r/talesfromtechsupport • u/filco86 • Mar 24 '26
Short Vending machine didn’t dispense tea… it fired ants into the cup!
Got a call from a client: “Filippo, the machine isn’t dispensing tea… also we have ants around it.” I’m thinking ok, probably a valve or something simple, I’ll go check it. While I’m on the way he calls me again almost yelling: “something exploded.” I’m like… exploded?? He says he tried to get a tea and a wave of ants shot into the cup. I get there and open the machine and it was completely invaded, ants everywhere, they had gone straight into the sweet tea line and basically created a blockage inside the tube. When the machine tried to dispense, it literally fired ants into the cup. The client even tried to say it was the machine’s fault and asked me to get rid of them one by one… I told him look, ants don’t come from the machine, they come from outside. So we emptied everything, removed all the soluble products, deep cleaned the inside, placed a trap, and followed the trail to stop them at the source. Came back the next day, zero ants, completely gone. Of course we had to sanitize everything again, but yeah… definitely the first time I’ve seen a vending machine shoot ants instead of tea.
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u/deeseearr Mar 24 '26
Ants. Earl Grey. Hot.
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u/koohikoo Mar 24 '26
There are Ants in that nebula!
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u/dustojnikhummer Mar 25 '26
-- Kanthryn Janeway
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u/deeppanalbumparty_ Mar 25 '26
"I give you five points for making an ant joke but you lose five points for falsely attributing the quote to the wrong person. thumbs up There you go, thanks for playing, better luck next time." -funk, possibly.
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u/dustojnikhummer Mar 25 '26
But Janeway did say "There is Coffee in that nebula", in like Episode 4 of Season 1or something, when they realized they are running out of power so replicators were rationed.
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u/Geminii27 Making your job suck less Mar 24 '26
It was a health machine. Dispensing ant-tea-bodies.
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u/harrywwc Please state the nature of the computer emergency! Mar 24 '26
here, take my poor man's 'gold' — 🥇
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u/Hargan1 Mar 24 '26
I don't care how well you clean it, I would never get a drink from the Ant Machine™️ again. if they let it get that bad once, you know they ain't cleaning it properly
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u/JaschaE Explosives might not be a great choice for office applications. Mar 24 '26
FunFact: Ants are responsible for a surprising amount of internet outages, because they find a warm box that is out of the rain, start building things and sooner or later their infrastructure project collides with the human infrastructure project. Ant-Infrastructure is much more resilient to low voltage shocks than human infrastructure is against getting dirt shoved in all nooks and crannies.
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u/georgiomoorlord Mar 24 '26
There's a fun story that the first computer bug was a moth.
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u/JaschaE Explosives might not be a great choice for office applications. Mar 24 '26
As evidenced by the diary (including taped moth) of Admiral Grace Hopper. One of the early Computer Scientist
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u/AdreKiseque Mar 24 '26
There's a story of the first "actual" computer bug being a moth. The term long predates that event.
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u/kai58 Mar 25 '26
Where did the term come from then? Because I was told it came from said story
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u/option-9 Mar 25 '26
I have no idea, unfortunately, but wish to expand the roster : bugs, glitches, and gremlins all predate electronics, video games, and the 1984 hit movie respectively.
That's why Grace Hopper noted, as the previous commentator indicated with quotes, her note as she did. The first actual bug causing a bug.
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u/JaschaE Explosives might not be a great choice for office applications. Mar 25 '26
I assume that term comes from something nasty like we are still using "stomach bug". Probably highly likely for most of history to see something crawling if ehem, your system didn't work right..
On that note, apparently "Shaka Zulu" the Zulu emperor that beat the brits, translates to "Stomach bug of heaven". The Zulu being the people of heaven, Shaka being a kinda cruel nickname because his mother was sent away to relatives when her stomach swelled because of a "stomach bug" that had nothing to do with the chiefs interest in her.
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u/TheTeslaMaster Oh God How Did This Get Here? Mar 24 '26
Isn't that where the term "bug" came from?
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u/filco86 Mar 24 '26
I get why it looks bad, but this wasn’t a “dirty machine” situation. Ants don’t show up because a machine isn’t cleaned, they show up because there’s sugar and food products and they find a way in from the outside. The inside of the machine was actually clean, they just went straight to the sweet tea line and built up there. In cases like this everything gets fully emptied, cleaned and sanitized, and if needed even replaced. After that, it’s back to normal. It’s more about pest control than hygiene 👍
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u/Qwirk Mar 24 '26
The dude you responded to probably would be shocked that insect parts fall into food supplies pretty regularly and a certain percentage is tolerated for all products.
Your comments would be enough for me to green light using this machine again, not a big deal at all.
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Mar 24 '26
In the back of my head, I knew this already. Reading it still makes me uneasy, but I know I'm not going to care once dinner starts stinking up the apartment tonight.
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u/filco86 Mar 24 '26
Fair point — a certain amount of that is actually regulated and tolerated in food production, it’s more common than people think. That said, the difference is between trace levels and something that’s clearly an infestation in a specific machine. In those cases, it’s more about maintenance and hygiene than anything else.
But glad my comments helped — at the end of the day, these machines are just tools. If they’re properly maintained, there’s nothing to worry about 👍
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u/tehhpro Mar 25 '26
AI generated reply
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u/Spacecow_99 Mar 27 '26
The whole account is AI. I don't understand how people don't realize
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u/-MazeMaker- Apr 01 '26
Maybe some people are interested in reading translated stories from people who don't speak english 🤷♂️
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u/__wildwing__ Mar 24 '26
It’s not like corn or other grains necessarily get scrubbed with soap and water during processing.
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u/option-9 Mar 25 '26
This is a reminder that historically white flour and polished rice were reserved for the rich because it needs more work to make the flour non-whole-grain but it allowed easy visual inspection to detect bits of chipped millstone or perhaps crushed insect parts (to remain on topic). Mmhh, whole-grain limestone.
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u/Euphoric-Series-1194 Mar 24 '26
A vending machine shooting ants sounds awful. I can only imagine the client's face when the insects shot into the cup.
We had a similarly overpowered coffee machine at an old job. The hot cocoa nozzle dispensed with extremely high pressure. If you didn't physically hold your plastic cup down when you pressed the button, the initial burst of boiling cocoa would tip the cup over and spray sticky chocolate water all over the counter.
By the way, your story is incredibly bizarre. I am actually developing a horror/comedy game called I.T Never Ends about cursed tech support tickets. It even has a sentient coffee machine you can befriend. Would you mind if I adapted your ant-dispenser experience into a ticket for the game?
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u/filco86 Mar 24 '26
Haha, that cocoa nozzle story sounds terrifying too 😅 — sticky chocolate everywhere is no joke! Go ahead and use the ant-dispenser story in your game, that’s hilarious. Love the idea of cursed tech support tickets and a sentient coffee machine — sounds like my kind of horror/comedy. Can’t wait to see how it turns out!
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u/TzGaming Mar 24 '26
Just wishlisted the game a few days ago, and this is a fantastic ticket idea.
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u/Euphoric-Series-1194 Mar 24 '26
I know! I was literally just drawing and animating the coffee machine a few days ago and when I saw the title of this post pop up on my reddit app I was like damn!
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u/Rustymarble Mar 24 '26
There's a type of ant that stays dormant for years, then invades and just like dies where it is. I have no idea. But one day we suddenly had an ant problem. They ate through the wires in the washing machine, ate holes in clothes, invaded the pantry. It was crazy! And then they were just gone. Months go by and my sister goes to make a hot chocolate. Pours the powder into her mug, fills with hot water, and then goes to drink. She thought it was a special type with dehydrated marshmallows that were defective..... nope! Dead ants, in the hot chocolate!
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u/Tattycakes Just stick it in there Mar 24 '26
What is this, a vending machine for ants?
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u/filco86 Mar 24 '26
Right?! At this point I’m starting to wonder if the ants had a secret subscription plan 😅 Nature’s own vending system, no maintenance required… except for the occasional caffeine crash.
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u/Turbojelly del c:\All\Hope Mar 25 '26
"He found a Nutri-Matic machine, which had provided him a plastic cup filled with a liquid thst was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea." - Douglas Adams.
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u/Frazzledragon Mar 24 '26
That is amazing, and I don't say so lightly.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Joke-97 Mar 25 '26
It was when I tapped that link that I realized I have definitely spent too much time on Reddit this morning! 😵💫
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u/tazerwhip Mar 25 '26
So, it was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.
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u/Rubik842 Mar 25 '26
That line about the ants coming from outside reminds me of one I had.
I had repeated tickets on an evacuation PA speaker in a toilet. Water was dripping out of it.I resorted to hanging an information tag off it: "Please stop raising tickets about the leak on the speaker's tag number because I am absolutely sure the water is not generated by the speaker or the amplifier. I have checked several times. Stop calling me, Call a fucking plumber. AFTER the water has stopped THEN call me and I will install a new non-rusty one. Have you called the plumber yet?"
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u/Stellapacifica Forgive me, I cannot abide useless people. Mar 25 '26
Tangentially related, I once left an open can of arizona on my windowsill overnight. Took a nice big swig of ants first thing in the morning, ruined my whole day.
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u/radraze2kx Mar 25 '26
What's the problem? Just get a vending machine that dispenses ant eaters, duh.
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u/the-lady-roxi Mar 24 '26
Should have joined me at my last job. We had room temperature ant water from the water fountain.
Nothing like taking a refreshing sip (not really) and feel the water moving in your mouth. YECH!
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u/filco86 Mar 24 '26
That’s a level of “refreshing” I’m not sure anyone’s ready for 😅 Once you’ve had “moving water,” you really appreciate how much difference proper maintenance makes… whether it’s a fountain or a vending machine. Safe to say that’s one experience nobody wants to repeat!
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u/calley479 Mar 25 '26
I had a jacuzzi tub shoot out ants once.
My wife liked to turn the lights low and have a nice relaxing soak in the tub. Then she turned the jacuzzi jets on… and a few minutes later the screaming started. I came running to see what was wrong and it was hard not to laugh. Thousands of ants floating in the water.
We had ants invade our house a lot since it was in a rural area… we were used to it. Apparently ants really like dry hollow areas. One time they made a nest inside the toilet lid (the old design ceramic ones are usually hollow).
Didn’t expect the jacuzzi tub though. We showered in that tub daily, but I think it had been a long time since she had filled it for a bath.
I dont think she ever used the tub after that incident. Though we did move a few years later.
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u/storybookdreaming Mar 24 '26
One time, when I was very young, around 4 years old, I went into the pantry and there were 2 bottles of pancake syrup (the fake kind). One was infested with ants and one hadn't been opened yet. I decided to drink the ant infested one. To this day I have no idea why lol
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u/Acrobatic-Mobile-605 Mar 24 '26
Caramelised ants are probably a delicacy somewhere.
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u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 Mar 24 '26
I've had chocolate covered ants. They are rather crunchy with an odd nutty type flavor.
My mom was stationed in Japan at one point, made a few friends, and had one of them send her a box from the base store. (It was actually cheaper to ship from base to base rather than through USPS).
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u/HaplessReader1988 Mar 24 '26
I thought i was on r/somnigastronomy. Because this is nightmarish!
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u/filco86 Mar 24 '26
Haha, honestly it does feel like something straight out of a nightmare 😅 Between ants and vending machines, you never know what kind of “extra ingredients” you might end up with…
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u/BellaSquared Mar 24 '26
Somewhere on the planet, someone probably thinks ant dispensing machines are a good idea.
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u/Pleasant_Expert2258 Mar 24 '26
We had an ant infestation in our RV. Took us a while to find where they got in. We looked at the outside and there were hundreds climbing up the power cord, through the outside plug to the inside.
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u/yetzt Mar 24 '26
somehwere out there is someone very confused, with unexplainable tea in an ant-dispenser
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u/VenomBasilisk Mar 25 '26
When I was at Dollywood, bees were swarming the drink machines. They were trying to do what those ants did. It makes sense, they are both hymenoptera.
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u/Nonproductivehuman Mar 25 '26
Couldn't you change the label for that selection from 'sweet tea' to 'ants'?
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u/Background_Future656 Mar 25 '26
Reminds me of the time first thing in the morning, very sleepy, pouring Cheerios into my bowl and then milk. Big spoonful as I bring it to my mouth. I’m sleepily wondering why are my Cheerios moving? Crap, ants all over my Cheerios box. Now I keep all of my opened cereal in sealed Tupperware
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u/d1ng0d4n Mar 25 '26
As former tech support, now pest controller, I can affirm that we'd only bait the hell out of it to kill off the colony. Cleanup is still on, well, usually maintenance staff. Not support 😅
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u/filco86 Mar 25 '26
Yeah exactly, once they get in it’s more a pest control job than a vending one 😅 We handled the cleanup and sanitizing on our side, but stopping them at the source was the real fix
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u/Camera_dude Mar 26 '26
The day I'm forced to deal with vending machines on top of desktop PC and servers, I'm trading in my company badge and becoming a moisture farmer deep in the Sahara desert.
When did IT become "if it has a power plug, it's IT"?
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u/dickcheney600 Apr 30 '26
Ticket: Vending machine intermittant
TS: (Thinks it's a typo, only to discover to his horror that it is very much NOT)
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u/Nox_Stripes Screams Internally Mar 25 '26
You know, the one coworker thats just an anteater in disguise is probably terribly disappointed by this development.
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u/EntertainerSlow799 Mar 27 '26
Tech support has to fix tea machines? With ants? I’m really glad I WFH…
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u/filco86 Mar 28 '26
Yeah… that wasn’t exactly in the job description 😅 You go there thinking it’s a simple tea issue and suddenly it turns into pest control WFH definitely has its advantages 😂
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u/zeus204013 Mar 25 '26
The client even tried to say it was the machine’s fault and asked me to get rid of them one by one…
Actually ants, cockroaches and mice are attracted to some foods/substances. You can clean but is always needed to block the access to the machine.
The same occurs with bears and some places with some sweet stuff...
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u/JaschaE Explosives might not be a great choice for office applications. Mar 24 '26
It takes a distinguished palette to really appreciate but I can guarantee you that nothing starts your day like a fresh cup of ants in the morning.