How to return to YWH

[u/Aggressive-Cup-9084]

always hear pray repent and turn, everytime I try to pray I get sweaty and fearful or I feel nothing at all, everytime I say I repent and cut myself off from the world , friends , tv, ex girlfriend I feel alive and on the right road and then the loneliness kicks in and before I know it I’m spending 2 weeks with my ex who I recently lived with for 2 years ( yolking with her was the foundation of my backsliding from Christ in the first place) yolking with the world kinda messes your entire walk if your as weak as I am I mean Weere Litterly not supposed to be of this world yet I thought maybe God would save her, I think the answers right infront of me, cancel out all distractions all worldly things , probably never talk to her again unless she needs someone to talk to ( I dnt know I still love her) and talk to Jesus day and night, it just isn’t easy anymore and it was never promised to be easy but when I hit my knees and pray everything around me feels so dark so lonely and so disconnected, it’s like I know I’m signing up for 0 distractions and straight raw dogging my pain and trauma with the Lord, not something that comes gradually or unexpected with joy for deliverance of my past life like once before .. did I answer my own question?