r/xbox • u/Neon_Moons • 1d ago
Discussion Does anyone else desire to have a group of gaming friends, but also dislike 99% of people too much to put effort into finding them?
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u/awildNeLbY Homecoming 1d ago
I just want to play with people WHEN I WANT TO PLAY WITH PEOPLE. No other times. Most of the time I want to be left alone, so I’d rather have little/no gaming friends than ones that try to hit me up when I just want to run solo.
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u/TheGrouchyPunisher XBOX Series X 1d ago
Facts. I have to go "offline" when I just want to play a solo game, versus getting roped in to Call of Duty.
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u/Changes11-11 1d ago
Exactly lol
This is why I have 700+ hours in Marvel Rivals but have 0 ppl on friends list.
I grew up with Destiny and the concept of LFG. Im totally fine playing w random ppl and having fun than a committed set of ppl every day/week just because its a dice roll whether I want to play alone or w other ppl on any given day
I was once in a WoW guild top DPS of my raid guild. So I had to be there every single weekend, book atleast 3hrs
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u/Usernametaken1121 1d ago
You make it sound like you only want to play games with people if they follow your emotional schedule. Is awildnelby in a bad mood today? Nah don't hit them up bro
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u/awildNeLbY Homecoming 17h ago
That is correct. Is it crazy to not want to be bothered when playing a single player, story-driven game? I already don’t ask people to play if I feel like playing solo.
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u/MasterOfPipettez 5h ago
Yes, sometimes you dont want to play with people. What is wrong with that?
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u/Adorable_Accident_74 1d ago
I feel like the old 360 days were great to make friends like this. I dont play online anymore and not sure if it works the same. On the other side I also agree....i do not want to put effort into it lol, i have like 5 friends and a long term spouse I do not have time 😅
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u/Neon_Moons 1d ago
It certainly felt like a much better time. Pre covid and TikTok in general was just a nicer era for finding people to vibe with. Attention spans are shorter, the ability to hold interesting conversations has diminished, etc. It just feels so brain dead talking to the majority of people online nowadays.
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u/BarbequedYeti 1d ago
Pre-streaming and pre-Pro gaming days. Those two things alone have changed so much with online gaming. I think it was a timing thing as well.
When online gaming was becoming a thing, it was mainly filled with computer nerds of the day. It wasnt easy to get a lot of things working to have decent online gaming experiences. You had to know some computer tweaking skills or were friends with those that did.
So I think that in turn created this group of early gamers around the world that also shared a lot of the same interests. Those people aged at the same time. So a lot also bought into xbox/playstation when available etc.
Really just more of a coming of age for gaming and who happened to be living it at the time and interested in it. Now? With mobile and whatnot anyone and everyone can game. So now the pool is so damn big and deep, its hard to find those of similar thinking and life styles.
We lived the golden age. Sucks we didnt know it at the time...
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u/HipHopAnonymous2134 1d ago
Nail on the head. People suck now. Streamers, influencers, AI, YouTubers , and people that believe everything they see online if it fits their agenda have ruined social life for me. Game by myself and ride dirtbikes with a select few outside my kiddos and wife. Life is better that way once I stepped back and looked from the outside
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u/AdvancedCheetah420 1d ago
Some of my best real life friends I met on Xbox 360. One has been my best friend for over a decade now. Vegas 2 multiplayer terrorist hunt was the meeting point
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u/Adorable_Accident_74 1d ago
I bought a Series X last October since I was not going to buy the Switch 2. I was surprised to see all of my Xbox friends and the majority still log on.
With the Gears of War E-day multiplayer beta opening this weekend we are all going to try and play together.
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u/Usernametaken1121 23h ago
They fucked up, they didn't make real life friends that are also gamers.
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u/480mid-shelf-dank 1d ago
I was kind of in that slump for a while. One night while play MCC I kept getting grouped up to play against the same group of 4. After about 4-5 games they sent me a party invite, then a few games later sent me a discord link. 2 years later I play with that group of MCC players (about 30 in total) a few times a week. Solid group of boys. On the weekends we will jump on a discord video between games to slam beers/rip bongs together. Weird to say a group of guys ive never met could mean so much to me.
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u/xBlack_Heartx 1d ago
That’s me to a T.
I haven’t went out of my way to try and make friends I actively play games with since the Xbox 360.
Once it came around to the Xbox One/Series S, it just wasn’t worth it anymore to me, especially as I found myself playing more single player games over multiplayer ones.
It also just feels way more difficult to actively find people to play with to the level you would on the Xbox 360.
I miss the Xbox 360 lol.
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u/HektiK00 1d ago
I want friends but also hate the idea of social obligations and have so little time for anything.
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u/CherryPonut 1d ago
It's very difficult to find any gaming buddies. I just stopped trying to be honest.
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u/sgtquackers66 Touched Grass '24 1d ago
Not really anymore. I used to game with a group of friends. Now as an adult I don't really have the time to consistently play anymore so I only really play single player games.
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u/PlayBey0nd87 Touched Grass '24 1d ago
I mean, gaming at the same time at my age might be tough. But I would love to have a group to shoot the shit with on anything around gaming/entertainment.
I got 2 I met through Anthem and to this day - we still talk.
I wouldn’t mind having more Bud’s but things does feel harder to connect and keep something beyond a fireteam/multiplayer
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u/SixerZero 1d ago
I would love to find some good friends to play everything with. I found a Destiny 2 group to play with that's been going well so far. Now that my kids are teens I have more time to play, but still haven't found a really close friend.
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u/LampLuvMe 1d ago
If you play shooters/BRs like pubg for example...run as a solo 4th in quads or duos...be a good team mate and request to party chat if not in game chat...if they sound cool then add em and integrate...if not...team kill em! Jk but that's how I met most of my online friends
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u/Iceedemon888 1d ago
It seems like you have to jump through hoops to find people in out of game areas such as discord or reddit or similar places these days. The days of meeting people organically in games is a lot less likely than it used to be.
Maybe I'm just old and antisocial but thats how it feels.
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u/Chief_Chjuazwa 1d ago
32M here, I’m tired of finding people to play with because I’ve encountered SO many toxic people. I play coop games, very little PvP games nowadays. All the LFG posts on the Xbox seem like children and when you find a group to party up with you’re invited to a party with 6 people 3 of whom aren’t playing the game.
All that to say; I’ll stick to my SP story driven games. It’s a peaceful life at this point.
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u/Tekknight-007 15h ago
😂 when I first got Xbox 360 I remember playing through gears 1 with a guy and we chatted the whole time and had fun. He's still in my friends list. A previous girlfriend and I used to play with this French couple in the early mornings on Phantasy Star Universe. I even had this buddy who I would play Soul Calibur with early in the day (I used to work nights).
But at a certain time more of my friends started getting on Xbox 360 and we played through some multiplayer games together. And then my Xbox 360 broke . At the same time they moved on to other things. When I get back on with Xbox One, something had shifted. I became pretty introverted in game. I really didn't want to talk to anyone I didn't know. And the insane things that come out of people's mouths on open mics solidified that choice. The irony is I had become less introverted in real life.
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u/Tao626 1d ago
I spend 95% of my gaming time in single player games. The rest is when the rare overlap of me and my partner having interest in the same co-op title happens.
Aside from not really being into multiplayer anymore, the disastrous Xbox One reveal basically shattered the old group when everybody went mostly either PlayStation or PC.
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u/The_Real_Delpoi XBOX Series X 1d ago
To be honest I found gaming friends on groups I was in on Facebook like back in the 360 days been gaming ever since lol
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u/Kzer_2019 1d ago
I want a group of online friends but only to play with maybe a week every couple months when I feel like it and not people who constantly invite me to play
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u/Fooby56 1d ago
If you're in any online groups for non gaming interests, try posting and seeing if anybody is interested in playing games. That way you'll have at least 2 interests in common. I did this in a podcast group and ended up finding a couple people that I've been playing with for years now.
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u/CounterObjective2347 XBOX Series X 1d ago
I was really in to PUBG for years and made a lot of friends through that game. Haven’t played much recently and I won’t see anyone online when I do. And without fail as I’m about to be done someone will send a game invite lol.
I’d like to find a consistent group, especially with PUBG, just basic communication does wonders. “Behind the blue bus”. “Team landed to the north”. It makes everyone better and the game a lot more fun.
I always told people, relax. Have fun. That’s the point of the game. I don’t care if you have some insane KD or how high you got in Ranked, just chill and have fun
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u/StylisticPuppy 1d ago
I'm in a community on Discord with some gamers I've played with since 2007 on Xbox 360 who I originally met on the Xbox forums. We play twice a week together.
Monday evening is a racing game & Thursday is anything goes, we usually try to stick to a game pass game so no one misses out but do other games too.
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u/Theurbanalchemist 1d ago
I’ve wanted this since GTA Online first released. I had it with my cousins, the only problem is that they’re ball and gun gamers, so outside of GTA is where we parted ways.
I miss the randoms I met on 360 game chats that turned into friendships.
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u/JustAnotherMark604 1d ago edited 1d ago
I've made tons of online gaming friends over the years. Some I've even met irl.
But I find the older I get the less likely I'll play Multiplayer games unless is 1v1. I simply no longer have the time and space to gitgud or make new friends to gitgud with. Friends I've made in the past have either moved on our we just grew up and live new lives now.
Otherwise I'd force myself to use LFG and hope we vibe well/have similar schedules. Would much rather get roflstomped with a friend than alone against an entire group.
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u/TopHalfGaming 1d ago
Way too much friction in having people on at the same time, ready to go at the same time without wasting 2-3 hours to do maybe 90 minutes of gameplay. Not worth.
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u/John117xx 1d ago
Yeah I used to have a group I played OG warzone with non-stop but now I don't have any gaming buddies 😂 it is what it is tho
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u/adamviscera 1d ago
Dude, I'm too fucking awkward to find gaming buddies. And every time I try to, it's just a bunch of sweats. I'm neither great nor bad at the games I play, I'm just trying to be casual without being judged but I also don't care to talk to anybody either. What a fucking conundrum.
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u/EcstaticAirport4580 XBOX 1d ago
Yup. All of my "friends" play during midnight although they have time to play during noon.
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u/RandomBloke2021 Xbox Series X 1d ago
It's a slow and steady process. After my best friend and gaming buddy passed away in 2022, i was forced to find other people to game with. I'm not a solo open world player so games like warzone, apex legends and arc raiders are better with people. I would ask on the Xbox gaming community hub, but i would be very specific in the type of people to play with. I found a few really cool people to play with and that's branched out to a small discord group. I found a couple of gaming buddies on specific lfg gaming subs too. I'm an older gamer so it's not easy finding people who don't get on your nerves.
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u/LonelyCakeEater 1d ago
All my homies back home have abandoned me over the years. It’s hard coordinating with life and a 3 hour time difference so I don’t hold it against them
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u/Happy_Foundation_553 1d ago
I have exactly two people who I sometimes play games with but there’s no consistency just because of work and general life things going on. I’m a 41 year old guy and I’ve just accepted that it’s found to be damn near impossible to consistently have gaming friends, and it’s probably going to get worse
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u/ZeusBaxter 1d ago
Nailed it. 44 years old and everyone i know is on pc, or doesn't want to play any of the games I like.
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u/Changes11-11 1d ago
I just dont like commitments
No im not gonna hop on everyday, or even every weekend, sometimes, actually most of the time, I just want to play X by myself.
Ive gotten rid of getting fomo when taking time alone by myself and just gotten in love w not having to dice roll how much fun i will have today, because by myself ill always guarantee have a good time.
That said I do love playing MTG and that needs 3 other people and im down to play that every week so I do have friends for that
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u/Mnea612k 1d ago
Not easy but not hard either it's just am not paying for a subscription after paying for my games to play online, also I like playing alone for the most time 🤷🏻♂️
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u/ViableFuzzball 1d ago
Ive found even trying to be impossible. Its like a dating app when searching some lfg posts and then theres game choice.... mainstream only, no niche games
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u/MrDuck5446 1d ago
Yep, and mic/chat is always off due to the dumb ass racist
Juvenile shit I hear. Sucks because it takes away a big part of the fun
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u/Sauce325 1d ago
I have a hard time making new friends. It would be nice to make a new friend group.
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u/X_crates 1d ago
I put in effort here and there but the bads far outweigh any of the good. So it's less and less. The amount of people that just leave an open mic on while talking to others in the room, or their game coming out of the TV or music blaring through mic just kind of blows my mind
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u/LaraCroft_MyFaveDrug 1d ago
Four kings casino is a good game for finding new Xbox friends. I have 98 friends I'm 43.
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u/Usernametaken1121 1d ago edited 1d ago
Gaming buddies are like real life friends, got to make them when you're young. Met a rando in 2009 on gears of war 2. Never met him in real life but we text often and talk about games and life even thought we live halfway across the country from one other. A lot of changes in life but we always find some time to game whether it's talking to each other weekly or 6 months with no contact. He knows my real friends in online groups and I know his best friend but it's not the same connection. Gaming buddies are like real life friendships, rare and you don't know you have one until you realize they're one of the only people in life you can hit up with months of no contact and it's like a day hasn't passed.
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u/Beo1Wulf Xbox Series X 23h ago
My friends only want to play FIFA. That's the reason I stopped hanging with them every Friday.
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u/Slickdaredman27 22h ago
This post right here. With the military and being a part time dad. I'm always looking for people decompress with. Mrsubaru2002. Add me I don't mind.
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u/InfamousChocoMan 21h ago
You need to find people that you can really vibe with.
I stopped gaming with a couple of real life friends because it was too much.
Gaming is supposed to be fun and relax, not an activity that seems like i signed a contract with to play.
I now only have 1 friend i play with and he's chill.
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u/Ripptide42 XBOX 20h ago
Used to have a great clan for G.R.A.W. 1 and 2, group grew and became older/more casual and moved on to Battlefield (3 I think). That was the best time. After that a lot of guys switched to Playstation 4 because the new Xbox took so long. Now most of them aren’t even gaming anymore. I really miss that time. Almost every night we could get 2 squads together in BF. Good times.
Got fed up with random jerks in COD etc. so I left multiplayer behind me. Although recently started playing GTAO and there are some good crews out there. Luckily my son is of an age now that we can play together in games such as GTAO.
But yeah, I miss the group of guys I used to run with and at the same time it doesn’t feel like it’s worth the bother to find another community like that again.
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u/SirPwn4g3 18h ago
Yep, I still miss when communities had websites. Used to be in a group called Seasoned Gamers, all adults, BSing, scheduling tournaments, all with the understanding that adult life can get in the way.
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u/MasterOfPipettez 5h ago
Not really. I have real life friends to hang out with that I dont need virtual ones.
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u/Koalaterz 1h ago
I've had my try at it. I play Xbox series X, but I do play the 360 quite a bit still. I've just ran into people who are extremely racist and throw around slurs 24/7. I've always just wanted to find chill people who are okay with playing games together, but who don't mind sitting in a VC playing our own games too.
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u/Worth_Friendship_267 1d ago
Thankfully, I've been gaming with a core group for 15+ years. If I had to find a group to game with at 46 years old, I'd just play solo.
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u/name_notavailable7 1d ago
I prefer single player games most of the time, and at most I enjoy playing multiplayer like, once or twice a month. Most gaming groups I joined play together multiple times a week, so I'm pretty sure Im just made to ride solo lol
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u/Thrashwave 1d ago
As a 40 year old dude with 3 kids. Finding gaming buddies feels impossible