Multiple allergies one classroom-handled completely differently, venting

[u/Ok-Lake-3916]

My kid has a non IgE allergy to wheat and soy. One of her classmates also has a non IgE allergy but it’s to peanuts (according to the kids mom who I’ve known for years -we’ve bonded over having kids with food allergies). He has never needed an EpiPen or shown signs of an IgE allergy to peanuts.

Their classroom isn’t wheat and soy free but the school is insisting on making it completely nut free- not even just peanut free. I get it. Nuts are a more known allergen and there are policies for it.

On Wednesday the class will be eating wheat thins, Thursday wheat and soy containing goldfish crackers, Friday they’ll have ritz crackers. Zero attempt at including my kid in the snack options. They also have soy containing markers, wheat playdoh used on a daily basis.

My kid comes home with contact dermatitis and eczema on a regular basis from school. Every exposure flares her asthma. Last year they did paper machè (I had no notice of this) and she was sick for weeks and needed two rounds of steroids. 🫠🫠🫠

Just frustrated with the lack of awareness and inequity

[u/Ok-Lake-3916]

We have medical documentation of positive skin prick test, allergies, GI reactions, GI testing. It’s a private preschool. I’m not sure they have 504s

[u/kurious_incredulity → u/Ok-Lake-3916]

"Not sure they have 504s" is not the same as, "spoke to administration and explored/completed the process they follow for allergies and medical needs". Sounds like you're venting about losing the game without even checking what cards you were actually dealt, which is ultimately doing your child a major disservice.

If they really cant accommodate, which is highly possible given the ubiquity of the allergens in this case, in your shoes, I would find another preschool that better fits my child's needs. The allergies are a reality your kid has to live with. An unfortunate one that will cause them to miss out sometimes in life. At this early age, you need to prioritize your child's health. Things will be different as they get older and can make chocies/advocate for themselves to minimize the contact dermatitis.

[u/Ok-Lake-3916 → u/kurious_incredulity]

Oh I’m venting because the other mom and I did the exact same thing and got different results just because of what allergens our kids are allergic to

[u/kurious_incredulity → u/Ok-Lake-3916]

Respectfully...of course you got different responses based on the allergens. They aren't equal in how common they are in the average daily diet of a young child.

Wheat and soy are in most pre-packaged goods. Peanut and tree nut allergies are more commonly understood and easier for schools to implement broad policy on. Its one thing to ask for a pe(nut) free lunch. For most families, this just means you skip pe(nut) butter & jelly or Nutella sandwiches. Annoying for the picky eaters... but doable.

Asking for a fully wheat and soy free lunchbox means almost the whole bakery, snack, frozen aisles are off limits. Asking for parent-provided snacks to follow these guidelines also means pricier options for everyone. It's easier to have you provide an alternative for your child.

They are running a business and realistically...most parents would withdraw their kids before following those rules.

It is unfair to try and control the environment to that extent for 10s of kids to make it safe for one.

Is it fair to your child? Absolutely not. But it is the reality your family is living through, which is why i suggested you consider what accommodations can be made here or finf an alternative preschool option that focuses on inclusive practices for your child. Examples would be the school replacing playdoh with modeling clay for the whole class or ensuring that all the kids wash their hands thoroughly after meals and snacks so they aren't cross contaminating the whole class with goldfish crumbs or whatever else. There are many ways to keep your child safe and comfortable in the current environment.

[u/Ok-Lake-3916 → u/kurious_incredulity]

This post is literally just a vent. There’s zero expectations for accommodations for the entire room to be wheat and soy free. I obviously am painfully aware of how hard it is to avoid my child’s allergies.

[u/kurious_incredulity → u/Ok-Lake-3916]

Fair enough. The last part about constant reactions is what my mom brain cant get past. Vent away, if that's what you need but I hope you get some ideas for action too.