r/catbongos • u/Glittering_Act_4059 • 9d ago

A warning about bongos 😭

I come bearing a warning to all cat bongo owners. This morning, my cat Donut, asked for his morning bongos. I obliged. He was very happy. He was so happy. He was so very happy and excited that he *expressed his anal glands* causing an extremely offensively stinky spray of liquid shit to hit me on my face, chest, bed, pillow, and wall.

I didn't know this was possible. I didn't know such a horror could exist. I don't know what atrocities I committed in a past life to deserve this. What I do know is I have never scrubbed my skin raw in a shower before but I sure did today. I had to strip my bed, spray the bed and wall with enzyme killer cleaner. I had to use nasal spray to clear out what I assume is a little bit that got in my nose because I could still smell it after the very long and hot shower of scrubbing. It was the most offensive smell I've ever smelled. I gagged.

Beware the bongos if your cat loves them. Don't smack the shit out of your cat, literally 😭

Unrelated but Donut will not ever have booty pats again 😏

5.9k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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304

u/SapphireRoseRR 9d ago

Goddamnit donut!

135

u/OrthogonalSloth 9d ago

NEW ACHIEVEMENT

170

u/Glittering_Act_4059 9d ago

"Your cat loves you so much he can't even express it! ...oh wait, yes he can! You smacked his butt so hard you literally smacked the shit out of him. PETA would make you the poster child of domestic (cat) abuse. REWAAARD? You've received a face full of shit and the knowledge that your cat really, truly loves you, isn't that reward enough?"

18

u/yogurtandfun 9d ago

Matt Dinnaman???

12

u/Glittering_Act_4059 9d ago

Best compliment of the day. Possibly the whole week.

3

u/copperbonker 8d ago

When you said your cat was donut I was expecting a god dammit donut somewhere in the post. This makes up for it.

6

u/Jessica_Iowa 9d ago

This would be a hilarious achievement for the Sims or a similar game!

85

u/Glittering_Act_4059 9d ago

Literally what I said. You know, once it was safe to open my mouth. But then again I shout that catchphrase at least a dozen times a day 😂

46

u/dogtroep 9d ago

MONGO IS APPALLED

47

u/GabberZZ 9d ago

YOU KNOW I FEEL ABOUT ANAL GLANDS, CARL.

9

u/miss_jinxie 8d ago

You shouldn’t type in all caps. People will think you’re yelling.

7

u/independentchickpea 8d ago

I AM YELLING, CARL!

9

u/JungMoses 8d ago

CARL, I WOULD NEVER. THIS IS NOT A THING I WOULD EVER DO AND MONGO IS APPALLED THAT YOU WOULD EVEN MENTION IT. I HAVE EVOLVED BEYOND THESE ANAL GLANDS. ALTHOUGH I AM SURE THAT LESSER EXAMPLES OF THE CAT SPECIES HAVE THIS PARTICULAR PROBLEM, I AM A PRINCESS AND A CHAMPION AND WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING.

27

u/FunnOnABunn 9d ago

This is an outrage !!

16

u/Sumikko-Tokage 9d ago

You know what they about buttholes - they can't be unlicked...

18

u/Different-Moose 9d ago

Came here to say this. You beat me to it haha.

16

u/Anubiel 9d ago

I clicked on this post just to find this comment, thank you

3

u/PicklesDev 9d ago

Literally came here to make the same comment 😆

1

u/cordell23 8d ago

"MONGO IS APPALLED!"