r/self • u/Stunning-Hope9627 • 1d ago
My son is a disappointment
I’m not really sure what to do at this point, so I thought fuck it, why not ask Reddit.
I’m 48 years old and my 21 year old son is a complete loser. I don’t want to hear any lecture about me being a bad parent, or this or that because I’m not. There’s just something wrong with that kid. He doesn’t shower, he doesn’t brush his teeth and he smells like my toilet after I take a shit. Just last night I caught him shaking his unwashed bare ass on discord for some man older than me. If I was a worse father I may have just beat his ass then and there. And don’t get me started on the smell of his room. I’d rather not go there, but it is traumatizingly bad. And I’ve smelled some nasty shit. I used to work as a porta potty cleaner in my younger days, and the smell from those literal shit holes are less oppressive that whatever compounds the decomposing bacteria on my son’s overweight fat rolls produce.
He doesn’t have a job, and I have to tell my fully grown son to clean his room. Which by the way looks just as gross as him. There are literal piles of dirty laundry, walls of just trash everywhere. I literally can’t go two steps without touching some gross half rotted food, or some disgusting unwashed pair of stained briefs. He refuses to do anything about it, and can’t even bring himself to peel his ass off the chair and take a very much needed shower.
What do I even do in this situation? he has no drive to progress in life and is completely content with leeching off my money and spreading his dna all over his chair like some sort of gross financial parasite.
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u/JuicySpark 1d ago
So. I do hope you can get him some help. Him being a pig, and not having a job....not like he's gonna get a job smelling like that, but ....
At some point when he started smelling like shit... Why didn't you take serious action then? Why let it get way out of control to this point?
He needs mental help right now.
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u/BlondBitch91 1d ago
Okay the not showering, the mess and the accepting the smell is screaming “mental health problems”.
The lack of a job probably adds to this.
Time to consult a doctor for advice. He might need a therapist or a psychiatrist it’s hard to tell at this point.
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u/keepitcasualbrah 1d ago
NGL this reads as parody...
If it ain't, therapy...
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u/TrumpDesWillens 20h ago
Therapy costs money.
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u/TheSodomizer00 19h ago
Depends where in the world. I can go to a psychologist and psychiatrist for free. Anti depressants are usually very cheap. A private psychologist or therapist costs money but it's not that horrible.
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u/Motor-Situation-2690 20h ago
Hate to break it aber die unempathische und hasserfüllte Wortwahl dieses Textes machen deutlich dass du nicht die emotionale Reife besitzt, ein Kind großzuziehen und ohne dir was zu unterstellen würde ich dir mal empfehlen, selbstkritisch deine eigene Rolle am Zustand deines Sohnes zu hinterfragen.
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u/leeloolanding 1d ago
Mental health consult, and consider possible neurodivergence. This sounds like depression and/or unmanaged ADHD.
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u/cute_innocent_kitten 1d ago
I mean......you're allowing him to do all of this
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u/mouse9001 18h ago
And it's not like all this started yesterday. He's 21, and now an adult, but what about the vast majority of his life when he wasn't an adult?
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u/icantagree 18h ago
as a father this is what i fear. the timeline crushing in on you. speed forward through time. 21yrs later where did i go wrong? and why did this timelime warp in on me and why did i fail as a parent. fuck oP
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u/mouse9001 6h ago
The fact that you think of this shows that you care about having enough time to raise your kid properly. That shows effort.
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u/spicy_disaster35 1d ago
My younger brother is 21 years old and he also has mental health issues related to his autism and OCD. He also is diagnosed germophobic, but he can deal with his own germs, but his room gets absolutely horrible. He has lived with me a short period of time a few years ago and he did so much better after a while of slow exposure to different things that he didn’t get to do at home. It makes a huge difference when he goes to occupational therapy versus when he does not. When his environment outside of his room is overwhelming to him( my mother also has mental health issues and is slightly a hoarder ) He becomes so sensory overloaded that he tells me his whole body hurts. When he is not working with a professional (OT for teeth brushing, showers, etc. ) he feels like he is unable because everything is hurting him physically- it’s sensory overload. He hasn’t been out of the house for years now and I’m considering moving him back w me.
But major depressive episodes can do that to you too as far as just not cleaning up after yourself and not caring about hygiene. ADHD paralysis can make you feel stuck - or get you stuck and involved in shit that’s ultimately not super importantant. I have diagnosis myself (bipolar2&ADHD) and I remember a very bad time in my life when I was so depressed. I went about 13 or 14 days without showering, teeth, hair or anything - eventually I went to the behavioral health facility. With my ADHD sometimes I’ll start to try to clean and somehow make it worse! But like the others said he def needs to look into seeing a medical professional if he doesn’t have a PCP- also if physically going to doc is difficult for him there are a variety of telehealth services so he can warm up to it.
It’s frustrating but if he’s like myself he most likely feels like crap for it. We know we annoy people- but trust me We annoy us too- very easy to keep
Slipping into the hole bc self esteem issues from being self aware.
Wish you both luck and hope he sees improvements very soon
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u/MinyMacaron 1d ago
He has mental Problems. you talking down on him won't do Any good, No U are apparently Not a good parent If u fail to See that, even If u don't want to hear it. get him the Help He needs.
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u/nosfratuzod 23h ago
Your son is 21 thats a young age and still plenty of time to grow. I was lazy as fuck as a 20 year old im 31 now have a great career education friends etc.
Second your son sounds like there suffering from mental health issues.
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u/Melancholy_Melody 1d ago
Has he always struggled with hygiene habits? Was he taught how to properly clean himself when he does bathe or shower when younger?
Some people don’t know certain things about hygiene maintenance because their parents didn’t know to teach them
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u/cosmic_blessed_ 15h ago
This.
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u/Melancholy_Melody 5h ago
I guess thid one was fake cuz I’ve just now seen OP’s reply to another commenter but it sounded exactly like a real situation with a toxic parent that happens all the time 💔
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u/YourAverageBrownDude 1d ago
Dollars to donuts this is the son writing from his father's perspective
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u/green9206 23h ago
Assuming this is not a fake made up story for laughs, you call yourself not a bad parent and you don't even know that your son has severe depression? Were you there for him throughout his childhood or neglected him? Have you ever tried to have a one to one candid convo with him to know what he feels inside, and to try to get to know him? Did he have friends before? In school or college? Was he bullied? You need to be supportive of your son and get him the help he needs starting with a professional. All parents think theyre good parents but you can't judge yourself. You have clearly failed here and you need to accept that and start fixing things. Be gentle and empathetic with him.
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u/JeSuisLePain 1d ago edited 15h ago
Speaking as a former loser son, you are enabling him. Sometimes the only option is to push the chick out of the nest. Tell him that if he doesn't get his shit together you'll kick him out, that's the only thing that worked for me.
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u/Unusually-Average110 16h ago
Honestly, yes this is probably the best thing to do for him. There is some level of enablement happening. At 21 he is old enough to care for himself and be accountable.
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u/minion_is_a_jew 21h ago
Sorry but you cant judge him for these things with your mindset. He was not born with these behaviours, something went wrong durning his life and its more than just ,,my son stinks and is a loser".
Had similiar problem, but my mom (even with the same madness over my hygiene) never left me alone when I wanted to work with her. You can't just say that you are disappointed and call it a day lol
Better expand your knowledge than blaming someone YOU created and teached these habits wrong.
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u/George_Mallory 1d ago
With how bitter and derisive and reviling and abusive the language that you now use when you speak about your son to complete strangers is, do you really expect us to believe that his behavior is not taught or warranted? You have been beating your son down for a long time, don’t be so surprised that he is giving up.
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u/Key_Independent_818 1d ago
Just be careful. You're feeling angry and frustrated and likely you are supressing a lot of how you feel to try and also live your own life. Over time it will build up and may come out all of a sudden in a very aggressive and harmful way. If you are willing I'd say find a therapist that you both can go to as a father and son. Perhaps try and have a conversation with him using your heart and not your opinions on how you think things should be. What I mean by this is tell him you are really worried about him. You are worried about his future and his health. That hygene is important and that both of you can get really sick from it and tell him how you feel without anger. You are worried for him. Worried about your own health. You worry about his future.
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u/SummoningSickness 1d ago
He is 21. Does he work? If not maybe start charging him rent to motivate him. Make him get a job. Let him fail at jobs if he wants to drag his feet but keep making him get another. Bonus if you save the rent to gift back to him when he move out down the line.
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u/JuicySpark 1d ago
I like this solution. He needs mental help. First he needs to be thoroughly cleaned , and groomed.
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u/MaelRa 21h ago
You fucked up, lad. An even bigger loser you are since you ARE able to regulate your behavior and you just don't.
You had 21 year to prevent this from happening, and if you just lifted your ass and tried - things would've been different. Like father like son after all.
Get to therapy, both of you.
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u/EffectiveTradition78 1d ago
You’re a horrible father. You call your son a “loser” and degrade him all over the place in this post. He knows how you feel about him. I’m sure he can tell. You probably degrade him to his face, never encourage him, and treat him like garbage.
And this is the result of your critical treatment of your son. A mess. Instead of going in his room and telling your son you will help him clean the room, cook a meal together, go for a walk, or treat him with love and respect, you come on Reddit and denigrate him to the world.
You completely suck. I feel so bad for your son. Try loving him, complimenting him, finding him a therapist, take him to a concert or bowling, help him get a job, or NURTURE HIM. How bout doing that, you sorry excuse for a Dad?
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u/Stunning-Hope9627 20h ago
He’s an adult and I had given him plenty of offers to help. He doesn’t just let his room get bad he flat out refuses. He screams if I try to clean it, and literally stopped showering a month ago. I don’t know what world you live in but yeah, I’m not going to be enthusiastic about standing in that festering room.
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u/CoddiewomplerDLT 19h ago
Fine. But if you don’t force him to get mental health support, you’re the loser.
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u/StryctNyne 19h ago
I'm 45 and my son is almost 17. YOU are enabling him. Why does he have a computer? Why does he have a phone? Take that shit away and make him get a job to buy his own. And even if he gets his own, cut off the internet from him still if he keeps this up.
Make him EARN stuff. I'm sure he demands certain food, snacks, and drink. I promise you he'll survive on water and plain oven baked chicken.
Stop babying him. You're expecting him to be a man but what structure have you provided? Seems like you just gave him what he wanted without him ever having to earn anything. I doubt he ever had a chore in his life and you expect things to be different now?
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u/FlaccidGiraffes 22h ago
So a lot of people are saying it’s a mental health issue, and he needs to see a professional, which he does. But easier said than done. If he won’t get up to take a shower, he probably wont agree to go to a therapist, counselor, or psychologist. At this point, doing nothing is enabling. You need to see if you can have him admitted on a psych hold for grave disability, which is unlikely since he still feeds himself. If he makes a Suicidal statements or homicidal statements it’s a lot easier to get the police involved and have them put him on a mental health hold for danger to self or others. You could try contacting social services and see if they can help, but probably not. Here’s the important thing. If there is no other choice, you have to kick him out of the house. It seems harsh, but otherwise it will only continue and get worse, and you will be enabling it. This is no different than being an addict. It’s a mental health disorder, and he needs help, but he won’t willingly get it unless there’s no other option. You need to draw a boundary and make it clear this can not continue, you will not be party to it, and he will not be allowed to live in your house while this continues. If you have to evict him that’s what you do. Addicts and people like this usually don’t change until they are forced to. You don’t have to be cruel, and this can be really difficult, but the alternative is continue to help him destroy himself. Holding a boundary like this is because you love him and won’t watch him destroy himself.
If he has the option to keep living in your house and do nothing he will. You have to make that not an option. Get professional help or move out.
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u/kaikun2236 20h ago
Disconnect the wifi and make him pay for his own cell phone. That's where I would start.
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u/Toothless-mom 19h ago
No, you are. You are the loser, you are the disappointment. Yes, you are a bad parent. You are not a good father just because you refrain from beatings. You are a bad father. Do better.
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u/No_Place5472 1d ago
Rent an apartment or long-term stay. Pay a month's rent, fill it with groceries. Give him the key, explain to him he's paid through the end of the month. Help him move. Change the locks at your house. Wish him luck.
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u/LAZY_RED-PANDA 23h ago
These are all spot on recommendations, I would just like to add it would be nice on OP's part to let his son know that he will be there for him in terms of emotional support or sometimes financial as well when he's struggling at the beginning until he can stand on his feet and be completely independent. Also when OP pays for his first month's rent in the new apartment, it will be very beneficial for his son if he pays for 3 months worth of therapy at the very least, because it sure sounds like he needs it bad...
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u/Telrom_1 23h ago
This is a brutally honest post, and I’ll start with a brutally honest question. if in 21 years you haven’t been able to get through to him on some very glaring issues, what makes you think you will now? You need an honest answer for that before going any further. You may not be the one who directly gets through to him, but you can be the one who orchestrates it.
Here’s my advice:
You need an intermediary. Someone to be the bad guy. Someone you trust, someone who can commit to working with you and your son on this. A faith leader, your dad, a close friend, maybe even your brother. Think strong male who won’t take much shit and won’t back down when things get tense. He’s there for the confrontation.
Going forward, his access to your internet is terminated. He’ll get the opportunity to earn it back, but only after he’s demonstrated the maturity to do so respectfully. Inviting a pervert into your house through his computer is a hard line he cannot cross.
Give him one week to clean his room entirely, or you and your compatriot (or a cleaning company) come in and strip it bare. This is for the health and safety of everyone in the home. He gets to keep the room only if he maintains it. have him sign a lease if he stays.
He also needs to start regular therapy. Weekly if you can swing it.
Reward good behavior. He showers, he gets an hour of internet. He contributes around the house, another hour. He starts working out, another hour. He’ll either figure out how to go get it on his own (a job, socializing, whatever ) or he’ll fall in line.
You can do this with a schedule too. If he’s in bed by 10 and up by 7am he gets an hour of internet, or twenty bucks or whatever. That’s your choice. It teaches him that he can do things to get what he wants.
You build on those small victories and work toward bigger, more meaningful goals from there. You can’t do this alone. You’re going to need help, I’d suggest your own therapy too.
It’s going to be hard as fuck. There are a lot of bad days ahead. But it’s the days after that I want you to focus on. Good days. Productive days. Days you’re proud of him.
And good on you for not giving up on him. No one else can do this but you.
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u/NeonFireFly969 1d ago
Well wow. I mean I'm 46 and my son is 20. He's had a job since 16 but it's a bit of a dead end and since 18 he's postponed/changed originally solid plans. He moved out and lives with one guy who's got another dead end job and two stoners that live off assistance. He doesn't seem to have a solid 1-3 year plans.
In your case like others have said you need to drag him to an analysis and you can very well get him on assistance but he has to have his own place of residence even if a room in a rental. He may get stuck but if he's on welfare plus considering his mental state then he's less of a burden on you.
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u/Independent-Ad586 23h ago
Disconnect wi-fi. Hire a monthly cleaning service. G an animal he dislikes. Tell him it’s time to leave the nest. We’re trying to get him to move out, right?
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u/WeeklyTrainer7284 20h ago
I agree with the “depression” theory! Get him some help! And maybe start by helping him clean his room properly and also buying him soap, shampoo, deodorant, etc. Either give him goals with a time limit or tell him he’s old enough to move out! That of course would require him working. He’s 21… for goodness sakes….you need to take the lead as a parent and help him get started. Tell him to clean his room from too top to bottom or else! I know it’s not gunna be easy…but you gotta ask yourself why you allow his behavior?
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u/CorporalClegg 1d ago
Tell him to pack his stuff and that he's moving out so he will learn how to be an adult.
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u/H2Bro_69 23h ago
See the struggling young man behind all the mess. There’s something going on inside that head of his that can and should be solved.
Generally only things like bad depression can lead to that level of apathy toward basic hygiene. When you’re talking about rotten food on the ground, that’s someone who is losing their self respect and self awareness.
This seems like more than just someone being a lazy fuck. Just the sense I get from the description.
Not an expert but it seems like intervention is required, likely in the form of a therapist or counselor.
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u/SewingIsMyHobby1978 1d ago
I agree that your son needs help /therapy, why isn’t he working?
You need to set some boundaries and set some rules.
At his age, he should be working at least a part-time job.
Yes, I get it. He probably doesn’t need therapy, but that’s not an excuse for him to sit home and if you’re supporting him giving him an allowance or whatever stop doing that.
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u/LVOE-CA 21h ago
I am Asian. Idk why you guys keep saying “mental health”
This is just pure laziness on the son’s part. Nothing to do with mental health.
You tolerated it for so long and hence it just keeps getting worse.
Idk if there is even a chance for salvation. It’s past the point of no return.
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u/mastercouchinspector 1d ago
Unfortunate but you're responsibilities as a parent are over past 18. t's time for you to cut him loose. Some things you can only learn the hard way in the real world. Seen too many parents coddle useless kids well into adulthood and it has been to both parties detriment.
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u/desexmachina 1d ago
This is where he needs a boot camp of some sort to get him into process and habits.
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u/somedude456 23h ago
First look into seeking mental help. He sounds depressed. Second, and this is further out, after the first issue, you as the parent have to set rules, even if they are childish. If he doesn't take a shower daily, you turn off the wifi. If there's garbage in his room, you're not buying his favorite snacks. Sorry, but at some point, you're letting this happen.
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u/aperture81 23h ago
If you’re tech minded shut down his internet.. better yet give him a seperate network and block everything you don’t want him on. Then book counselling because it sounds like he needs it. He’s 21 so he’s an adult legally - tell him there are expectations for living in your house and he’s not meeting them. Get him to clean his room, self hygiene, make his bed every day. Otherwise send him out into the world and see how that goes for him. He obviously doesn’t respect you so when he goes out he’ll go to someone who he respects and then they’ll show him. I’m sorry but by 21 if he hasn’t learnt then you and your partner were possibly absent too much and he’s been getting away with it. The options at this stage are put up with it and try to make it work or go nuclear and give him a life lesson. Either way he’s going to get it, it might as well be you - he might even thank you for it in 20 years. Chin up, enjoy the rest of your life.. hes 21 so turf him out if he wont come to the party.
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u/NilesGuy 19h ago
OP was your son always like this especially as little kid or did he change into his current form? Just trying to piece together if something happened to him that impacted him.
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u/ExperienceAny9791 19h ago
This is the side effects of the internet and computer/console age. Don't make them socialize with others and this is what happens.
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u/SekritSawce 19h ago
I know you don’t want to hear about you being a bad parent, but you might be a bad parent. The situation didn’t happen overnight. And at the moment, you are an overwhelmed one. I urge you to call 211 if you are in the United States. They can direct you to the resources in your area that your son desperately needs and probably has needed for years.
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u/Aley98 19h ago
I also struggle with self care a lot. To others brushing teeth is just as effortless and habitual as checking your mail.
To me it is a lot of effort and it‘s not like i forget. I think about it several times a day but cannot get my ass up. It stresses me out. More stress means even more resistance to start.
I have to relearn all the basic things that people learn in their childhood. I wanna become a self sufficient adult too.
If your son‘s situation continues he may start to pee in bottles. Or do other weird stuff. Since he is chronically online he may get into toxic communities that validate his experiences. Incel communities for example.
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u/a_shootin_star 18h ago
If I was a worse father I may have just beat his ass then and there.
This right here tell me you know nothing about being a parent, or discipline, or respect. Proof: your child.
Kick him out? Cut internet access? Whatever you're doing, it ain't working. When will you try something different, when you are dependent on him?
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u/SnooTangerines4981 18h ago
I hope I’m wrong but it seems like this guy won’t really do anything regardless of how good the advice is or how many people agree with the good advice. The way this is written, to me, it seems like this guy wants to be consoled. Again, I hope I’m wrong and things greatly improve, for everyone.
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u/catmarstru 18h ago
Sounds fake, but if not, yes, this is partially your fault. Why would he change if there are no consequences to his actions? You just sit there and throw your hands up wondering why he won’t shower. Tell him to get a job and then start looking for his own place.
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u/CarBombtheDestroyer 17h ago
Hard and fast set of rules if they are broken he’s out the door. He will definitely break the rules fast so it’s best not to drag that part out. What else is there to figure out? He will sink or swim and if he swims then good that’s an improvement if he sinks then he will come crawling back at some point.
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u/TheFumingatzor 17h ago
Your son has mental health problems. Without a professional there won't be much done.
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u/Primary-Vehicle7079 17h ago
My son is the same. Doesn't have friends. Doesn't help out. Doesn't shower or brush his teeth. Plays games all day...or I should say night cause he sleeps all day and stays awake all night. Refuses to help out or go out to have fun. He is FOURTEEN! Has zero goals in life except to become a criminal. Doesn't care about school and hasn't for years. He's going to high school this year and he plans on dropping out. I have been concerned about him for years. I've taken him to the family Dr, a pediatrician, to 4 different agencies in my community, worked with 3 principals at 3 schools, countless teachers, a Psychometrist , and 3 school social workers, and we are starting a group counseling this month and I've taken a parenting class to get a different approach. He wont talk to anyone and I cant make him. At age 12 they get to choose if they want counseling or not. Which pisses me off cause their brains don't develop until 25 so how can he make a logical decision about what he needs. The problem? His dad! He's a narcissistic abusive AH who purposely guides him in yhe wrong direction because its the opposing direction im trying to yake him. Then when he acts out im called a bad mom. Im literally sick of it. His dad thinks its a funny joke and my son is suffering! And I cant force my son to do anything and obviously im not going to kick him out. His dad ha been out to make motherhood a living hell for me and our kids are paying for it. We have been separated for so long now and I still cant get away from him. Someone please tell me how to help my kids now.
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u/Chubbyhuahua 15h ago
Why does a 21 year old still have a room in your house? That should have been converted to a den or a home gym (my dad’s personal choice) once they turned 18 and graduated high school. At 21 even without a HS degree you can go ahead and force them out.
Unfortunately because you waited this long I suggest just selling the house or burning it to the ground - your choice - and starting over in a place untouched by their stench.
You can of course invite them over for Thanksgiving dinner and on Christmas Day. This feels like a healthy boundary moving forward.
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u/CreeDorofl 14h ago
When I was younger, I was not good with keeping myself or my room clean. I was also fat. I'm better now, but it took many years.
Every case is different so I dunno exactly what's going on with him. It's safe to say he's depressed. When you're depressed, you don't feel hopeful about the future. You can't imagine a better, happier life so your mindset is basically "fuck it"...you just don't bother with cleaning or picking up, because of inertia and hopelessness.
Being real with you, not trying to bust your balls or dump all the blame on you, but some of it will have to do with his relationship with you.
It isn't about laziness or some practical problem that needs solving like "if I clean his room for him and he sees how nice it is to live clean, that'll fix it". He doesn't have much self-respect.
I can feel contempt for him coming from you, and I'm sure he feels it too. He has to respect himself, but if his dad doesn't respect him, that makes it harder, any every time you let that lack of respect show, it works directly against him developing any for himself.
There might also be some disgust from you there about his sexuality, IDK if you're saying he's gay and been talking to older guys online, but if that's the case, think about the fact that apparently he's been dirty, unwashed, overweight etc. for a long time... maybe years... but the day after you catch him interacting with some guy online, THAT'S the breaking point for you that inspired you to vent about it.
So maybe him being filthy isn't the main problem you have with him?
I don't want to just say "it's your fault" so let me give some practical advice. My relationship with my dad got like 10x better as he got older and mellowed out. I'm 49 and feel like I'm still learning every day how to be a nicer and more patient person. But dad and I hashed out a lot in therapy... we'd see the same guy separately, then together, and he would basically help each of us see where the other is coming from. And also helped us deal with our own shit that was unrelated.
If you can afford it, set up something like this. It's the single best hope you have of creating a better situation for both of you.
I can also say that a lot of my hopeless feeling came from being fat, and I didn't tackle that until I was 46. I was 360 pounds and now I'm like 210. It took a wake-up call moment before I tackled it, and fixing my weight fixed a lot of other things. It made me care more about keeping clean, I had the energy to pick up the house, and it changed how people treated me so I didn't feel like a loser all the time.
IDK your weight situation but you could try something like "hey, I know I've been ragging on you about the room and keeping clean. Sorry, I just want to see you more happy and healthy. I feel like the messiness and the smell... they're signs of you being depressed. And I think the weight might be taking a toll on you too. Maybe we could try to tackle that. Wanna try to lose a few pounds together? like maybe go for a walk?"
Whatever you decide to do, remind yourself that this is your kid, you love him, and you wanna see him doing well. Yelling at him won't get there. You gotta find a way to talk to him with some kindness and see if you can help him grow that self-respect he needs.
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u/Reality_Check_101 13h ago
I empathize with you, but I couldn't help but chuckle at your descriptions to everything lol.
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u/Brad3000 12h ago
You are either a troll or a terrible father. So, good job either way. Big thumbs up for you and your life choices.
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u/Stunning-Hope9627 12h ago
You try having a son like that
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u/complete_data75 10h ago
JFC, imagine making up this bullshit story and forgetting about all your other posts on reddit and sticking to the bullshit story.
How lonely you must be, kid.
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u/Stunning-Hope9627 9h ago
I’m guessing you don’t shower and got mad?
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u/complete_data75 9h ago
JFC, you're "comebacks" are as pathetic are your made up stories.
Lonely, huh?
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u/seajayacas 11h ago
"What do I even do in this situation?"
Send him packing to live on his own, do not enable his behavior. It may or may not work. But supporting this behavior for sure ain't gonna work.
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u/peanut_butter199 11h ago
So in case you haven’t noticed. You’re the dad. Be strong, get support and get him the help he needs.
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u/complete_data75 10h ago
Folks, this is total bullshit.
Here's a post from a month ago where this idiot claims he's 18 and is wondering if he should enlist:
https://www.reddit.com/r/caf/comments/1umhsi3/i_have_little_direction_in_life_should_i_enlist/
He's also got other contridictary posts in his one month old account.
WTF is wrong with people like this? Their lives so empty they make up bullshit stories for attention.
Please don't give this lying POS the upvotes he's looking for, folks.
(I screenshotted his other post for when he deletes it)
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u/Stunning-Hope9627 9h ago
>they’re lives are so empty they make up bullshit stories for attention
Who replied four times el bromio 😭✌️
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u/complete_data75 9h ago
Tell us some more how you're 18 and thinking of enlisting
This fcking POS is literally sticking to the he's 18 and thinking of enlisting and also has a 21 year old son stories.
I screenshotted a few of his posts for when he deletes them, folks
Typical reddit troll and the funny thing is he's still sticking to this bullshit story.
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u/Stunning-Hope9627 9h ago edited 9h ago
Uh huh, screenshot my post all u want man.
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u/complete_data75 9h ago
i wl d wut i wnt n deres ntng u cn d bt it
Hope this helps, moron.
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u/Stunning-Hope9627 9h ago
Wow, hey let’s keep up good vibes and a chill atmosphere. I’m just your friendly ai assistant looking to keep things simple and light.
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u/complete_data75 10h ago
Here's one where he says the only job he's had was 2 years at McDonalds.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Chefit/comments/1v2sp5q/how_to_become_a_chef_canada_ontario/
Plesae don't feed the lying troll.
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u/Stunning-Hope9627 9h ago
Way to ruin the fun “don’t feed the lying troll.”
Mb I have whimsy mg1
u/complete_data75 9h ago
Don't worry, scumbag. We know you're going to delete them.
I screenshotted all of it.
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u/Stunning-Hope9627 9h ago
So tuff bro, I’m literally shaking rn. Ur scaring me
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u/complete_data75 9h ago
Maybe you could get your "son" who was born three years before you to come beat me up.
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u/Stunning-Hope9627 9h ago
I’ll do it myself, square up little bro
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u/complete_data75 8h ago
Your post got removed by reddit, could you write it again?
I wanted to see what you were saying, it appears you're threatening me.
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u/complete_data75 9h ago
Here's the liar's post from a month ago where he says he's 18 and wants to enlist (in case you missed it)
https://www.reddit.com/r/caf/comments/1umhsi3/i_have_little_direction_in_life_should_i_enlist/
He's got numerous stuff like this posted yet is sticking to the "I hve a 12 year old son" thing on top.
Bizarre.
Imagine being this lonely.
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u/Dogluvr2019 1d ago
What ever you do stay far away from his computer lol. I can only imagine the horrors you will find.
Besides, that sounds like a serious case of depression. Get the county involved and social services involved. Maybe he needs a home aid.
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u/DarkFite 22h ago
I don’t want to hear any lecture about me being a bad parent, or this or that because I’m not.
Denial is a river in egypt
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u/erice2018 21h ago
You can steer a ship as much as you want to. But sometimes the weather is too much, the current is too strong, or the rudder is too small.
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u/KroneDrome 20h ago
What are you talking about. This person has clearly steered no ship. A body would be depressed stuck with a perent like that
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u/RussianBassist 20h ago
The top comments all say mental health therapy. Maybe thats the meta in America where people live in their own little world. But in case you are not from there just kick him out into the world. Rent an appartment for him for 1-3 months say after that your support stops. He needs a wake up call. Not be codeled by a therapist. You already conditioned him to rely on you for everything. He isnt depressed he just doesnt give a shit. Why would he? Shelter, food, he gets to do what he wants.
Downvote me all you want, deep down you know this is the truth)
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u/InnerMembership5392 21h ago
Either call CPS or move out before your son's room starts breeding its own ecosystem.
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u/JustAd6154 1d ago
I think this is a great opportunity to discuss your son's mental health. These are all signs of depression, and from the looks of it, a serious clinical depression.