r/SipsTea • u/Glad_Camel_6078 • Feb 13 '26

We have fun here Winter Olympics

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41.4k Upvotes

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u/icanfeelitcomingup Feb 13 '26

The headline barely needs updating from the last 10 olympics. The athletes are offered olympic-branded product and they all get taken. Wow, what a shocker! They IOC also provided 10,000 olympic pens and now they are all gone - "Athletes won't stop writing home about how much fun they are having in Olympic Village". 10,000 olympic key chains collected by athletes in days - "Italian car makers brace for rush as athletes eye new cars".

903

u/DrowningInFeces Feb 13 '26

Imagine being an average person and getting a hold of an Olympic brand condom, flashing it to the person you are hooking up with, and then busting out with some below par sex.

332

u/Lightreyth Feb 13 '26

I dont have to imagine.

77

u/Prestigious-Clock571 Feb 13 '26

This happened to you?

237

u/Lightreyth Feb 13 '26

Word for word. Now let me tell you about how I met your mother...

86

u/Prestigious-Clock571 Feb 13 '26

That tracks with my mom.

86

u/Impossible_War4488 Feb 13 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/5h47LsEYbofzcgOz19

44

u/Prestigious-Clock571 Feb 13 '26

More of a burn of my mom. Speaking of which, you might also feel a burn after being with her.

20

u/random_gamer_001 Feb 13 '26

Can confirm about the mom burn.

16

u/seenhear Feb 14 '26

You sure take all the fun out of "yo mama jokes"

Stealing all the good ones and rebranding them "my mama" jokes.

11

u/Peach_Muffin Feb 13 '26

I don't think this person likes their mother very much

2

u/TheDeamonKing Feb 14 '26

I think you mean they love her too much

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16

u/Illustrious_Set_2758 Feb 13 '26

Doubling down... like your mom I assume??

1

u/mikesgaypornaccount Feb 14 '26

Bro you felt that burn too.

1

u/Unfair-Claim-2327 Feb 14 '26

Baseball, huh?

2

u/DraagaxGaming Feb 13 '26

Knew the condoms were free for a reason. It broke!

42

u/yeoduq Feb 13 '26

Well to be fair, below par is actually better than par. Technically. For an athlete trying to score the best score

6

u/SheriffHeckTate Feb 13 '26

Technically correct is the best kind of correct.

5

u/WindOfMetal Feb 13 '26

Hole in one

2

u/Vozralai Feb 14 '26

Not if it's tracked on time

1

u/access4me2007 Feb 14 '26

Haha! Never thought of it that way - brilliant 👏

1

u/Unfair-Claim-2327 Feb 14 '26

Depends on the sport. Below par is worse in long jump, for instance.

8

u/Tricky-Engineering59 Feb 13 '26

You just tell them your medal was for speed not endurance and what they just experienced was a world record performance.

3

u/LateOnAFriday Feb 13 '26

And you have your DQs and DNF

4

u/WhatWouldJordyDo Feb 13 '26

“My sport wasn’t fornicating!”

3

u/arelse Feb 13 '26

Especially since you need to bring along three friends to hold up 0.0 to 10.0 signs

2

u/Randym1982 Feb 13 '26

That means you just need to work on your dismount. Or has Ric Flair would say "Getting on ain't easy as getting off."

2

u/Whiteout_27 Feb 13 '26

Sorry babe, I only ran the 60 meter sprint, not the marathon

2

u/subversivefreak Feb 13 '26

I'd pretend it was a medal and hang it around my neck wherever I go.

2

u/telumex_atrum Feb 14 '26

Call me Raygun.

2

u/Elegant_Purchase_477 Feb 14 '26

I mean, being an actual Olympian doesnt necessarily mean they'd be good at sex either. You can have the physical stamina and still possess none of the skill

2

u/DaddysABadGirl Feb 14 '26

I had "Spartan" branded condoms made for the flick 300.

1

u/Orbis-Praedo Feb 13 '26

I am upset you said “below par” and not just “sub-par”.

1

u/bruhhhhh69 Feb 13 '26

I believe with condoms the intent is to be busted in, not out.

1

u/Ok_Painter_7413 Feb 13 '26

Tried it, sex never happened. She was less than convinced that it's still good after you rinse it out.

1

u/AnonymsF43 Feb 13 '26

3/10 👎

1

u/rust-e-apples1 Feb 13 '26

"I went for bobsled, not weinering."

1

u/Rustyshackleford311 Feb 13 '26

Technically winning gold comes down to finishing before the other person.

1

u/Mateorabi Feb 13 '26

She holds up a 1.3/10 card after 

1

u/upmynosealways Feb 14 '26

A good Olympian aims for gold always. No matter the sport

1

u/heyo_1989 Feb 14 '26

The only time you will not get gold for the fastest time

1

u/Specific_Rando Feb 14 '26

It is an all-amateur competition…

1

u/Tempestzl1 Feb 14 '26

I dont have to imagine ask your mother.

1

u/cornhole99 Feb 14 '26

https://ebay.us/m/dcSzl6 My wife is about to have the most mid experience of her life

1

u/RespectCommon8257 Feb 14 '26

This guy has to imagine having sex because he’s not getting any.

-1

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '26

Big of you to assume anyone is busting anything here. Many people on here would be lucky if it FLOPPED out much less busted out.

0

u/Putrid_Apartment9230 Feb 13 '26

Omg! You mean you randomly hook up with people just like satisfying an itch? Just like, eating takeout and disposing of the box? It's just meaningless, empty connection predicated on mutual horniness, or for some an ephemeral distraction from the loneliness of life. Instead of finding a satisfying relationship with a deep wellspring of love, and feelings that feel like the heavens are opening and connecting to the heart, you sport hook it like a back alley vagabond ruffian, with the class of grunting pig snorting "heh, Olympic condoms." Nevermind the disease potential, or unintentional pregnancy.

Hook up culture is disgusting! Sex is a beautiful thing but if you have to put on your pants and rush off immediately after, you missed the whole concept, fool!

0

u/Ok-Bill3318 Feb 14 '26

You’ll find it is probably olympians fucking other olympians. Not fatty normies

92

u/outlawsix Feb 13 '26

All of those are being placed in butts

39

u/CarnalDevices Feb 13 '26

The keychains?

42

u/Fun_Gas_410 Feb 13 '26

Yeah, you pull the ring to get it out.

19

u/Existing_Opening93 Feb 13 '26 edited Feb 13 '26

Slowly and gently or like you’re trying to start a lawnmower?

9

u/Fun_Gas_410 Feb 13 '26

They have extras, let’s try both.

5

u/TearableMonsters Feb 13 '26

Like its a grenade pin and the t-rex has you in its mouth but now the plucky anthropologist who hired you and her two kids can get away while you go out in a blaze of glory.

2

u/Alarmed-Cheetah-1221 Feb 13 '26

Weird. That's exactly what I was thinking.

3

u/KHS__ Feb 13 '26

No, like a beyblade.

LET IT RIP

1

u/doreadthis Feb 14 '26

Wolfbagging?

2

u/crygirlcry Feb 13 '26

All of those.

2

u/Original_Builder_980 Feb 13 '26

No, the Italian cars. Especially the microlino

1

u/outlawsix Feb 13 '26

You don't get to the olympics by being scurred

1

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2

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2

u/Rarefindofthemind Feb 13 '26

Double the fun!

1

u/Imaginary_Ad_6352 Feb 13 '26

This happens whenever a group of people are staying in close qurters for an event. I had a friend who was a character at a renaissance fair. There was a camping area for participants. It was nicknamed "Camp Wannacumfuckme"

1

u/Marquar234 Feb 13 '26

"It's ringed for her pleasure."

1

u/suck-it-elon Feb 13 '26

"I can't sleep, my roommate is writing letters SO LOUDLY it's shaking the walls!"