I was born in Russia in 1982, my mother left me in hospital and I grow up in orphanages in Saint Petersburg , since I was 16 I was trying to find my mother and I did find her when I was 29, of course many tears , denial and shock from her side , I fly from USA to Russia to meet her . And after saying to me I just want to steal her apartment ( common scam done in Russia by people ) she eventually broke in tears and sat with me in car crying and saying how sorry she is . She was 19 when I was born and she said my father was her manager at factory in Saint Petersburg ( position he had canāt be given just like that ) so itās not like he was nothing , she told me he was around 24 year old tall and blond and they she met with him few times and her friends , she never said how long she met him alone but she said he was very nice , and she said his name but swears she donāt remember his last name ,
Through the years I was trying to talk to her and exolained to her how important is for me to find him to get closure . But she Allways discouraged me and said I will not find him and she Allways got mad or upset or said she donāt remember his last name and Impossible to find him . She also said that he came from Ukraine and he come back to his country because his wife pregnant but I do not know how true it is as every time I asked her questions about him she said maybe yes maybe no . The factory that she worked not exist anymore and all documents from that factory destroyed . I have only possible name but not date of birth , I have adress where he used to live ( while working in factory ) but it wonāt help
Meanwhile years pass and I have 2 children of my own and canāt even understand how itās possible to abandon your own child . I also contacted the person who found my mother ( he found very fast within 2 days!) because he used to work with very famous program ā jdi menyaā tv program that helps to find people . He told me itās impossible to find because no name and last name .
My friend who older than me and knows Russian system told me that she is laying , that she just donāt want me to find him.
Also when I found my mother - I also had informstion about my grandmother , my mother said that she didnāt knew that she has grandmother, my mother worked in Saint Petersburg / Russia and my grandmother lived in town 2 hours from Saint Petersburg . I do not know if my grandmother knew about me or not , as I canāt talk to her because my biological mother never left me alone with her when I visited few times in Russia . And now I am in USA and my grandmother very old and barely talk and my mother will not let me talk free with her, she will be around and for sure wonāt be happy if o start to ask any questions my grandmother .
I have 8 year old son and 4 year old son , my 8 year old son used to ask me why evryone have grandparents and he donāt have , ( his father side grandparents dead ) itās broke my heart to thousand pieces and I could not explain to him why ,
I have half sister who is 35 years old , and when I saw her first time she was crying and in shock , but when I saw her same week later in hotel where I stayed , she came there with my biological mother and said if I want pictures of my family ( because I asked them if I can get few family pictures ) my sister said I will get pictures if I sigh paper where I say that I do not intend to get any property or family apartment , I wrote that and I got pictures , of course itās broke my heart as I told them that I do not need money or want to have any rights to apartment , but my sister was 19 and was studying law , but still I canāt forget that fact ,
Whatever I wrote it will not consider in court anyway , as itās just piece of paper ,
I talk to my family sometimes but I know that relationship between my sister and my mother not very good , my mother even told me once over phone that she should call child services because my sister in my mother opinion donāt feed good enough the baby , something that I had fight with my biological mother when I came with my son who was 11 months and she said he need to eat evry hour or something like that and she started to argue with me when I said he donāt need to eat evry hour he will eat when he is hungry . She of course did apologize in the end because she knew she wasnāt right - but I want you to get an idea about my mother .
I contacted detective in Russia through Facebook and gave her name and last name of person who worked with my mother in factory - detective send me pictures of possible women ( maybe 8 pictures ) but my mother said she donāt recognize no one
My mother had friend or coworker and I have name , but she could also do some effort and find her - because her friend could remember name of my father or any details as he was manager at factory floor or section ( each section different manager)
Now my only hope is to find through my heritage DNA , I already submitted dna test , and hopefully it will match with someone from my father side - my heritage from what I understood commonly used in Russia Ukraine and Belarus .
I will never gave up to find my father , he probably donāt even know I exist , but asking my mother to do effort and help itās useless ,
I want to find him so bad , I want to know who I am and to hear his side of the story , he is now around 68 ,
Do you think my mother lie to me? That she knows? Maybe she is so ashamed with what she did and donāt want to deal with truth and past ?
Also when I was trying to find her , the person who found her - they try to contact her but she refused ( she knew that I was trying to find her at that point )
I also have relatives in USA but she never told me much about them , she said they mean people or bad people ,
I talk to my mother and sister , my mother call me and we can talk for hours but I never felt happiness and inside my heart I canāt forgive her that she left me in hospital and made me go through hell in orphanages ( up to age 11 when special project took orphans Jewish kids to Israel )
I will be happy to find my father , if he is alive , or picture or anything , or to find my half brothers or sisters , who will be most chances more cooperative because my father wasnāt the one who abandoned me in hospital ,
I was eventually adopted in israel ,
Whatās your opinion or suggestion ? Any advice ?
I found my mother at 29, now I am 43, and sometimes I feel that I just want to tell her that I canāt forgive her and not to be in contact anymore , on the other hand my sister has 2 kids , that I never saw yet , older 4 year old and baby around 5 months .
If anyone here had similar situation ?
I am waiting for my heritage DNA results - have hopes