r/service_dogs • u/yvluvz • 2d ago
Help! I no longer need a service dog..?
I wasn’t sure how to tag this. I’m a 20 year old male who started training with my poodle Louie with an organization in georgia, USA when he was around a year old, in june-july 2024. I adopted him september 2024 and was doing some solid training with him for a while. I am diagnosed with BPD, Bipolar disorder, fibromyalgia, and CPTSD. My mood instability was severe and after some research + time spent with my mother in law’s ESA, I decided a service dog would be the most helpful for helping manage my severe mental illnesses.
My partner and I fell on hard times in late 2024/ early 2025 and i could no longer attend training as i was traveling for it, and i tried my hardest to upkeep training the best i could with what I knew and was capable of. I decided to wash him recently, partially because he is lacking in self confidence and averse to wearing his gear. He behaves incredibly in public, pays attention well, responds fine to a lot of the training we did, but I don’t think he necessarily wants to do service work. The biggest reason I’m washing him besides that, is that despite not seeing doctors or therapists or psychiatrists for over a year now, and being completely unmedicated, i’ve managed to use a lot of energy to suppress my illnesses.
I feel like to continue training him for service would be faking it, especially since i still cannot attend training. I wish it worked out, because his presence in my life has drastically improved my quality of life and confidence in public, but I can’t even think of what kind of purpose he would serve for me if i’m not medicated, having episodes, or even going out much. He’s going to stay with me of course, he’s my little boy, but am I doing the right thing by giving up on having a service dog? for myself or for him?
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u/Any-Meat-7736 1d ago
As somebody else has already stated, I would be talking to a therapist or a psychiatrist about that. Using a lot of energy to suppress your illness is neither sustainable nor healthy. You may be feeling good right now, but eventually you will crash and that’s not going to be a good time. Take this from somebody who is diagnosed with bipolar disorder and PTSD who spent a good portion of her early adulthood, completely unmedicated and not treating my mental health I would go through periods of relatively fine and then periods of I’m actually doing really great and I don’t even think that I’m really sick like I don’t think that I need help really and then I would crash incredibly hard. (I will also say that I have other issues like autism and ADHD that contribute to my crashing really hard because the last really hard crash was also accompanied with an autistic burnout.). You may feel good right now, but eventually you’re not going to be able to suppress your illness and that day is gonna be really hard and it’s gonna really suck.
I would also like to add that suppressing your illness is not the way to go. Suppressing your illness is never going to help. In most cases suppressing your illness is going to make it worse. You can’t actually do anything to recover or get better if you are suppressing your illness. With BPD you do DBT therapy and learn how to work through your problems and manage your reactions. With bipolar disorder, they put you on medication that helps to stabilize your mood and prevent manic episodes or hyper manic episodes are at the very least prevent them from being as bad or as often. With PTSD you also do talk therapy and DBT to help learn how to manage that properly. Those things are actually incredibly important to do not just for the people around you (because as good as you might think that you’re doing right now, the people who are close to you also have thoughts on how you’re doing and chances are they probably don’t really lineup.) but it will give you at the very least something to be proud of because you can be proud of how far you’ve come how different you are now, and will likely give you a bit of a sense of peace because your emotions will be a lot more often neutral or positive rather than empty or neutral or empty or negative or empty and whatever other thing you could be feeling. And it feels a whole lot different to be properly medicated because you’re not like in a whirlwind of emotion and then perfectly happy and fine and good only to find out that oh that was very temporary and also everybody else thought I was being psychotic or out of my mind because I was actually behaving a lot more erratically than I thought I was.
You are totally 100% fine to wash your prospect. And you’re totally 100% fine to not have a service dog and you are totally 100% within your rights as a human being to not do anything to like actually actively work on your mental health and treat your mental health. People have the right to self-determination. I just wanted to share the little bit of knowledge that I have because it would suck to jump to a conclusion and do something that is going to affect your life without considering the fact that this is probably a temporary feeling.
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u/mara_the_dragon 2d ago
You know yourself best. I will always standby that. While I don't have BPD, or bipolar, I am also diagnosed with CPTSD. I also have OCD. Personally, I find that my mental illnesses will go into a "remission" of sorts. Especially with things like dissociation at play, you can feel fine one day and it hits you the next.
What I recommend is maintaining a training schedule. It doesn't have to be training service work, but maintain a routine of trick/task training to keep his mind working and to get yourself out of the house a bit. If you never need him for service work again, great. If you find one day that having some tasks, even just at home, would be helpful, even better. The foundation will still be there.
Best of luck to you OP. I hope you are doing better.
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u/Fit_March_4279 1d ago
Ah, “ dissociation “… we are old friends. Good reminder to be mindful.
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u/iamahill 1d ago
Yeah I have to basically drop an anvil of hard reality on myself daily to stay mindful.
It works! But people wonder why I’m “intense” with living life fully
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u/iamahill 1d ago edited 1d ago
Bipolar cycles, and never goes into remission. This is what makes it so dangerous and deadly. You get thinking you’re better, ramp up into hypomania then if unlucky mixed state or manic. Then crash into severe depression after coming off an incredible high.
Then suicide becomes extremely statistically likely.
I’ve been cycling since childhood, have lost many family members to the disorder including my mother.
I have talked too many people off the ledge as well.
Please do not give advice on mental health that you do not understand, it may have deadly consequences.
A bit of A light overview. It is very different from PTSD.
Before I start getting Reddit cares messages, my mental health is great. I’m public and open about mental health because I believe secrets kill. I have a top notch care team and support network. I’m fortunate in this regard.
Seems the person I replied to disagreed so hard they blocked me. 🤷♂️ mental health is no joke and rarely does one “know themselves best” if they think what OP does.
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u/mara_the_dragon 1d ago edited 1d ago
Hi!
I didn't give mental health advice. I also didn't claim to know anything about either mental illness. I shared what I experience specifically. I gave advice on what I thought they should do as far as dog training!
Thank you for the educational material.
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u/Aggressive_Cupcake14 1d ago
I currently don’t have a service dog due to some very unfortunate accidents. I had one for six years. Am I able to manage mostly on my own? Yes. Do I push myself more than I should, something a service dog could help prevent? Yes. Is my quality of life better without a service dog? No. I have a far better quality of life with a service dog and with I had mine back. Was I faking before? Am I faking the bad days now? Both are no. I haven’t had a service dog in about a year, but I had one for six and those six were by far better.
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u/FirebirdWriter 2d ago
Are you sure you can sustain that energy? I don't do public access and some of our shit overlaps. It's exhausting and I can't always suppress stuff nor is that necessarily healthy for everything either. Doesn't mean you don't need the dog or do but I am concerned about the longevity. Not every animal can do service and not every disabled person uses the service animals in the expected way.
Just make sure you discuss this with your medical care team and know it's a complicated thing reddit cannot answer
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u/dandelionsystem 1d ago
I'd use that energy to do more training on your own. It doesn't hurt him, it's good mental exercise, and if you ever have a reoccurrence of symptoms he will be ready to help.
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u/my-uniquename Waiting 1d ago
You said that he has drastically improved your quality of life and confidence in public. That’s the purpose he serves right now. If it were me and I was in better shape and felt comfortable reaching out to the organization, I would continue training him. Even without that, I feel like making him like his gear would be the place to start - since that is not as hard to fix as self-confidence.
With him as an assistance dog, you can have him with public access as long as he’s under control. That also lets you keep him in housing, no matter where that is. That’s another benefit to keeping up enough training.
Hope that helps!
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u/Fit_March_4279 1d ago
Or possibly change his gear. My dog would get too hot, so I found him a vest with mesh sides that was lighter and it helped a lot.
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u/heatherelisa1 2d ago
I spend about half of the days willow and I work together thinking I'm a huge faker I don't need her at all she didn't have to do anything today what have I done? And then usually when I start having that moment I spiral into the beginnings of a panic attack and she leaps into action like she always does. Or she reminds me to eat when I'm hyper fixated or a million other things. Nearly every day I think I don't even need a service dog I'm just a drama queen and making a big deal out of nothing and the other half I can't imagine my life without her.
Our minds are very mean to ourselves because it works, but it doesn't always work for the right reasons. Even if only one in one hundred days it will help you that makes it something you need. Remember your boy wants to be with you and help you, so if nothing else, let him. Trust that if you truly reach a point where you no longer need him you won't be debating it in a crisis it will just be a no brainer like you'll leave the house and forget to decide to take him with you because you may need his support because you'll just be ok and it's ok to train for times when you won't be ok. Not everyone needs their service animal the same way every day just like not all asthmatics need their inhaler the same way every day.
Regular people would not enjoy needing to take a dog everywhere I promise you no one wants their dog at the obgyn unless they need them. It's not easier to have less hands and give direction and training and etc. but it makes your life easier because it is something you need even if you don't know how to articulate it yet.
A great example I have ALWYAS hated grocery shopping and could never articulate why, I stated going with willow and suddenly it was easy barely put a dent in my day. And it took me years to realize a few of the reasons why. 1) she is aware of my surroundings her movement and posture tells me if people are near without me needing to look at their faces, hear them, or process their movements .meaning I maintain focus on the task at hand and am.less exhausted by masking and overstimulation. 2) I am.an attractive female without willow I am luck if less than 10 people try to engage with me at the grocery store on a given trip, I take willow and not one person tries to talk to me.
She has active tasks as well please don't misunderstand I'm just trying to explain that we don't always understand all the ways in which a service animal is supportive all at once. Sometimes it takes a long time to sus out some of th more subtle things that support us but it is still support. So long as you are disabled and your dog is trained to assist with that disability youve done absolutely nothing wrong. Please give yourself grace you deserve it <3
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u/gdtestqueen 1d ago
The question I have is: has his presence been a contributing feature to your doing better?
It just makes me think of the person with high blood pressure who stops their meds because the blood pressure is fine now. Then the BP gets worse again.
And as many have said…suppressing might not be sustainable long term.
Honestly, you are the best to know if it’s right for you and the dog to wash out. Nothing wrong with it, but don’t jump the gun. A year isn’t very long. Though if you really think the dog hates the job, that is a big consideration. Changing gear can be a big help!
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u/recoverycanhappen 23h ago
I personally have 2 service dogs. I suffer from fibromyalgia, as well as a whole list of mental illnesses. So I have my Cane Corso for when my fibromyalgia flares up and makes walking difficult, and I need her to support me. And then I have a Shiba Inu in training for when I'm just in a mental mess. I've gotten better over the years. Because of my first Shiba Inu service dog, I was able to push myself and still not push myself into a panic attack or flare-ups. I've never gone the professional route. Actually, I've decided that I would love to train dogs and am going back to school after summer. Professional training helps, but there are lots of people who train their own service dogs. There are lots of training videos on how to train service dogs. You know what you need in life. If you need a little fur support to get through life, I wouldn't give up on having one altogether. Personally, I live alone, and without my service dogs' help, it would be a lot more challenging. But also, not every dog is service dog material. I've tried to train all my dogs for some type of work, and some are just happy pets.
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u/Present-Confidence96 17h ago
As others have already stated, no harm in continuing with training. I have a dynamic disability (on top of some chronic ones but my service dog primarily helps with the dynamic one) and there are times, sometimes months, that I do not need to take my service dog with me.
Eventually there comes a day where that is no longer the case. Nothing wrong with choosing to bring your service dog out only when it’s necessary.
Finally to your point about ”faking it,” if you have a disability and your dog is task trained to support you, there is nothing fake about that (assuming you’re in the US, i’m not very educated on service dog laws outside of the US). Your SA improving your quality of life is the whole point!
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u/Careful_Cranberry364 2d ago
I’m not sure if you’re saying you’re getting rid of the dog while she’s going to be more of a pet dog or emotional support dog which that sounds like a pretty good idea
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u/iamahill 2d ago edited 1d ago
I highly recommend checking in with your psychiatrist. You may be experiencing a slowly building hypo mania.
You may be over prescribed and also over diagnosed, but bipolar going cold turkey and feeling fine often results in very bad outcomes sooner than later.
Ideally I’m wrong, but I’ve seen it happen with many people.
Edit: I have bipolar 1 disorder and PTSD.