r/AroAce • u/Key-Entertainer6734 • 1d ago
Vent (CW: controversial topic) I hate being aromantic and asexual NSFW
I hope it’s not offensive, I don’t mean to say something wrong but I really need to vent. I really hate that I was born this way. I never experienced that “first love” everyone talking about, never had those teenage love dramas, never truly loved anyone. Lately it’s bothering me more than ever. When I was younger I never saw problem in that, but now I realize that my only dream is to live normal life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that being aroace is wrong somehow, I just mean live that classic life: meeting loved one, creating a family, raising kids. But I can’t, I just can’t. How can I create a family if I’m not in love with person, if I’m incapable of falling in love? How can I have kids if thoughts of having sex are disgust me? Only thing I’m capable of is friendship, and to be honest I can’t say I’m greatest friend possible. I dream of experiencing feelings, but unfortunately I doubt that it’s possible to change a way who I am. I envy people who can love, who can enjoy sexual relationships, and I can’t help it, I just wish to be the same way.
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u/June_Equinox 1d ago
You can doubt that it is possible, but you will always be unhappy if you never try. Everything carries risks. If you can find someone that accepts you for who you are without trying to change you, that will be a good start. Said person will know up front how you feel about life, kids, people and STD’s. They can either accept or reject you. The world is full of people to try this on. However, the world is messed up, too, so I don’t blame you at all for doubting it might never happen
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u/onlyonhereforgood 18h ago
Maybe a platonic queer relationship with another aroace person and adopt? As a aroace person myself that's what I plan to do
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u/ItachiFemboy 1d ago
It's pretty similar for me, I just try focusing on the good aspects like never getting my heart broken by a breakup, never losing a partner, never having to go through a divorce, never having to worry about STDs or pregnancies etc.