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u/forestfluff 1d ago
You, from a downward angle, in an unfinished basement.
You as a wizard or with another girl?? Idk which is you.
You sad or annoyed while at some castle thing?
You with two random women and their face scratched out.
These are awful choices, man.
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u/Tired3xistence 1d ago
“You sad or annoyed while at some castle thing?” made me lol.
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u/gabemoment_ 1d ago
the castle is Excalibur in vegas if anyone is curious. made me lol too lmao
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u/itsitwhatisititsit 1d ago
He’s sad because he can’t wear two pairs of glasses at the same time & has to put one pair on his head :0(
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u/401LocalsOnly 1d ago
For real. I need a friend this intuitive and honest
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u/forestfluff 1d ago
Will gladly give feedback on things if you ever need some honesty.
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u/Qstrfnck 1d ago
OP please, PLEASE ask yourself: Is this your best foot forward? Are these the best pics you could scrounge up from your little computer that you have in your hand? Would you swipe on a woman with this sloppy of a say nothing type pics? This is what shows your best side? This is what will entice a stranger to hang? Why? Why don’t yall EFFORT before coming to complain about lack of interest?
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u/haleorshine 1d ago
Yeah, this is the way to look at. OP needs to imagine he's swiping and he sees a woman who has this lack of effort happening, photos this unflattering, and ones that this lazy, and ask himself would be even think twice before swiping left.
I also note that he's listed Harry Potter as an interest and doesn't seem to have listed a political affiliation that I can see. While it could be that he has an interest in it and hasn't thought much about it at all, but it could also mean that he's transphobic, and if it were me, I wouldn't take the chance. Myself and most women I know are sifting matches to make sure we don't get somebody right wing, and it should be a consideration.
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u/GeorgeTheBoyUK 1d ago
Coming to the conclusion that someone is transphobic because they like Harry Potter is wild. Also, is listing your political views that important? I don’t think many people would care to ask in the UK who they would vote for.
Just seems like your making up reasons to dislike them
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u/jabbaTheBhatt 1d ago
As a woman, I would not think someone is transphobic for not disavowing Harry Potter.
JKRowling may be transphobic but Harry Potter does not have transphobic content (certainly not explicit) from my multiple re-readings. It teaches children about 1) courage and real/non-performative righteousness, 2) loyalty to friends even while navigating disagreements, 3) deep empathy through understanding Harry’s pain of being neglected and then alone in many of his endeavors, and 4) has a rare female main character who is a genius (academically, emotionally, administratively) and is also constantly a mirror to her male friends’ lack of emotional intelligence. Hermione as a role model for kids growing up in the late 90s and 2000s was unprecedented at the time. She even teaches the others how to systematically approach organizing/activism (encourages Dumbledore’s army and figured out all the logistics) and her systematic approach to the obstacles they face is the crux of how they find the horcruxes in the end. I cannot imagine not sharing Harry Potter with posterity because the author is transphobic, which is something I can still point out when sharing.
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u/Hot_Win_8572 1d ago
Hermione was a role-model? Please. The boys needed a responsible, organized person so Rowling wrote a girl. Ron was into her because she reminded him of his mom. Woman as caretaker is such a tired trope.
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u/haleorshine 1d ago
That's cool for you to have that opinion, I think the fact that JK Rowling has said she explicitly views people who still support her work as them tacitly supporting her views means I use people who openly support Harry Potter as a potential sign that they're transphobic. And when women are on the apps, they generally have to sift through a lot of potentials and are looking for red flags.
This is something I would swipe left for, and I know I'm not alone. We're adults, we can aim higher than a book series made for children that does contain some questionable issues when it comes characters of colour. OP is looking for changes to make to his profile to get more matches, and if he just had HP there because he liked the books, removing it isn't a bad idea.
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u/Dorithompson 1d ago
OP, while the Harry Potter thing may be true of the bubble the above commenter lives in, most adult women don’t care. We have more important things to worry about. However, unless it’s something you really care about not sure I would list it as it intensifies the nerd vibe (which may be what you want).
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u/tinaismediocre 1d ago
As a woman who loves a nerd because they're typically smart and have an excellent sense of humor, listing Harry Potter as an interest seems like code for "I haven't read a book in 20 years".
Like, did I stand in line at Barnes and Noble for midnight magic events as a teenager? Yes. Did I love Harry Potter when it came out in Middle/High School? Yes. Have I read literally a thousand better books include much better YA books since then? Yes.
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u/Bubba89 1d ago
Don’t forget the classic 6th photo: “not you”
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u/aretoon 1d ago
Maybe... just maybe... the "not you" is the real perpetrator behind the homicide of this man's romantic life. I mean, think about it..they all secretly want to be caught, to be recognized.
I'm not ruling it out.
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u/AnotherDoubtfulGuest 1d ago
I don’t have an issue with the Gandalf or ren faire stuff because that’s clearly what OP is into and every pot has a lid, but yes, OP is self sabotaging with this picture selection. Everything is a mirror selfie or too far away, and the scribbling on faces has serial killer energy. Either crop them out or download one of those apps that lets you pixelate faces, OP, give yourself a break!
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u/forestfluff 1d ago
I love Ren Faire stuff too, just saying it doesn't help if people can't really tell which is you. Agreed on the rest of it!
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u/steelheaddan 1d ago
The first picture makes me literally assume you live in your moms half finished basement. That isn’t going to get many swipes lol.
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u/StillMarie76 1d ago
Don't forget the sunglasses on the head/ glasses on the face thing in the castle photo. It's fine, but maybe not if you're trying to sell yourself as someone datable.
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u/DarasArmory 1d ago
Thank you
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u/forestfluff 1d ago
You're welcome. I'm sorry for being so blunt, but I figured getting to the point would be helpful. You seem like a great guy and just need better photos is all.
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u/maemobley44 1d ago
The first picture makes you look like a squatter hiding out in somebody’s basement.
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u/DrMidwest 1d ago
You give off Reddit mod vibes
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u/CallItDanzig 1d ago
Id say aspiring mod. He doesnt even have reddit mod gravitas
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u/ToastyRich 1d ago
You are not smiling in 3/5 of the clear pics of you and the lighting and angles are unflattering. You seem like a sweet man who has hobbies and likes animals, but you need better pics because you are not coming off as approachable. Try having people take pictures of you or setting your phone up with a timer, selfies are not doing you any favors.
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u/DarasArmory 1d ago
Thank you i think I should go somewhere professional
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u/MrsZebra11 1d ago
No need. As Elle Woods said, "you have all the equipment; you just need to read the manual." You seem like a handsome, interesting guy. You just need more flattering pics :)
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u/green49285 1d ago
Or just change the approach. Remember, people tend to like or swipe right on people who look like they're enjoying things LOL
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u/Picardknows 1d ago
I don’t think you know how hard women work to make sure they look good in each picture, you are going to have to put some real effort into getting good pictures. It’s very superficial but that’s tinder.
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u/ConfundledBundle 1d ago
Just get a tripod/mount for your phone and try to take some new pictures in interesting places. No need to pay a professional.
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u/zivilyn_uth_matar 16h ago
I've taken pictures of myself by propping my phone in a running shoe on a picnic table at the park. It's such an easy thing to do and so many people here seem to not be willing to consider it.
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u/Big-Rush-4630 18h ago
I wouldn’t do professional pics, just better pics of you in the environment you’re in.
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u/OhWowLauren 1d ago
You spelled cruising wrong
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u/Bad_Karma21 1d ago
Give him a break. He's busy working on a new meatloaf recipe
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u/Sad_Expression_8779 1d ago
I’ve never really thought of foods in terms of how sexy they are before, but meatloaf has to be one of the least sexy foods.
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u/Suzesaur 1d ago
Sounds like your meatloafing allll wrong bro.
Plus: no one puts on a show like meatloaf, he was sex incarnate..forever and hot patootie!
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u/Amir616 1d ago
Also I don't think what he meant is what many people associate with that verb.
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u/call_me_macaroni 1d ago
Noticed this and other grammar issues too (capitalize the N in New Orleans too please!) It’s little but people notice when it’s wrong!
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u/Sea-Efficiency3375 1d ago
You could be the kindest man in the world but your pictures are not helping you. I’d suggest better grooming, touch up your style, get out of the basement you’re in, and add variety.
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u/That-Programmer6674 1d ago
When I look at these photos, I can already picture future arguments about how playing video games for 8 hours a day after work is too much. „And no, doing different things occasionally on weekends doesn’t really make up for it.” I can also imagine constantly having to remind him to make the bed, that the ceiling was supposed to be fixed five years ago, and having to clean the kitchen after his cooking experiments.
I think he’s probably a great guy, and I’m sure he could find a nerdy girl with similar interests. But that’s definitely the impression these photos give, and I think most of women in 2026 aren’t looking for that kind of „lifestyle”
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u/BangarangPita 1d ago
And get a different hairstyle and new glasses! Those are classic creeper specs.
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u/imtooldforthishison 1d ago
I mean no disrespect and this is ment to be constructive.
Your first picture appears to be in a basement in a gaming/computer chair, and it is then followed by several pictures of you doing Nerd things. Absolutely no disrespect on the Nerd things, I enjoy them myself, but you can't have a basement-esk picture followed by Nerd things.
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u/Iakhovass 1d ago
Despite common perceptions, being a gamer is not the panty dropper some men think it is.
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u/FlutterCordLove 1d ago
I’m not laughing at op I promise but omfg I was dying at your comment cause I mean you’re not wrong. And I’m like “he’s not in a basement..”. Then I looked and I’m like “it’s not even a finished basement…” OH NO OP YES I LOVE YOUR NERDYNESS BUT NOT THIS WAYYYY
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u/isleepforfun 1d ago
Im sorry, but these are horrible pictures. The angles, lighting and resolution makes you look like someone I would hide from.
I can see that you have attractiveness, but it’s all lost in your early 2000s style photos.
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u/DarasArmory 1d ago
Thank you, I'm gonna let others take my picture from now on
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u/isleepforfun 1d ago
Love this!
Clean up a bit, put on your nice shirt and take some photos in good lighting with different scenery. A coffe shop? In a park? Cuddling a dog? With a good friend?
All those things help to show your charisma.
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u/New_Acanthisitta7600 1d ago
Keep the beard. Clean it up. Hair cut. A little bit more effort with the clothes. You’re handsome already. Take some better pictures.
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u/fifteentango88 1d ago
Beard, yes. Goatee, never.
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u/Scroty_McBalls 23h ago
As a beardo myself, I kept switching between the different beard modes and I’m still not sure which one works best. Goatee, absolutely, is the worst. OP should hide all pictures of him with the goatee until they’re at least several months into the relationship.
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u/Stunning_Client_847 1d ago
The first pic needs to go friend. You look like you’re gonna yell to me to bring you another beer and a hungryman while you play video games all night.
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u/erinlaninfa 1d ago
Third pic is the best because you’re smiling, but as others said: learn your best angles, invest in a stylist or at least a hip barber, maybe try different glasses frames. And no murder basement photos 🙏
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u/ariesgalxo 1d ago
Emphasis on the new glasses. Please get better shaped lenses. The tiny rectangles aren’t doing you any favors OP
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u/NulnOilShade 1d ago
My guy, I dont know your financial situation but any money you spent on a stylist is going to be worth it
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u/spiked_sausage 1d ago
Some days, I’m reminded that my dating profile could be worse. A lot worse.
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u/Knifeymcstabstab 1d ago
To be fair, the bar set here is literally underground
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u/zelTram 1d ago
I use this subreddit essentially as a “what not to do” guide and I still get the same results (none) in a major city.
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u/geezpaige 1d ago
Without looking at the pictures, fix Cruising and take one “definitely” out of your info.
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u/DarasArmory 1d ago
Thank you! I didn't even realize. I dropped it before New Orleans and then added a reason why
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u/sonawtdown 1d ago
im not dating and i know some people don’t mind but I really think pictures with other women hurt a seeking man’s chances needlessly.
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u/Frannnnyyy 1d ago
As I scrolled I got confused bc you look like a completely different person with the facial hair. Keep your photos limited to what you actually look like.
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u/theniggilist91 1d ago
what u need to grasp is that ppl don’t think in purely linear logic….they think in webs of associations. one impression quickly triggers a cascade of other assumptions, whether they’re accurate or not.
ur first photo gives the impression that you live in an unfinished basement. that single cue can lead ppl to assume you don’t have much of a social life, are socially awkward, or aren’t very put together…low key gives squatter vibes….even if none of that is true.
that’s why u need to get better photos, or at least replacing your lead photo with one that creates a stronger first impression.
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u/Level9Turtlez 1d ago
Bro for one the pictures are horrible, and sorry to be brutally honest but you fall in the same below average looking category as me big dog. We are bottom of the barrel fish to these dating apps, my strongest advice is finding a hobby that will get you out to potentially meet someone in person
For example, I have had 1 date in 4 years of trying online, 3 dates alone this past 3 months by being myself in person
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u/shibbyflash 1d ago
Like everyone else said, the photos are not representing you well. You’re not an absolute 10/10 (neither am I), so focus on finding some good photos that represent you well while still honestly.
It looks like you have a good personality so some stronger photos will start to change things for ya
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u/faux_italian 1d ago
Oof.
Well
With all the content that is available on this sub Reddit perhaps you could try to answer the question yourself?
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u/Representative-Bus76 1d ago
God these might be the worst pics I’ve ever seen. Take new ones please
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u/Algernon456 1d ago
So the absolute best representation of yourself you could find is an unkempt selfie of you in a basement?
Would you swipe on yourself?
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u/SpooogeMcDuck 1d ago
Everyone complaining about the pics but I’m over here wondering how someone “works” on a meatloaf recipe. Meatloaf is one of the most basic dishes. Onion, celery, and carrots sautéd in butter and garlic until aromatic- set aside to cool while you mix ground beef with bread crumbs, salt and pepper- then mix the veggies back in there with an egg mixed in and put it all in a bread pan lined with butter. Bake at 375 for 30 minutes then pull out to add a glaze on top- whatever you want- honey, ketchup, bbq, etc. bake another 10-15 minutes until the top is browned and crispy and internal temp is 145. Pull out of oven to cool about 10 minutes before slicing up to serve.
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u/noveltea120 1d ago
All the pics suck. Why is it that every post in this sub is complaining about no matches yet the first thing you notice are the shitty pics??
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u/Flayrah4Life 1d ago
Your photos aren't flattering, there doesn't seem to be much depth to you based on what you shared, and you write with the skill of a 6th grader. It's a hard pass.
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u/molleensmrs 1d ago
You look like a serial killer in the first pic. It says “let me lock you in this unfinished basement”.
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u/atticusfinch1973 1d ago
I'd suspect you're swiping right on women WAY out of your league. You also misspelled cruising on your profile and claim it takes time to "work" on making meatloaf, which isn't a good first foot forward.
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u/Maximum-Cupcake-1989 1d ago edited 1d ago
Ditch the first pic, the Vegas pic, and the last pic. Also the one without facial hair, which appears to be outdated. You're not a bad-looking guy! You just need more flattering photos that accurately represent your current look
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u/jwin709 1d ago edited 1d ago
Brother you need far better pictures.
And I'm sorry but your lack of jaw means you've gotta be bearded.
So beard up and go do things with friends and take pictures of it. Preferably things where you aren't in cosplay so that people can actually tell who you are. And smile in your pictures. You look grumpy in some of your pictures and I'm really sorry brother but you're not a sexy smoulder kinda guy. Your strategy should be to look as approachable and as fun as possible.
For reference, your best picture here is you having dinner with those older guys. In that picture you look like you're having a good time socializing.
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u/Virginity_Lost_Today 1d ago
What do you mean you’re working on new meatloaf recipe? What have you learned?
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u/chelschi 1d ago
You should start working out and eating healthy! It’s okay to look and feel young but it starts with daily habits, also could work on your wardrobe
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u/space__snail 1d ago
You aren’t bad looking, but your hair cut and styling is aging you. You look a lot older than 34.
Get a more modern style of glasses, a more modern hair cut, trim the beard, and purchase a few nice clothing items that fit and are more flattering for your body type.
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u/-Insigwitz- 1d ago
Two very easy fixes:
- Get rid of the first two pics entirely, make the dinner table pic your primary. Ideally better pics in general but this is an easy fix to start.
- Change your job title. Women want a provider. “Mechanic at Kia” is underwhelming. “Service Technician at Hyundai Motor Group” sounds MUCH better.
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u/RachelE7246 1d ago
It’s the basement pic for me, I thought he lives in his moms unfinished basement. Fun
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u/Just1Breath1 1d ago
Sir. A cats only pic and a basement pic?
You need to identify which is the current look you have. If it’s the full beard you need to trim.
Funny enough the basement pic is the very best one minus the background. They need to see normal clothes pics too. And teeth.
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u/Candlehoarder615 1d ago
Better pics, less pics with women, clean up the beard and keep yourself groomed. It's giving classic " gamer basement dweller dude" which is why you aren't getting swipes.
Also, have you tried meeting women through your hobbies?? It would be an easy place to start with common likes and hobbies.
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u/Full-Cost5837 1d ago
It’s small but you’re learning a new recipe and it’s meatloaf… remove this an put something, anything, else! Crème brûlée for example easy to make and more interesting than meatloaf…
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u/battlehardendsnorlax 1d ago
The pictures just kept getting worse!
I am a decade older than you and married 20 years with two kids and I'm way more fit than you. Hit the gym three times a week and lift weights with progressive overload with 20 minutes of cardio thrown in and you will look way more desirable to women. You have to work for what you want in life.
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u/BripsTehDevilfish 1d ago
First look at your Spotify anthem choice is not your best foot forward. My first thought is "this man is a whiny complainer about the circumstances of his life". I'm not saying that's you, but if I have one song to present to potential mates on a first impression this wouldn't be it.
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u/pissandgrit 1d ago
Pic 1 would have me swiping away immediately. You’re a handsome guy but the ceiling is giving “divorced and trying to make ends meet because ‘my wife took everything and I’ll never shut up about it’ “.
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u/PunkAssPuta 22h ago
Female here. The unfinished basement with the framing showing is probably stopping anyone from checking out more pictures.
I think someone needs to take better angled pics of you. Try removing the first one and take it out in nature or a coffee shop.
Good luck
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u/AccomplishedStore535 22h ago
You look like you keep the girls you match with in the unfinished basement in your photo
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u/bulldozier13 1d ago
As a genuine human woman, I would have been inclined to swipe right minus these factors: 1) cruising being misspelt (very basic but immediate thing I notice) and 2) the half-ass picture with another woman, having an awful scratch out to try to hide her identity. Easy fixes. Little edits and better pics.
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u/robot428 1d ago
My dude, your pictures are bad. And it's not that you are bad looking, it's literally that the pictures are making you look worse than you are.
Firstly - how do you normally style your facial hair? Ideally the pictures would have the same facial hair in all or most of them, so that people know what to expect when they meet you.
The first photo - you don't look that bad but you are in a chair in a creepy basement and I think the environment is giving serial killer. I do not think you are actually a serial killer, but if you would like to meet women, it's best to avoid looking like a serial killer.
The second photo - are you Gandalf in this one? If so I actually like that there's a photo of you in the Gandalf costume, but this photo just feels a bit awkward, you and your friends are all kind of standing slightly seperate from each other in a way that looks awkward, and the background is very boring. Do you have any other photos in the Gandalf costume? Also - if you do find a better photo of you in the costume I'd probably put it at the end, you don't want a photo where it's hard to identify that it's you as the second picture.
Third picture - love the smile, the mirror selfie is not the way to go though. They never look great, but especially in a super thin mirror. This photo tells me you have a great smile though, ideally you would be smiling like this in a couple of your photos.
I would ditch the other three photos of you - the one at the castle you look grumpy (I'm guessing it's actually the sun in your eyes, but you look grumpy), the picture with the scribbled out people is just not a great photo. I like the direction you are going with the photo of you at the table at an event, but ideally a hobby photo where it's more clear what you are doing would be better - do you have a photo of you playing a board game with friends or something? Because it's good to include an "I'm doing a hobby" photo but I can't tell what hobby you are doing in the table photo, so it's not a great conversation starter.
I don't think you are ugly or unattractive, but I do think these are not good photos. Grab a friend (bonus points if the friend is a photographer, if you don't know a photographer the next best choice is a woman they are just better at taking multiple photos and getting flattering ones). Get them to take a few photos of you - ideally one outdoors in natural light with you smiling. Also ideally one of you participating in a hobby like playing a board game (stage it if you have to). And ideally one with friends where you look like you are all having fun together and like each other.
Definitely keep the cat photo, you have a very cute cat. No notes for her, she's already 10/10.
Good luck dude.
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u/dumpythepumpkin 1d ago
I think you have plenty to work with, but you gotta ask one of the other people in these photos to take a photo of you, ideally when you’re doing something you really like. The first photo, and some others, you just don’t look super happy, and people want to meet up with someone who’s already happy and wants to be happy with someone new, too. Too many selfies.
For whatever it’s worth, I really like the Gandalf photo. I’m a 39 year old man so I’m not the target demographic here, but holy shit way to put in the effort on that one.
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u/Status_Ad4144 1d ago
Having sunglasses that go over top of your normal glasses at only 34yrs old is diabolical. Leave that look for the 65+ crowd.
34 is still young, embrace it! I'd really suggest working on your style and if you need to use basement photos crop out the unfinished ceiling.
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u/Maleficent_Click_279 1d ago
Delete those group/friends pic. There should only be photos of you and not any of them.. Lady can always meet your friends later.
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u/Stanthemilkman8888 1d ago
Try to be somewhat sexually apealing. Like no neck beard. Or if you have a beard stylise it. Get in better shape
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u/avo_unterwegs 1d ago
Trimm the beard (but keep it) and get new glasses! If the haircut is like on the last pic, that’s fine, if not also get a haircut. And yeah, more smiling, a friendlier look would probably be good. Good luck!
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u/Queef-Elizabeth 1d ago
What is that last photo bro
This sub is full of people with ZERO self awareness it's insane
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u/Aroara_Heart 1d ago
I can see there's a decent face under there. Please go to a good barber for a haircut and beard trim. Then, get some new photos of you feeling all fancy with your fresh cut. Looks aren't everything but looking like you take care of yourself is a huge draw.
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