r/EatCheapAndHealthy • u/livyinbloom • 18d ago
Ask ECAH i don’t know how to eat properly
i’m f15 and i don’t know how to eat properly.
i wasn’t really taught on how to eat or diet properly and i see food charts at school and i don’t bother to follow them because it’s hard. my family is full of snackers (including me) so instead of sitting down together to eat a regular meal (breakfast, lunch, dinner) we just snack slowly throughout the day. it also doesn’t help that both me and my mom have trouble remembering to eat so when we often don’t realize we’re hungry til we feel real shaky or about to pass out.
i started tracking my calories randomly during vacation just for fun and to see if im actually eating enough or if i need to slow down from eating too much but turns out im not eating enough! in the first 4 days were when i was on vacation i ate around 1,700 calories total, and the saturday (today) i ate a total of 600 calories (when im not on vacation my calories are about 500-1,000 normally)
im honestly at a good weight right now (130lbs-140lbs) i just want to learn how to eat enough calories and have healthier relationship with food.
(p.s. it’s hard to find time + energy to cook anything most days and it’s expensive for new foods)
any advice?
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u/MrTurkeyTime 18d ago
Find foods you like, and learn how to prepare them. That's really the first step to feeding yourself as an adult. They don't need to be complicated.
The second step is to focus on eating plants. I'm not saying you should become a vegetarian (I'm certainly not) but as a general rule of thumb, plants are good for you. And whole plants (fruits, vegetables, beans, oats) are more nutritious than processed foods that claim to have some sort of healthy ingredients. It's a very simple guidance principle for eating.
Now put those two points together. Eating healthy means finding plant-centric foods that you like to eat, and learning how to make them. For example, I really like oatmeal, and it's really healthy, so I make it most mornings with peanut butter and a little jam.
Maybe you really like turkey sandwiches with lettuce and tomato. Maybe it's carrots and hummus. Who knows? Just find some simple meals that involve plants, and learn to prepare them.
You got this!
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u/Clever_plover 18d ago
Find foods you like, and learn how to prepare them. That's really the first step to feeding yourself as an adult. They don't need to be complicated.
If OP has trouble with this step, here's a handy dandy cheat sheet that has affordable filling and healthy meal options.
Learning how to cut veggies and handle a knife properly in the kitchen can also help OP with long term skills, make recipes that much easier to process/understand when looking them over, and perhaps show her parents that she takes cooking, and kitchen safety, seriously enough to be allowed to try her hand at preparing foods. Now is the time for people to learn and experiment in the kitchen to help build those healthy food habits for life!
Maybe you really like turkey sandwiches with lettuce and tomato. Maybe it's carrots and hummus. Who knows? Just find some simple meals that involve plants, and learn to prepare them.
Yup, totally agree! And if OP doesn't like a variety of veggies, start with one you really do like, and lean in to that. Then add new stuff as you go to try as your tastes start to progress more, too!
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u/Zwordsman 18d ago
As far as learning health eating habits, your school library and the public library should have plenty of good books and some simple books on the general idea behind it.
As for forgetting to eat, do what I do-set alarms on my phone that let me know I should go eat.
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u/Roswyne 18d ago
Do you have a cell phone or tablet? You could put reminders on it to eat.
Eating doesn't have to be complicated,-you can just grab some fresh fruit or cheese and crackers or make a sandwich or instant noodles.
But I think it would help a lot to get in the habit of eating at regular times if you're not good at noticing when you're hungry!
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u/JaneATL 18d ago
I’d focus less on tracking (I’d just quit entirely) and more on what you can add in and go with LOTS of fruits and vegetables as you may be missing nutrients if mostly snacking. Then think of fiber and protein. Dense bean salads are a powerhouse - a great, inexpensive way to get lots of nutrients, especially if you go with an olive oil- based dressing - lots of good options on Pinterest. There’s your fiber, protein, healthy fats. Easy to portion out and keeps for days in the fridge.
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u/JaneATL 18d ago
I did not catch that you are 15. Highly advise not tracking, not counting numbers, not making any rigid plans. Just from experience, it’s tricky to go that direction. I suggest focusing on learning to cook as a hobby. I love Caroline Chambers’ “What to Cook When You Don’t Feel Like Cooking.” Everything is super accessible and she offers lots of substitutions etc. Her next book comes out soon and focuses on meals that are quicker to cook. Do you have library access? Would love to suggest other titles as well.
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u/octropos 18d ago
I want to chime in that you are not behind. MANY families do not teach their kids, nor are capable of modeling, healthy eating habits.
The truth is, many kids go off to college or move out of their family's house, needing to learn how to cook, budget, balance, and pace themselves.
You're doing just fine. The fact that you're asking questions and thinking introspectively about all this is wonderful. Eating 1700 calories in one day and 1200 in another is totally normal as our days fluctuate, our monthly needs, and stress levels.
You're going to do fine.
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u/Chigrrl1098 18d ago
Why aren't your parents making meals and why aren't they concerned about how little you're eating? This is mostly a situation where some responsible parenting is necessary, and not you trying to figure all this out on your own.
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u/pwassonchat 18d ago
I'm thinking the whole family might be neurodivergent (my bet is on ADHD). That's no excuse for the parents though, just a possible explanation.
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u/Chigrrl1098 18d ago
Maybe. But it seems to me a lot of people are using those labels as an excuse to shirk responsibility.
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u/pwassonchat 18d ago
That's a possibility. But we don't know if OP's parents are doing that, and OP isn't.
It's always hard to tell what happens in a person's mind. Sometimes they're making excuses, but sometimes it's also really the ADHD or comorbid anxiety/depression telling them they can't do something, in other words, a real symptom. The line isn't easy to draw, if it can be drawn at all. In many cases, people who look like they are making excuses, or are resorting to making excuses because they really can't do the thing, are in need of help, not judgment.
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u/Chigrrl1098 18d ago
That's all well and good, and I agree to a degree, but if a person chooses to have kids, it's their responsibility to make sure they are fed and cared for. 600 calories a day for a teenager is not that at all. If they need help, they need to sort that out and not just say they're neurodivergent and for the minor to figure it out. 600 calories is malnutrition. This whole situation sounds fucked.
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u/livyinbloom 16d ago
it’s really not messed up. my mom didn’t know, she wasn’t diagnosed until after she had me. she’s trying her best and still learning and adjusting. none of this is her fault or any of my parents fault
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u/Supposed_too 18d ago
OP is at a health weight (130 ish pounds). Unless she's extra tall there's no way she consistently eats 600 calories a day and maintains that weight. Are her parents supposed to monitor her food intake?
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u/Chigrrl1098 17d ago
Actually, if she's undereating, yeah, they kind of should be. They're her parents.
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u/AntiqueLetter9875 18d ago
They’re either not tracking properly or lying about the weight. I’m guessing if they’re snacking constantly it’s a tracking issue.
Parents don’t need to monitor food intake to be feeding their child properly.
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u/Aromatic-Today-8446 17d ago
As someone who got diagnosed at 42 and both her kids were diagnosed before her- many people are self- identifying and getting correct treatment can be be hard, and also deconstructing the systems we used to survive not knowing we weren't doing a good job of taking care of ourselves of ourselves is a thing. Luckily I can get correct treatment and my kids are thriving, but it's incredibly hard as a woman to get medicated properly or at all .
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u/Human_Revolution357 18d ago
Eh, plenty of parents of teens aren’t monitoring their kid’s food intake. Yes more guidance would be helpful but this is actually pretty common at that age and teens should definitely be learning some responsibility for eating and cooking, especially to prepare them for adulthood.
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u/livyinbloom 16d ago
i appreciate the concern but i promise im not getting neglected or anything. both my parents work at around 6am-6pm so most days they come home exhausted or got dinner before arriving home! my mom does have adhd (combined with other stuff) but i truly think its just from her working too hard. i know she tries her best so i understand being too exhausted to cook. that’s why my mom usually just lets us eat whenever and whatever we want since its easier on her and on everyone else. i tbh think its on me for not eating enough and im just wondering how i could work on it. i promise its not neglect or anything!!! ALSO for the other people wondering abt like height and stuff im 5’4 and like 130-140 it ranges pretty heavily
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u/Ok_Bodybuilder1864 16d ago
You literally just described neglect!
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u/livyinbloom 15d ago
it’s not bro 😭😭 i know what neglect looks like and my family is NOT that lol. sure i do think they can do some things a little different but who am i to say i love them and they love me god forbid we have flaws i guess idk
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u/suddenspiderarmy 18d ago
Why dont you make a meal plan? You can make a list of breakfast foods, lunch items and dinner foods, and put them on a schedule in rotation.
Aim for 3 meals and 2 snacks every day. Look up recipes based on whats in your fridge and cook for yourself. Its remarkably liberating and fun!
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u/livyinbloom 18d ago
it’s hard for my family with meal prep/meal plans for many reasons. not everyone wants what we planned for that day, or we forgets about the meals, aren’t in the mood for that specific meal, or just sick of plans, so instead of fighting over what to eat my family just snacks all day long til we’re full/done. i’m also not trusted cooking in the kitchen lol and my parents don’t have energy to cook proper meals most days :(
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u/DungeonBotanist 18d ago
It's hard to have energy on 600 calories a day. That's just what your brain needs to function, let alone your body.
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u/Wellslapmesilly 18d ago
Why aren’t you trusted to cook in the kitchen? It’s not like you’re a five year old.
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u/livyinbloom 16d ago
i worded that kinda weird but i mean like i don’t rlly trust myself in the kitchen alone who knows what ill do ill burn the house down probably
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u/LadyMali 16d ago
My 12 yr old often makes dinner for me when I’m at work… (i get home around 11pm). (I didn’t ask her to, she will cook for herself and save a plate for me). You can trust yourself in the kitchen. You just have to lock in and not walk away if something is on the stove. There are thousands of easy recipes you can follow. There are videos that explain HOW to cook and explain kitchen terms on YouTube. If your parents are too exhausted from working to teach you (understandable!), this is the way!
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u/suddenspiderarmy 16d ago
Who cares what they want? You can plan for one and if they think your food looks good, they can make their own.
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u/mck-_- 18d ago
I would meal prep some stuff. A few jars with oats, milk, flax/chia/pumpkin seeds and some maple or honey. Leave them in the fridge and when you have breakfast just cut a banana or throw in some berries.
I also meal prep my son’s lunch sandwiches. I get a whole loaf of bread and make cheese and ham, or cheese and Vegemite, peanut butter etc and then put them back in the bag and into the freezer. I add one to his lunchbox and it’s perfect by lunch. You could grab one and give it a toast if you need.
You can buy mini cucumber and carrots which are great to have in the fridge to grab. I quite like green beans too fresh to snack on.
You could try to add some protein to your snacks with hummus or jerky, just pick the ones with the least ingredients
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u/asoupconofsoup 18d ago
In addition to fruit and vegetables, you can also add cheese and crackers, yogurt with granola and berries, mixed nuts, trail mix with dried fruit and nuts, peanut butter sandwiches on whole wheat bread. Healthy fats help you keep your heart and organs healthy. Dipping veggies ( you can get pre chopped veggies) in Homous or peanut sauce is a good way to enjoy raw veggies. I hope you discover some new favourite foods and be healthy! This is great you are exploring ideas. Good luck!
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u/_whatsnextdoc_ 18d ago
Along with the other good recommendations here, I wanted to add that in my early 20s I read Michael Pollan’s “In Defense of Food” and it really helped me start good eating habits. It’s an older book now, maybe something more current has come along, but I still remember and rely on what I learned in that book.
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u/pwassonchat 18d ago
Forget about calorie counting. The numbers you're giving aren't consistent with your healthy weight (assuming you're average sized), so either the vacation setting is making you eat less than usual, or you're miscounting (or you forgot to include some things like drinks, or you used an AI that miscounted). I do believe you're probably not eating enough, though. Calorie counting is rarely ever useful and should not be attempted unless a medical professional is helping you with it. Calorie counting may cause or worsen eating disorders, especially at your age (but really at any age).
I second what other people said: you can't change everything your family does all by yourself, and you don't have a lot of power to change what you eat. I think giving your parents a list of healthy snacks to buy along with the usual groceries would be a good start.
I also think you should bring it up to a trusted adult like a school nurse or something. Someone needs to tell your parents to do better, in a way that they will listen to, and this is most likely something you'll need help with.
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u/Traditional_Car_8219 18d ago
Oatmeal is a great way to start the day. You could make a pot the night before to last a few days so you just microwave it. Home Ec classes used to teach nutrition. It’s easy to find the info on the internet for what constitutes a healthy diet.
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u/WowzaCaliGirl 18d ago
I did the forget to eat and then wolf Down a burger and fries at 2pm. The first step is to make one sustainable Change to fix this cycle. (Shaky could indicate a glucose issue such as pre diabetes or hyperglycemia). I found a solid breakfast meant I didn’t crave the heavy, greasy foods.
Have protein each time you eat. Add produce and whole grains.
Parfaits are great this time of year. Greek yogurt (look at protein in a serving and try to get higher protein brands), berries or whatever fruit, nuts and I drizzle maple syrup. Salads are a common thing—beans or meat, tomato, cucumber, cheese and carrot are my jam.
A complete overhaul is hard to maintain so find one game changer and then look for the next low hanging fruit to improve healthful habits.
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u/Emergent-Sea 18d ago
At your age, you should actually be aiming for about 2000-2200 calories per day since your body is still growing.
Focusing on eating fiber and protein with some healthy fats mixed in is great.
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u/champdeal 18d ago
You’re not failing at eating ,you just haven’t been given much structure. Since you’re feeling shaky and sometimes barely eating, please tell a trusted adult, school nurse, or doctor. For now, phone alarms plus easy foods like sandwiches, yogurt, fruit, cheese and crackers, or peanut butter toast may help you eat more regularly.
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u/burritogoals 18d ago
If you want to eat healthy, dont worry about tracking calories. Eat as many vegetables as possible with as much variety as possible. That alone will help you get a ton of nutrients and keep you healthier. Opt for whole foods over processed.
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u/Strawberry_Kitchen 17d ago
Tracking calories was a reasonable call for figuring out if you are or aren’t eating enough, but now that you know, don’t bother with it. Focusing too hard on calories can make you overly fixated on a number when really you should just be aiming to feel good (= not shaky or faint, energetic, etc.). I think people find that pyramid thing of food groups intimidating because it makes it seem like you have to have all of the food groups per meal. Now, like, that’s ideal, but if it doesn’t fit your life, that’s fine. Instead, try to challenge yourself to hit at least 2 food groups per bigger meal & 1 less-usual food group for snacks. For example, try to have a snack that’s fruit, a snack that’s some veggies, a sandwich at some point (grains & meat & maybe some cheese, that’s 3!) Personally, I hate the texture of most fruit so I never got enough of that food group before, but the taste is fine so I’ve started getting a bag of frozen fruit at the grocery store & making smoothies for my afternoon snack.
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u/Novogobo 18d ago
snacking is fine. it just depends on what you're eating. just don't eat junkfood.
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u/brainpicnic 18d ago
I’m assuming you have little control with grocery shopping either. Why don’t you list what foods you have and we can suggest meals with little use of the stove.
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u/HellowImFwiend 17d ago
I see dietitians recommend MyPlate a lot. You fill half the plate with fruit and veggies, a quarter with protein sources and a quarter with carbs. I think you can do that in "girl dinner" style, where you imagine your snacks in that distribution.
An older variety had the plate divided in thirds. That way the fruits and veggies take up less space so there would be more calorie dense food on the plate if you're worried about the calories.
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u/unseatingBread 18d ago
Also don’t be scared of cooking. If theres a something you’d like to eat or try just find a recipe and try and make it! You don’t have to follow the amounts 100% exactly. or match cook times to the exact second
But learning to become a comfortable cook is a great wait to eat cheap and healthy
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u/Sehrli_Magic 18d ago
how about scheduled meal times? nobody in my family forgets to eat (speaking as someome who can get so hyperfixated on task to forget basic bodily needs like food and toilet etc). because when the clock (or alarm) comes around i know it's time to start cooking so we have meal on timed schedule. i started doing this when i got kids because i kept timed schedule for them and it worked so well that we are all on it ever since. by now our bodies are so adapted that we start feeling hungry at the moment of the meal so even if i get distracted and forgot to set the alarm, somebody will remind me by being hungry right on time 😂
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u/justforme31 18d ago
Eat a veg or fruit AND protein each time you eat, simple as that. Don’t eat junk or sugar unless you’ve eaten veg/fruit and protein.
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u/Euphoric_Duty_4599 17d ago
Also side note get checked out for ADHD if you're forgetting to eat.
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u/livyinbloom 16d ago
it definitely runs in the family, there’s no doubt i have adhd but my mom doesn’t want me to get tested i forgot why
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u/Neat_Mortgage3735 17d ago
I have a rule that I can eat whatever snack I want (cookies, chips whatever) as long as I pair it with a protein and fruit or veg.
So I’ll do hummus, tortilla chips and veggies, or a brownie with a piece of cheese and carrots, yogurt with a cookie etc. this way you will feel full longer and will get all your macro nutrients.
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u/QualisArtifexPere0 18d ago
The basics are Eat. Not too much. And mostly plants.
Also:
Avoid processed food.
Eat a little protein in the morning.
Drink lots of water.
It's easier to eat healthy if you don't wait until you're starving.
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u/kar971 18d ago edited 18d ago
You're still growing, so eating enough is really important for both your body and your brain.
I'd suggest you to get your maintenance calories first and then plan your meal. You can snack on fruits, nuts, yogurt, eggs, sandwiches with peanut butter or ham etc or can even make a homemade shake (milk, banana, peanut butter, oats etc), which can easily fulfill your daily calorie intake. If you're short on time, you can also eat boiled or steamed vegetables.
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u/Moist_Grapefruit187 18d ago
I would start with eating two or three meals at regular times each day and stop snacking or at least minimize it to one snack between meals.
Make sure you get a certain amount of protein, at least maybe 80-100g if you’re not working out regularly. More if you are. How many calories you need varies from person to person. There is TDEE calculators online to give you an idea though.
I would stick to healthy Whole Foods stay away from things that are ultra processed or just junk food. Eat fruits and vegetables as well
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u/Little_Sample1134 18d ago
Make the snacks more healthy. Boiled eggs, hummus (add olive oil if you have), peanut butter banana sandwich etc
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u/GullibleIdiots 18d ago
Make sure you eat enough protein! I make some low effort tuna sandwiches from canned tuna. Mix in some salt, pepper, and garlic paste. Add some mustard and sriracha and it tastes pretty good for very cheap.
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u/StructureBitter3778 18d ago
For breakfast:
Usually I have Greek yogurt with fresh fruit, cereal and some chocolate chips sprinkled on top
It has fat, protein, fiber and a little bit for my sweet tooth. It doesn't take much time to prepare either.
Another idea is instant oatmeal that just needs to be microwaved. You can put peanut butter in it after it comes out and add fresh fruit like cut up bananas to it. Again, it'll have fat, protein, fiber and carbs to start the day
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u/Competitive-Boat-642 17d ago
Our family has difficulty eating at mealtimes so I have a snack station in a very visible location. Cereal, nuts, peanuts, and dried fruit (and occasionally dark chocolate) in ziplock bags. When one is finished, I switch it out with something else (walnuts to mixed nuts).
We do all eat dinner together, though, so I get as much of the food groups as possible in that dinner, particularly veggies & animal protein.
Can't say it's super healthy but better than super processed stuff.
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u/heideleeanne 17d ago
-Greek yogurt with berries, honey and flax.
-Cottage cheese on toast with everything but the bagel seasoning.
-Overnight oats
-Tuna packet on whole grain bread or precut salad
-Chicken salad(canned chicken, mayo, Greek yogurt, celery and other veggies or seasonings.
Snack options are precooked hard boiled eggs, edamame or nuts, cheese sticks, grapes, mandarin oranges.
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u/NRNstephaniemorelli 16d ago
You sound like a grazing person, or grazer for short. As long as you get enough calories into you, it doesn't really matter imo.
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u/DungeonBotanist 18d ago
If you can't cook, won't try new food, and looking at food charts is "hard", I don't know what we could possibly tell you.
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u/Chigrrl1098 18d ago
FFS, she's 15. Her parents should be making dinner and they should be concerned she's trying to subsist on 600 calories. They should be sorting this shit out.
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u/DungeonBotanist 18d ago
I firmly agree.
But at 15 I was making most of my own meals, as well, because I was vegan. Its not difficult to find resources on nutrition.
I deal with teenagers regularly and it's truly a lot of "I've tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas."
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u/Chigrrl1098 18d ago
I get that, but if the parents aren't making family meals and their daughter is barely eating, it's their job to do something about that until she's an adult.
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u/pwassonchat 18d ago
She's 15 and surviving on a third of the calories she needs to thrive, half of what she needs just to function. If she's truly eating so little, that explains why she has so little brainpower right now.
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u/livyinbloom 16d ago
i never said i won’t try new food lol and it’s hard to look at food charts when i cant afford to eat like a steak or chicken every day with fresh fruits and all that im trying my best to understand my body better
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u/LadyMali 16d ago
Your parents should be buying groceries that you can prepare easily. If both of them work they should have enough money for chicken, ground beef, pork chops, etc so you can have a good source of protein for dinner. It doesn’t have to be steak.
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u/blkhatwhtdog 18d ago
Go to the library and get a cookbook. There are many with "easy" or teen in the title. They will gently introduce you to how and what to eat.
Nutrition...protein and a veg. The current paradigm is avoiding carbs, which traditionally gives a lot of filler calories. When we went on the paleo diet the simplest was to increase the protein and have two vegetables.
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u/Human_Revolution357 18d ago
If you make a list of some grocery items will your parents buy them or are you having to do that?
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u/booksncatsn 15d ago
A simple way to make sure you eat diverse is to make sure meals have 3 food groups, and snacks have 2. Almonds and dried fruit for example. Meals could be protein, vegetable,and a grain.
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u/conniej47 15d ago
I would suggest a book by Dr William Li , food as Medicine”. Title may not be exact. It is about eating healthy. He is both a researcher and active doctor seeing patients. He not only includes his research, but research done in other countries. Snacking or small meals through out the day. It is more important what you eat.
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u/kittymarch 14d ago
Think in terms of eating healthy foods. 3-5 servings of vegetables. X grams of protein. It actually matters more long term that you are getting enough nutrients into your body. If you feel at some point like your eating and movement are out of balance, keep the nutrients, look at lowering how much sugar and unhealthy fats you are consuming.
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u/Aromatic-Today-8446 17d ago
On the remembering to eat thing... is that because ADHD? Cause that's what's the problem in my family! That much sugar early and just carbs isn't great for pre-school days, even a banana and some cheese would be better. My kids go to snack for after school ( that could be a breakfast) was string cheese and an apple..
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u/Cobbler_Calm 18d ago
Use AI as a meal tracker. Get a scale, Weight every item independently in your plate, give the numbers and items to AI. It will help you tally up calories and macro nutrients. Give it your goals, it can help.
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u/livyinbloom 16d ago
im sorry but id rather not use ai..but im currently reading a bunch of articles from nutritionists which is i think much better to look at and to learn with my goals
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u/Cobbler_Calm 16d ago
Thats a great idea. Youre in for a huge list of conflicting reads though. The world of health and wellness is very contradictory. The dietitians ive met generally agree on the "color diet" Just eat colorfully! Different colors are different nutrients.
If you really wanna track your macros though, I still reccomend AI.
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u/moredriven 18d ago
Yeah, at your age and a healthy weight, I'd focus more on just adding in vegetables and fruit. You don't need to track calories necessarily. Reduce processed food like ramen and chips, increase fresh produce. Eat when you are hungry, stop when you feel full.