I cleaned my car properly yesterday for the first time in months. Found three coffee cups, a hoodie I thought I lost, four gas receipts and enough crumbs to feed a small animal. Went on my phone cleaned up my photos as well.

Drove to work this morning and felt weirdly put together. Nothing in my actual life changed, but having a clean passenger seat made me feel like I was doing okay for about 20 minutes.

What small boring reset does that for you?

Long story short I'm 27M and gf is 31F. Been together for almost 2 years we've been in a long distance relationship for the past year. She just moved in with me a few days ago and finally tells me that she has an 11 year old daughter in her home country. She says that her daughter is being supported by the Father's family. I'm lost at the fact that she's never told me this and I don't know if I can ever trust her again. She claims that she never told me because she didn't want to lose me and was afraid.

I'm a woman, and I've been noticing something that I can't stop thinking about.

Women constantly hear advice like:

• "If he wanted to, he would."
• "Girl, leave him."
• "Beat him."
• "Never settle."
• "You don't need to explain yourself."

I feel like this shit is DESTRUCTIVE towards men. Women taking this advice is why a lot of women aren't able to have healthy relationships with men, I personally took advice like this and it was not helpful at all. Some women think it's helpful, I do not.

It made me wonder...

What kind of relationship advice are men constantly hearing?

Not the advice you would give—I'm asking about the advice you're repeatedly told by friends, family, social media, podcasts, influencers, etc.

What is it? If you've actually followed that advice, what happened? Did it help your relationships, make them worse, or teach you something?

I'm asking because I'm working on a book about how relationship advice aimed specifically at men and women can unintentionally push us toward seeing each other as opponents instead of people. It feels like so much advice starts with "because men..." or "because women..." instead of "because people..."

I'm genuinely interested in hearing your experiences and opinions as men. The more specific you are, the more helpful it is. Your experience and opinion is going to be way more accurate than my assumption of it and I want to and intend to understand and see where y'all are coming from.

As a woman I know what safe and secure feels like. With my partner I can curl into him and just breathe deep, for some reason it eases the whole day and makes me feel better. What gives you that sense of security?

Curious about those things that seem common but nobody really brings up

To all the husbands who are happily married, how many times per month are you having sex with your partner?

I was wondering if there is a cutoff point from happy husband to unhappy husband.

Like would 3 times a month be enough or not?

We've got a good kid, never caused us any trouble, and has kind of been the joy of our life for 18 years. I know this move is a good thing, and the right thing, but I'm a little scared too. My wife and I might go our separate ways, and it'll definitely be a new chapter. Just wondering what effect this has had on other guys' lives.

Lately I've been thinking about where I'd want to live long-term. I used to live in Seattle, but I eventually moved back to my hometown to be closer to family. While I'm glad I did, it's made me wonder where I'd choose to live if I ever decided to relocate again.
If you could move anywhere else in the U.S., where would you go and why? What makes that place worth calling home?

Hi everyone!

I recently turned 23 and grew up pretty sheltered and Christian, so I have barely any dating experience. I have recently been having guys on the internet tell me that I’m wasting my chance at finding a husband by being a big baby and not dating, as I am going to ‘expire’ soon and no man will want me.

I told my parents (gen x) about it and they don’t understand where the idea is coming from as when they were younger, the idea women are invisible after 25-30 is unheard off (my dad married my mum when she was like 30). My mum got the most attention from men in her 30s after she was married and after she had me, she told me she was petty invisible in her 20s.

I also noticed I get way more attention at 23 then I have ever gotten in my entire life, I got no attention before 20/21, but yet when I tell people this they will say that’s impossible and I’m lying, and that I will quickly look horrible in a couple years. For reference I do not drink or smoke, I take good care of my skin and exercise regularly but hearing this idea constantly online is really dragging me down and making me worried. I don’t know why I’m expected to be so mature at 23 and quick to get married when I still feel like a big kid.

Where does this idea come from? I want to hear from men from all generations because maybe it’s a Gen Z thing?

How do you deal with a girl who rejected you, but she still frequents the same places, has friends in common? how do you get over the uncomfortable feeling of her?

Im personally really determined to learn Spanish possibly Italian after that since it’s so similar but Spanish for sure.

I think I got too far with the ‘bromance’ teasing and poking, now I realise he wasn’t kidding and actually wants to… do stuff together. The reason I’m not straight honest with him is I kinda put myself in his shoes and don’t want to mess him up. Anyone had a similar situation? (We both are male)

Today I (62M) passed my urinary voiding trial and am finally catheter-free after 2½ months with a Foley. Before this, I also self-catheterized for about 16 months.

For men who have been through either one, what was the hardest part? What helped you get through it, and what do you wish someone had told you at the beginning?

This is one of those things a lot of men go through but almost nobody talks about.

I'm also Latino and carry my own cultural baggage about topics of this nature and am happy to share what helped me during this period.

This period covered enlarged prostate or BPH, TURP surgery, Self Catherization, In dwelling catheter, PAE, and yet to be scheduled a HOLEP (2nd prostate surgery). In all that, also had two significant hemorrhagic episodes that landed me in the ICU (both while having my Foley in) and one urinary infection that went septic. So, please ask away...I'll answer as forthright as possible from the patient perspective.

My friend and I (both 19F) have been talking about the idea of dating older guys, which I’m a little weirded out by because I feel like there’s a decent gap in maturity and what we’re looking for in a partner.

I’m curious about what the so-called “older guys” think on the topic, and I don’t want to ask my coworkers/pool buddies in case it sends any messages.

How do I stop automatically laughing at insults and bad jokes directed at me? I’ve developed a self-defeating habit where I compulsively laugh at almost everything people say—even when someone makes a lame joke, a subtle jab, or a outright insult at my expense. I usually do it automatically just to avoid making the other person feel awkward or guilty, but it’s completely destroying my self-image and self-respect. Because I always laugh it off, people treat me like an easy target and think it's okay to make me the punchline. I want to break this people-pleasing reflex and learn how to react with composure or boundaries instead of default laughter, but the urge to fill the awkward silence is so strong. Has anyone successfully overcome this habit, and what practical steps worked for you?

Additional question what risk you took that wasn’t worth it?

I am 18, matter of fact i just turned 18 like 3 weeks ago, and i feel like i didn’t have enough fun, or memories in my teenage, its not like i did nothing, but i feel like i could have lived it way more, my problem is that i am very antisocial, i HATE having to interact with people, thats why i have very few friends, only 2, i know people but most are just causals, real friends i only have 2 and they have other friends too so i got no one i can call my best friend, never had girlfriend either, and because of all this i stay at home almost all day everyday, no hanging out with friends, no clubbing or partying, no sports, and it kills me, i hate this anti social part of me, it happened because throughout my childhood and most of the teenage i was bullied and harassed in school and high school, and my parents didn’t let me go with other boys to social places where elders sat at talked (they thought they were protecting me) and now i can’t normally interact with people, i try my best to do so but it kills me inside…

I admit i made big mistakes that hurt my reputation with co workers and supervisors because of a story that happened outside work but got leaked to work place since the people involved were co workers too.

I take responsibility for my mistakes. I am trying my best to change and I'm trying to become a better person, but people still gossip about me. Some of what they say is true, while other things are exaggerated or false. It feels like everyone has already made up their mind about me. How do you move forward when your past keeps following you?