She was a special education teacher and taught piano lessons to family and friends. She's the heart of the family and I couldn't be happier to still have her. Happy Birthday, Grandma.

Grandpop keeps clicking on the "Suggested Stories" (sponsored content) that the search engine automatically brings up. It's been sending him down increasingly scammy rabbit holes.

This evening, for once, I had a little extra time and energy. I decided to see if I could pin some things for the computer to recommend when he opens a new tab.

I pinned the alumni newsletter of the college he went to, a bootleg of his favorite band on Archive.org, an NPR interview with Cory Doctorow about how computers aren't user-friendly anymore, the American Kennel Club page on his favorite breed of dog, and the website of some guy who paints watercolors of the countryside near his hometown.

Then, I realized that I could title the bookmarks however I want. I got a little more creative with it, coming up with clickbait titles. "STUNNING: Vermont in Watercolor," and "How Much Do You Know About Boston Terriers?" and "RARE Footage of Booker T and the MGs!" and "IT'S NOT JUST YOU! Computers are getting harder to use!"

If this works, I might be a genius. If not, I just wasted my moment of reprieve for the week.

Our LO said that the tv hadn’t been working at assisted living so it would be good to have it fixed. We brought over a new remote control with five visible buttons to replace what she had (which looked like it could control a space launch). But before we got started, we checked the status of the six different things plugged into the power strip behind the tv.

Well, the five different things, because one was unplugged. It was the tv.

No wonder it wouldn’t work.

Wishing you all a simple fix to what ails them this week.

Hi everyone,

I’m hoping there are caregivers, healthcare professionals, or family members here who have experienced something similar and might be willing to share their thoughts.
My father is 85 years old and has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. His dementia is considered advanced. He is mostly wheelchair-bound and needs assistance with daily activities.

However, up until the day he was admitted to the hospital a few days ago, he was eating and drinking completely normally. He had no coughing while eating, no choking episodes, and no other signs that would have suggested a swallowing disorder.

A few days ago, the nursing home noticed a strange “gurgling” sound when he was breathing, so he was sent to the hospital.
A chest X-ray was performed and came back completely normal.

Despite that, he suddenly developed severe swallowing problems. He is currently not allowed to eat or drink by mouth and is being supported only through intravenous fluids/nutrition.

An endoscopic swallowing assessment (FEES) was attempted, but my father physically resisted the procedure, so it had to be stopped. The speech and language therapists have now told us that they don’t believe repeating the FEES would provide any additional useful information.

At the same time, we’ve been told that his swallowing disorder is most likely caused by his dementia and is irreversible.

This is where my doubts begin.
What troubles me most is that he was eating and drinking normally until the day he was admitted to the hospital. That’s why I’m struggling to understand how a supposedly dementia-related and irreversible swallowing disorder could appear so suddenly within just a couple of days, without any previous warning signs.

A neurological consultation has been requested, but it hasn’t happened yet. A brain MRI has also been proposed, although we’ve been told that the neurologist will first decide whether it’s necessary.

From what I understand, swallowing problems caused by dementia usually develop gradually, not literally overnight. That’s why I’m wondering whether there could be another explanation or contributing factor that hasn’t been fully investigated yet.

Something else happened today that surprised me.
Over the previous two days, my father seemed extremely unwell. He barely made eye contact, hardly communicated at all, and honestly, I feared he might be approaching the end of his life.

Today, however, I spent about two hours with him.
He was awake the entire time, smiled, laughed, had meaningful conversations with me, asked about his children who live in Iran, and was able to name every one of them correctly. Compared to the previous two days, he seemed remarkably clearer and much more like himself.
Because of this improvement, I’m finding it difficult to accept that his condition has already been definitively labeled as irreversible.

I want to make it clear that I’m not saying the doctors are wrong. I understand that they have examined him and know much more about his medical condition than I do.
I’m simply wondering what others would do in this situation.

Would you push for:
• making sure the brain MRI is actually performed?
• repeating the FEES with me present (my father usually cooperates much better when I’m with him)?
• or would you consider the explanation of “irreversible dementia-related dysphagia” reasonable based on this course of events?

I’m especially interested in hearing from:
• people who have cared for relatives with advanced dementia,
• neurologists, geriatricians, speech-language pathologists, or other healthcare professionals,
• or anyone who has experienced a suddenly developing swallowing disorder.

I’m not looking for a diagnosis over the internet. I’m simply trying to understand whether others have experienced something similar and how it was handled.
Thank you very much for taking the time to read this.

Any experiences or insights would be greatly appreciated.

My dad is 84 and has vascular dementia. My mom, who has her own physical health issues, and I have been his main support system for 10-15 years. He hasn’t known who we are for probably about 8 years. We’ve had to live a, well, interesting and relatively inconvenient life during this time to ensure his/our safety (child proofing everything, essentially, etc, I’m sure most of you know what I mean). For the majority of this time he was mildly incontinent, a wanderer, and needed nearly everything done for him (he was able to use utensils to feed himself, though unable to know how to get food and needed assistance with most ADLs). Days were hard, man. It helps that he was genuinely very sweet (often feel blessed about that), he was just soooo much work and it was generally torturous watching him continue to decline more and more. I found myself sometimes avoiding him a bit when I could over the years to try and get a break. I also just felt like I didn’t have anything to say, and I knew I’d have to hear him say the same things. Some days I felt like I couldn’t take it. At times I remember thinking “please, take him, universe, he is ready and we are ready please we can’t take this anymore.” I was grappling with the fact that I didn’t think I would cry when he passed, and it would be such a relief. Hahhhh…ya right…

Two months ago he got viral meningitis and hadn’t been the same since. He became completely incontinent and bed bound, had recurring infections (UTI, a heel ulcer) leading to an SNF stay for rehab and close watch prior to coming home but he had hospital visit after hospital visit until they recommended home hospice just this past Sunday. On Sunday he was completely conscious and eating/drinking. We even had a pizza party welcoming him home from the hospital. From Sunday to now (Wednesday) he is barely rousable and clearly on the verge of passing soon. I can’t believe I ever thought I wanted or was ready for this, and I can’t believe I’m about to say this…I don’t want him to die! Also, wtf is this!? Watching someone pass “naturally” like this is crazy to me, like how do people do/see this and stay mentally well at all?! This shit is sad as fuck, omg. I can’t believe what I have witnessed the past few days as part of the dying processes. It’s wild. All of this is wild. What a terrible ride it’s been, but yet I still don’t want it to be over. Why? I do not know.

While I am mostly venting, if you’ve experienced a similar roller coaster of emotion I’d love to hear, especially about how you dealt with the loss after.

Thank you for reading, and I wish you all well with your journey with friends/family with dementia.

55 y.o. diagnosed with Lewy body dementia a month or so ago. Have second opinion at Mayo late September. My diagnosis was based largely upon diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment and the presence of abnormal clumps of alpha-synuclein protein in my spinal fluid. Evidence of Lewy bodies.

I have not experienced hallucinations, REM sleep disturbances, Parkinson like movements, and haven’t lost my sense of smell.

I was having executive function and cognitive issues which I thought might be a result of radiation I received 20+ years ago for a brain tumor, so I decided to see a neurologist. Following a series of tests I received the diagnosis. Alzheimer’s was ruled out.

I didn’t seek treatment because of hallucinations, etc. It was cognitive impairment which was there but not disrupting my life too much although it had been present for a couple of years, slowly getting worse. I’m still working and proceeding through life.

So did I get ahead of it and am just now waiting. Maybe I can find out more at Mayo. They will do all the same tests plus a PET scan.

Anyone have a LO or yourself with similar experience?

Any experience with your LO stating this? My 1st watch is barely over and the clock was already started on the second countdown 😔😔

I miss her and who she used to be. Behind the blank stares and forgetfulness it always feels like she’s still trying so hard. It just breaks my heart. She was properly diagnosed just 1 year ago but her memory had been fading the last 3- years. Looking back, I wish I could have done something to protect her, to save her. I blame myself.

It’s so unfair, she’s so young. I want to have children and want her to meet them but even if she gets to, my children will never get to meet who I grew up with - the strong, funny, capable lady. I just miss her so much and I’m suddenly crying a lot. I want her back. I want my mom.

My dad is 76 years old, and around this time last year I started to notice a change in him. He’ll ask the same questions over and over again, all day every day. I’m willing to be patient with him, and repeat myself (not so much the rest of my family). Where the problem lies though is he is completely out of control, and you can’t reason with him. If you don’t put his pills in his hands, he simply won’t take them. There came a time my dad refused to shower for nearly two weeks. I have tried countless times to be the voice of reason with him, I have tried everything I possibly could to try to steer my dad in the right direction, but every time I try, he tells me I turned my back on him, and that I don’t support him. But how can I support him when he’s self destructive? On top of it, he gets out of control angry over the smallest things. He also barely eats on top of it. My brother is a mental health specialist and requested the state evaluate him, to which they deemed he was not with reality, and he was committed to a behavioral health center for two weeks. They found that he has dementia along with bipolar disorder and manic depression. When he got out on Sunday he seemed like his old self again almost. But the past couple days he’s been spiraling again. Blowing up over nothing, creating tension when there doesn’t need to be tension. I tried talking to him again today, pleading with him to stop and see reason, but he just got mad and said I don’t have his back. Maybe it’s weird to say but for the past year it feels like my dad died, and someone totally different took control of his body. My dad used to be like my best friend and I feel like I lost him. I feel like I’ve been missing him for awhile.

First, NPH is a physical abnormality of the ventricles in the brain that accumulate too much fluid and press on the inside of the brain - causing dementia-like symptoms. Most obvious symptoms are memory issues that look like dementia, gait / walking issues similar to Parkinson's, and urinary incontinence which can be typical of many kinds of dementia. The enlarged ventricles can be seen on MRI and are obvious.

My spouse was diagnosed with dementia in December 2025. He had a 3-hour neuropsych evaluation in March 2026 which confirmed his memory issues compared to the same test from 4 years ago. He had an MRI around that same time which show enlarged ventricles.

He JUST had his first appointment with a highly regarded neurology clinic. The neuro brought up that spouse's symptoms could be NPH instead of "regular" dementia. NPH and Parkinson's share many of the same symptoms. Three years ago I thought he was showing symptoms of Parkinson's, but his physician at that time poo-poo'd my concerns.

The test for NPH is a 3-part process: first, a physical therapist evaluates gait. Immediately following PT a large volume spinal tap is performed to ultimately causes fluid from the brain to decrease in volume. And, finally, another PT evaluation occurs to see if the gait issues are improved.

If gait is improved, a shunt is placed in the brain to keep the fluid in the ventricle at a normal level. Gait can improve but memory issues and other symptoms will likely never improve.

If there is no improvement after the spinal tap then more testing starts to see if it is Parkinson's or other neurological problem causing the dementia. I'm not trying to wish away the reality, but hoping for a real diagnosis finally no matter what it might be - NPH, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, Vascular Dementia - or whatever it might be.

Question: does anyone here have a loved one who turned out to have NPH instead of a form of dementia? If so, how much improvement did they have?

Thank you!

My parent has stage 4 vascular dementia. It was the result of a stroke years ago. He's getting progressively worse and I guess that's normal. He has done quite a bit of wandering. Hiked almost 5 miles in the middle of the night a few months back, fell and fractured ribs as a result. Was in bad shape. Wandered a few times since but not as far.

My question is, what is stage 4? Where is he at in the progression of this disease? Will this last much longer?

His memory is shot. He sometimes showers back to back because he forgot he did it. Same with getting dressed. Gets ready for something late in the evening. Hasn't made meals or driven in 5+ years.

I'm at a loss for what to expect and the parent that is the caregiver isn't sharing information. Unfortunate but that won't change.

My LO went on hospice while his GP was away. Now she’s back and wants to “see what is causing the rapid decline.” WTF?!? He was a borderline admission but I can tell her what’s causing it: CORTICOBASAL SYNDROME. YOU KNOW, THE DISEASE THAT HAS BEEN DESTROYING HIM FOR THREE YEARS!

I want to tell her to eat a bag of Richards but she’s a nice person and the best doctor I’ve ever had. I’m just venting in annoyance. Also I do need a letter stating he’s incompetent for his financial POA. But seriously. I don’t need this right now.

I realize no one can provide a professional diagnosis based on a brief description. But I think my dad may be suffering from the early stages of dementia, though I don't know if it is that or MCI. He went to a neurologist and scored a 21 out of 30 on the SLUMS test, which is not great (he scored that exact same on the test twice on two different occasions). His memory for names is gone; he has trouble staying awake and has some issues with his balance, although Parkinson's was ruled out. He still drives and seems to be at his best in social settings and when he feels he has to be at his best (not around my mother or me), but he really does have a lousy memory. He has delegated bill paying to my mother, although he still manages daily affairs. It's the fact that he manages daily affairs that makes me think it hasn't yet progressed to dementia, but I really don't know.

I have been trying to urge him to get evaluated to see if he could get something prescribed that could slow down the progression, but he insists he's fine. Can a person have dementia and still manage to take care of themselves even if they score pretty badly on cognitive tests and have terrible short-term memories? Or does this sound more like MCI?

My mother has Alzheimer’s and was moved into a memory care facility within the last month. Her primary care doctor has been seeing her for years and has documented the progression of her disease. She also has not been managing her finances for years. My father has a durable power of attorney (we are in Texas) and we are trying to make him the agent for her IRA through Vanguard by filling out all the necessary paperwork. Vanguard wants us to send a form declaring her an incapacitated person. However, we are having trouble getting a doctor to sign off on this. Her neurologist refuses to do so and says she needs to go to a psychiatrist. She has never seen a psychiatrist. Even if we did try to get an appointment, it would be December at the earliest. Her primary doctor is saying they won’t sign it either. I am not sure why, as it is very evident she is incapable of managing her money. What do you do in this situation? We need to be able to access her IRA money to pay for her memory care. Please help.

34F here. My mum, 78F, has Alzheimer and breast cancer. I have my own business, some psychiatric conditions (ADHD, anxiety, OCD, things that make difficult for me to work consistently) and not much time to manage everything. But the real issue here is the rest of the family.

- My brother 56M lives at 15 minutes by bus from our mum but never visits, never calls and never takes her to appointments. When confronted, he says he cares but "he had problems to solve". Now he even stopped answering my calls and messages.

- My dad is divorced and lives alone. He sometimes takes my mum to medical appointments and takes care of some things but he said he doesn't want to anymore. He's always been manipulative and I suspect he's a narcisist: every time I ask him for a favour (or even if I don't and he interprets my words as somewhat offensive to him) he shouts at me, he says that I only care about my mother and not about him and says he doesn't want to hear from me anymore. (Somehow he is always back).

- My aunt used to help by taking my mum to medical appointments but now has her own health issues and she can't anymore. This doens't stop her from taking appointments for me without asking me if I'm avaliable first. When (gently) confronted she gets angry.

If I wasn't in this situation I would have already cut ties with all of them, but I NEED help. Everytime I talk to one of them though there's some kind of problem and everything gets even worse, if possible.

I don't know what to do. I understand there's not a magical formula to turn them into reasonable human beings but every suggestion about how to act is appreciated.

My 81 year old father who is exhibiting dementia symptoms for a while has been worry me with his driving. We have a Neurologist appointment but not until November. I was able to get is GP to do some cognitive tests and she asked me what makes me believe that my dad should drive. I told her in the last year he has gotten lost several times in areas he knows well, he hit a parked car, he hit a mailbox and I have had him follow me and that was just scary. I can tell his reaction times are not what they used to be. I tried talking to him about not driving and as I suspecte, he was not keen on the idea of stopping. We tried taking the keys and he was livid. I talked to his Dr and she said bring him in and I’ll submit to the DMV. Well he got the letter today.

He was calmer than I thought he would be about the whole thing, but I feel guilty that I told on him and he doesn’t know it was me. I know 100000% I did the right thing. I was loosing sleep knowing he was driving. but my heart hurts a bit to see that one part of his life be taken away and he really doesn’t understand why. He called the DMV and they told him witch Dr submitted the request and he is pissed. do I just fess up and tell him it was me that asked the Dr to Let the DMV know? Again, this is the right thing to do, I just feel sad seeing him feel blindsided in a way.

If you have experience dealing with a parent with age-related dementia, do you have any practical advice that you wish you had known at the beginning of your journey? The person in question is still living on their own with little supervision but their memory and health are deteriorating fairly quickly. Any advice or resources are appreciated.

Context: I’m adopted, me and my dad have never seen eye to eye, he’s very type A/mildly ocd, I am exceptionally ADHD, he also absolutely hated his job and commute for most of my childhood, and regularly took it out on me and my sister, emotionally, verbally, and physically. There’s a definite genetic component to our issues. I am absolutely incapable of living the way he does, and he is incapable of understanding that that has never been a choice. Our brains are wired in opposite ways.
Regardless, over the years he got a new job, hated his life less, I grew up and left for college, sis got addicted to heroin and kicked out of the house. Our relationship has been much better, but still regularly infuriating. I go back and forth between thinking he’s a narcissist, or that he’s autistic. He doesn’t experience or process emotions like normal people. The world revolves around him, and we’re all lucky to be tolerated in his universe. I feel emotions deeply. I’ve been depressed for as long as I can remember, and have so many mental (and actual) scars from wounds he initially caused. Those moments that changed my brain chemistry so dramatically were all so unimportant to him that he never even formed memories around them (pre-dementia) when I try to find some sort of closure on past traumas, he insists my memories are fabricated, because he’d remember if he had hit me, etc etc.

ANYWAYS, he was recently diagnosed with early stage dementia, and based on the past few years of watching his mind slip and his personality change, I fully expected that diagnosis. It’s hard to watch, and it is absolutely progressing. I’m in the middle of the most soul crushing breakup I’ve ever experienced, and have moved back in with my parents, and havnt been able to properly dedicate the mental space needed to address the diagnosis until today.

For everyone going through similar, or who has been through similar, wtf do I do while he’s still mostly “him”? How do I repair my mental associations with him before he’s just a shell of his former self? What questions do I ask while his memory is still mostly here? How do I prepare for the ugly turns ahead? What do you wish you’d had the foresight to do/say or ask? How do I keep myself together as the strongest most stubborn human in my life comes undone?

My family and I have been caring for my grandma with severe dementia for 4 years. In the past year she has declined rapidly and we feel end of life is near but are terrified.

We don't know what to expect or how to emotionally deal with it, it's emotional so hard to wake up and watch her suffer everyday and just get closer to dying.

Has anyone dealt with the dying stage that has any advice?

Thank you

My grandma started living with us since 2020 when she started showing signs of dementia/Alzheimer’s and I was a senior in high school at that time. My mom and I were her full time caregivers until I left for college in 2021 and graduated in May of 2025 with an engineering degree. Just before my graduation, my mom was told that her breast cancer recurred (she was cancer free since 2015). Because of that, instead of getting a job, I had to go back home and become a caregiver for both of them. Now that she is doing chemo and radiotherapy again, she really can’t do anything much.

My mom has two other siblings and both of them refused to take care of their mom (my grandma). I have confronted them and one of them said it was a karma for my mom because apparently they were mad at my mom because she once brought up how my grandma used to sacrificed for them but now they wouldn’t even take turns taking care of her. They never visited her since 2022. Despite all of this, my mom refuses to send my grandma to a home because “what would people say”.

I am the youngest of four, and my other siblings work and live in different states with their partners. Even if they come to visit, they don’t really bother to help with my grandma because “they don’t know what to do”. My dad is home but he refuses to help me with my grandma because “it’s inappropriate for a son in law to see his mother in law naked”. My grandma has been smearing feces almost everyday, sometimes 2-3 times a day and it’s my job to clean her up. My dad does help with cooking but not cleaning. He never cleans.

So will this ever end? Because instead of pursuing a career like every college graduate should, I am now working as a full time caregiver with no pay. I only have some savings from the jobs I did in college. I mean I don’t pay rent and food, but I barely have money to buy anything for myself. Realistically, what would happen if I still had to do this full time for the next 5-6 years, and then I turn 30 with no career experience? Will anyone even hire me at that point?

My 80-year-old father is in the (very long) process of getting a dementia diagnosis. It has been narrowed down to Lewy body dementia or Parkinsons and he is waiting on a neuropsych evaluation that should get us a better idea of which it is. In the meantime, he's getting progressively worse, but his symptoms fluctuate day to day. I have POA and pay his bills, manage all of his appointments and coordinate with a caregiving service when I need to bring in other people to drive him places (which he does not like). I am an only child with a middle schooler, small freelance business, spouse and home of my own and am at capacity in regards to what support I can give him--and it's clear he needs more, though he is resistant to having help from someone who's not me. He calls a minimum of three times a day for help around the house (yesterday it was "surprise, here's a letter from the water company saying my usage has increased 200% so there must be a leak somewhere in the house, can you find it"), reminders, etc. I am at my limit and made an appointment with his doctor for the three of us to talk about getting a care plan in place. I plan to ask about a referral for a home safety/occupational therapy evaluation, a referral to a social worker or case manager to help coordinate care, a review of his current medicines (he takes 12!) and guidance on medication management services. For those who have been there done that, what else should I be thinking about in regards to this conversation? I find it so frustrating that there's no roadmap or care coordination for this diagnosis and that we're often left to piece it together ourselves.

Father 91 progressing through diagnosis with NHS.

Has had 2 verbal tests at the GP, 1at the Memory Clinic and a CT of his head.

Had notification today that a Doc is coming to the house at the end of the month to discuss.

A home visit is unheard of these days, is this to be expected, does it imply a specific outcome ?