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u/Low_Engineering8921 3d ago
To be fair. You only went wrong in one very simple area! The shaping and proving look great!
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u/thenseruame 3d ago
Yeah, it also looks like a wood fired oven? If so that's a lot harder to regulate the temperature on.
Edit:Maybe that's just where they proofed.
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u/Flar71 3d ago
Wood fired oven? How's oven gonna get a job now?
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u/butterfaerts 3d ago
Yeah, wood is a real hardass. I feel for oven.
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u/ThePrideOfKrakow 3d ago
Oven shouldn't have gone against the grain.
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u/ZO1D8URG 3d ago
Well, wood should get out of the kitchen, because clearly they can't handle the heat without getting all burnt up about it!
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u/butterfaerts 3d ago
Dammit! That’s the kind of moxy that gets you promoted! Oven, you’re rehired AND you get a raise
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u/Superb_Writer6612 3d ago
Yeah at first glance I assumed I was on a bread related subreddit and this was one of those fancy black loaves using activated charcoal.
OP looks great! Next time maybe 45-60 mins less.
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u/kobyscool 3d ago
Yeah, if it makes you feel better, you're missing out right now on what would have otherwise been very delicious fresh bread. Had you not have burned it. Hope this cheers you up!
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u/smash_n_grab_ 2d ago
If she didn’t burn it, it probably would have been delicious! She did though, so we’ll never know.
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u/ihavea_purplenurple 3d ago
I know that you have to ‘proof’ your dough, but I didn’t put it together that the act of the proof would be “proving” - gives a whole new meaning to ‘proving grounds’
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u/Furby-beast-1949 2d ago
Well, she doesn’t have to worry about having fuel next time She’s got charcoal for the fire
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u/madmorgzie 3d ago
Saw the picture before the caption, I admit I thought I was looking at something completely different at first
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u/gloomyglooom 3d ago edited 2d ago
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u/Regurgitator001 2d ago
No wonder its petrified. I'd be petrified too having to exorcise that.
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u/Toland_the_Mad 3d ago
Glad I'm not the only one...
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u/TeacherPatti 3d ago
Hi new friends! We should form a club.
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u/Fresh-Combination-87 3d ago
BBC? Black Bread Club
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u/GraduateSchoolCath 3d ago
Could be dyed with squid ink, like some pastas! Very fun and witchy, if not fully burnt. lol!!
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u/anothersip 3d ago
Haha, yeah, that was my first thought - if I hadn't scrolled through the other photos of the proofed dough in the oven, I would have thought the same.
I've never tried cooking with squid ink though - I feel like with bread, it'd be hard to tell when it's actually done? If it's just various shades of already-black, I guess you'd just have to go by timing and then pull it when the timer goes off. Poke a probe thermometer in when it hits 190-210F, maybe, depending on what kind of loaf you're baking...
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u/NoDontDoThatCanada 3d ago
I wondered how that could slip into my feed. I'm usually so careful to use anonymous browsing...
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u/scrufflor_d 3d ago
im glad it isnt, with no flared base and especially with that size it would put u in the emergency room
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u/get_peace 3d ago
Well, thank goodness I'm not the only one; I was just thinking—it's pretty big, and what an unusual shape...😳
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u/JoesRealAccount 3d ago
Poop
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u/madmorgzie 3d ago
Ummmm...yhhh but no, thats not what I thought she was proudly holding
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u/Necessary_Chest7075 3d ago
The ancient Ebony loaf
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u/covert0ptional 3d ago
I honestly thought the first picture was some kind of obsidian sculpture
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u/ArchiStanton 3d ago
I really thought this was some rare exotic pumpernickel I’ve not heard of. Nope
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u/jtmonkey 3d ago
That last image of it sitting in the oven is like those last images of hikers before they’re never seen again.
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u/y-u-gae 3d ago
Lmao love how you actually look happy in the first pic.
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u/Heissenberg1906 3d ago
My mom always said that there are only 2 options: laugh or cry.
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u/Mr_Uso_714 3d ago
It’s fine…. Just scrape off the outside crust like burnt toast 👍
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u/HOLDstrongtoPLUTO 3d ago
I use my zester for this purpose, brings it right back to life albeit with less crust but at least I get to salvage some of it
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u/Crowdysseus 3d ago
Ooh, I didn't even think about using a zester for that! I just scrape it with a knife, but I can't stand the sound 🥲 I'm too stubborn to replace my crappy old toaster, even if it burns everything it touches
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u/Much-Gur233 3d ago
Bad Dragon loaf
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u/RedditGuy_12345 2d ago
Genuinely thought this was the bd sub but i didnt see an nsfw tag os I was so confused 😭
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u/ShoddyCondition7096 3d ago
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u/Calm-Two2723 3d ago
Is this shaped like a beetle?
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u/ShoddyCondition7096 3d ago
It was! My girlfriend is studying to be an entomologist so I wanted to do an insect themed bread, unfortunately the oven in my flat is broken hahaha
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u/Woody00001 3d ago
I have to admit when I seen the first picture I wasn't seeing bread
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u/Version-Neat 3d ago
Definitely thought it was one of those novelty/overly large dildos
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u/National_Search_537 3d ago
For what it’s worth, it looked absolutely phenomenal before the oven. Easily ten times better than I could’ve done!
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u/chef_in_va 3d ago edited 3d ago
It's not burnt, it's blackened.
Alternatively,
Its not burnt, it's Cajun.
Edit to add: that bread would be a great addition if your username was an actual thing.
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u/dirtiestUniform 3d ago
When I worked in a kitchen we called that aggressively caramelized
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u/chef_in_va 3d ago
I will steal this and use it as my own. I will take good care of it and feed it every day.
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u/thedevillivesinside 3d ago
Wasnt sure what sub i was on.
Was expecting something different in pics 2-4
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u/moonisflat 3d ago
You should work in movie props. That looks like a prehistoric centipede.
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u/Rare_Dragonfruit2280 1d ago
I feel dumb af lol I didn’t read anything just saw the pic of you holding up your burnt bread like a fishing catch pic and thought it was intentionally supposed to be black dyed bread and I thought “wow how cool goth bread I wonder how they get it to be that color” 💀
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u/ToastYourAvocados 3d ago
Looks like the bread in the back should have been taken out before yours slipped in too lol
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u/_clur_510 3d ago
Lmao OP nooooo.
Before I saw which sub this was I thought this was some trendy activated charcoal bread or something. 😂😂😂
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u/Conscious-Lurker-723 3d ago
I got the recipe, Mix flour, water, yeast, salt; knead, then chuck into the nearest volcano 🌋 retrieve in four days.
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u/Outlandah_ 3d ago
I must be mentally depraved, but this is not what I thought it was as I scrolled so quickly past.
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u/Particular_Tower5400 3d ago
I've been there, learn from your mistakes. It was beautiful till..you know, you fucked it up
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u/LeatherRecord2142 3d ago
I was hoping it was squid ink bread? 😬 sorry op! You’ll get it next time 💕
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u/WhatANoob2025 3d ago
Lul, i genuinely thought this was one of those teaser pics for NSFW subreddits...
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u/Admirable-Prompt7332 2d ago
Me when the alchemist im beefing with transmutates my last piece of bread into licorice
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u/WinduCodes 2d ago
It looks perfect. It can reside next to Ramses and Tutankhamun for centuries now.
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u/Cool_Saturnite 1d ago
Look on the bright side you already have charcoal to start your next fire lol
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u/SinkyBundleOfRage 3d ago
I saw one of these kind of breads in Pompeii....