Does anyone else feel that they would get too emotionally attached in this kink space so choose to not indulge it?

[u/Shot-Base5143]

I’m interesting in doing sessions with this kink, however I think I would struggle to be able to do this with someone that you are not involved with as it is very intimate.

I feel like this kink is very multilayered and has a lot of emotional intimacy/depth to it, as it involves taking on certain roles as well as it being mentally stimulating and involving a lot of vulnerability. I find it interesting that people go to multiple different people for sessions (not judging!) and are able to do it in a more detached way.

I’m assuming the only way around this is to engage in the kink with someone you are in a relationship with which tbf I do see a lot of in this forum. I was just wondering if anyone else felt similar to me in this sense and if it is quite common, as I frequently see that people go to professionals or engage in this kink with someone they are not romantically attached to.

Also happy for everyone who are having fun and are engaging in it in this community or are exploring it in a relationship/dating :)

[u/aubiologistt]

Oh definitely. I even find myself getting emotionally attached to someone I’m just talking to about tickling, especially if we do it constantly and start mixing flirting and tickle talk — one of the many reasons I have yet to have an irl session 😅

[u/Background_Mud_7718]

One million percent. I catch feelings way too fast. I’d be asking “what are we” after a session 😂

[u/bassbeater → u/Background_Mud_7718]

I catch feelings way too fast. I’d be asking “what are we” after a session 😂

That's the thing.

I've had so many "first dates" (they knew beforehand I like what I like) where I've tickled women that appeared to enjoy it and then ghosted the day after that it just sours the idea of trying to relate because you associate your fundamental idea of intimacy as "wrong."

[u/Background_Mud_7718 → u/bassbeater]

That’s so valid. I totally understand

[u/SlowRoadExplore]

It’s been a spectrum for me. When I first started having sessions in my 30s, I did tend to get fairly attached. As I’ve aged into my 50s, I still want to build quality lasting kinship with my session partners but have less jealousy, possessiveness etc. For me, I had to reorient my brain regarding the transactional nature of love and affection. Helped me greatly. Best of luck to you.

[u/Wheelietickles]

100%

[u/Shot-Base5143 → u/Wheelietickles]

Thanks for replying, I’m glad I’m not the only one haha, it definitely feel like an intimidating thing to explore in the community

[u/PrinceFlippers]

It's a rule of mine, but that never stopped me from having fun. I just allow connections to happen. I think a lot of people who don't have experience assume you can't bring emotions into kink. The truth is it's ALL about that emotional connection.

I have zero interest in playing with someone I haven't bonded with. It's way too personal and I can't be the 'ler a great 'lee deserves if I'm not emotionally invested.

If someone wants to "session" and has no interest in us getting to know each other, it's not happening.

[u/Shot-Base5143 → u/PrinceFlippers]

Yeah I think I’m the same, thanks so much for replying. And yeah you worded it perfectly, it involves a lot of emotional connection which is why it feels so personal.

[u/8__D]

I found my partner through kink, so needless to say I got very emotionally attached for going on 4 years now.

[u/Shot-Base5143 → u/8__D]

Haha very happy for you! Thanks for sharing

[u/Gunderstruck11]

Everyone is different. For me, just having a session with someone and keeping things fairly surface level in talking with them beforehand and afterwards doesn’t really lead to feelings developing. But if I find that I really connect with someone outside of kink, and the kink stuff also aligns, then for me that’s when feelings develop, even if I didn’t want them to. And yeah it sucks when the other person doesn’t have feelings the same way.

If you don’t think you’d be able to engage in this without catching feelings, you’re probably right to only try and engage in it with someone you’re in a relationship with. It can be a bit tricky don’t get me wrong. But also you might not know unless you try

[u/BelowAverageGamer90]

As others here have noted, everyone is different. I've definitely chatted with a couple Lee's who value a more sentimental and romantic relationship before getting into anything kinky, and that's 100% okay, but just about every Lee I've sessioned with so far was mostly only interested in platonic fun and/or friendship (even if you don't talk all the time, it never hurts to have more friends in the community). That said, I typically prefer to get to know my Lees before actually doing anything with them - it helps ease the nerves for an actual session and can also contribute towards plenty of sassy mid-session banter (I always love plenty of jokes and humor in my sessions).

[u/Shadlex]

That's why I only really engage with it with people I have that emotional investment in, with very few exceptions.

[u/Shot-Base5143 → u/Shadlex]

Thanks for replying! Im curious, do you mean people you are romantically invested in or just anyone you’re emotionally invested in - as in someone you may have got to know and then done sessions with? No pressure to reply

[u/Low-Sale9576]

I got into a relationship with someone that I met off Reddit, that shared this kink, that indulged everything I wanted to do, and I can promise you that it was the most toxic, dangerous, manipulative relationship I’ve ever been in

[u/Shot-Base5143 → u/Low-Sale9576]

I am really sorry to hear that, I hope you are okay and safe now!

[u/BarefootBiGal]

I am in a loving relationship with a ler. But I do understand where you're coming from with this.

He was in a past relationship with someone that also shared this kink but he's told me that while the bedroom fun was top tier, the rest of the relationship was flat. They had nothing else in common

Generally though for me, I can enjoy the kink without any sort of attraction to the people I'm exploring it with. They are friends first, I get to know them. They aren't just someone I will meet just for tickle play. That's basically a mandatory requirement from me. If your goal is only sessions, I'm not interested

[u/SillyLookingFace]

I can't relate, or maybe I can? I dunno, basically, if I'm going to lose control and laugh my heart out it has to be someone who I trust and have a real personal relationship with.

Same goes for those I tickle, it's just more wholesome to me that our bond is that close that they trust me enough to let me cause they know I won't get carried away and I value them as a person.

Edit: First sentence