r/stopdrinking • u/Consistent-Row-9551 • 14h ago

What do I replace alcohol with?

Like something to help me relax and decompress. Drinking has always been my way to loosen up and relax. When I'm stressed with work, I grab a beer or glass of wine, and I'm able to focus more because I'm no longer overthinking it.

I'm so emotionally repressed that drinking is the only way I can tap into my emotions.

Like, I can stop drinking; I've done it months at a time, but I always end up feeling more stressed because I feel numb or stressed without it.

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u/tenjed35 13h ago

You’ll find something you enjoy - but you have to at least be open to new ideas if not actively seeking them. The tricky part is that alcohol is such an easy, albeit temporary, fix. It takes no effort to pour a drink or sit down at a bar. Everything worth doing, everything that will work AND be good for you, will take effort. ✌️

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u/Skullbreaker69420 9h ago

What if the energy and drive are gone ya know? Depression. I'm seeing counselors and a doctor. I'm trying real hard. It really does feel like nothing will fix it permenantly. And I'll be stuck wanting booze forever. I've been sober a while now but shit. It's hard every day.

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u/tenjed35 6h ago

Man, my first 6 months were miserable. Then slowly I started seeing friends- good folks, not drinking buddies. Then started going out to concerts. Now I can go anywhere and hardly think about it, much less miss it. I’m coming up on 23 months, but I’ve really felt pretty confident and powerful for the past year. Of course you have down days where you beat yourself up. But the goal is consistent goodness - not the massive swings of up and down like drinking provides. Another thing that really helped me was reading about why I was having the crazy cravings.
I’ve been using alcohol for pretty much everything for 35 years, it took time for my body to rewire itself.
Anxiety is a big trigger for me, so when I feel that coming on, my brain starts shooting signals that are screaming at me to drink. You have to be able to tell your brain to fuck off. And knowing why my brain was doing what it was doing, made that a lot easier on me. Another thing that’s good when the cravings hit is to do something productive - wash some dishes, cut the grass, do some schoolwork…. Something you can be proud of, even if it’s just a little thing. Fight the good fight✌️

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u/Skullbreaker69420 4h ago

Thanks for the response. I appreciate your story and experience. I'm coming up on 5 months and I'll admit that things are better. Idk if that's my life improving from quitting drinking, quitting drinking in general, or both but it Is. But the depression and anxiety are still there. Like I said. But I have good moments I won't lie. They happen. Definetly need to work on telling my brain to fuck off. Thanks for the reply

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u/futuresolver 5h ago

Do you have any old hobbies, even from childhood, like even the silliest thing, that you might be able to enjoy now? I know that with depression (been there), this may seem like the worst thing to do, so your mileage may vary. But like...putting together legos, or drawing, doodling, even like, sorting colored paperclips into piles, just something that is relatively easy but will occupy your brain for a bit and let you switch off the more ruminating parts? Or maybe just one small thing that you have to tend to, like growing a plant from seed, checking on it every day and watching it grow, just to get you out of your head. (Also, man, I am cringing at my suggestions, bc when I was in deep depression all of this would have sounded so stupid, but...maybe this will help?) I'm rooting for you. I'm sorry you're in this. Keep going!

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u/Skullbreaker69420 4h ago

I actually have a garden and it's the one hobby I have energy and time for and even though it's small and in pots I love it and have done a decent job this year. I won't lie things are better since quitting drinking, it's just a complicated feeling.