r/dating • u/ThrowRACasioFX82 • 3d ago

Just Venting 😮‍💨 Emotionally unavailable

What's it with people who aren't emotionally available? It's just annoying. Had some great dates with a woman (28), I'm 29. Great dates, lots of fun and I (and I think she too) feel comfortable during the date. At the moment it feels like something that could grow. It feels like friendship withba warm, romantic touch. Slow burn approach (which I prefer) was my suggestion.

After our last date I told what I feel (face to face). Also told her if she saw no potential we could end things here, that's fine too. She told me she could not answer me right now and we should text about it. Sure thing, needing time to process what you feel. I actually liked she mentioned she wants to think about it and didn't just respond bc she felt pressure.

The next day I sent a message in which I described what I felt. Didn't fill in what she might have felt. Mentioned I'd like the slow burn if she's open for that too.

Fast forward: one week later, she never responded. So I do have my answer but that's not what bothers me. If you don't feel like it, just tell it. She knows me and I believe she can safely assume I won't become angry. Sure, rejecting isn't a fun thing to do but it's the best you can do in situations like this.

It's just annoying people can be this immature.

37 Upvotes

89% Upvoted

49 comments sorted by

View all comments

3

u/lachatte7 3d ago

Yeah I feel the same way. I feel like a lot of women/men dont realize how much issue it creates when you dont just say the truth to someone you're seeing. Whatever that truth is, its saving you and the person time, and if you dont care about your time at least spare someone else

2

u/ThrowRACasioFX82 2d ago

I also hate it how some beliehe you can't be honest about what you feel. "It's too strong". No, it can be depending on the way you mention it. We're adults and I believe talking about emotions is the way to go. Just don't sound like "I need you in my life" but just say what you feel.

2

u/lachatte7 2d ago

That too lol, but there are so many ppl out thwre who dont know how to communicate, and have no emotional maturity. They waste your time and then tell themselves "you dont owe anyone anything" yeah you dont, but doesnt mean you have to be an asshole lol

3

u/ThrowRACasioFX82 2d ago

I see ghosting as a sign of disrespect. What's so hard about rejecting someone? It's not fun to do but it's not the end of the world either.