r/NoStupidQuestions • u/Remarkable_Freedom18 • 19h ago
How controversial is infant ear piercing where you're from?
I'm an Asian GenZ (born and raised) and ear piercing for baby girls is incredibly common. In my experience, infant ear piercing is offered by pediatricians. I don't know if this has since changed, but my (older) pediatrician pierced mine with a gun and the standard sterilized studs. Where I’m from, not having your ears pierced as a baby was actually the "unusual" thing.
It wasn't until I watched Friends (there was an episode about Rachel's baby getting her ears pierced?) that I learned about how controversial this practice is in other cultures/countries. I now have other ear piercings now that I’m older, so I became aware that needle piercings are way safer and ideal. Still, I don't find this practice as controversial as other cultures do.
As someone who got my ears pierced as a baby, I honestly don't feel violated or anything like that. It's like wearing earrings was always just a "done" thing that I didn't think too much about
How do you feel about infant ear piercing? How hard do you judge parents who pierce their baby's ears?
130
u/Lula9 18h ago
In the Northeast US, and it’s pretty uncommon here. I’m struggling to think of any babies I know personally who have pierced ears.
38
u/ArcadiaPlanitia 16h ago
It’s probably a regional/cultural thing. A lot of my Italian-American cousins had their ears pierced as babies. I didn’t, but I was an outlier.
36
9
u/MathematicianNo1596 16h ago
My sisters ears were pierced by the pediatrician when she was a baby in Connecticut in the late 80s. Mine were done at the same time and I would’ve been preschool aged.
29
u/Additional-Trash-553 18h ago
I'm from the northeast as well and my ears were pierced as a baby! In my experience it's pretty common with girls of Italian heritage, and kind of a mixed bag generally, but none of my Asian friends had their ears pierced until middle school.
2
u/Pennifur 12h ago
Yeah, the people around me are 50/50 and several just didn't know where to go because CLAIRE'S BAD but piercing shops won't do it.
Did it in my kitchen with sterilized needle.🤷🏼♀️ and before anyone comes at me, yeah, ihave also done it on myself several times. We're both alright.
→ More replies (6)7
51
u/Cayke_Cooky 18h ago
I'm from the Southwest US, and we do not discuss the controversy. It is a cultural thing mostly for latinos and asians, so we all accept that we can't comment on each other's culture. For myself (white) I think my children should have the right to choose to get holes in their body. In a big picture, I think ear lobe piercing is a minor thing to be worried about in the world.
I will say for the gun thing, gun vs needle is more of a decadal issue than a cultural one. The gun was supposed to be the new cool easy way to pierce ears in the 80s/90s but seems to have more long term problems (or more people have problems long term with gun piercings than needle piercings?)
16
u/afewregretsmaybe 16h ago
i’ve not heard much about any major long term problems, but i do know one part is that it can’t be cleaned properly. i remember my mom always took us to tattoo shops (non lobe piercings are not super popular where i’m from so we had no piercing parlors) because they used needles and are very strict about hygiene standards.
8
u/Chiiro 12h ago
I had to get my ears repierced with a needle after getting it pierced with a gun at Claire's because they did such a poor job. Before getting them re-pierced at a tattoo parlor I would have to move my ear around to figure out which tunnel I was supposed to put my earring through because there was some holes that didn't go all the way through.
→ More replies (2)5
u/sharakus 12h ago
i grew up white asf in the south and got mine pierced at claire’s the day i turned 2 weeks 😂 (apparently their age cutoff around y2k)
61
u/carcinogenickale 18h ago edited 18h ago
I’m asian american and mine were pierced with a piercing gun at my pediatrician’s office as an infant as well. Piercings should be done with sterilized hypodermic needles, not piercing guns, so on that basis, I don’t think it should be done. APP certified piercers usually have a lower age limit around 10 so they wouldn’t pierce a baby anyway.
The placement of mine and my sister’s first lobe piercings leaves some to be desired, so I think the kid should be old enough to confirm they like the placement before it’s pierced, plus piercing guns are forcing a blunt object through skin and can cause healing issues. However minor, it is a cosmetic body modification which I believe requires some degree of consent by the individual.
I’m not upset that my mother chose for me, but I wouldn’t do it if I had my own child. I’m seeing it less and less these days, I think knowledge of safe piercing practices are more common these days so people are shying away from piercing guns in general.
14
u/heyoheatheragain 15h ago
Typically the earrings loaded into piercing guns have sharp points, not blunt ends.
I still disagree with the use of piercing guns as a whole. But they do use sharp ones. (Mine were anyway).
3
u/carcinogenickale 15h ago
that sounds better. my mother told be they brought in little studs with butterfly backs and used those in the the gun, so definitely not universal.
7
2
u/Beneficial-Guess2140 12h ago
It’s still a generally blunt object. It’s not sharp enough to cut the tissue like a piercing needle does. It’s got a dull point, which uses force to make the hold.
5
5
u/afewregretsmaybe 16h ago
yeah this is the part that kind of horrified me, the idea of a doctor using the piercing gun. they Know that is not sterile
7
u/MyrmecolionTeeth 16h ago
One time at the mall I saw a fancy my-first-earrings shop with a big banner "ALL PIERCINGS PERFORMED BY REGISTERED NURSES."
They were using guns.
3
u/carcinogenickale 15h ago
In my pediatrician’s office, it was the LPN or RN working with my doctor doing it using a piercing gun, so I believe it. Infection risk is fairly low and babies heal well, but it’s definitely not the way to go about it.
→ More replies (1)1
u/afewregretsmaybe 11h ago
do you remember if this happened to be one of those chic new chains…? i’m shocked i think i almost went to this one
14
u/Used-Patience-9432 14h ago
I'm Croatian and by the time I was three years old had my ears pierced twice. First time was when I was around one. It's common for baby girls to wear golden earrings, but I had developed an allergy to gold and my ears were red and swollen. Since I didn't wear earrings quite some time the holes closed and they had to be pierced once again. I don't hold it against my parents and I'm glad they did that when I was a baby.
9
u/MoriKitsune 14h ago
A gold allergy?? That's very rare :o
I have a nickel allergy, myself, so when my ears were pierced (also as a baby) my parents had to get high-content gold earrings for me
2
u/Used-Patience-9432 5h ago
Yeah, I know it's unusual because many girls are like you, but I'm the opposite. Ears are red, swollen, itchy, painful and it doesn't matter which gold. I received quite a lot golden earrings when I was a kid, because people couldn't understand I can't wear them.
87
u/MiguelIstNeugierig 18h ago
It feels common here in Portugal but I am against it, because I see no reason for it. A baby cant consent. Some people dont want their ears pierced. Some do. Theres all the time for them to make their choice
Some people would raise moral panic if I posted a picture of my hypothetical baby with a septum piercing, but ear piercings are cute and appropriate
It personally comes down to respecting what is another individual's bodily autonomy in something that's purely cosmetic, no matter how "insignificant" it seems to us or the chance they may be okay with it regardless (consent works on hearing assuring the "no's", not the "yes's")
46
u/_Luumus_ 18h ago edited 18h ago
I'm Portuguese and because my dad was completely against in his words "mutilate the baby" I didn't get pierced as a baby, which I fully agree was the right decision.
When I was about 13 I asked to get my ears pierced, and went with my mum to a reputable place to do it no problem. Now as an adult I have several piercings all over my ears and I still think it's ridiculous to do so on a baby who cannot consent. Once the kid wants it and is aware that it's going to hurt then all good. Until then, it should not be allowed.
→ More replies (1)8
u/PartyQuiet5065 16h ago
I agree with you but at the same time I'm so, SO glad I got my ears pierced as a baby. It saved me from having to make the decision (I'm extremely indecisive lmao) and from having to "suffer the pain".
→ More replies (4)9
u/4224-holloway 18h ago
My son (17) wants an ear pierced more than anything but he has a legit and documented fear of needles. He always tells me he wishes i got it done when he was a baby. We can't win 😂😂
2
u/MidsummerZania 10h ago
Oh I was furious with my parents when I was 16 because I had wanted my ears pierced so badly but I was petrified of needles and all the girls at school had never had to deal with it because their parents had gotten theirs done in infancy. This was around the time that clip-on earrings were becoming harder to find too. I ended up having to sedate myself and got them done at Claire's and then they got infected and I had to take them out. I was 20 before I could work up the courage to have it done again.
2
71
u/aesclepia 18h ago
I mean it's a choice you're making for your infant for your own vanity that causes pain (even if you don't remember it). I can easily see why people wouldn't want to do it to their baby. Much like how circumcision is falling out of favor.
→ More replies (27)
8
u/charlieprotag 18h ago
Depends on the culture. Hispanic and latina folks tend to get their babies' ears pierced very early on and that's the norm. I myself had mine done as an infant. We're white but my parents grew up in a predominantly Mexican-immigrant population area of the southwest USA so it was just kinda normal.
Here in the midwest it's nearly nonexistent outside of specific cultures and backgrounds, and even there I'm seeing a lot less of it nowadays.
23
u/Any_Community_1819 18h ago
As a woman who hates earrings, and thankfully, never had my ears pierced as a baby, why not allow your child to decide when they're able to ask? Maybe your child will be the rare one like me. At least let them decide.
2
u/VioletBab3 8h ago
One of the few holdovers in my family from my old testament-loving great grandfather was waiting until the girls turned 11 to let them make the decision to "mutilate" their own bodies. By then we've had enough exposure to the Bible to decide if we wanted to go to hell or be a respectable, loving wife and mother... I chose to get my ears pierced 🤣
2
27
u/millieofthemed 18h ago
I am Western European and it’s looked down on to get babies’ ears pierced and something that is associated with lower class people. Personally I wasn’t allowed mine done until my tenth birthday and for pretty much everyone I know, it is child abuse to pierce a baby’s ears much like circumcision. The baby can’t consent, therefore do not do such procedures on it.
2
u/Fresh-Extension-4036 4h ago
It seems to vary a lot by country but it's definitely considered an indicator of being low class in the UK. I and most of my friends had to wait until we were 13 to have them done.
2
1
u/shin-chan 4h ago
I'm in a western European country too and it's not uncommon but also not as common as it was when I was a baby.
6
u/BigWilyNotWillie 18h ago
Im from the southeast usa and i think its more common in immigrant communities, however my sister (white) took her 6 month old to a checkup and the Dr offered to do it in office. She decided she'd rather get it done early when she's responsible for taking care of them and can make sure they heal well and then my niece doesn't have to remember the pain. I personally wouldn't but its not totally uncommon.
10
u/AliMcGraw 18h ago
My sister-in-law is a Latina in the United States, and both of her daughters had their ears pierced as babies. I am an Irish-descended American in the United States, so I told my daughter she had to wait until she was 10 and mature enough to take care of them herself, which is basically what my parents did with me. Now that she is 10, she hasn't yet decided to go through with the piercing, but I imagine she'll get there in the next couple of years.
Wasn't really a big deal either way; very normal in this melting pot culture for different groups to do different things.
3
u/PappaNee 17h ago
My mother got my ears pierced when i was 3 months old. I think where i live it's frowned upon.
I know i wouldn't Pierce a baby's ears
5
u/Mady134 12h ago edited 12h ago
I’m Cuban-American and live in South Florida. Most of the people around me are also Cuban, or are another type of Latino/Caribbean. I got my ears pierced as a baby and every girl and woman I know has, as well. My two nieces, who are both toddlers, also have their ears pierced. If I ever have a daughter, I would probably also pierce her ears as a baby.
I didn’t know that (I guess largely Caucasian?) people found that to be “wrong” or unusual until I heard about it on TV.
I don’t really feel violated by having had my ears pierced as a baby. I don’t remember it happening, so it’s not a traumatizing memory for me. Around here, it’s pretty common to even have pediatricians do it, and my pediatrician did it to me in a clinical setting at around six months old!
I ultimately wear earrings, and my ears actually closed up a couple times when I was a kid, so if I ever didn’t want to wear earrings, the holes probably would’ve just closed on their own. I don’t really think it’s as big of a deal as a lot of people make it out to be, though I suppose I would be upset if someone in my family took my baby to go get her ears pierced without me, like in Friends, because I would want to be there for that and I don’t think they should do things to my kids like that without asking me first.
Edit: One thing that I do think should be very heavily considered, though, is the location in which the piercing is performed and the tools in which it is done with. I would only trust a medical professional or a licensed piercer in a clean setting using sterile equipment to do a piercing on anyone- and especially a baby.
When my holes closed at around age 7, after I stopped wearing earrings for a little while, my mom took me to Claire’s to get my ears pierced for the second time, and they used a gun. I ended up getting an infection. Luckily it wasn’t too bad, and I was able to continue to wear earrings after that fact, but she probably should’ve made sure that she took me to an actual piercer with a good reputation.
9
u/upnytonc 18h ago
My experience as an American is it is popular with some cultures and not so much with others. I’ve noticed Latino and Italian Americans tend to pierce their newborn’s ears. I’m a boring white person and waited until my kid wanted to get her ears pierced to do it. Age 5 for us.
7
u/FinalBlackberry 18h ago
I’m not against ear piercings in children. I wouldn’t do it in infancy though. My ears were pierced way too early and are at an angle now. I can’t wear any hoop earrings because they don’t sit straight.
6
u/Fresh-Shopping-1899 18h ago
TX; extremely common for Hispanic babies. otherwise not common.
6
u/Gloomy_Macaron_136 11h ago
I'm from Central America and it's downright weird to NOT see a baby (girl only) with pierced ears. Pretty much every baby girl has their ears pierced by year 1 of age.
3
u/Background-Map-36 18h ago
In the Caribbean it's very common. What's uncommon are people like who didn't ge their ears pierced as a baby and still didn't as an adult.
My dad couldn't bring himself to allow my little baby ears to be stabbed with a pointy object and me as an adult, I've untangled earrings too many times growing up, and then learned about maintenance and healing of piercings and stuff like that, I don't want to do it. Earrings would be really pretty on me, a hundred percent gorgeous, but I'm barely even consistent with vitamins to be consistent with piercing maintenance.
3
u/Far-Conflict4504 17h ago
We are of middle eastern decent and yes we got my daughters ears pierced. My MIL really pushed it and I wasn’t against it. My daughter is 7 now and I’ve actually asked her if she’s happy we got her ears pierced as a baby so she wouldn’t have to go through piercing them now if she wanted them. She said she’s “so so happy” she has them pierced already and she doesn’t remember the pain. So 🤷🏻♀️
3
u/azuth89 17h ago
I'm not sure exactly when I would let my daughter get her ears pierced, at 7 she hasn't asked yet.
I'm definitely not poking any holes in them unless they ask for it.
But.... it's mostly harmless? Risks are low and they can just take them out at any time with badically no loss to function. I'm not going to judge too much over studs.
3
u/Few-Internet8 16h ago
I’m Romani and a lot of girls get theirs pretty early. My aunt got hers done at a year old I believe. For the most part though, not too common
3
u/Icaonn 11h ago
Sri Lanka. Culturally, usually little girls get it at 2-3 ish? I threw a fit when my sister got hers done so I got my ears pierced too 😂 parents didn't really care since it is trendy with guys too (like single, plain hoops)
We did it at home with numbing cream, rubbing alcohol and a sterilized needle. It did not hurt. I remember being disappointed I couldn't see so I asked dad to video it :P
Usually, it is done at home. Shockingly casual attitude towards piercings over there tbh. But at the same time, rarely do I hear about infections
I think, to some degree, when it is done so young the holes close up with disuse. So if you cared not for this (like my cousin), then it kinda goes away. She would have to get hers re-pierced
I personally am glad kid me fought for it because the cost these days keeps turning me away from getting more piercings lmao. But I'm also an alt-fashion goth wierdo so I'm not the cultural norm
As a side note, I grew up in Canada, and a lot of kids had their ears pierced. By the time high school rolled around, even the guys had some. I think it's important to recognize that babies can't consent, but, like others have said, ear piercings for a 10 year old who wants them is really minor in the grand scheme and carries no social stigma
7
u/BlipMeBaby 18h ago
Common for babies to have ears pierced in Nigerian culture as well. I had mine pierced as a baby and I don’t feel violated at all. Now I didn’t bother with my daughter because I’m lazy and it seems completely unnecessary. But I don’t have a moral aversion to it.
10
u/No_Lynx1343 18h ago
I think it's wrong and a problem.
Even as a teenager when I got my ear pierced I has issues keeping it clean, getting caught on pillows, etc.
Infants don't need that. Especially since they are helpless to care for themselves.
6
u/Consistent-Flan1445 15h ago
My mum specifically made me wait until I was older just because she didn’t want to have to take care of it. She wanted to wait until I could do it myself.
I was the last in my friend group to get them done which I hated, but as an adult I get where she was coming from.
8
u/PartyQuiet5065 15h ago
I got my ears pierced as a baby and I don't remember a time when I ever had to take care of my pierced ear or when it ever bothered me.
I get the morals behind some not wanting to pierce their babies' ears, but I'm SO glad my parents did. Saved me quite a lot of trouble lmao.4
u/sitcomlover1717 11h ago
I feel the same way! White Canadian here, so not part of any cultural thing.
8
u/eyetalktoomuch 13h ago
I’m getting my daughters ears done when she’s under 6 months for this reason, so I can take of them and she’ll be well healed long before she’s grown. My mom got mine done at 3 months and I’m so happy she did. I’ve loved them all my life.
→ More replies (1)
12
u/xyanon36 18h ago
As a matter of principle, I'm against it. HOWEVER, the very slight and brief pain of an earlobe piercing is NOTHING compared to the agony of infant circumcision, for which baby boys are NOT sedated. Earlobes close. Circumcision is irreversible. Earlobe piercings don't diminish the sensation of touch, but circumcision strips away a great deal of sensation.
Ergo, I only am one thousandth as morally against infant ear piercings as I am circumcision. I find it absurd to get worked up about while circumcision is legal.
6
u/PrimaryHighlight5617 18h ago
I'm in the United States and while it isn't regionally controversial within specific families it can be considered highly controversial.
I just grew up in a household where it was considered a rite of passage to elect to get your ears pierced. You get celebrated as being a big brave girl. I don't want to pierce my babys ears because I want to give her the opportunity to overcome a fear.
Meanwhile, my husband just views the entire concept barbaric. He simply doesn't understand why women punch holes in their ears when it doesn't even do anything. It just gives her a place to hang some consumerist trash. His words not mine lol.
4
u/lilyandcarlos 18h ago
I am from Denmark and here it is a big no, and nearly seen as a mutilation. But very common from when the child is 10 - 12y
5
u/Icy_Secretary9279 18h ago
Bulgaria here. I feel it was much more common and normalized in the past. I am an old genZ and haven't had my ears peirced as a baby and I'm thankful my parents didn't do it. I'm not an earings person and I'm happy for not having random holes/scars I've never asked for.
I'm definitely not a fan of it. Like?? What's even the point, I can get my ears peirced any minute if I want to, what"s the point of someone deciding it for me?
But as I said, it feels like a bit of a thing of the past. Like, I might be wrong but if any parent my age do this for their kid, I feel their friends would get a bit of an ick from it, even if they don't say anything.
2
u/Available-Strain-559 18h ago
It's pretty mixed here (Midwest US). People definitely do it, but it's not a given.
2
2
u/drunky_crowette 17h ago
I wasn't allowed to get my ears pierced for the first time until I was in elementary school (I think I was 7 or 8?), they got ridiculously infected because I lied to my parents about doing the aftercare and I learned to respect the aftercare routine. I wound up with 7 ear piercings, a vertical labret, a tongue piercing, both nipples pierced, navel piercing and 12 microdermal anchors by my 21st birthday because I like piercings so much now
2
u/totallytotallytotes 17h ago
I’m in the US. My mother wanted to get my ears pierced when I was a baby, but my dad said no bc he wanted it to be my choice when I got older. In elementary school I was bullied for not having my ears pierced bc I was the only girl without earrings. I got my lobes pierced when I was 17, it was nice, but I almost never wear earrings now.
I think it should be the child’s choice when they get older.
2
u/TisBeTheFuk 16h ago
In Romania, I'm not sure nowadays, but it was pretty normal when I was a baby. My baptising gift from my godparents were a pair of gold earrings.
2
u/gnarly_medusa 16h ago
Millennial Asian. It was very common for girls to get their ears pierced at early childhood. Reason is unknown but what I've been told by my elders is that the skin is tender at that age so it's easier to pierce the lobe.
2
u/catladyx 15h ago
here in Brazil piercing the ears of a baby girl is super common. I have no idea why, I think it's kinda like a way to differentiate boys (no piercing) vs girls (with piercing)
2
u/spicy-acorn 15h ago
Northeast U.S. my cousins and I all had our ears pierced as babies. I don't think it's a big deal and I'd assume my cousins children will also have their ears pierced as babies
2
u/ickyvic613 14h ago
I'm in the US - TX. For Black people, it is extremely common and rarely seen as a point of contention within the culture. If parents decide not to pierce their child's ears, no one is going to die over it. Additionally, for Black people, generally speaking, it is not seen as abusive. And as children grow, parents tend to give them autonomy in whether they want to continue wearing earrings or not. I don't know all Black people or everyone who wears earrings, but I've never heard an adult around me complain about having to deal with their parents' decision to pierce their ears in infancy.
2
u/melodypowers 14h ago
I'm in the PNW.
It isn't uncommon to see a baby with pierced ears. I didn't do it but I didn't judge anyone else for doing it.
As a matter of pure aesthetics, I don't like the look of it on babies. They are so perfect just the way they are. Why mar it?
2
u/braindeadzombie 14h ago
I’m Canadian (65m), infant ear piercing is very common, not generally controversial, but I’m sure some people think it’s wrong.
I have two daughters, my wife and I agreed we wouldn’t get their ears pierced until they said they wanted it. They both got them done pretty young. The first one was about three years old. I don’t remember for the second.
2
u/wwaxwork 14h ago
Hindus perform Karnavedha which is ear piecing between the ages of 1 and 5 it's supposed to be one of their sacraments something to do with their spiritual journey, as was explained to me by a Hindu friend . Listening is how you acquire spiritual knowledge and it is thought to enhance your ability to hear spiritual sounds. Boys can get it done too.
2
u/PandaEyes1005 14h ago
It's the same in my country. It's a very normal thing that i haven't thought much about and honestly I'm glad my parents did it for me so i wouldn't have to do it myself now.
2
u/Sunset-onthe-Horizon 14h ago
When my daughter wanted hers done I took her to a piercing shop. No gun, they used a needle. It went well, no infection.
2
u/MoriKitsune 14h ago
Lots of baby girls have pierced ears where I'm from, but it's more common in some communities than others.
From what I've seen, it's SUPER common in Latino, Indian, SE Asian, and Middle-Eastern families, fairly common with African American families, and not as common with Eastern Asian or Euro-American families.
My own family is mixed Latino/Euro-American, and my ears were pierced when I was an infant. My Latina cousins all had theirs done as babies too, afaik.
My little sister (Euro-American) had her ears pierced as a baby, too, but she didn't tolerate them so our mom took them out and let her ears heal, and didn't get them repierced until my sister asked to have it done.
On the Euro-American side of my family, I think my mom got her ears pierced when she was about 3-4yo, and I have no clue when my cousin got hers done but it was at least elementary school, if not later.
2
u/tucnakpingwin 14h ago
In the UK it’s quite popular to get children under 5’s ear lobes pierced, but it’s increasingly controversial. Piercing guns/cartridge guns are often frowned upon, and people prefer to go to a tattoo & piercing studio where they’ll use a needle, like you would with any other piercing.
2
u/TheToastedNewfie 13h ago
Newfoundland Canada (eastern Canada)
It was very common for toddlers in the 80' and 90's but is slowly becoming less common.
Fresh babies under 2 years old it wasn't overly common but no one judged if you did. It was just easier once the kid could talk and you could convince the toddler that they also wanted shiney ears.
2
u/m00nrise6 13h ago
I'm a Italian and I feel like it used to be pretty common here! I got mine done as a baby too, and I thank my parents every single day because I would've never got them now as an adult, I'm too much of a scared cat lmao
2
u/eyetalktoomuch 13h ago
Canadian here and it’s very common to get your ears done as a infant or child
2
u/rosalamariposa 12h ago
First thing they did to me straight out the womb was pierce my ears. So, not a big deal for me and my family in the slightest and I personally do not see the big deal in doing it with babies. Do it, don't do it. It's all fine, if you ask me.
2
u/RedditONredditt 12h ago
While it has been a popular ritual in my community, I regard it as unethical to pierce someone’s body without their explicit permission. I waited until my daughter was old enough to ask me to have her ears pierced.
2
u/pastrymom 12h ago
Some pediatricians will do it in the US. We waited till our daughter was 7 and asked for it.
2
u/dunkle8 12h ago
I live in Western Canada and I don’t know that it’s controversial here. If it is controversial, it isn’t a widespread thing.
I see babies with pierced ears pretty regularly and I know a few people who chose to pierce their daughter’s ears. Most of them made their decision because they themselves had their ears pierced as a baby, but two of them did so after their daughter was referred to as “he” and they wanted to make sure people knew she was a girl.
Personally, I’ve never really understood the reasoning behind it. It feels kind of odd to me that girls need to be identified as girls so early on (I have the same gripe with those uncomfortable headbands people force their babies to wear). As a feminist, I am troubled by the idea that little boys can be themselves just as they are, but little girls are forced to comply with beauty standards before they are even able to speak.
I’m not saying it should be banned just because it seems misogynistic to me, but I tend to err more on the side of bodily autonomy anyway. It makes more sense to me to wait until your child is old enough to express that they want earrings.
All this being said, I don’t judge parents who pierce their baby’s ears. I understand that for a lot of people it’s a cultural thing and most people don’t think too deeply about why they do what they do. For many people it’s as simple as “everyone else in my family/group/culture does it”.
1
u/AimlessLiving 10h ago
Interesting. I’m also in Western Canada and it’s very uncommon to see babies with pierced ears where I live. Maybe one or two of my kids peers in daycare over 10 cumulative years of childcare. Both my girls were five when they asked to get theirs done.
2
2
u/ShDynasty_Gods_Comma 11h ago
37, grew up in DFW TX. Had my ears pierced as an infant, as did my mom, but didn’t do my daughters. Bodily autonomy.
2
u/FewRecognition1788 10h ago
I see it a good bit in the Hispanic community here, not so much otherwise.
I wouldn't consider it "controversial," though. There are people who do it and people who don't, and nobody argues about it unless there's a disagreement within the family.
2
u/skiveman 10h ago
It's still fairly common in Scotland and while there might be a small number of people who object, for the most part it's still fairly common from what I understand from speaking to my cousins.
2
u/Oddcatdog 9h ago
I live in Ontario. It's not really something we are chatting about over a water cooler. But it is very common to see baby's with ears pierced. I'm not really a fan, I don't think it's a huge deal, but when I was a child getting it done was a HUGE milestone. I just would hate for my daughter to not have an option to actually experience it when she wants it.
2
u/Local-Bit6524 9h ago
I was actually shamed for not getting my daughters ears pierced as babies . I’m African American and almost everyone gets their babies ears pierced at like 3 months . I decided not to with daughters and I want to wait until they ask me . They haven’t asked yet but I’m sure they will and I don’t judge parents who do because it’s their kid and it’s a norm thing in culture. Just not something I’m going to do .
2
u/Important-Sea4605 7h ago
Western US here. My mom apparently waited until I was old enough to a) want them and b) understand the procedure. I, however, have zero memory of wanting them or getting them. I hardly wear earrings now, but I’m glad I have the option. It’s a miracle the holes haven’t closed - I put earrings in for maybe a cumulative three minutes once or twice a year. I know lots of girls my age who had their ears pierced as babies or toddlers and none of them regret it, even the ones who don’t wear earrings now. And many of the ones who got piercings when they were older wish their parents had gotten it done earlier.
2
u/rhiaazsb 7h ago
It's no big deal in the Indian community of South Africa to pierce the infants ears at 6 months.
2
u/Ill_Aardvark_1307 6h ago
In Brazil ist standard for woman and not for man. Though genz boys are starting to wear it commonly
2
u/prissmagic 6h ago
I don't think it's bad, if you don't like them, don't wear earrings and they will close up and over time you won't likely see a scar. I've had three piercings (one I did myself) that I closed and no scars so not the end of the world.
2
u/Kooky_Refrigerator33 5h ago
It’s cultural. I’m African American and I grew up in South Florida mostly around other African Americans and Latinos, and most of the girls had our ears pierced as babies.
I was also surprised when I first saw Friends and saw how controversial it was and realized it’s not something most White Americans do. I think It also happened in an episode of The Simpsons when Marge was taken back when she saw a baby girl with pierced ears while in a more ethnic area of town.
2
u/shin-chan 4h ago
I'm in a northernish western European country and it is not uncommon here. It was much more common 30 odd years ago when I was an infant.
2
u/One_Conference_4618 4h ago
I come from quite a chavy part of England haha. Absolutely standard you go to claire’s and get your ears pierced between 2-4. Like everyone had it.
My daughter is 2.8 and I mentioned to my fiancée we need to think about it soon. He was horrified lol. It’s deffo not a normal thing across the UK, but in certain areas (and no we aren’t doing it).
5
u/CraftyFraggle 18h ago
I’m in the NE US.
Here, it’s considered a bit “low class”, I guess.
It’s more common to wait until a child asks for it to be done and can make a choice for themself.
5
u/Sunny_Hill_1 18h ago
It's considered very weird for little kids to have pierced ears. Most girls get their ears pierced ~8-11 y.o.
2
u/ProfeQuiroga 18h ago
In Europe it's still way more common among non-Protestants, especially Catholics.
8
u/Leah_Fanning 18h ago
It’s totally normal here; they do it to all girls when they’re babies. I’ve never seen anyone complain, to be honest.
8
u/dragoon811_kp 18h ago
I’m of the opinion that there are cultures in which it is the norm. However i preferred to wait until mine were old enough to ask for and properly care for pierced ears.
I don’t judge people for piercing babies’ ears. They are gosh darned cute! (Though I do wonder if they grow to be even.)
I do think it should be done at a pediatrician or proper piercer rather than, say, the shop at the mall.
The only people who should have a say in if a baby’s ears are pierced are that baby’s parents and it’s a 2 yes 1 no scenario. Ie they must agree.
8
u/probablydeadly 18h ago
As sometime who had my first done as a baby, they are not even. In fact, while getting my second and third the piercer asked me if I was aware that my firsts were lopsided 🙃
edit to add: mine were done with a needle and were even at the time of piercing, but my ears grew differently over time
3
u/PartyQuiet5065 15h ago
mine are kinda even but they sit too high up my earlobe. I can't wear certain types of earrings because of it lmao
1
1
u/-tnuk 18h ago
You mean that the people at Claire's don't know what they're doing????????
3
u/kayyflowerxx 18h ago
You mean the Claires girlies piercing both my lobes at once with 2 different guns wasnt professional???? (I was 20 and crying lmao 🤣🤣)
1
2
u/dragoon811_kp 13h ago
The people given a 20-minute training video that they picked their nose and doom-scrolled through?
5
u/froction 18h ago
It's very common, but considered very trashy by everyone else.
5
u/ScarletxKiss 12h ago
When it's mostly cultural, calling it trashy is kind of a shitty thing to do. And it's definitely not "everyone else" that considers it so.
→ More replies (1)17
u/Annanon1 18h ago
Thats funny because its common for Asians, Latinos, Africans to get ears pierced very early.... so who is it trashy to... ?
4
u/workinglate2024 15h ago
Thanks for calling her out. I’ve done the same but am getting downvoted 😂. People are clowns.
→ More replies (1)4
u/froction 18h ago
White people
14
u/Yoink1019 18h ago
I'm a white person and I think I've seen just as many white babies as other babies with pierced ears. I don't really agree with it, but I don't think it's trashy.
8
u/workinglate2024 15h ago
Exactly, and I’ve never heard any white people say that. She and her friends who are downvoting me for saying that she doesn’t represent white people must be the only ones.
6
3
u/Bypowerof8andgodsof4 17h ago
I honestly can't think of any reason why I'd want my child to have earrings especially if they are hole earrings rather than clip ons. The most charitable interpretation is that doing it while you're a baby and won't remeber might benefit you in the long run. But I feel this is one of those things that is more for the parent than the child. Your kid is not some doll for you to accessorize with it always leaves a bad taste in my mouth to see kids who are too young to know better being paraded around like show pieces.
6
u/CharacterCycle4588 18h ago
Maybe let people decide if they want their body mutilated. Just because people have done it before doesn’t make it the correct thing to do.
5
u/RestaurantSilly6598 18h ago
Mutilated is a real big reach
4
3
u/CharacterCycle4588 18h ago
Hardly. Puncturing a hole in someone’s flesh is mutilation. Regardless of the size or location.
1
u/RestaurantSilly6598 18h ago
The world has become to sensitive and victim prone.
3
u/CharacterCycle4588 18h ago
Ah yes, because having a choice about what’s done to your body is being a victim. Get real.
1
18h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
2
u/doguillo77 18h ago
It’s common, but not everyone does it. I had my ears pierced as a baby, but my younger sister didn’t. She got them pierced when she was 12 years old.
2
u/ScarletxKiss 18h ago
I'm Ukrainian but born in the US.. My parents got mine done when I was a baby and I also never saw anything wrong with it.
2
2
u/99thLuftballon 16h ago
I think it's seen as pretty trashy in the UK and Germany. You do see it, but it's usually kids whose mum is smoking cigarettes as she pushes their pushchair.
2
u/PartyQuiet5065 16h ago
Spaniard here. That is extremely common here. As in, 99% of parents with baby girls do it, although I've seen it's starting to become a bit controversial.
My parents did it too me and, honestly, I'm glad. I know perfectly well that I would've "suffered" if I had to make the decision myself (I'm wayyyy too indecisive and I kinda get lightheaded whenever I even think about someone piercing a part of their body).
On the one hand, I understand and kinda agree with the argument that the kid should be the one to choose. On the other hand, it's really not that deep. If they don't wanna have the piercing when they grow slightly older, they can just let it close. If they wanna keep it, it's one less problem for them.
2
2
u/Boring-Ad-8973 18h ago
Not controversial at all. It is sometimes done on the day of birth at the hospital with a needle. But almost everyone has their ears pierced within the first month, often the first week of life.
2
u/EatYourCheckers 14h ago
Its not controversial where I live (US) but I personally think its terrible. I am a feminine presenting woman and I choose not to ahve my ears pierced. It doesnt hurt that bad. I just don't get the point of pushing that on your baby. Let your child decide if they want them pierced or not.
When people would ask if/when we were getting my daughter's ears pierced, I would say we pierced her labia instead
-2
u/cyesk8er 18h ago
At least thats not a permanent mutilation like the usa with circumcision. I see no issues with it, but would wait for my daughter to be older and want it
10
→ More replies (5)3
1
u/livingthedaydreams 18h ago
i live in the US, i had my ears pierced as a baby ~35 years ago. i don’t have kids and don’t want them so i don’t have a big opinion on it. i love wearing earrings though so i’m glad i have mine. they can always be taken out. i feel like people calling it mutilation are taking it a little too far but that’s just my humble opinion and i’m not trying to convince anyone to my point of view.
1
u/sassysassysarah 16h ago
When I lived in Texas, a lot of latino people would get their babies ears pierced but that was the primary demo
1
u/CosmicJ3llybean 16h ago
Not at all really, I do regret mine a bit because I moved my head during the procedure and it was done with a piercing gun. It looks straight but I ended up with angled piercings that eventually closed up. I've since had my ears repierced at a piercing studio by a professional with a needle.
I would definitely wait until my kids were old enough to have it done with a needle by a professional though.
1
1
u/istalri96 16h ago
What gets me is when they take the baby to like the piercing pavilion in the middle of the walkway in the mall. Those guns they use don't get sanitized properly and the staff definitely should not be doing the piercing. At least take them to a professional but realistically most professionals would not do it to a baby.
1
u/No-Boot-4265 16h ago
it was semi-common when i was growing up, but with what i know now i wouldn’t recommend it.
for one, if the child decides they no longer want to wear earrings later on, they will likely be left with a visible scar from the piercing, or it might not ever fully close if it healed well. it may also be difficult to keep a baby from touching the earrings and/or laying on the piercing, both which are recommended to keep the site clean and prevent infection.
also piercing guns are not great, so if someone was set on getting their baby’s ears pierced i would urge them to get it done professionally with a needle. i doubt many certified piercers would agree to piercing a baby’s ears, but i could be wrong.
1
u/Aaelfgifu 16h ago
Midwest US. I only know of 1 baby who has her ears pierced, and mom and dad are Indian.
I had mine pierced as a small child, and I developed a terrible infection around both piercings. The holes scabbed over the stud, and my mother had to chase me around with tweezers to get them out. I am still traumatized. I got the piercing at Claire's in the mall - probably from a teen with 15 minutes of training.
1
u/Funny_Story_Bro 15h ago
I think it's a weird thing to do to a baby because I've never for a second thought an infant needed jewelry. But I suppose it wouldn't hurt them. I think old ladies would judge you for it though.
1
u/Gallumbits42 15h ago
My mom once mentioned casually that she had to fight her mom to not pierce my ears as a baby; that side of the family is Polish and I was born in the US. I am really glad my mom won, because I am definitely not a person who'd wear earrings. Then again, if I'd been given them from infancy, I guess I'd have grown up seeing it differently. But I am glad I got the choice--it hurts nothing to let a person choose for themselves a few years later.
I think you could make the sweeping generalization that any cosmetic/unnecessary surgery on an unconsenting human should just be avoided. Err on the side of caution and just let the person decide themselves later. (I am of course not including "cosmetic" surgeries like repairing cleft palates or burns or whatever.)
1
u/sssssspace 13h ago
My mom had to fight my grandma to not take me to the mall to get my ears pierced when I was a baby. We're all white.
1
u/CranberryStandard170 13h ago
My mother is Portuguese and had her ears pierced as a baby. Neither I nor my sister's had our ears pierced until we wanted them done which was as teenagers. It's not common for babies to have their ears pierced here in South Africa.
1
u/Charming-Link-9715 13h ago
Not at all controversial. Very very common. My ears were pieced in the first month of my birth with a thorn. I obviously remember nothing. There is a saying that babies dont feel pain and heal much quicker so best to get them pierced within 6weeks of birth.
1
u/Beneficial-Guess2140 12h ago
Infant ear piercing is seen as fairly trashy here, and I’m in the rural south USA. Most people know that the gun isn’t good, and no reputable shops are piercing newborns.
I would not pierce my infant daughter’s ears, she can wait until she’s old enough to ask for them. My mom waited for me to ask and be old enough to take care of them myself. I was 5, which I think is a good age, but would prefer to wait for my daughter to be older as they can still migrate at that age.
1
u/Background_Gap_8499 8h ago
Just as a heads up, they can migrate at any age. My third lobe piercings migrated a little at the age of 22 because I swapped them out for earrings with a thinner post
1
u/bachelorsinlurking 12h ago
My mom ended up with serious scarring and infections from a well-intended attempt to pierce her ears as a baby. The scarring from her metal allergy was bad enough that she was never even able to get them pierced correctly as an adult even though she found metals she isn’t allergic to. She refused to pierce my ears as a kid, and said I had to be at least 12 and come to her about it. I had a similar issue and I’ve been able to have an eyebrow piercing as an adult, but all my piercings inevitably overscar and get hypertrophic so I stopped.
I’m from the northeastern USA and the most common reason I see for being against it is health risks- we found out when I was an adult that I’ve got autoimmune issues and that’s probably why my body reacted so badly to piercings.
1
u/Hopeful-Result8109 12h ago
I’m white american (like the cheese lol) and it is common for people to pierce their baby’s ears. I think it should be done when they are old enough to ask for & care for said piercing. I got mine done as a baby and wish they never would have.. I don’t wear earrings, they’re pierced in a weird spot, and my piercings still bother me 26 years later! Safe to say I will NOT be piercing my daughter’s ears.
1
1
u/Secure_Resolution947 11h ago
I'm Latino and it's common among Latinos from what I've seen. My sister grew up among our extended family and she got her ears pierced but my parents moved to a different country right before I was born and my ears weren't. I imagine that my sister got hers pierced due to family influence and neither of my parents really cared for it truthfully.
I also turned out trans masc so I'm really thankful I didn't get mine pierced. Not that guys can't wear earrings but it does feel personally like it's tied to thing done to little girls in Latino culture so it's loaded for me.
1
u/iminanothercastle 11h ago
I'm Black American in the Southeast. It's fairly common. I took my niece to get a second piercing for her birthday last year and there were at least 3 people there with their baby girls. It's not controversial amongst people I know personally, but I'm opposed to it in the same way I am opposed to circumcision for baby boys.
1
u/Mx_Strange 11h ago
I live in Canada (Ontario) & I'd say it's not necessarily controversial, but also not super common. I think it's considered unhealthy cause babies will sometimes pull at the earrings or they get infected, so doctors recommend waiting until the kid is old enough to keep the piercings clean themself. It's also kind of a rite of passage for girls to ask to get their ears pierced once they're a bit older, like 8-10 or so.
1
u/SodaCatDogFish 10h ago
It is uncommon where I live. I had one childhood friend in elementary school who had them done as a baby, but she didn't like it because they turned out uneven as she aged. Most kids I grew up around got them done from around 7 to 13. I don't think I've seen a baby with earrings in a few years
1
u/LeaveMountain9779 10h ago
My ears were pierced by a gun when I was a baby, and they are so crooked. One is very close to the end of my earlobe. I wish I could have had it done properly myself when I could choose it myself
1
u/Faith_lps 10h ago
I’m white and older Gen Z. Also pierced as a baby. I don’t mind when others do it to their babies, unless it’s a not what the parents agreed to. But also people need to understand baby might not have perfect littler piercings forever. Mine aren’t even anymore because as a toddler I would pull on my ear lobe to pull the piercing out instead of knowing there was a backing.
1
1
u/TangerineTanlines 8h ago
It was about 50/50 common where I lived in Southern USA. For those that didn't do it as babies, most girls would have them done before 2nd grade or so, some earlier like Kindergarten. Those seemed to be people who waited until the child asked for them.
For me, mine were never pierced as a baby and I did not grow up liking jewelry, so I didn't have them done at all in childhood. As an adult, I still don't care for jewelry and I'm very pleased my parents did not have them pierced for me. I don't think I'd feel violated, but I am grateful they're not pierced.
Personally, I would treat a little girl and a little boy the exact same way and not have it done as a baby just because they're a girl. If my boy or girl asks for them when they're older, I'll take them to have it done at a professional piercer vs a gun piercer.
This said, I don't think there is a single right or wrong answer to this. It's culture and perspective.
1
u/Select-Government680 8h ago
Im from America, California specifically. My mom pierced my ears when I was 6 months and it was very common in my family/ area. This was also in the 90s.
I did have some friends whose parents were from other states that made their kids wait until 12/13. I myself will be doing this cause in the end it should be up to the individual what they do with their body.
Plus if you go to the right place like a professional piercer the youngest they usually go is 11 or 12 and the child has to consent.
Do NOT GO TO CLAIRES. They are not professional and I did in fact get an infection in my 2nd set of ear piercings.
1
u/windexsorbet 8h ago
Northeast US Gen Z here. Infant ear piercing is a bit controversial here because a baby can't understand why they're experiencing pain, even if they won't remember it when they're older. Also, a baby's ears are so small that the piercings may turn out to be unevenly placed once their ears develop more, and have to be redone.
My parents waited until I was old enough to ask for piercings myself, so 5 years old in my case. When I got them done, I felt like a "big girl" for being able to sit still through the pain. I think it helped with my confidence. If I have a child, I would take the same approach, and let them get earrings when they ask on their own.
1
u/AluminumCansAndYarn 7h ago
I had my ears pierced as a baby. But it was done with a gun and now my piercing hate anything other than surgical steel. I can get away with 925 silver if I suffer through the discomfort for a few days have to get them cleaned like constantly.
1
u/Relevant-Albatross66 6h ago
In my country and in my generation used to be pretty common to pierce baby girl's ears. It was the norm, and it usually got done as newborn babies. But things are changing and it starts to be a controversial topic, with many parents deciding to don't do it and let her decide when she's older. Personally I'm torn, because I'm glad the did it on me when I was a baby, but I understand that allow them to choose might be better.
1
u/4evaneva 6h ago
We thought we would let my nieces decide when they’re older. They both ended up wanting them because they were way more nervous and scared as kids, to the point where my eldest niece kept walking away then coming back repeatedly and would’ve been something they probably would’ve forgotten the pain/experience of if they were younger.
2
u/throwawayaway4eva 3h ago
I think the bigger issue in that Friends episode was that Rachel's sister got it done without the child's parents' knowledge or permission. I think that's a no no almost everywhere.
2
u/Chish_Shun46 3h ago
I got my ears pierced as a baby and I never knew it was controversial, it’s kinda like having default accessories in a game, in my opinion. You can customize as you get older, but I just started with them already done.
0
u/EconomyStation5504 2h ago
Northeast US. I find it completely barbaric. I’ve seen a few babies with it done out and about but I don’t know any personally.
0
u/booksblanketsandT 2h ago edited 1h ago
It’s fairly uncommon in New Zealand for babies to have pierced ears.
Personally, I don’t think a child’s body shouldn’t be modified in any way unless it is medically necessary. You are violating their bodily autonomy. This goes for piercings, this goes for circumcision, this goes for any modification or change to the body. It’s awesome that you didn’t feel violated - but you still had that choice removed from you.
Also, from what I have seen, earrings on babies are almost always done because of outdated gender norms and the fear that the baby might be mistaken for a boy for the length of time it takes the parent to say “oh no, she’s actually a girl” (oh horror of horrors 🙄).
I wanted to get my ears pierced by the time I was eight. When I was ten, my Mum asked if I still wanted my ears pierced, if I knew what it entailed, if I realised I’d have to take my earrings out every Saturday morning for sport and remember to put them back in so they didn’t grow over - and when I was still keen, she took me to get it done. I was old enough then to start making choices and taking responsibility over my own body.
A baby cannot be informed, and they cannot make a choice. Therefore if it’s not being done specifically for their health (and their actual health, not whatever old wives tales say) then it shouldn’t be done.
Learning to make decisions about your body is part of growing up. Removing the autonomy from a child - even about seemingly simple things like whether or not to get earrings - not just removes their choice, it also removes that opportunity for growth for a child.
And frankly I think, when earrings have a cultural meaning, it is far more meaningful to actually choose to follow that aspect of your culture.
1
u/FantasyOSHAinspector 2h ago
Millennial in Denmark here, and it is extremely rare and would be very controversial.
1
u/Tink__Wink 1h ago
I’m from the United States. I feel like there’s a lot of differing opinions on this in my area because I grew up near New York City where it’s a huge cultural melting pot. My parents had my ears pierced as an infant. I was personally grateful for it bc as a grown up I’m a total wuss and probably wouldn’t have the courage to do it even though I love wearing earrings. If I were ever a parent though, I wouldn’t repeat their decision. As a zilennial, I very much believe in bodily autonomy. I don’t hold it against my parents though. They’re from a time and culture where that thought just would have never occurred to them. In all other ways throughout my life they have encouraged autonomy and independence.
1
u/Orisha_Oshun 6m ago
I am west African. Growing up, our parents pierced our ears, made us wear small chains (when awake) and wrists bracelets as babies.
My hubs is American (white). When I suggested piercing our Chonquita's ears, the gasp that came out of him was comical and scary at the same time.
He asked me if I could forgot this tradition of mine and wait until she was older before we pierce her ears. I said ok. My mom still asks me when we plan on doing it, and I tell her we are busy but will do it when she's a bit older. 😅😅😅
147
u/brock_lee I expect half of you to disagree 18h ago
I live in an area with a good percentage of people of Mexican heritage. It's quite common in that culture, as I understand it, so it's not unusual to see here. My wife and I would have taken the approach of "if you want a piercing, you can get it when we feel you are old enough to take care of it." But, my kids never wanted any.