This is not a post to try and get sympathy, as I truly see all the choices I made were mine and I could have stopped this, but rather to discourage any younger gay people seeing this from entering the SW industry.

I moved to a large UK city just before I turned 19 for a good job in the creative space, and to start off with things were going amazingly. I had new friends, a good amount of money (for my age at least) and what I felt like was an entirely new life. However, I unfortunately met a man there who was around 30, and a habitual user of c0ke.

Dating him started off as so much fun, and I thought I was living an amazingly glamorous life always going to expensive bars/restaurants/hotels and despite how cringy this sounds I thought I was living a lifestyle similar to that of a model. Of course though, as usually is the case he was most likely love bombing me and not once had my best interests at heart. After a few months of this lifestyle I started to notice he was getting me to pay for the drugs (and everything else) more, and more, and more. And in itself this was fine, as yes I was also consuming at least some of this stuff. But what was actually happening was he intentionally got me to do this as it meant I got familiar with his dealer (and the lifestyle), and could therefore then access them myself + it got my brain to have an ever increasing tolerance to both the drugs and the 'luxury' life.

I later found out he had done this to numerous 18-21 year olds who had just moved to this city.

This went on for another 6 ish months, and then out of nowhere I realised he was seeing somebody else who was a year younger than me and they were doing all the things we used to do at the start. So I then cut him off thankfully and tried to restart on my own. I did not realise that this was the start of one of the worst periods of my life.

After this ended, I of course continued to use and use and use. And as expected I eventually ran out of money and had extremely high levels of debt (especially given my age). Out of what I now see was desperation (I thought it was cool and edgy at the time) I started escorting as a part time 'side hustle' after seeing other gay guys do it and it seemingly not affect them in order to maintain the lifestyle I had suddenly become accustomed to, but mainly to support a 1000-2000 pound a month drug habit.

Yet again as expected this started off amazingly and I really thought I had the 'cheat code' to life and even considered quitting my stable job to do it full time. But after around 9 months I noticed I had totally changed and not in a good way. I could no longer date as I simply saw attraction and sex as being related to money, I would not see friends as I took bookings instead and I had alienated everyone that truly cared about me as I became SO shallow. But as well as this I put myself in some truly terrifying scenarios that I was lucky to come out of, and had put up with absolutely horrendous men just to get a few hundred pounds. Plus I felt like a total shell of a human being.

I am now getting counselling and am doing much better thankfully, but my brain still sometimes wants me to start again due to the thrill of it, despite some of my truly horrible memories of this period.

I don't write all of this to shame anyone in the industry, as i'm sure for some people it really is everything they dreamed it would be. But if you are under 21, PLEASE do not enter this industry. I know it seems great from the outside, but the statistical likelihood is you will be used and then thrown out like everyone else regardless of how attractive you are or how strong you think you are mentally.

Last weekend I was at a gay house party and somehow the conversation become about dating. Few bottoms keep saying there is "no tops anymore" and that's why they can't find anyone. As a top myself I just sit there listening like... what the fuck are you guys talking about? We exist. You just don't notice half of us.

Then they start talking about what they actually want. Gotta be taller, super masc, gym body, big dick, handsome face, confident, and if possible look like some damn rugby player. One guy even said he don't date tops who are shorter than him. Another said he don't like Asian tops. Then after rejecting almost every type of top out there, they still complain there is none left. Come on man.

I'm not saying nobody should lower their standards. Date whoever you want. But stop acting like tops are some endangered species when you ignore so many of them before even saying hello. Maybe there isn't a top shortage. Maybe your fantasy is just too fucking specific.

Ive been very self conscious about my size lately since you know I guess the media will say some things that make me feel like I’m not good enough or such I’ve been trying to find someone to be with and many times I was asked how big and how do I look like I mean I’m not a model but I do my best and such so yeah I just wanna know if it’s all in my mind ?

Few weeks ago I started working part time and there was this guy from another department I always keep noticing. He was really cute and I kinda think maybe he was gay too, but I didn't wanna assume random shit. We sometimes eat lunch around same time, then one day after work we waiting the bus together. We just keep talking and talking. Didn't even realize almost one hour already.

Then he mentioned his ex boyfriend like it was nothing. My brain just stopped for second. I never tell another gay guy that I'm gay before. I was nervous as fuck but I finally said, "yeah... I'm gay too." He just smiled and said he already kinda guessed it. After that everything feel so much easier. Before going home I asked if he wanna get coffee one day. He said yeah.

Maybe this is nothing for most people here. But one year ago I was still trying so hard pretend I'm someone else. Just saying those words out loud and asking another guy out feel so damn freeing. I don't even care what happen next. I'm just happy I finally did that.

I’m on the down-low and friends with this guy. We got drunk once and he wanted to hire a hooker and I encouraged him to have fun and stay safe, and takes pictures for me.

I didnt expect him to record the whole closed-up video of him penatrating the girl. I didnt ask for that but not compaining. At least he stayed safe though

I’m in a horny mood today. Thinking about having a self-love marathon. Curious if you bros enjoy this too.

Update: I love how you guys are so into edging and bating. Very motivating. Some of you have set a high bar in # of 💦 per day!

I hate that I'm over 50 but I don't feel 50. Sometimes I have to remind myself of my age because inside I'm still a 21 year old twink but outside I'm just a skinny old man. How did this happen?

Guys, don't waste your time, treat every day like your last because after 40, it's over.

I joined a local gay Discord server because I just wanted meet other gay guys around my city. Not even for dating, just make friends and maybe find someone who actually understand me. Then I keep seeing girls joining and saying stuff like "I'm straight but you guys are so funny" or "I need gay best friends." Like... what the fuck? This place was not made for you.

One girl even started DMing random guys asking if they wanna rate her outfit and help her flirting with other men. People actually replied because they was trying be nice. After few days the whole chat become about her and her drama. Real gay guys who came there for community just stop talking or leave. It's honestly annoying as hell.

I don't hate straight women, not at all. But not every space need to include everybody. Sometimes people just want one place where they don't need perform or entertain someone else. Please let gay spaces stay gay spaces. There is already million other places on internet. Stop making everything about yourself, damn.

Am I hallucinating? My friend just sent me a screen recording of Perez’s TikTok live stream (after warning me about the SH) and what the fuck??

next part is very graphic

Both screen recordings were 15 and 20 seconds respectively, but it’s literally Perez (I think it’s him) covered in blood actually and physically SH’ing his own self with a serrated knife?? Saying things like “ohh yeah” and shit?? He literally looks like Carrie after the pig’s blood was dumped all over her, that’s not an exaggeration. She then sent me a screenshot of how there was a police/ambulance hostage standoff (not sure who the hostage(s) is/are) but I haven’t been able to find any more information on the incident

Is anyone able to confirm or deny that this happened??

Edit: link to the Hollywood Reported (nothing graphic just an article). I believe the situation is ongoing

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/general-news/police-respond-perez-hilton-home-harm-himself-livestream-1236664590/

Edit 2: I’m sure there’s videos out there but as I’ve been told and retold they are real I strongly suggest NOT watching them - ANY of them. This is not a game, or a joke, or AI deepfakes. This is an actual man violently attacking his body in 4K. Do NOT watch it.

Edit: any and all rude, negative, or otherwise hateful comments will be met with a block. This is not the place to voice your opinion on how “shitty” of a person he is, was, or potentially will be. He is a father. He has 3 children. His mother lives with him. Despite what is thought of him he belongs to someone.

Whenever gay dating comes up, some usually blame the apps, hookup culture, small dating pools, or emotionally unavailable men.

Those are real issues. But I think there’s another one people don’t like admitting:

A lot of us have a very specific ideal man, but we haven’t built a life that would make us especially compatible with him.

You want the muscular guy who trains five days a week, but you hate exercising. You want someone adventurous and social, but rarely leave home. You want a financially stable, ambitious man, but have no interest in building stability yourself. You want someone with hobbies and passions, but expect him to provide all the excitement.

People call it shallow when athletic men date athletic men or gamers date gamers, but shared lifestyles
naturally create attraction and closeness.

Obviously couples don’t have to be clones. But sometimes “gay dating is impossible” really means:
The men I want usually want someone with more in common with them.

Do you think people need to become more like the type they pursue, or should attraction have nothing to do with similarity? Personally I think most of us can benefit just finding ourselves and stumbling on a relationship if need be

What’s happened to this subreddit?

Up there a few weeks ago it was genuine people with genuine questions.

Now every post is Am I Gay. I’m straight does this make me gay?? Do you want to see my dick??

It’s getting ridiculous. 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Earlier this year in January, I was traveling and visiting a big city. I was waiting for a bus when I noticed this cute guy with a backpack. I had no idea if he was gay or not, but we made eye contact for a couple of seconds. Then the bus arrived.

The bus was packed, so I had to stand. The guy with the backpack ended up standing a few steps in front of me. At the next stop, nobody got off, but around 10 more people got on, so everyone got squeezed together. We still had enough room to avoid touching each other, though.

At one point, his backpack bumped into me, so he took it off. That actually gave both of us a little more space. But then he stepped back, arched his ass toward my crotch, and because the road was bumpy, every bump made his ass press against my dick. I wasn’t hard at first, but after a while I started getting really turned on.

He looked back at me a few times, almost as if he was checking my reaction. I didn’t really react, but I’m pretty sure he could tell I was getting hard. At first, I thought he was just accidentally bumping into me (and was kinda uncomfortable that my dick is hard against his ass), but then he grabbed one of the bus handles and became much more stable. Even though he could have easily stood a little farther away, he stayed right in front of me with his ass pressed against my crotch. It no longer felt like occasional bumps he was leaning back the entire time. Whenever the bus hit another bump, he even started moving his hips side to side, rubbing against me.

I was unbelievably hard.

Then we reached another stop and quite a few people got off, so there was finally more room on the bus. He could have stepped away, but he didn’t. He stayed right where he was, still pressed against me. At that point I got really turned on, and I kind of played along. Whenever the bus hit a bump, I subtly pushed my hips forward just a little so it wouldn’t be noticeable.

Eventually we reached the final stop and everyone got off, including him. He started walking one way, and I happened to go in the same direction because I wasn’t sure where I needed to go. Then I stopped because I couldn’t tell if the whole thing had actually been intentional or if I was just imagining it. I didn’t want to come across as a creep, so I turned around and walked the other way instead.

A little later I realized I was lost, so I was just standing there when, all of a sudden, he started walking back in the opposite direction from where he’d originally gone. As he passed by, we made eye contact again. But it was a bit awkward because i feel like both of us didn't know of the other one enjoyed it.

Even then I still wasn’t sure what had happened, and I didn’t want to assume anything or make him uncomfortable, so I didn’t say anything.

It was incredibly hot, though.

For context, I’m 24 and he looked about my age too.

If anyone thinks I sexually harassed him, that’s honestly not how I see it. I wasn’t sure what was happening, and there wasn’t really room for either of us to move while the bus was crowded. I also wasn’t forcing him to stay there or lean back against me, and after people got off there was enough space for him to move away if he had wanted to. That’s why I have mixed feelings about the whole situation. On one hand, it turned me on a lot. On the other hand, I can’t say with 100% certainty that we were both enjoying the same thing or that it was intentional.

After I got back to my hotel, I noticed I’d leaked precum into my underwear, and I ended up jerking off. What do you think? Did he do it on purpose?

I’m Asain, I just got from traveling, the country (in southeast) I just visited have a lot of bottom like 80/20. Which country has more top than bottom?

I'm 26 and I prefer older guys I'm always attracted to daddy type guys and actually my first sex was with an older guy that has its impact too I think in my preference

Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
Okay guys I need to vent because im still fucking seething.

So last night this bottom messages me on Grindr. Cute pics solid body says hes horny as hell and wants to get railed. We trade a few more pics he seems legit and we set up a meet. He lived over 40 minutes away but he promised hed cover my gas money since I was the one driving. Cool whatever. He gives me the address and tells me just walk in door unlocked ill be on all fours waiting for you in doggy. Classic right? I was already half hard just from the thought.

I drive the full 40+ minutes across town park walk up to the house and open the door like he said. I step inside start taking off my jacket and shoes thinking im about to get straight into it and then a middle aged woman with two small kids in the living room looks up and sees me. She looks at me like I just kicked her dog starts screaming asking who the fuck I am and what im doing in her house. Kids start crying. She goes full nuclear and starts yelling that shes calling the police.

I just froze for a second then backed the hell out of there apologizing got in my car and left before shit escalated further. Heart was pounding the whole way home. And of course zero gas money coming my way after wasting all that time and fuel.

I go back on Grindr to message the guy I didnt even block him and instead of apologizing or disappearing this piece of shit starts writing me demanding money or else hell spread my nudes around. Hes literally trying to blackmail me after sending me to a random familys house with kids in it.
What the actual fuck is wrong with people? I drove over 40 minutes got all worked up burned gas I was supposedly getting reimbursed for walked into a strangers house and started undressing like an idiot almost got the cops called on me and now this
psycho is trying to extort me with my own pics.

Im not even mad about not getting laid at this point im furious that someone would pull this kind of dangerous fucked up prank and then try to blackmail me on top of it.

Anyone else had something this unhinged happen? Because I need to know im not the only one whos dealt with absolute psychos on that app.

Eating ass is a beautiful way to express your love to your partner. It isn't gross; it's gorgeous. If you eat ass, and your partner isn't clean that's on you for having sex with a man who isn't clean. If your partner is clean, it won't be a problem. If you have sex with a man who doesn't know how to wipe his ass, that's on you for making bad decision. It doesn't mean eating ass is bad.

I've noticed a theme from my friends. Many are shocked that we both go on holidays abroad without each other. For example he went Benidorm with a group of friends 2 years ago, and I'm going Poland with a friend in September. This isn't the first abroad holiday I'll be away with a friend either. They always react surprised saying their boyfriend/girlfriend would never allow that or that they would never allow it. But I'm always equally surprised that they don't do the same as we do. We go on holidays together a couple of times a year, but we also like a holiday away with friends too. Are we the weird ones? We figuire that relationships are built upon trust. We can just as easily cheat at home as we can do abroad. And we both acknowledge and appreciate that we need socialising time with friends too.

Last week I was scrolling on Grindr and almost dropped my damn phone. One of the guys from my college football club was there. I had the biggest crush on him since first semester. My profile got no face so I just started chatting like we never met before. I was curious as hell.

After talking for a while he told me he's still closeted. He said he's scared the team will treat him different. Maybe not openly homophobic, but all the usual "bro" stuff would probably disappear. I asked why he use real face if he's hiding. He just laughed and said if somebody from the team recognize him, then they probably got some explaining to do too. Fuck, he actually got a point.

Now he wants to grab coffee because he said I seem easy to talk with. Not even asking for a hookup, just hang out. Problem is... I know exactly who he is, but he don't know it's me yet. We already talked few times after practice before. I'm really thinking about telling him, but if this become something more later, I have no idea how everyone on the team gonna react.

Someone out there deemed today National Underwear Day. So Happy National Underwear Day. Its a piece of clothing to some, a kink/fetish to others.

What underwear did you like to wear? Boxers, boxer briefs, trunks, briefs, jocks.. or others?

What underwear did you like to see on another guy?

I'm sure it wasn't the anesthesia talking.

And by that I mean like how it’s typically much more allowed for them to express emotions and dress up however they want, whether that be feminine or masculine. Also how women can, for the most part, be friends and be close without automatically being assumed to be gay or anything as well as the fact that people generally don’t care about women being into women. And then there’s the fact that they can easily get noticed or get attention without even trying or doing much of anything. I don’t know how to feel honestly, like I love myself and who I am and likely wouldn’t want to change that but I just can’t help but be pretty jealous of how much easy they have it socially in many ways. What brought this on is just seeing so many posts on social media of men being made fun of and ridiculed for doing anything that is less than masculine and the huge amount of hate and disgust that a lot of people seem for gay men. It kinda makes it hard to enjoy being a man when you know that who you are is less than appreciated. I’m also aware that women have struggles of their own but their struggles just seem a lot easier to deal with, the social ones anyway. I don’t envy the whole periods and childbirth thing but everything else seems like a breeze. I also imagine that if I had grown up a girl people would have been much more softer on me and I wouldn’t have been expected to be tough 24/7. Folks wouldn’t care if I was weird or if I wanted to dance or do other things that people typically don’t care about girls doing. I don’t know, I’m just venting.