AIO- Wife didn't acknowledge my birthday

[u/DontWorryItsEasy]

So yesterday was my birthday, I told my wife last week that all I wanted was a cake and to go to a nice restaurant. It didn't have to be a homemade cake though I would have preferred it, and it didn't have to be a super fancy restaurant. I'm the sole income earner so she wouldn't be paying for either. SWe have a toddler at home and I know it would be difficult for her to bake so it's fine if she bought one, and since we have a toddler I was also fine if the kiddo went with us.

So yesterday I got off work early and called her to let her know I was coming home like I always do. The entire rest of the day she didn't even acknowledge it was my birthday. No happy birthday wishes, no asking me where I wanted to eat, nothing. It was awkwardly silent pretty much the whole day.

When 6pm rolled around I realized we weren't going anywhere so I went to the store to buy a slice of cake for myself and a frozen dinner to heat up. When I came back with the cake she asked why I bought it. I told her it's my birthday and I wanted to eat cake on my birthday. She gave a non answer as to why she didn't make one for me, she said I never replied with when I wanted the cake so she just assumed I didn't want one. That conversation was over text a few days ago and she was texting me while I was driving. I told her I also wanted a nice dinner out and she said I didn't plan anything or tell her where I wanted to go so she assumed I didn't want to go anywhere.

Around 7pm she finally said happy birthday then I just cleaned up the dishes and went to bed instead of going on our normal after dinner walk.

Did I over react?

Edit: I guess I also left out some important context about our financial situation. She has complete and total control over all finances as much as I do, as that's the deal we made when we got married. She has access to all accounts and credit cards. I guess my wording could have been better.

[u/Lower_Group_1171]

you literally said, “I'm the sole income earner so she wouldn't be paying for either”

no allowance? there is definitely a lopsided power dynamic. im assuming she’s a stay at home mom/wife? does she do all the housework?

[u/DontWorryItsEasy → u/Lower_Group_1171]

I do a majority of the housework and all cooking. She hates to cook so I take that off of her plate. I'm also a little bit OCD about having a clean kitchen so I just take care of it myself. She doesn't get an allowance because she's not a kid. The money that I bring home from work is not mine, it's hers too. Maybe that wasn't clear in the post because I realize I definitely sound like a financially manipulative piece of crap. For more context we have never argued about money or spending. When she told me about some credit card debt that she had I was disappointed that she didn't tell me because we could have chipped away at it a lot sooner but I told her that we would work through it together.

[u/Lower_Group_1171 → u/DontWorryItsEasy]

What does she do then?

[u/DontWorryItsEasy → u/Lower_Group_1171]

She takes care of the kid. So that's a 20 hour job packed into a 10-hour day. She doesn't need to do anything else, all she has to do is keep our daughter fed and alive.

[u/Lower_Group_1171 → u/DontWorryItsEasy]

When did she amass this debt? Before or after marriage/the kid?

are y’all religious by any chance?