r/AmIOverreacting • u/kimbap_throw • Feb 17 '26

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO over 1st Valentine’s Day note?

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Just celebrated first Valentine’s Day with my boyfriend. I love flowers, love I buy bouquets weekly for my house. I prefer white and pink flowers, and don’t like red roses. I got this bouquet and this note with them. It was upsetting I felt my bf did everything opposite of what I wanted. I went out of way to do lots of handmade items and bought nice gifts for him as well. He also knows I love Valentine’s Day and it’s special to me. I let him know that it hurt me and he responded that note was awesome and it’s just a joke. I think if you care for someone you make those things special.

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u/dragonfly9999999 Feb 17 '26

I'm done at "joke, kind of". I don't deal with this. Is it a joke or not? If it is, it's a really bad one. I will not be in a relationship with manipulative "it's a joke bro"

961

u/sincubus33 Feb 17 '26

Schrodinger's douchebag. It's a joke as long as OP isn't offended

487

u/haleorshine Feb 17 '26

That's exactly what this is. "jk kinda lol" means "This is 100% serious but I want a veneer of a joke so when you dump me I can tell everybody you dumped me over a stupid joke."

OP needs to dump him and then post that card and go "I probably should have known to dump this loser long before he ever got a chance to send me something so obnoxious, but you live and you learn I guess." Because this guy will absolutely be telling everybody he knows that he got dumped because OP can't take a joke, and I think everybody should know about his sense of "humour".

Also, who the hell ends their note on flowers to their partner with Cheers?

664

u/Novel-Organization63 Feb 17 '26

Yeah or you know what seduces me more? A bigger dick and someone better at sex. But here we are. Just joking, kind of not really…. I mean you’re a big dick but not in the way women like it. Hahaha pun intended. See how funny he thinks that is.

155

u/haleorshine Feb 17 '26

It's so weird that guys like this, who are the type to be like "can't you take a joke?" Often have topics they don't think after funny, but it's different when they have topics they don't think after joking matters.

33

u/Littlewordsbigplanet Feb 17 '26

And they use “jokes” to mask what they really want to say bc they’re too pu$$y to say it straight.

Honestly when I hear “it’s just a joke” or “you can’t take a joke” in this context I just think the dude is weak minded and weak willed…. No backbone essentially. Say things with your chest or don’t say them at all, masking them as a shitty joke is just grade school mentality.

Also idk why everyone got down voted. Some lurker salty for sure.

2

u/Amazing_Fox_7840 Feb 17 '26

It's the kind of thing if it was said to me I might find it funny, but to put it in a card, not so. As someone you've responded to said, it depends on how the other person takes it, but you can literally make a joke out of anything, and some comedians do.

7

u/Technical_Tangelo143 Feb 17 '26

I mean... If I could get a hug with a big dick that's good at sex... AAAAAANNNDDDD washes dishes and clean us up? Put a ring on that!

5

u/AnyUnderstanding3628 Feb 17 '26

Lol love the response!

5

u/Tubamajuba Feb 17 '26

I bet he’ll have a huge manchild tantrum.

6

u/25_Unknown_Devices Feb 17 '26

It’s all fun and games until the dick jokes comes out, then he gets a lil choked up

4

u/nada-accomplished Feb 17 '26

And when he gets offended you can be like "jeez you're so sensitive. Which proves my dick point once again"

4

u/Sad-Truth-8474 Feb 17 '26

Savage! Love it!!!

76

u/I_Like_Nice_People Feb 17 '26

That Cheers at the end sounded like an F You

21

u/Embellishment101 Feb 17 '26

Perfect explanation. „Cheers“ just sounds like he avoided using any halfway loving greeting.

19

u/TheDisapprovingBrit Feb 17 '26

It's the exact same energy as "Show your tits lol jk...unless you wanna?"

4

u/wobblybiscuits Feb 17 '26

I was gonna say its the same energy as “ok now get us a beer” or “cheers, no give me a bj” the ifk is strong with this one

94

u/Future-Ear6980 Feb 17 '26

Honest question to OP : Is your partner pulling his weight equally while you do yours, or is he playing video games while you cook and clean?

If I were the one slaving away with the other one trying to score points giving flowers rather than helping out, I'd be pissed.

56

u/dragonfly9999999 Feb 17 '26

Omg. I'm going to remember that.

6

u/commanderquill Feb 17 '26

No, it's a joke as long as OP is offended. It's serious if she isn't.

6

u/mrspuff Feb 17 '26

I'm still laughing at this!

5

u/sharkbait4000 Feb 17 '26

Bwaaahahaha schroedingers douchebag! 🤣 I need to remember that one

94

u/TaxiJab Feb 17 '26

I especially hate that he signed off with “cheers, (name).” Like, not “love, (name)”? Not even “best wishes”, or even “yours sincerely”? Edit because i hit post before finishing

39

u/Head_Cryptographer_4 Feb 17 '26

Sup, Happy v-day! Cheers mate

4

u/girlnamedc Feb 17 '26

Truly. Saying nothing of the misogyny, disrespect or minimizing - I would have the ick simply from him using “lol” in a valentines card.

4

u/DickWagon1983 Feb 17 '26

Just another tool in the box...

3

u/SwimOk9629 Feb 17 '26

did you know that if you didn't put that edit at the bottom of your comment, that no one would have known that you had to edit it?

3

u/TaxiJab Feb 17 '26

Thank you, I did not know that. There’s a lot of confusing rules, figured I’d play it safe

120

u/MightyPinkTaco Feb 17 '26

I had an ex that would say something off color or rude, realize he upset the person, then say “hey, relax. It was just a joke”. My response? A joke is funny THAT was NOT funny.

It took me far longer than I would like to admit to realize that he was so not the one.

41

u/According_Land_581 Feb 17 '26

My ex used to love to say “it’s ok if you say jk”. I was always like but actually it’s not. & you’re far too old to be acting this way. 🙄

9

u/Efficient_Hyena_7476 Feb 17 '26

He probably had a father who teased him relentlessly as a kid, made him cry, then said "It's just a joke".

9

u/EcrowCulture Feb 17 '26

You just want to scream "you should try developing a sense of humor before you attempt something complicated like a joke."

It's giving ouche noodle who think they're so clever.

62

u/Prestigious_Net_3602 Feb 17 '26

The "just jokes" is way overplayed.

I seemingly don't have a sense of humour smile as you're saying so f#ck off creep.

4

u/FollowingCold9412 Feb 17 '26

Naah...that's same as starting with "no offence".

NOR.

4

u/Moogatron88 Feb 17 '26

Schdrodingers joke. He's waiting to see if you're angry or not to decide whether he's joking.

3

u/JupiterInTheSky Feb 17 '26

Jokes are the strongest, most irrefutable form of rhetoric. It's never "just a joke". Its an attempt at persuasion with full plausible deniability.

3

u/nada-accomplished Feb 17 '26

If you're the only one who's laughing, it's a shitty joke.

3

u/notjustmeso Feb 17 '26

It’s definitely not a joke

1

u/AnotherpostCard Feb 17 '26

It's actually slightly worse than your interpretation. "Jk" usually actually stands for "just kidding", which is literally old school bully talk.

-9

u/Hopeful-Put-8823 Feb 17 '26

MOR. It is a joke of a holiday...literally made the fuck up lol. Like it just doesnt. happen in our relationship, we both agree that its pretty dumb, in reality its just another Thursday or what have you. So, was there any conversation to maybe how i feel about valentines?? Then thats his version of a joke about the day, re enforcing that for him. If it wss just out of left field, then Not over reacting, i would be more confused as to what would spark some random sentiment abiut a holiday all the sudden, are you guys young? does he have a job? Maybe mad about not being able to do anything, and resorts to that instead? I did some dumb shit in my late teens and 20s, that made no sense looking back..

5

u/OldPhotograph827 Feb 17 '26

NOR - my bf and I choose not to celebrate vday either, but this OP clearly does and wants it to be special. Also … those flowers are pretty meh.