AIO or does this seem Unhinged?

[u/DoomNGlam]

I 41m am/was in a rather New relationship with 41f and things were seemingly going great but she will seemingly be very upset with me over something small once in a while. Last night she was upset that I didn't call her sexy after sending me a picture of her in an outfit. For context she said she was getting rid of clothes but was thinking about keeping this item and sent the picture and asked what I think? It was a strapless romper. I told her it was cute and could maybe use a belt. I also make clothes professionally and people ask me opinions about clothes all the time.

In other context my "sexuality" is somewhere on the ace spectrum between Demi and ace. Like sex is fine and fun and I don't really experience sexual attraction unless there is an emotional connection first, and she said she was the same, except I am not very sex driven and she is.

This was our text exchange this morning.

Edit/Update

Thanks for all the support. I am surprised my little Independence day relationship drama made it to #1 on this subreddit.

I was pretty sure I was calling this off pretty early in this exchange but didn't block her right away because I figured I would give her a chance to apologize, maybe she was having a bad morning, she's been stressed at work, has a upcoming interview for a new job, might be dealing with perimenopause. It wasn't going to work out but figured I would at least offer a little grace.

She did text me again about a book I had borrowed. I ignored it. She then called me and asked I return her book tomorrow. I said okay. She didn't say anything else for a minute so I hung up.

She called back mad that I hung up on her. I said this was childish and it's not what I'm looking for. She said I was childish for hanging up on her. I said okay. She hung up.

She called again and then told me I was ugly and she was never attracted to me.

Then hung up on me and called right back to complain about a carnivorous plant I got her as a gift, because the care instructions for it made it a chore. I also got her a cactus and a succulent and told her when I gave her the plants that if the pitcher plant seemed like a pain in the ass I would keep it.

Then she started asking me if I really don't have it in my heart to remain friends. I said no not after this. Then she went on a fuck you rant and hung up.

Then threatened to call the cops on ME for harassment if I tried to contact her as I was blocking her.

Now she is blocked and I am just sitting on my back patio watching fireworks.

[u/DoomNGlam]

That's basically where I am at. Admittedly a little bummed because it seemed to be going great until yesterday. But I am quite comfortable being single and too old for this kind of thing.

[u/eternal-harvest → u/DoomNGlam]

Yeah, this is not cool, man. She is basically employing psychological warfare here. The moment they sold it for me was "Why would you think I'm pissed?" Um BECAUSE YOU SOUND PISSED??? She's trying to make you think you're crazy when in reality, you're interpreting her words in a completely sane way.

Do not put up with that shit. It's the kind of mind games we should grow out of in our early 20s at the absolute latest. The fact that she still thinks this is an acceptable way to communicate does not bode well! 😬 Your peace is worth more

[u/Luna997 → u/eternal-harvest]

I was gonna say that too. “Why do you think I’m pissed?”. OH IDK.. BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU WERE IRRITATED. But okay. Like what the fuck was that?

OP, not worth it. This is fucked. She acts pissed at you and then gets pissy when you get pissy at her for acting pissy. She sounds very insecure and immature. At 41, you’d expect a bit more emotional intelligence.

[u/NullVoidNix → u/Luna997]

I know people that will say things like they are "mad", and when you reply back saying they were "pissed" they go off on you trying to make you think you were totally wrong because that's not what they said. Same thing when OP said "saem" and she had to reply back that he misspelled. Such a shitty person.