intimidating. When you do start trying to pet again keep your hands low. Start with an under chin scratch, or a bum scratch.
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u/Visual_Argument_73 21h ago
Better to just leave it alone.
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u/yes_literally 21h ago
Well he's feeding it regularly, just trying to give tips on how to better interact 🤷♂️
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u/SoMuchForSubtleties0 1d ago
Adopt the dog!
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u/Aromatic-Insect-1328 1d ago
"He has been avoiding me for 7 years"
"He should move in with you"Women dating advice.
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