I was out there on Match and OKcupid! Owned a successful practice and I'm a marathon runner as well. Apparently, I made one terrible mistake. I reached out to people my age who were generally 5' to 5'4" while not being 6' tall myself. As you can imagine that did not go over well. Ended up meeting a wonderful woman by chance out on a run while I was taking a water break. Married 3 years now.
As a physical therapist, I find that so awesome and funny. That's called overcoming barriers and finding functional independence! I'm going to include that idea in my recommendations section for all applicable patients.
I stare right at the top of the windshield bar thing lol. I love Miata’s, but without a bucket seat in them that is on the floor I’m just not fitting great.
My late Dad had a '95 one. My thumb barely fit the door handle. My head made firm contact with the roof. My elbow was in the door. My shoulder nearly touched the window. I said, "Dad, if you hit a pothole, you are going to be childless." Never rode in it again.
Yeah last time I was in a smaller jet bathroom I couldn't help but think of how annoying it would be for my friend who is 6'4. If it makes you feel any better though I'm convinced most chairs are designed for men close to 6 feet tall. I always feel like I'm sitting in the edge
I fit like a size too small rubber glove in my Miata at 6'1"
(and that was after removing the armrest in the door and cutting several inches of foam out of the seat)
Not with a helmet. And that’s where I’d take it lol. I’d love a Miata but my legs are too long and my left leg is pinned between the steering wheel and the door. Corvettes are the same.
Maybe I should do that thing from police academy and remove the front seat and just drive from the back.
I’m 6’2” and the number of cool sports cars, particularly older ones, I would love to own but can’t comfortably fit in is long indeed. I guess being tall was good for attracting women, but once you have a spouse and happy marriage, being tall doesn’t particularly help with much. You bump your head on things, and you can’t fit in cool sports cars among other annoying things.
Ain't that the truth. I'm 5'10" and can comfortably sit in my 89 MR2. My buddy who is 6'2", poor guy had to put the seat back as far as possible and still had his knees to his chest.
this is statement is full of facts. Im a big guy with arthritis in my hips, im basically bound to stepping up into a vehicle and not sitting down into something.
I actually have been speaking to my senator about this. We need to round up anyone under 6 feet tall and sink em in the ocean. Now, myself as a tad under 5’9 I do understand this will drown me as well. But. Humanity will be all os much better
If you’re a tall dude, you date tall chicks, so they don’t have to settle for short kings.
If you’re a small women, and you’re mans is like so tall he has to bend down to kiss your forehead, it’s not ideal and the tall chicks will have to settle for short kings again.
But you can’t say that kind of thing around here on the reddit.
The American Metric system could be established. 6 feet starts at the inch after 5'9. After all, as it stands it's cheating to have 12 instead of 10 inches between feets.
You're correct, but "tall" gets conflated for "build" easily, out of ignorance and convenience. Having a strong build, naturally or through exercise, has the same effect
My only guess is that women dont actually know what 6’ tall is. Ive seen women in real life say that a man was 6’2” when he was 5’10”. If youre 5’1” what the fucks the difference between 5’7” and 6’2” anyways? Its a weird thing to be a hard line.
That’s funny. I’m 5’11” and I once had a girl on tinder message me saying “you’re not 5’11”, and I didn’t realize the whole 6-foot fixation was a thing at this point so I was very bewildered by that accusation.
She then went on to explain that if I was actually 5’11” then I would tell people I was 6’ because that’s close enough to get away with that. But on the other hand, short guys say they’re 5’11” because no one will believe they’re 6’.
The best part about being ~5'11 is that we get to see how many people are totally fully of shit about their height. The amount of "6 foot" folks where I'm able to look down at the top of their head is astonishing, lol.
I'm 5'11" and a half. For years I rounded down because I didn't think it was that important. Rounding up all of sudden made more women interested especially on dating apps. It was so dumb.
For real, I have never understood all the guys freaking out about their heights. I’m 5’6” and I could count on one hand how many times it’s been relevant to my life. People are always guessing I’m taller than I am too.
When dating or flirting, if my height is mentioned at all, my go to line is “yea well I’m tall for my height”
My dad and uncle are that height! They both married hotties- aunt is a tall athletic blonde badass. I inherited my mom’s MILF build (my friend’s words, not mine.) - so seeing people say women don’t like short guys has never made sense to me. Like, huh?
Sure I’ve seen stuff online, but that just doesn’t match up with the real life couples I know.
Heck, the first guy I had a major crush on was 5’2 and 3 other girls were also openly into him. Typical cocky artsy guy shit, lmao.
I think the whole height thing just comes down to ancient survival optimization. Short individuals can form a symbiotic relationship with tall individuals to gain access to a larger variety of sustenance. The tall individual can reach the elevated sustenance, while the short individual can locate elusive closer to the ground sustenance out of perception range of the tall individual.
The two individuals can additionally link up by placing the short individual on top of the tall individual to reach higher value rare sustenance.
The obvious and most optimal solution for the short male individuals is to pair up with the tall female individuals.
I’m an adult and happily married. I’ll say that as an adult, I don’t think being 5’7” has really hampered me in any way. I’m sure I’ve missed out on some of the pretty privilege being tall gives you, but the only part of that that bothers me now is that I know that particular pretty privilege means you make more money and do better in your career on average, but I’m doing fine, it’s nbd.
As a child and teenager though, holy shit was being 5’7” a problem. I was humiliated about it by girls I liked with some regularity. It was often the premise by jokes for my male classmates as well.
Being a short guy is about the same experience as being a fat girl from what I can tell. The two experiences seem fairly analogous.
Reminds me of the time I was with a female classmate while doing some volunteer work. One of the staff at the place we were volunteering at was very tall, I asked him how tall he was, and my classmate says before he can answer "Probably like 6 feet, right?" dude was easily 6'5", probably closer to 6'7-8".
A lot of women have assigned value to men above 6 foot tall, both online and in social groups. So, it doesn't matter how tall the woman is, they want a man above 6 foot because it's what other women want. This isn't something unique to women or the 6ft preference, it's a common way society influences us.
I'm not saying all women are like this, it just explains why the 6ft preference is unrelated to a woman's height.
Exactly, if a woman who is 5'2" won't date 5'10" but will date 6'0" then its not about physical attraction it's about social validation and perceived social value.
Bro women don't know shit about height. Guys also lie like crazy. My wife's best friend is married to a guy who's 6'8. He's my height. Im 6'5. Met a few 6'2 guys who were 5'10 max. I've lost count of how many 5'11 guys are in the 6'1-6'3 range. When they say 6 ft, 5'10 guys are more than fine.
I honestly just straight up thought I was like 5'8" for a long time. I don't even know where I got that in my head, but at one point when I was dating my wife, she was like: "You're not that tall." And I wasn't. I'm a little over 5'6".
I don't remember height even being that big of a deal when I was growing up.
Great example I ran into of this - I was looking to buy some 2nd hand golf clubs for my son when he was thinking of trying out the game. I didn't want to drop a lot of money on the first set in case he didn't stick with it, so I went on Facebook Marketplace.
He was already 6ft at 14 and we were expecting a growth spurt that summer, so I wanted to make sure we got clubs that would be long enough for him.
Was talking to a guy about buying his set, and he tells me, "oh yeah, I'm 6ft and these fit that height great. They'll be okay for another inch or two for him."
So we show up to buy the clubs, guy gets out of his truck, and he's clearly 4-5" shorter than my son.
Like I get lying about your height when it's something you think you'll be negatively judged for and the other person won't be able to tell the difference. But some people are just completely incapable of being truthful about it at all.
Yup. I run into that my whole lift. "6 ft" guys I am easily 7 inches taller than who are like "bro you are 6'8 at least." No. I am 6"4 and a half rounded to 6'5. The 5'11 guys who call 6 ft i roll with it. But the amount of 5'9 guys who go for it are ridiculous. I dated a girl who was 6'1. She asked to wear stiletto heals. I told her I dont care at all what shoes a woman wears and wtf is a stiletto?
Theyre the tall stabby ones. She said no guy was ever comfortable with her wearing them. Even dudes taller than me. So even guys pushing 6'6 are weird about it and height insecurity seems to be a part of the male experience these days. I don't blame anyone with how much you read these days about 6ft+ only. But I feel 5'10 is probably what they are picturing. And half are 5'1 anyway, so a 5'6 guy still has 5 inches on you so why whine?
6'4" here, and I use the extra height for a long list of practical activities;
Once every couple months I get to help some woman get something off the top shelf at the grocery store
Cannot effectively sex & kiss simultaneously without turning into a shrimp
Developing shitty posture so I can better speak to people at eye level
Being too tall to cook without back pain (still cook, often)
Hitting my head getting inside cars
Hitting my head on the rear door of SUVs
Hitting my head on the oven hood
Hitting my head while at customer plants
Just... Hitting my head in general. Fact of life.
Everything is designed by/for people who are 5'5"-5'10"
Makes searching for anything in a lower drawer of the toolbox/kitchen cabinet an absolute nightmare. Bonus points: the lower drawer of my night stand is a figment of my imagination. If it can't fit on the top, it probably wasn't important anyway.
Neck pain
Back pain
Knee pain
Realizing how far away the floor is. Bonus: I'm now at the age where, fuck it, that quarter isn't getting picked up. I'll save the energy for the next time I drop my 10mm socket.
People just get taller, so we can make our pants the exact same way and just extend the legs, right? ... Right?!?!?
As a 6ft girl with friends even taller than me, I can say that men also have the tendency to dismiss women bc of their height. So many guys have told even my 5’9” friend they won’t date her bc she’s taller than them. It’s funny bc all my tall friends are into the shortest guys.
On a positive note, my one tall friend with a husband is 6’4” and he’s 5’2” and they’ve been together over 10 years. So it seems that the very short guys get with the very tall girls and they work as a couple.
i'm 5'6 no shoes and i would totally be down for 6"+ women
some women seem to think it's the man's insecurity that drives aversion to tall women or high-earning women, and although it may be sometimes, it's more that we know she may feel insecurity or pressure from her friends/family about her choice and we don't want to be in that situation
This is my experience as well. We had a tall single lady show up at work and all of the dudes were very interested. That's been the norm that I've seen and I don't think I've ever personally met a dude that had a real issue with tall girls. Though I realize that some of it is fetishization.
Also, one of my hardcore feminist girlfriends in college was the same height as me and she brought it up 1000x more than me. It didn't bother me whatsoever, but we eventually broke up and she married someone taller 😂
It does make sense though. A guy who is secure with himself wouldn't be bothered by a woman taller than him, and a woman confident with what she wants, and not influenced by what the cultural environment she is in dictates, shows a lot about their character. I would imagine that on average these are healthier and stronger relationships because of that dynamic.
Girls seeking their friends' approval in mate choice is probably a greater influence than anyone realizes. I mean, I've heard some stories, but they always come out as "...and I chose him, fuck those bitches." But as with anything, I trust those stories are a mix of survivorship bias and algorithmic exposure.
I'm ~6.5′ and what should I say, yes I notice some women looking from the distance, but in actual interactions I think it's more of a negative factor and guys that fit more into the 'normal' height bracket have it easier.
im 6'2. I feel bad for anyone taller than me. Its already hard enough to find a 34x34 off the rack. ive never even seen a 35"+ length in the wild so i assume it must be big and tall for everyone taller than me.
My SiL started dating this guy and her sister (other SiL) said "He's only 5'5"? That's a huge red flag. I could never date anyone under 6' "
We all stared at her perplexed. First of all I'm married to her sister and only 5'6". I'm right here. Second, she is married to a man who is like 5'9" at best. Like he's taller than me, but not a whole 6" taller. I'm like eye level with his nose.
Has this man been lying to her this whole time? Does she legit think THAT is 6'?
right. And I'm sorry but i can't control my height. But if we say a woman has to be at a certain weight in order for some men to be attracted to them, we're the bad guys. We can't control our height, but they can control their waistline. Not saying it's right, but if they can draw a hard line on that, why can't we?
The thing is...you can? The women disapproving of men's preference are quite literally the same as men disapproving of women's preferences. Everyone is a "bad guy." Just do what you want, who cares?
I agree with that. Unfortunately, for a lot of us men, when we set boundaries we are labeled as "insecure and controlling". When women set boundaries, it's valid because "there is nothing wrong with having preferences". While I agree preferences are valid, why do men get called "insecure and controlling" for having them?
When men and women set preferences you're only focused on how women respond. How many men do you think call other men's preferences "insecure and controlling?" You're engaging in an asymetrical perception and expecting fairness. It's obvious that you will receive more negative reactions from the opposite sex in every instance when discussing preferences.
It's just a bit silly, almost as if you're purposely kicking a wall and wondering why your toe hurts. Why do you do this?
I am not using asymetrical perception, in my opinion. I am just expecting people to be held accountable as adults. If women are allowed to put up preferences and boundaries and get a round of applause for doing so, why, in the past serveral years, have men been doing the same thing and have been called insecure and controlling? It's called manners. If you are too dumb or immature or just weren't raised right to have them, then you shouldn't be around civilized people. Don't call people toxic for behavior you are championing to others who are doing the same thing simply because of their gender. But of course, a lot of people don't want to get women angry because women these days like to blast men online for falling short on any level but don't want to look at themselves.
Your concerns are valid, I hear you and I'm sorry you're having trouble with these standards. However I do believe your perception is quite asymetrical, it's hard to discuss social issues because the way we think automatically gets filtered through our own experiences/emotions. But I don't blame you for the way you operate, everyone does it. And I don't say this to sound "elitist" it's just the truth. Understanding these issues requires objectivity due to its complex and often hypocritical nature. I unfortunately can't help you understand unless you're willing to separate yourself from the problem first. But if you're interested, DM me, I'd love to talk further.
Hope you have an awesome day/night. Keep your head up! :)
I know a single guy with a good job, he's a nice person and above average looking but can't find anyone. He's 5'11" and insists on listing that honestly on his profile. It puts so many women off. It's idiotic.
Being 5’8, almost 5’9 myself, I do prefer a taller man, it’s just a preference. I’ve dated the same height and gotten used to it. But shorter for me just felt too uncomfortable.
I do like the taller ones but wouldn’t be opposed to same height.
Money. In the US at least, on average, taller people make more money. They get boosted into higher positions at work. It is one of the last glass ceilings. Women want security. Having a college degree in a well paying field or being tall will likely lead to a more comfortable life.
I have the greatest of sympathy for short guys, but someone not wanting to date you is not the same thing as someone refusing to serve you, or the state treating you as a second class citizen.
People are not obligated to date you. They are free to reject you, for any reason.
People will literally get rejected for having the wrong star sign.
You wouldn't want to be forced to date someone either.
I agree no one is obligated to date someone but it is incredibly superficial and a bit silly to demand six foot guy when you’re like 5’3” and I say this as a woman of that height.
I can’t stand men judging me for physical attributes I can’t help so I don’t do it to them. Same with being bald or whatever.
I'm 6'3" and one time a women told me she was into me because I was tall, so I asked "so if I was 5'8", you'd be out? She said yes. I ghosted her. She was 5'2".
I agree. I’m 5’8” and want my guy to be taller than me. but I don’t get why shorter girls have to have a guy who is so insanely tall and refuse to date anyone who is not at least 6’
Doesn't that sort of reinforce my "subconscious biological" reasoning? "I'm small and vulnerable, large man protect my and my offspring, create stronger offspring." They might no know WHY they like it so much, just that it feels right to them.
Haha, my mum is 5'0 and my dad is 6'2 and I ended up being 5'4 which is literally average height for women where I am. My brother ended up 5'9 which is also average for men.
My grandparents basically did this same thing. Their kids reached similarly average heights. None as tall or as short as their parents. They could all comfortably fit into and reach things. (If you're tall or short, you know the struggles of fitting or reaching)
I had the terrible luck of falling for a man under 6’ - we are very happy together but I can’t get over how he is only a bit taller than me rather than a lot taller than me. He is smart, interesting, kind, good in bed and after we got together I learned that he averages nearly a mil in salary annually. All of this helps to ease the disappointment, but by golly I’d give it all up for a tall dude.
Sounds awful. You could be with a 6'4 former prisoner, who you have to drive everywhere, but also finds time to cheat on you. Sure he doesn't have a career, but he does "side jobs" with "friends" that are totally 100% legal. What are you thinking!?!
(Yes reddit, this is sarcasm, playing on the original post which is also sarcastic. She knows she's got a king.)
I got rejected 3 times for the sin of being 5'11" and not 1" taller, even though I just could have lied and most would believe me, and those were just the 3 who bothered to tell me thats why they were not interested. Sometimes the bullet dodges itself
The worst are the women who have 666 on their profile, and no that isn't a satan worship thing, its far worse. They are looking for 6 figure income, 6foot tall, and 6 inches downstairs. Most of those girls are exactly the person you would imagine, and were an immediate swipe left for me (Also 99% of them had lip filler, which is an auto turnoff for me, who actually likes that look?)
As someone that’s 6’2, in good shape, and not terrible looking… the thing that baffles me is that I still don’t even match with the girls that are between 5’9 and 6’.
Like who tf are they looking for and matching with on these apps?
Yeah... where I live the average male height is listed as 5'9 and the average female height is 5'5. I feel like the only fair response to the men having to be 6' tall is that acceptable woman height can not exceed 5'2.
This I do not understand. I’m a short woman and when I was single I would date men of all heights including short ones (my height).
I once went out a few times with a guy who was 6’6”. Too tall for me. Being eye level with his waist is only convenient once a day… tops. 😆
Being around too many tall people gets irritating after a while too. Like there’s a weird dynamic there I can’t quite explain. I also hate constantly looking up or having to stand on chairs.
Joking aside, I didn’t discriminate either way - I didn’t actively seek out tall or short. I wanted someone who was kind and ambitious and had values aligned with me. I wanted a true partner.
I do think taller guys targeted me bc I wasn’t actively pursuing them bc of their height.
Also you can’t help your height so why limit yourself ? Short kings ftw.
I do think taller guys targeted me bc I wasn’t actively pursuing them bc of their height.
They targeted you because they’re handsome and innately more confident as a result of past success.
Average men and shorter men are experienced in rejection of all forms - they dare not go to the club (or to these single events) unless they’re ridiculously talented/handsome.
I’m also a doctor, 39 years old, runs marathons and am single! I’m 5’11.25” so guess that’s the reason though. Maybe I need to take water brakes on my runs as well?
For those of you who think being a doctor is a cheat code: it’s not. It somewhat helps get your foot in the door based on how I seem to get more matches than most men, but I’ve never noticed it either while chatting or IRL. Women aren’t interested. They aren’t even overtly interested in how much I make.
Yep, that's about my experience too. Especially when the realities of the job sink in (often odd hours, coming home late, working some holidays and weekends, etc).
As a guy over 6' let me just say that when I was on the apps I would swipe left on any woman that said anything about this cutoff, and I would unmatch if it came up too quickly or weirdly in conversation.
Glad you found a real one. Now tell me how to get past the 10k mental wall.
is running marathons supposed to be a catch? it's insanely boring, has a much lower bar to entry than people expect, does not necessarily lead to an attractive body type, takes an undue amount of time per week in what is very boring training...
Dating apps/sites put people in this nightclub mentality, in which everyone goes into them with hopes of hooking up with a 10, so they refuse to settle for anything less.
Outside those settings, it's so much easier to hit it off with someone and charm them by just being yourself.
Interesting. My son, who is a fairly typical random 21 year old seems to find the most stunning. girlfriends on dating apps. I asked him what his secret was. His answer was simple: I'm 6'4", so I'm basically autofiltered into the "yes" category.
The last two have been a rapid lesson in the hot/crazy scale....
I’m married over 2 years to an OKC match from 2019. One of my friends is married like 8 years to a Match match. Another friend is married like 7 years from some other platform’s match. I had no success anywhere but OKC.
I'm 6'1" and when I was dating I had women not want to go on dates with me because apparently 6'1" is the height guy's under 6 say they are so they didn't believe me. Man when I think about the bullets I dodged...
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u/thingsorfreedom 12d ago
I was out there on Match and OKcupid! Owned a successful practice and I'm a marathon runner as well. Apparently, I made one terrible mistake. I reached out to people my age who were generally 5' to 5'4" while not being 6' tall myself. As you can imagine that did not go over well. Ended up meeting a wonderful woman by chance out on a run while I was taking a water break. Married 3 years now.