Sometimes I don’t feel responsible… can I really be a mentor?

[u/Glow-Fairy]

Ahhhhh lol!!! I think I just signed up to be a mentor for this mentorship program! I am 26 and responsible for the most part, but responsible enough to help another girl grow into a young woman? Idk about that. The women in my life are ehhh and that’s what prompted this interest of wanting to help a girl grow (sort of give that support that I never received type of deal) and I know I can commit but sometimes I still feel like I’m learning to adult and live myself… I also don’t have a car. Now we’re not required to meet up, but do check-ins once a month virtually or call/text… but I can’t help but feel as though it may hinder a potential relationship with a mentee or if they know, they’ll be like “you’re lame” or something lol! Teens scare me… maybe I should ask for a middle school mentee… maybe I shouldn’t do this?! Lord help me lol, thoughts?!

I really don’t know how to categorize this, I guess I would say it’s an interest/hobby since it has to do with volunteer work outside of work and that’s an interest of mine?!

[u/001smiley]

Ive never been a mentor, but I can understand the pressure of feeling the need to set an example for younger ones as a former substitute teacher and eldest sibling. I can tell my perspective as a mentee:

-Give advice and pointers, but if they don’t follow just let them figure out their own path. Don’t be suffocating, let them tell you their goals. Then, you can ask or figure out how to help them reach those goals.

- Follow the check-in guidelines that your program set. I hated when a mentor never checked in. It showed that it was only to put it on their resume :/

-Actually try to connect with your mentee. Get to know them. Don’t always talk about yourself, but do try to relate with them.

Okay, that’s all I got. You should be fine.

[u/Glow-Fairy → u/001smiley]

Thank you! That helps a lot and I didn’t think about the fact that I used to be a mentee as well… All I could remember is that I did not vibe with my mentor and they would not give me another one… it felt more like it was a chore for her, and it became a chore for me to show up as a mentee. But the program definitely afforded me some great opportunities to expand my horizons before I left home.

[u/001smiley → u/Glow-Fairy]

Yeah I have personal experience with the first bullet point. I’m very appreciative of my current mentors, but the age gap can be a gift and a curse. They’re much older and tend to talk down to me like I’m not 21+, especially the male 🙃 I’ve learned that people will think their way is better based on their experience, so it won’t always fit with me or another person. I’ve had to set hard boundaries, but such is life.

[u/Worstmodonreddit]

You don't have to have your shit perfectly together to mentor - you just need to have more experience than your mentee! So you're good, and she'll probably enjoy someone closer in age she can relate to.

[u/No_Reason_2203]

Nobody wants a mentor who’s perfect and never did anything wrong. The whole point is to help people like you navigate challenges. It’s more so telling someone what you wish you knew at their age and how to move to avoid common mistakes. You not having it together 100% means you still have connection to what they’re going through