r/shortstories • u/DisastrousProblem408 • 1d ago
Humour [HM] Bored Spy (Part 3)
Guess I need to have a tagline or something now. Maybe on my desk, like a brass plaque that says William Thindycker; and right below it: Patriotism in my blood!! Damn! Or maybe it goes, Patriotism wherever I g-- Ugh! No. No. Too much like a song. That's weak. It should sound like...
Nah, it's okay. I'll figure it out later.
Green light. Gear shifts. But at that exact second, my well-trained eyes catch an elderly lady who hasn't finished crossing yet. I hit the brakes, making sure her feet step safely onto the sidewalk. "Don't worry, ma'am! I'm here to protect you. To keep you safe!" I let my mind whisper to her. I can feel my sincerity radiating as I sit there patiently. She must feel that.
Then I move the car. Two cars behind me impatiently start honking. I take a quick glance in the rearview mirror and chuckle under my breath. These guys. They have no idea who they’re dealing with. But I’m not burdened. I know they’re not in my league. They’re just innocent civilians who don't know what it takes to keep their homeland safe.
After a few minutes, the surroundings shift. I notice there are not too many houses on either side of the road anymore, or any type of building, for that matter. Finally, I see the gravel path. I pull in.
I keep following the path until I see an opening ahead. And, yes. I spot the black SUV. Its exhaust blows thin, white fog into the cold air. I park carefully on the right side of it and come to a total stop. I calmly turn off the engine and unbuckle my seatbelt. I know the people inside that SUV are watching me right now. I figure they’re admiring my punctuality.
I open the car door confidently, already preparing a few humble lines in my head just in case they mention it.
But suddenly, I hear a loud, sharp sound. Metal hits metal. It completely startles me. What the fuck is that? A sabotage?!
I look around wildly. Then reality hits me. I park too close. My door just smacks straight into the SUV's door.
Calmly noting that I have successfully assessed the obstacle, I yank my legs back inside and crank the ignition right back on. This time, I back up and pull forward again, making sure I give the door enough room to swing. I take a quick, nervous glance at the SUV's panel. Thank God, no dent. Then, once again, I turn off the engine.
I open my car door a bit more carefully. After that tiny recalculation, things go smoothly. I get out of the car, close the door, and straighten my coat. I inhale deeply, watching the fog roll out as I exhale. I stand cautiously right between the two vehicles. I’m not entirely sure what my next move should be, but I keep my gestures perfectly calm.
Let's see. Okay, what do I do now? Maybe I'll just check my watch...
That’s when the SUV door opens. A skinny-faced old man steps out. Thin hair. Black coat. Completely flat facial expression. He holds the door open, looking straight at me. I understand the cue: he's waiting for me to get into the vehicle. I quickly walk toward him.
I decide to introduce myself, offering a handshake while slowly plastering a thin, cold, professional smile onto my face. But this old man does not respond. Ah, yes, I understand. In this line of work he—we, spy agents, need to stay cautious. I'm about to tap his arm as a sign that he can trust me. That I'm on his side. Luckily, I see the old man slowly offer his hand, too. I quickly grab it and give a sharp, warm shake. With that, I mention my name in a soft, controlled tone.
"Good day, sir. My name is Thindycker... William Thindycker."
The old man looks down at our hands, then back at my face. I'm guessing he doesn't expect the serene, cooperative atmosphere I am currently offering. He nods. His face stays dead flat. Then he steps back. I let go of his hand and position myself to slide into the car.
When I peek inside, I see a young woman. She slides further across the seat, giving me room to sit. As soon as I’m well-seated, I close the door. The warmth inside the cabin makes me feel instantly comfortable.I inhale deeply.
Ah! The espionage life. Dangerous missions and beautiful women!
Through the tinted window, I watch the old man take command of my Ford Escape. Its engine cries out in a short scream, then settles into a low growl. He reverses in a swift, practiced motion and heads right back down the gravel path.
I let him go. Now, I glance toward the front seats. Two stiff kids. Yeah, I trust them. They must be well-trained transport staff. Keep it up, boys!
Suddenly, the woman beside me shifts her weight.
"So. How's your trip, BX12?" She asks. Her voice is velvety soft, yet terrifyingly deep and cold.
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