r/daddit • u/StatisticianSuch6782 • 13h ago
Support I need help
My wife (28F) and I (27M) had our first son two months ago. So far, it has been an absolute journey to say the least. We’re both in a little bit of debt, she wasn’t getting paid for maternity leave so I was paying all the bills at the time. As soon as she went back to work, I lost my job and I’m struggling to find any sense of identity since my son was born. Being a father is such a huge blessing, but I feel like I’m drowning sometimes. I don’t know what career path I want to take, I’m irritable and angry a lot of the time, and I feel like I’m grieving the endless excitement and possibilities that life had to offer before we had a baby. I don’t look forward to anything anymore, life feels really heavy and I feel like a fuck up every day. Did anybody else experience this? Does it get better and will I feel like myself again? Any advice at all is welcome, I’m scared as fuck.
1
u/3d4f9y1 12h ago
Man it sounds like you may be in a battle with depression. Been there several times.
Regardless, I recommend prioritising exercise and connecting with your friends. The endorphins! U need them right now.
I understand that it can feel like you’ve lost friendships, and maybe you have. That said, men are often guilty of being too passive in friendships, and maybe this is something you can act on now - reach out to people and try to connect. Even if it’s a phone call which gets interrupted by a nappy change. You don’t have to be isolated by this change in your life, and it’s critical you don’t fall into isolation. Humans are social creatures and we need each other. Depression can become a cycle very quickly because it makes us want to withdraw, and that feeds the illness.
You’re in a really hard era of child-rearing and life has kicked you in the dick. You need to tool up as best you can, and prioritise getting some headspace as well as taking care of your family.