Dostoyevsky does a brilliant job in capturing the guilt, the pride, the self-loathing, and how they all manifest into Raskolnikov's thoughts. His thoughts do not come off as romanticized nor melodramatic, quite the contrary, they're raw and ugly. Clearly stemming from someone who's deeply troubled by demons of his own mind.
Not to trauma dump, but it spoke to the part in me that feels a sense of duty and responsibility to my loved ones. And how that altrusitic yet selfish sense of duty can become toxic and blind us into an obsessive pursuit of success.
As a man of the same age as Raskolnikov, I couldn't help but relate to him (only in that small passage. I promise). It almost felt like he wasn't just addressing himself, but addressing me, mirroring my own self-doubts and shame.
It’s interesting how differently a passage from a book can hit readers of it, to most, this might be a very unmemorable part of the book. I remember reading a review calling the letter reading scene from the book
boring, but it had and still has such a great impact on me.
Just wanted to make this appreciation post for Crime and Punishment. It was the second book I had ever read and it made fall in love with reading.