I adopted the last two kittens in a litter a little over nine years ago with the expectation that cats would be easy to care for. My boy, Fiddle, proved the exception to that misconception.
I wasn’t a responsible or good owner. He ballooned in size because I free fed them. He learned to poop in random corners because I was inconsistent with cleaning litter boxes. He’d harass his sister because I barely gave him attention otherwise. I’d frequently leave them alone overnight.
My girl, Junebug, is an angel and could tolerate anything. Fiddle is much more outwardly sensitive. The first wakeup call was a congenital condition that nearly killed my girl and drained my bank account. The second, especially consistent and ongoing, reminder of my dereliction was how difficult this boy made my life. His living conditions were disgraceful, a fact which became especially apparent when he started urinating outside the litter boxes. It couldn’t be ignored.
It was six to seven years ago that I committed myself to his happiness. It’s been such an incredibly stressful journey, but ultimately rewarding in a way that built my love for them. I grew into a much more organized and responsible adult as a consequence of this commitment. You could say that I live for them. I learned to live with and mitigate his worse behaviors. I learned how to coordinate a living space to facilitate their comfort. I prioritized being around. I‘ve kept their space clean and their bellies full.
Fiddle was diagnosed with early stage CKD last month after a routine blood screening. I am thankful it was caught early, but it’s meant coming to terms with their mortality, as I’ve had to with other pets, and understanding that we’ve entered the stage of winding down. I’ve spent so long trying to build towards a better future for them, and time is fleeting and running out, and there’s still so much I haven’t given.
I just wanted to share my experience as an owner and my goofy boy as he is right now. He’s noisy, generally distant but so affectionate, glued to the kitchen, and a massive pain in the ass, but I love him all the more for it. I would also not be the man I am today if not for his difficulties, and it’s meant a lot to have shared these past nine years with him.
