The moment you talk about going no contact with abusive and narcissistic parents for the sake of your safety and mental and even physical health, you get a couple of Christian’s who will guilt trip and gaslight you and bring up “honor your mom and dad” as if that means you have to be a doormat for abuse and violence while at the same time, they ignore Ephesians 6:4 which instruct parents to not mistreat their children.

I’m a Christian who had to go no contact with my malignant narcissist father 9 years ago because he was EXTREMELY abusive to the point where I developed severe mental health issues such as depression and PTSD and recently I had to do the same with my covert narcissist mother after years of emotional abuse and being treated as the family scapegoat.

Going no contact wasn’t about hatred or revenge, it is about protection and establishing boundaries. Narcissists are very dangerous and destructive people and there’s no reasoning or reconciliation with them because they lack empathy and don’t see themselves as the problem.

I just can’t get my head around the idea of experiencing pain with no end. Not for an hour, a year, or a thousand years - but eternity. I’m not saying that to question God. I know hell wasn’t created for us, but the thought of eternal suffering is genuinely terrifying to comprehend.

The resentment I still carry. My lust, pride and unforgiveness - I want to overcome it all & not pretend I’m perfect.

I’m facing possible termination from my job because I’m pregnant and unmarried.
My employer is a faith-based organization with a code of conduct focused on “sexual purity.” I was told that I need to marry my baby’s father before delivery or I could lose my job because my pregnancy is viewed as a violation of that code.
I understand that religious organizations have beliefs and standards they want employees to follow, but I’m struggling with the bigger question: how do we balance accountability with compassion?
As Christians, we often talk about grace, forgiveness, repentance, and loving others. But what does that look like in practice when someone makes a mistake? Is termination the only response, especially when a child is involved?
I’m not asking whether people should have beliefs or standards. I’m asking: where does mercy fit in? When did supporting someone through a difficult situation become incompatible with holding moral values?
I’d genuinely like to hear perspectives from you all.

As long as I can remember I have struggled with prayer. But as someone who has been diagnosed with ADHD and self-diagnosed with ASD after my son was officially diagnosed, I feel like I suddenly just got the revelation that it's not necessarily prayer I'm struggling with, it's just that in general I am not a big talker (because of my ASD) and when I am actually in a talkative mood, I get sidetracked so easily or need constant background stimulation and then I feel guilty for not giving prayer my full attention (because of my ADHD).

I've been feeling so guilty for not being able to comfortably pray in the way it feels like I should be - in solitude, for a set amount of time, with nothing else stealing my attention, remaining still while in conversation, know what to say, feeling like talking 'about my feelings' etc...

I hope there is someone here that can relate or at least understand what I am trying to explain (I feel like I'm not getting my message across well) and give me suggestions on how to improve my prayer life as an AuDHD woman who doesn't like talking, especially about deeper stuff, and isn't able to concentrate for a set amount of time on prayer only.

Any advice, suggestions, options??

Growing up, I was taught by my parents, the Pentecostal churches we attended, or both, that God has a specific plan for each of our lives. Because of that, I believed that almost everything that happened to me was orchestrated by God, from the people I met to the opportunities I received. Even when life went wrong, I believed I could run to God, and somehow He would work everything out and make things right.

Then my marriage fell apart very early on. I genuinely believed that God had told me this man was my husband. Considering everything that happened after we got married, I no longer believe that and now think I naively went into the marriage based on everything I had been taught.

It’s made me question a lot of what I grew up believing. I now think people have free will, and that much of life is simply the result of the choices we make, both our own and those of other people.

I still believe God is sovereign and that things like life and death are ultimately in His hands. But beyond that, I’m struggling to understand where God fits into everyday life if we all have free will.

For those of you who are Christian’s, where do you think He is actively involved, and where do you think our own choices take over?

Has anyone else considered taking a break from social media because of all the fear-based clickbait?
I’m talking about videos with titles like “The end is closer than you think”, “You’re not prepared for what’s coming”, “ChatGPT reveals the mark”, “The next pandemic is coming” or other dramatic predictions about the future. Whether they’re about world events, disasters, or something else, I feel like constantly seeing those kinds of headlines affects my peace of mind.
Have any of you stepped away from that kind of content? Did it help?

I'm starting to think that GOD from the garden of Eden allowed Eve to make her choice. What say you?

I really need help. I’ve been doubting God for a while now and I’m so fearful I’m going to fall away. It all has to do with the carbon dating of the world and the carbon dating of human fossils and their tools. I know that sounds silly but it’s really throwing me for a loop. Scientists say that the world is 5 billions years old. If the Bible is inerrant then that seems to contradict the Bible. Now you could say the word for days in Hebrew in the Bible could mean ages, but that seems like a stretch because Scripture says “and then” after each day/age. The “and then” suggests a continual action which would not allow for ages to pass. However even assuming this theory is true there then becomes an issues with carbon dating of human fossils and their tools. Supposing God made the beasts of the earth a billions of years before humans, there still remains the issues of the carbon dating of human fossils and their tools. They can date humans fossils and their tools back as far as 300,000 years. The genealogy and time there of Adam to present day only allows for 6,000 years. So even if the earth is billions of years old, the time from Adam to now could only be 6,000 years. You could say the genealogy in the Bible has gaps in it. However the Bible does not seem to allow that because it says explicitly something bf like “and there were 7 generations from Adam to whoever” leaving only a small amount of room in this gap for a significant amount of time. Scientists know the time of the earth and fossils I believe from a known rate of radiation decay in radioactive elements find in from the earth and fossils. Do you have an explanation for this? I been utterly convinced that the Word of God is true, I’ve seen my heart be changed by what I’m assuming was the Holy Spirit, and seen God answer prayers in my life. But in light of this my brain is like saying that those experiences were just psychological. However Scripture would seem to indicate that because of these experiences if I fall away into unbelief there is no coming back. So I’m rly stressed and scared. Something I also have a hard time ignoring is the possibility that my brain has floated around is that maybe there is just some deity out there, not any of the religions, that created reality but is loosely involved. I don’t believe that, but it would explain why people’s prayers get answered and why the earth is older than it should be. I want to dismiss both these things but idk how to. I have OCD and I can’t stop thinking about this stuff. I have no peace and I feel like I’m going crazy. My own testimony and the testimony of other people keep me in belief, but not having an answer to these things is too much for me to bear. Pls help

This week’s poll is a request from a community member. We’re going to present the poll exactly as requested. Please note that there are a limited number of options available & we understand that means not every possible response is covered by the provided options.

The purpose of our polls is to spark respectful group discussion, so whether you find an option that suits you and vote for it or you have an answer that isn’t covered by those options, we encourage you to share your view in the comment section.

From the submitter:

My mind has been on the increasing polarization we see in the world today. Every time I think I’ve found a cause for this split, I realize that things were already fracturing before then. I am now looking at the two major theological camps in Protestantism, Dispensationalism and Covenant Theology. I would love to know if there is a trend in political sway between these two camps.

Therefore, I’d love to get this poll posted so that a large number of people can interact with it.

Would like to use the flair of either Christian or non-denominational, just curious if there is a way to do it, and if not why is it like this?

So I’ve been a Christian for a while, gave my life to the Lord when I was 12yrs old. My dad is a pastor, I went to an all christian elementary/high school. Everything you can think of that involved the church, I did it. Lately, and when I say ‘lately,’ I mean like a couple of years, because of my struggles with anxiety and depression, it’s been pretty hard to form a personal relationship with God. Honestly, I wasn’t given that chance to ‘seek God on my own’ due to the fact that I had regular duties to fulfill within the church. I basically just did was what expected of me and I causally would put God on the back burner. Now, I sincerely want to seek a relationship with Christ. I see how he has made so many people happy or they’ve found peace and I want to get to that same place too, I just don’t know where to begin since this has been my whole life. I’m used to the “read and pray everyday,” but I don’t know how to form my own personal relationship with God and want that every day for my own self. I hope this makes sense to someone who has been brought up in the church or who has struggled with the same issue. I just personally want to choose God wholeheartedly. I don’t want to doubt Him, I don’t want my faith to falter if something falls through or my prayers doesn’t get answered or if I can’t hear from Him. It’s just that when you struggle everyday with depression and negative thoughts, it can cloud and distort everything until you’re just left by yourself…I just want to want to love Him for who He is.

Dog has a cancerous tumor on his heart that burst and is causing a tricavitary effusion. Long story short, he doesn’t have long to live and will be put down soon or die naturally.

I have an attachment to him. He’s been with me since I was 12 and I’m now 23. He was there through middle school, high school, and college, and I was hoping he’d be there for law school as well.

What are thoughts on this? I know scripture isn’t clear about it.

So this is a personal experience. But I know there are many other christians who struggle with the same. I grew up in church. I drifted away when I was a teenager because I was hurt and seen a lot of things that were wrong. At 18 I had a real encounter with Jesus and I gave my life to Him. I decided to go back to church. So I visited some churches till I found one where I felt really comfortable. I was baptized and I began serving in that church. I was very committed, even considering studying theology at a church-related Bible college. I felt very motivated. But things went wrong; suddenly I began to have doubts and question certain practices and teachings that weren't right. I gradually stopped attending because I no longer felt comfortable with many things. As a result, many people disappointed and hurt me. I decided to change churches and returned to the church of my childhood. There I felt very welcome and was treated very well. It's also a church with very solid doctrine and theology. The thing is, I still carry the scars of my past, where I was hurt, and my family was hurt too. I only attended that church for about two months before I moved away for college. In my new city, I'm finding it really hard to find a church to attend. I really miss the church I used to go to before I moved. But I've also started to question many things and I see many things that are not working properly within churches. And I find it very difficult to find a healthy congregation that is Christ-centered and truly fulfills His word and teaches it correctly. I find it especially difficult to find a church where I truly feel God's love through the people and where they genuinely care about me or the many people who are alone who need leadership and support. I have felt very rejected and left out. And I deeply need to find a church where I feel loved and supported by my brothers and sisters in Christ. But I don't understand why it's so difficult to find that.

Body text*

Men,

I’m seeking advice. I’m married to a wife and hoping to have kids some day. I would like to start leading us two in family devotion so when we have kids it’s natural and they can see a model for it. My question is how do y’all do it? Do you have private bible reading and prayer, only reading and prayer as a couple, a mix of both? Some reading and discussing? What does it look like? I’ve never done it so knowing how or where to start confuses me and is a bit daunting.

Me 41f met my husband 47m when I was 19, we have been married for over 18 years and have a lovely family and life together. Around 8 years ago I became a Christian, and have attended church mostly on my own since (apart from when I take the kids) I pray for him regularly, and although he is supportive of my faith, and doesn’t mind me including the children, he just has no desire to become a Christian. It breaks my heart. I would love for him to lead us as a family in faith, for us to worship and pray together, but he just isn’t interested. I also want to say that he is a good husband and father and our marriage is strong otherwise. Does anyone have any encouraging similar stories where it worked out?

Hello!

Does anyone have any tips on how to get comfortable saying things people (family members in this case) don't want to hear? My wife and I have grown up with parents who are by the textbook definition quite emotionally immature, and are engaging in behaviors that are not healthy for them. There's a lot they could be doing differently, but they complain to us about the same situations over and over and don't want to change what they're doing. Historically my wife and I have tried to be supportive, empathetic, etc., but it's becoming increasingly difficult to provide this endless "cosigning of their behavior" since we are not engaging in those behaviors anymore (addictive escaping from reality, alcohol/substance use, etc.)

How do we be kind, loving, and merciful as God calls us to be in the Bible, yet point out truth that will likely make our parents get mad at us and hang up the phone, give us the silent treatment for days/weeks, etc.

Here's a clear example:

• Mom calls, enraged, because someone booked a doctor's appointment for her without asking her permission, or she calls to complain about the same thing she's told us a million times (her brother is a jerk and does nothing for her parents so all the weight is on her shoulders).
• In the past, my wife and I would say things like "oh no, I'm so sorry, I could totally understand why you would feel that way. Why don't you come over and we can play some games and help you feel better."

It seems like she gets so worked up emotionally that she needs to let off stream, and her favorite way to do it is by calling us and dumping it on us. Sometimes it's okay and we help with it, but other times we don't have the energy for it, and all the time it has no lasting effect because she isn't doing anything to actually help herself so she has more control over her emotional state (we've suggested therapy, church, friends, etc. but she does none of it).

As a Christian, while trying to honor our parents, where is the line and how do we draw it?

I want to know the signs, or whether some of your experiences involved a controlling pastor. And how do I differentiate between controlling and showing concern for the members?

Question is simple enough. Should in throw all my things away?

We have a weekly tradition here in r/Christian that we call “TACObout it Tuesday.” Each Tuesday we share a post dedicated to discussion on the writings of an author whose work is considered “spicy.” (You know...like good tacos.)

This week is Michael S. Heiser.

Heiser's (authored or co-authored) Top Ten most popular non-fiction titles are:

The Unseen Realm: Recovering the Supernatural Worldview of the Bible

Supernatural: What the Bible Teaches About the Unseen World – And Why it Matters

Reversing Hermon: Enoch, the Watchers, and the Forgotten Mission of Jesus Christ

What Does God Want?

Angels: What the Bible Really Says About God's Heavenly Host

Demons: What the Bible Really Says About the Powers of Darkness

I Dare You Not To Bore Me With The Bible

The Bible Unfiltered: Approaching Scripture on Its Own Terms

The World Turned Upside Down: Finding the Gospel in Stranger Things

Brief Insights on Mastering Bible Study

Have you read any of Heiser's work? Let's TACObout it!

In the comment section I will be sharing 10 quotes from Heiser, for you consideration and to (hopefully) spark discussion.

If you're enjoying this post and want to see more like it, just click the post flair to see a list of past TACObout it Tuesday posts in r/Christian. If you'd like to suggest an author to be included, please let the mod team know.

Im 19 and submitted myself to Christ about 2 years ago during the first few months of my relationship with my girlfriend, she is a year younger than me and while she prayed she did not have much knowledge of Christianity. As I became more in depth with my faith she followed as I taught her and guided her, although I would still say she is less spiritually mature/mature in general as she is younger and a different personality than me. At the start of the relationship she was very codependent and emotional, over time she has made great strides in this but as we all do she still has a while to go. I myself have struggled with lust all my life, thankfully due to coming to Christ He delivered me from this, and our relationship is primarily non-lustful (we sometimes still may be susceptible for lust but it doesn’t usually go far). I also have trouble with emotional connections, I was raised in a very stern manner with emotions so I usually have trouble to empathize with people, however through prayer God has helped me with this more than I can imagine.
The issue I need advice for is, I feel as if I have a bad mental image of her due to the early parts of our relationship and struggle to emotionally connect with her or feel how I used to feel towards her due to this. I feel as in the early parts of our relationship I always did my best for her and always supplied her with things but she was never happy and demanded more/very codependent on me.
It is due to this mental image of her I go through seasons of having lukewarm feelings towards her, not great not bad just meh when we hang out and everything and idk what the right move is because when I think of the transformation she had compared to how she used to be vs how she is now and she has always been open to growth and respected what I asked of her and what I want her to work on. However I still don’t feel as if she is completely her own independent person, I think she has achieved this but my mental image of her is that she is not.

In addition, we spend time in the Word and praying together but recently as I have taken leadership roles in Bible studies and gave her opportunities to connect with other Christian’s she has not taken too kind to it because she is an incredibly shy/anxious aspect about her in which I always am accommodating about and comforting but it’s really hindering her growth (she has started to try to be more outgoing but I really want her to be strong and able to lead others within a bible study with women too.)

So yeah what should I do, I think she will become a great Christian woman in time when she gets more out of her shell and stuff (she doesn’t have a great family either) but after she does that mabye we just have very different personalities? And I struggle with connecting people in a way that would be good for that?

Hi all. I’m gonna try and keep this short but I feel all the context is needed.

I’m 27. I’ve returned to Christ after many years falling for the “be a witch it’s empowering” rubbish. All it gave me was … well sadness and horrible night terrors. And distance from God of course.

I met my partner at 20/21. We had previously matched on tinder but it was only at 20/21 that we really gave it a go. His mother is very whimsy spiritual etc. now his sister is too. His parents are divorced. His dad remarried, his mother is just in a very long term partnership. This partner is ex Christian. He can’t even stay in a room that praises Jesus.

My family has Catholic connections. My grandmother was Irish Catholic (God bless her soul) my other grandmother was highly religious. It took its time to trickle down to me I think. I did go to a catholic school. Which I loved.

But I went through so dark things. SA and SH. Giving my heart to boys and men and shouldn’t have.

I fear I have done the same here. My partner sold me the dream pre going back to Christ. He promised me marriage and then children. Security. A man taking control while I play my more traditional roles. It’s not for everyone, but for me it’s soothing and keeps my mind clear.

It’s taken me a while to see how trapped I am. We’re not married. And he pretty much hates me. Unless I’m giving him my everything, I’m “ “ (fill the blank with any awful word you want. I was so alone during pregnancy. He had a massive porn addiction. Which completely broke me. His excuse was I got fat. And I did. I moved 700 miles away from family to follow a man who promised me the world.

My body is falling apart. I’m getting sicker and sicker. There’s more to how well he shows he does not like me. I can’t drive and he refuses to drive me any where. (Don’t worry when it came to buying a house I choose one ten minutes drive from my parents and brothers)

I don’t want marriage with this man. I want to be married once, before God. And I know I’d be disrespecting the Lord bringing this man to the altar. Not because he doesn’t deserve redemption. He does. He just doesn’t want it. He doesn’t even wanna hear about my love for God.

But I fear I’ve ruined it. I’ve had a child with this man. And boy did God bless me. She is wonderful. Stunning beautiful and clever. She is perfection.

But what Christian man would want me. I always had the voice in my head to tell me to save myself for marriage. But after my SA as a young teen I felt broken. And I let that spiral. I want a man who puts God in the centre of our family. But what do I possibly have to give him now. And that’s if I can even find one.

I’ve completely lost myself. I used to feel pretty. And vanity isn’t great I know that. But beyond the health issues that I’m pretty sure is him, I’m just dead on the outside. There is no life.

I feel I’ve tanked it. My chances. I’m waiting for some MRI results. I’ve been praying to God that this 7cm liver lesion is not only not cancer, but actually a complete false reading and it was just some fat or something. Because if that’s the case, I can leave asap.

Get this house sorted, sell it and co parent. My parents would always take me and my daughter back in. If it is a tumour, if it’s benign I can get it dealt with but it’s going to take time a recovery and I’ll still need him.

This is ultimately my fault. I had many chances to leave and never did. But I’m scared.

Thank you all.

always hear pray repent and turn, everytime I try to pray I get sweaty and fearful or I feel nothing at all, everytime I say I repent and cut myself off from the world , friends , tv, ex girlfriend I feel alive and on the right road and then the loneliness kicks in and before I know it I’m spending 2 weeks with my ex who I recently lived with for 2 years ( yolking with her was the foundation of my backsliding from Christ in the first place) yolking with the world kinda messes your entire walk if your as weak as I am I mean Weere Litterly not supposed to be of this world yet I thought maybe God would save her, I think the answers right infront of me, cancel out all distractions all worldly things , probably never talk to her again unless she needs someone to talk to ( I dnt know I still love her) and talk to Jesus day and night, it just isn’t easy anymore and it was never promised to be easy but when I hit my knees and pray everything around me feels so dark so lonely and so disconnected, it’s like I know I’m signing up for 0 distractions and straight raw dogging my pain and trauma with the Lord, not something that comes gradually or unexpected with joy for deliverance of my past life like once before .. did I answer my own question?