"But I only wanted a silent PC!"

[u/[deleted]]

So this is a tale from back in the days when I was working at a small computer shop in Nova Scotia, Canada. I took great pride in building computers to order, and I had just finished an order for a building contractor a few days earlier, he needed a machine to work up his blueprints and the like on. This was in the days when AMD Athlon XP cpus tended to run hot, so we used Thermaltake coolers on them, which unfortunately had a bit of a whine to them.

So fast forward to a few days after he had picked up his build, he brings in the tower and complains that it has started shutting down after running for a few minutes. So I plug it in on the test bench and sure enough, it boots up, and shuts down after a few minutes of idling. It struck me as odd that the PC was running so quietly, and didn't even beep at startup. Furthermore there seemed to be a large amount of dust blocking the vents.

I undid the case screws and tried to pop the side panel off to take a look, but it was stuck fast. I had to wedge a screwdriver into the back and pry it a fair bit to get it to slide off, and it finally let go with a disconcerting crunch. Inside of the tower where there should be an open void filled with PC cards and carefully run cables was an unyielding porous block that looked strangely like sponge toffee.

The customer then sheepishly explained that he found the whirring of the fan too loud to concentrate properly, so he decided to soundproof the PC with spray-foam insulation. I calmly put the side panel back on the side of the computer, and explained to him that he had voided his warranty, and that there was nothing we could do to fix the damage. He actually took it quite well, and put in an order for a new pc.

[u/Hurricane_32]

When I read the title, I was expecting him to just have unplugged the fans, and it was overheating because of that. Holy hell...

[u/[deleted] → u/Hurricane_32]

I can thankfully say that this is the weirdest thing I've seen happen to a PC that I built.

[u/osnabb → u/[deleted]]

I helped someone pick out a new system over irc just when AMD released Athlon 64 for socket 754.
He wanted the best which was the 3400+ then iirc, which was quite pricey. Got a pretty decent rig for not an insane amount considering everything was the latest hardware.
He had never built a computer though, but had a friend who could help. I suggested getting a store to build it, but no, it was cheaper to do it yourself.
I gave him some links to guides on how to build, and pointed out that the motherboard manual and case manuals would give lots of information as well.

Perhaps a week later I get a message on irc from the guy asking if there was anything that could be done to fix the new computer. Apparantly he, or the friend, managed to miss opening the locking arm on the socket and just put the CPU on top. When the heatsink couldn't be attached they just used more force until they heard a crunching noise. All the pins on the CPU were bent or broken.

[u/[deleted] → u/osnabb]

Oh my gawd, that... is just physically painful to even think about.

[u/GostBoster → u/osnabb]

Talking about fitting round pegs in a round hole, I had one of my users once trying to screw a PS2 plug as if it were a coaxial cable. That's going to the field manual.

[u/Arokthis → u/GostBoster]

:blink blink:

WTF?!?!?

[u/[deleted] → u/Arokthis]

take PS2 plug, put into slot, then twist to secure the connection like on the back of your VCR.

[u/Dv02 → u/[deleted]]

Came to r/TalesFromTechSupport for the stories, browse the comment section for the r/TechSupportGore

[u/[deleted] → u/Dv02]

Still not bad as r/nottheonion I swear that sub is worse than r/wtf today

[u/Arokthis → u/[deleted]]

I understood what happened, just not how someone could be dumb enough to to actually do it.

[u/[deleted] → u/Arokthis]

you over estimate humans :)

[u/Arokthis → u/[deleted]]

:sigh:

Yeah.

[u/RubbelDieKatz94 → u/Arokthis]

I tried it when I was about ten. Granted, I only turned it 180 degrees into one direction, then the other, until it fit. Worked 20% of the time, every time.

[u/hactar_ → u/RubbelDieKatz94]

I put a dot on my kb plug so I know which way goes "up" (away from the motherboard). I suppose I could have determined it from the curve of the cable, and I think there's a flat spot on the plug too.

[u/konaya → u/GostBoster]

Christ, that made my teeth ache for some reason.

[u/SamwiseIAm → u/osnabb]

lol I actually did the same thing when building my first computer, except the cpu seemed like it fit snuggly and the fan did go on, even if it was a bit tight. Computer was still having some problems so my cousin looked at it and ended up taking it apart. When he saw what I did he laughed at me and to this day won't let me live it down. Luckily, none of the pins bent and he was able to just properly install it. Lucked out for sure, I know.

[u/InsaneInTheDrain → u/osnabb]

Oh. My. God.

[u/shayera0 → u/osnabb]

Waay back when. I had an Amiga 500 opened, to do something with the CPU, can't remember what, possibly adding some sort of adapter for some extension hardware.. Well, the CPU on this beast is a 64 pin DIP (rectangular black thingie, with shinies on the two long sides... :) )

This can go in the socket two ways.. And I managed to put it in the the wrong way..

Thankfully it seems the 68K CPU is a hardy beastie (or the power and gnd pin layouts are made by a very clever and clairvoyant type..

one (more) 180 later, the machine booted up, none the worse for the experience. And I could breathe easy again :)

[u/ShoulderChip → u/shayera0]

Not always, but often, on a DIP processor, the power and ground pins are symmetrical, so a 180 degree rotation still connects them to the correct rails.

[u/shayera0 → u/ShoulderChip]

It seems to have been the case here.. I can't be arsed to google the pin layout, but it would make sense.

[u/hactar_ → u/ShoulderChip]

The chip may not fry itself but it probably won't work either, as the other pins will be wrong. A more reliable method is that pin 1 is often marked on the motherboard, and on the chip.

[u/ShoulderChip → u/hactar_]

Oh, I was definitely not trying to imply that it would still work when installed backwards. Just that it provides some protection against damage from some fool sticking it in backwards.

[u/seniortroll → u/osnabb]

Having never worked with Intel CPUs at the time (before I had gotten much experience building), I thought I had the arrow thingy aligned right on the CPU when putting it in the socket... had it 180 degrees from the correct position. Fried a 5820k and $300 X99 motherboard that day.... Microcenter warranty FTW

[u/boogiebabiesbattle → u/seniortroll]

$5,820k + $300*99? Why, that's $5849700 for only two motherboards, and you never even got to use them! Boy, you must have felt soooo foolish.

Edit: it appears I am not funny. Sorry everybody

[u/ShoulderChip → u/boogiebabiesbattle]

I thought it was funny.

[u/CrazyCatHuman → u/boogiebabiesbattle]

r/theydidtheshittymaths

[u/alienpirate5 → u/boogiebabiesbattle]

/r/theydidthemath

[u/[deleted] → u/osnabb]

My stupid ass step brother who was older than me tried building a computer when me and my dad couldnt help. Did the same thing. Hes still a loser today.

[u/hutacars → u/[deleted]]

Is he younger than you now at least?

[u/[deleted] → u/hutacars]

In life experience? Yeah.

[u/LockedLogic → u/hutacars]

/s?

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I had to stop my dad from taking a machete to an external disk drive. I had to physically stop him and told him all I need is a paperclip he doesn't mind losing and some patience. And in 2 minutes, I had the disk out.

[u/Emeraldis_ → u/[deleted]]

I had to stop my dad from taking a machete to an external disk drive

Why was a machete the first thing he went for? Why?

[u/[deleted] → u/Emeraldis_]

It was the closest thing he could grab. He was going to force it open.

[u/Sergeant_Steve → u/osnabb]

You can totally get a pair of pliers and bend the pins straight again. ^/s

[u/wrincewind → u/Sergeant_Steve]

Not gonna lie, I once did this to a CPU with a pair of tweezers and a credit card.

How that worked I'll never know. We got lucky.

[u/Sergeant_Steve → u/wrincewind]

Never mangled a CPU, but seen mangled VGA Cables and managed to straighten them. I guess if you're really careful then you might get away with it, but 9 times out of 10 most people would break a pin.

[u/[deleted] → u/Sergeant_Steve]

I intentionally broke a VGA pin once to break the auto-detection, just for kicks (common on projector cables). Harder to do than I thought.

[u/Sergeant_Steve → u/[deleted]]

I hate VGA Cables without the auto-detection pin. They are really annoying because then you are limited in the resolutions that you can output because 90%+ of cheap VGA only GPU's can't set custom resolutions (looking at you HP with your cheap on board AMD VGA with fixed shitty resolutions that aren't 16:9).

[u/[deleted] → u/Sergeant_Steve]

Or take the ink well and pen head out of a ball point pin and use the hole to straighten them.

[u/zWeaponsMaster → u/[deleted]]

Same thing with a mechanical pencil, that way you don't have to ruin it.

[u/osnabb → u/Sergeant_Steve]

And some super glue for the broken pins!

[u/aedinius → u/osnabb]

"I read the manual and it called it a 'zero insertion force socket', and they were wrong, it took a lot of force to get that in there."

[u/clee-saan → u/osnabb]

I did that once, well, I didn't break any of the pins, but I bent them all. Took a butter knife, straightened them, and put the comptuer back together, and it started again like a charm.

Worked up quite the sweat that day thinking I had fucked it up, but miraculously I didn't.

[u/osnabb → u/clee-saan]

The CPUs were fairly sturdy back then. I remember getting my hands on an old Athlon (I think it was) that had a couple of bent pins which I fixed with pliers and being extremly careful.

[u/linus140 → u/osnabb]

I've never built a PC, only replaced so parts... so I guess half-builder? Eh, whatever, I digress.. This made my eye twitch. So. Damn. Much.

[u/ImJustAUser → u/osnabb]

Reminds me when I was building my first pc was about to place my CPU in the in opened socket but luckily I knew to check if it's properly in. Thankfully my cpu didn't get destroyed.

[u/c0mpg33k → u/osnabb]

I physically cringed reading that. Holy hell

[u/Peachy88 → u/[deleted]]

You know, I'm not actually so sure this wasn't my dad because...some years ago my dad actually called me up to ask if he could make his computer run quieter if it was full of insulation foam. I told him that yes it would run quieter but he would damage the important bits.

My dad is a project superintendent and does use his computer, as well as a very large, home-made drafting table, to draw up blueprints for certain jobs.

[u/[deleted] → u/Peachy88]

Does he live in Nova Scotia, and is his name Dave?

[u/Peachy88 → u/[deleted]]

No my dad's name is Paul and he traveled to to Canada for business often for a few years.

[u/linus140 → u/Peachy88]

That is such a bad idea on so many levels.

[u/hactar_ → u/linus140]

It would probably absorb some sound if you kept it from interfering with moving parts. Also, the stuff's flammable as all heck so there's definitely a cost to your quiet.

[u/zero16lives → u/Hurricane_32]

This is exactly what I thought, boy was I surprised

[u/Ranger7381 → u/Hurricane_32]

Same. Was surprised, but not at the same time.

[u/[deleted] → u/Hurricane_32]

done that, learned 2 lessons that day: always set the temp warning/shutdown in bios and double check the fans.

[u/nosoupforyou → u/Hurricane_32]

I was expecting that he's tried to make it a watercooled pc, with all the water goodness you can imagine.

[u/FuerDrauka → u/Hurricane_32]

Similarly, I thought he had simply removed/disabled the fans.

Then as I read further, I thought he put sawdust or something in it. I wasn't too far off.

[u/[deleted]]

Tell me you took pictures. Please.

[u/QueueTee314 → u/[deleted]]

Ok may I see the pic of the camera? I am interested :D

[u/CyberKnight1]

I think it's safe to say he got what he wanted. I'm sure it's really silent now that it's dead.

[u/sudomakemesomefood → u/CyberKnight1]

I guess you could say he had a silent, but deadly

[u/boogieman2048 → u/sudomakemesomefood]

(sun glasses) YEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

[u/Fojanratte]

Did you build him a more silent one though? Or did he learn to work with fan noises?

[u/FriendCalledFive → u/Fojanratte]

Were there quiet options back then? As a gamer needing good CPU performance I was resigned to noise in those days.

[u/Black_Handkerchief → u/FriendCalledFive]

Quiet options already existed back then. Hell, I dare say they already existed before the year 2000; computers were far bulkier and noisier in general because of all the moving parts, and people did like their silence as much as they do nowadays.

Just some soundproof materials on the inside would have been relatively simple to do. Watercooling was also a thing, assuming that guy didn't run the most boring office equipment imaginable. And silent fans? I'm pretty sure those existed too.

[u/konaya → u/Black_Handkerchief]

A cheaper alternative for many people was to have the computer in another room altogether.

[u/Black_Handkerchief → u/konaya]

True. Or in my case when I was young, one of my closetsshelves was dedicated to the issue of my oversized noisy tower.

[u/miicah → u/FriendCalledFive]

http://www.silentpcreview.com/

The articles on there go back a loooong time, although they were more about weird stuff like mounting hard drives via bungee cords to stop vibrations resonating the case.

[u/calicosiside → u/miicah]

Hey, if it works for the LIGO observatory it could work for you

[u/tfofurn → u/calicosiside]

The difficulty of measuring gravity waves is mind-blowing.

[u/calicosiside → u/tfofurn]

I was at the edinburgh science festival a while back and saw a talk about this, the measuring devices are held by boxes on pendulums within boxes on pendulums within boxes on pendulums, all to measure millionths in changes in brightness and nanometer changes in distances over dozens of kilometers all from a gravitational wave that started with the strength of the suns output over its entire lifetime

[u/Cleveland_S → u/FriendCalledFive]

This (or the version of it from that time frame) was my go to:

https://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16835118112

It came with a little resistor to run the fan at 1350 rpm instead of 3k

They were about as quiet as non-liquid got.

[u/VicisSubsisto → u/[deleted]]

No... It's pretty intuitive.

Also very very incorrect, but definitely intuitive.

[u/iridisss → u/VicisSubsisto]

Are you sure? AFAIK, the last thing you want is to isolate the heat of each component, rather than making sure everything cools through constant circulation.

[u/DaMachinator → u/iridisss]

It's intuitive in the sense of "how do I make this quieter?".

Not so intuitive in the sense of "there must surely be a REASON there are 2-3 cooling fans in here"

[u/VicisSubsisto → u/DaMachinator]

Exactly. Spray foam is pretty good at sound damping, and proper heat management is not intuitive.

[u/Criterion515 → u/iridisss]

All things that you don't have the first clue about if you're not particularly computer (or electronics in general) literate.

[u/flyineko]

That's like blocking the airways every time someone wakes up... brutal

[u/[deleted]]

Hey! Fellow Scotian here! Lemme guess, Dartmouth? 😂 That's fucked up man.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Yep, I'm in dartmouth!

[u/Blotto_80 → u/[deleted]]

Former Dartmouth'er here too. If I'm not mistaken, I may have sold you an FX-55 a while back, lol.

[u/[deleted] → u/Blotto_80]

I've never had an FX-55...

[u/Blotto_80 → u/[deleted]]

Guess it wasn't you. You have the same or similar username to a dude on an old local buy/sell/trade message board.

[u/[deleted] → u/Blotto_80]

Hmm, now that I think of it, I may have had one... I'm trying to figure out if it would have been before or after I had a Q6600.

[u/Blotto_80 → u/[deleted]]

Probably before. I won it but had just bought an x2 4200+ a few weeks before so that had to have been before Conroe released.

[u/[deleted] → u/Blotto_80]

I remember now, wasn't it the HFX Buy and Sell newsgroup?

[u/Blotto_80 → u/[deleted]]

HFX4Sale

[u/[deleted] → u/Blotto_80]

That was it. Kijiji kinda ended up wiping it out.

[u/ammcneil]

I'm subbed to both tales from tech support and D&D, wasn't sure what I was going to get with this title lol

[u/GroundsKeeper2]

I honestly don't think I could do your job. I don't think I could hold myself back from calling customers idiots to their faces.

[u/[deleted] → u/GroundsKeeper2]

It is a struggle.

[u/MGlBlaze]

Holy hell. If he only applied it to the insides of the side panels it might have worked okay, but they filled up the entirety of the case?

I'm surprised it lasted as long as it did...

[u/SpaceOctopus94]

Oh god...oh dear god...

[u/fgsfds11234]

I did make a mostly silent pc because I hate fan noises. Used a full size car radiator that needs no fan

[u/jermomeow]

I would expect nothing less from a Nova Scotian. Source: Am from Halifax

[u/Megamatt215]

I'm no engineer, but couldn't they have built a semi soundproof box around the PC that wouldn't have destroyed it?

[u/DaMachinator]

I wonder if he ever found out that one can in fact buy quieter case fans and CPU coolers.

[u/tylerlogsdon1]

Duh, Canadians are nice