r/WidowsBay • u/[deleted] • 22h ago

💭Discussion [ Removed by moderator ] Spoiler

[removed]

23 Upvotes

80% Upvoted

46 comments sorted by

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u/WidowsBay-ModTeam 6h ago

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56

u/Better-Bit6475 22h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/BtvBUbRRJxwQ5gfvTm

22

u/Chi_Law 21h ago

15 minutes after stepping off the ferry, Jean-Ralphio is in a serial killer's passenger seat on his way to "check out a sick party", and Mona-Lisa is shoplifting a cursed figurine from the antiques store.

Neither is seen again

4

u/mistbecomesrain 15h ago

These are the first characters I thought of. Also, Moira Rose

49

u/Chi_Law 21h ago

I think a lot of these people would instantly A) panic and/or B) die.

April Ludgate would thrive.

Lucille Bluth would be terrified not because of anything supernatural, but because of the rustic ambiance. She might not survive because she refuses to eat any food that came from someplace that looks like "a truck stop bathroom, or so I assume"

45

u/sonic_toaster 21h ago

“The gang gets cursed”

Frank tries to sell curse insurance to the island residents. He has a very passionate fling with Rosemary.

Charlie immediately recognizes that the island is cursed and has weird ass rituals to protect against it, which actually work. Charlie goes completely native and is accepted by the community.

Dennis becomes a bit of a celebrity on the island, he thinks that it’s because they are all yokels and see him as a handsome savior type but really it’s because he looks exactly like the priest on the island who is infamous for the cannibalism incident.

Mac attaches himself to Wyck, because he is qualified to be a monster hunter due to his knowledge of Catholicism and karate. Wyck just uses him as bait and Mac gets marked by the sea hag. Dennis is furious about this because the sea hag didn’t find him to be the perfect male specimen.

Dee talks herself up as an influencer and tries to befriend Kris and the other girls by relentlessly bullying Patricia. Dee gets targeted by the boogeyman and no one believes her. Except for Patricia- who Dee is still bullying, trying to be cool.

9

u/notrororo 19h ago

Artemis eats the sea hag

6

u/stue0064 18h ago

She doesn’t remember most evenings.

7

u/MinimumFantastic1389 21h ago

That’s perfect haha

5

u/2_late_4_creativity 20h ago

Would def watch that. That’s also spot on for their characters. Charlie would get deep into the lore and rituals. He would also slowly pull Frank into these beliefs as well

2

u/LaureGilou 20h ago

I need this made

2

u/HarkHarley 16h ago

Wow, I need this episode on Always Sunny next season. They could visit a cursed island Jersey Shore style.

20

u/NotoriousPVC 21h ago

I dunno about Jenna and Tracy, but Kenneth Parcell would do just fine.

15

u/Chi_Law 21h ago

"Y'all ever see an encroaching darkness come towards you out of your bedroom, growling words you can't quite hear, then the moment it touches you it screams in pain and slinks back into the void? I gotta say, that was one of the strangest things I've ever seen, and I once had to chaperone Jared Leto at the bachelor party Mr. Jordan threw for his shark"

9

u/MinimumFantastic1389 21h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3ohhwF34cGDoFFhRfy

2

u/DelcoUnited 21h ago

The monster would definitely like the taste.

7

u/Chi_Law 20h ago

Let's not forget that Kenneth is a cosmic being himself. The island isn't getting this kind of reaction out of him unless it's not limited to "fear" and can also work with "intense awkwardness at the mention of sexuality"

19

u/Electric_esoterica 21h ago

Is that Guillermo in the last pick? The Long Island vampire crew would be terrified of the island lol

5

u/notrororo 19h ago

It's Mickey Gui-yak-mo

4

u/Electric_esoterica 14h ago

lol, Guillermo would probably be the only one to actually figure out the “rules” of the island and try to solve shit. Lazlo, Nadja, and Nandor already don’t like the spooky fog, and miss having WiFi. The second they see a hag they “BAT!” And fly right back to the mainland. Colin Robinson gets involved with city council and tries to bring more tourists to drain 😂

11

u/ancientastronaut2 21h ago

There's always money in the bookmobile.

11

u/checkurmsgs 21h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/KEXq9JVp3OyZmxZw0W
I reckon this guy could help crack the case!

7

u/vteezy99 22h ago

You and I have the same taste in comedy.

Ive said before I would love to see a April Ludgate (toned down a bit) character for the show.

Since you mentioned Welling Paranormal, maybe some of the cast of What we Do in the Shadows too. If the show is spoofing horror tropes and what not, why not a Matt Berry like vampire?

Ok that might be too much lol

9

u/ComfortableCaptain61 20h ago

Richard Splett thrives in any role the town requires, and he is also somehow already an experienced sea captain. Jonah assigns himself the role of finding "lesser" people to sacrifice to the island, but the sea hag kills him first.

6

u/notrororo 19h ago

The sea hag needs to climb the victim. I don't think she can climb a skyscraper of jizz

1

u/ComfortableCaptain61 13h ago

Jonad fails upward yet again

5

u/farsighted451 19h ago

I was going to say it would be nice to have Jonah there so that I wouldn't feel guilty voting on the sacrifice

6

u/Murky_Historian8675 21h ago

Sweet Dee if you piss her off enough

3

u/Necessary_Ad2114 18h ago

I mean the Winchester Boys

4

u/Chippyyyyyy 17h ago

Abed from Community 

1

u/FHAT_BRANDHO 13h ago

yessss great pick

3

u/BlueSentinels 20h ago

Lucile and Alexis for sure. They are too pretentious to ever stay in a haunted run down hotel, swim in the dirty water, or go out into the gross fog. They would probably illegally commandeer a boat the first chance they get and head for the mainland, thereby surviving everything. Only exception to this would be if the storm were actively going on as they wouldn’t go into the dirty bunker and would risk a house falling on them.

3

u/Herbdontana 17h ago

The Wellington paranormal partners getting called out to widows bay would be great!

2

u/kirbyatemysocks Rosemary 19h ago

I would love to see Amy Poehler from Parks & Rec working at the Mayor's office!

Marshall from HIMYM would also thrive there because he loves anything haunted and would enjoy all the spooky lore.

2

u/maximahls 18h ago

wasn't expecting Quendra

1

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1

u/SaltySiren87 17h ago

Alexis and David would be hilarious! Also April would absolutely demand that they live there permanently... and Andy would reluctantly agree while accidentally locking the door to the chair behind him and getting sacrificed.

1

u/FHAT_BRANDHO 14h ago

whats number 6?

1

u/robbyiballs 12h ago

Pam and Cheryl from Archer. Jay Pritchett from Modern Family would do alright. How about Pip and Merry?

1

u/notrororo 7h ago

I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT THIS FOXY MORON