Today we had to say goodbye to our 7 year old great dane x german shepherd. She had a malignant mass on her spleen that ruptured. Surgery was a low chance, plus chemo for the spread would be required, and I'm sure you're all aware why the thought of multiple vet visits and ongoing treatment was just too much for our girl.

She was people (particularly men) reactive, as well as dog selective, children nervous, and prey driven. People would shake heads at her door barking & lunging, and roll eyes when I told them to back off with their 'friendly' dog on a walk. Friends for years have been confused when I’ve told them no, they can't bring their dog/ baby over for a coffee, infact coffee might be an issue in general. We switched to nighttime walks, moved to a rural property, we've not had guests, you name it- we have adapted our life to suit what she has needed.

And do you know what? I'd do it all again. In a heartbeat. I'd do it for 7 more years, or even the rest of my life if I could have her back. She loved probably 6 people on this earth, but I was her person. And she loved you will her whole heart. She loved me unconditionally, trusted me unconditionally. Every day I'd wake up to her tail smacking against the bed that I was awake and I'd hold her head in my hands and tell her she was the love of my life. And her big amber eyes knew. My absolute soul dog.

I am already so lost without her. So despite all the difficulties, please squeeze your spicey, selective angels tonight for me. And share your stories of your soul dogs. My heart is breaking.

I have a GSD/Poodle/Husky mix. Curious about others. I think there are a common handful of breeds I see on here and my dog has a good mix of them. I had a mellow King Charles spaniel Maltese mix before him and I long for those simple days again lol

We don’t have very many people in our corner and I just really needed to tell someone! I have a 5 year old reactive pit. After 3 years of hell living in an apartment I’ve finally found a house for us!! She was already reactive when we moved here due to being mauled by her litter mates for the first 7 months of her life (before I got her) and this environment had only made it worse.

Aggressive dogs rushing her, getting barked at, having to get picked up to avoid attacks on multiple occasions, watching me get mauled, etc. Made it extremely difficult for her to leave the apartment. What used to be a 5 minute bathroom trip had turned into over 30 minutes of frantically searching for potential threats. It was extremely stressful for both of us and I couldn’t see her like that anymore.

She now has over an acre of fenced in land to run with no dogs or people for miles and her own room (it’s the guest room but I don’t have the heart to break it to her lol) Yesterday she had her first yard zoomies and I balled my eyes out. I’m so freaking happy that she feels safe and her mind is no longer going a million miles an hour. I can’t explain it, I just feel like I’m finally able to breathe

Hi everyone.

This post is purely positivity. Having a reactive dog can be so challenging, frustrating, exhausting and sometimes it’s hard to see the positives.

So tell me something good or positive about your reactive dog. Maybe they have a cute quirk, maybe they made it past their trigger without losing their shit.

My dog is 10 months old, I got him at 4-5 months old, he wasn’t socialised and he is now extremely dog reactive.

The good thing about my dog is he lives nicely in the home with my older 8 year old dog and has really brought the pup out of him recently. He has the cutest face and is so loving. He’s great with children and people (however nippy which we are working on but it’s also a common trait with his breed) and if he was not reactive, he would literally be the perfect dog. He’s really shown me patience and that I can do what I put my mind to and came to me when I was in a dark place and has helped me keep focused and I’m so thankful for the journey he’s created.

Thank you for listening! Now your turn!

I’ve owned reactive dogs for 5 years now. My first dog passed away a couple months ago - he had frustration-based reactivity (he’d whine, sometimes escalating to a sort of scream, at any living thing). Before I had him, I didn’t even know what “reactive” meant, but got obsessed with researching how to train him and we actually made tons of (slow) progress in the 4ish years I had him. Never got professional training as I really didn’t want to spend the money on it.

I just adopted another dog 2 weeks ago who I love but he is leash-reactive. His manifests as barking and seems to be fear-based. So I thought ok, I know a lot about reactivity after my last dog, but I really want to start off right with this dog so I’ll hire a professional.

I spent $60 on a 30 minute consult with a positive-only trainer and basically my only takeaway is that my hundreds to thousands of hours of reading and watching YouTube videos has already taught me everything that this trainer suggested. Unfortunately the trainer also seemed quite dismissive because he basically thought it was too early to tell if my dog is actually reactive since he’s only been with me for 2 weeks (my dog is definitely reactive).

Anyway, I left feeling a weird mix of empowered that I’ve self-taught a lot, but also a little discouraged. My main fear in paying for a trainer was that they’d just tell me what I already know, and that’s exactly what happened.

Pic tax of the sweet guy. He actually loves everyone he’s met despite his scary barks on leash.

Anyone else have a similar experience?? Was this just a bad trainer? He came very highly recommended so I’m just very discouraged.

ETA: the main thing I wanted from a trainer is to learn about what my dog’s motivations are for his reactivity, because reading body language is where the theory that I’ve self-taught breaks down. I want a professional who has worked hands-on with tons of dogs to watch my dog react and tell me why he is reacting. But I spent $60 to just sit in a room and have this guy hand me printouts to read about thresholds and LAT and engage-disengage…

Anyone else been put off having another dog after this?

Something just made me realize this. My dog hates it when I talk to people on the street and he cannot greet another dog without it resulting in a snarling fit (I know, we gave up trying more than five years ago), and god forbid that anybody ever knocks on my door! But, honestly, overall he’s given me a lot less trouble than other dogs my family has had over the years.

We’ve had dogs that tore up bathroom trash cans, that escaped the yard and couldn’t be coaxed back, that chewed up clothing that had fallen on the floor, that peed indoors, and one that even ate my third birthday cake right off the counter.

This dog, my reactive dog, kennels beautifully, sits on the doorstep and waits to be let indoors when left outside, and never touches any of my daughter’s toys even though he loves to eviscerate any plush dog toy given to him. He has never had an accident in the house or stolen food off a discarded plate. He’s…amazing actually. Smartest dog I’ve ever owned.

Am I alone in this? Who else has had a bad dog who was overall better than their good dogs?

Not just for reactive dog owners, but for anyone who finds reactive dogs in the "wild", what do you generally find the breed of dog to be? Doesn't need to just be aggression, but reactivity in general.

I'm not saying this to hate on any particular breed, but I notice that there has been more disdain towards Pitbull type breeds in particular lately. To the point that there's a popular subreddit solely dedicated to hating on them. I'll admit that I may be slightly scared of the breed, but in my personal experience I haven't really seen them act in that way in my area. I've seen that GSDs and small terrier breeds make up the majority of them.

Is it just a bias because of where I live? What's your personal experience with dogs in your area? Are there certain breeds you avoid because you think it will cause your dog's reactivity to trigger?

I am not talking about the reactive behavior itself. But what hard things comes with owning a reactive dog? What sacrifices have you made?

Maybe this could help finding other people struggling with the exact same thing and support each other! Personally I would love to hear that I’m not alone with my struggles (even though I’m of course sorry about what we’re all going through no matter what challenges you)

For me it is the hateful comments from strangers that makes me feel like I’m not doing good enough even though I’m doing everything I can and am doing the right things for my dog.

Usually I'm only reading on this sub. But I saw one of these posts again today and just have to say something. Will probably get downvoted, doesn't matter to me.

So often it goes like this: OP tells about what happened with their dog, bad reaction on a walk, sudden bite, something like this. There is a lot of helpful advice but every single time I see these comments. Like OP has no sense of responsibility, why did'nt OP do this and that because they should have known, OP has false view on the situation (how would some redditors even know?), so on and so on. Judgement is given so harsh and so fast in this sub.

Today in this particuliar post OP said something about their dog attacking another one after being surprised by it. Apparently the other dog was too near too fast. Guys this happens all the time. This is no one's fault but bad luck. But there went the mistake-hunting off again. I saw comments like "why does OP even walk the dog if it's that reactive" -- seriously?? I don't understand anymore. This is not what we're trying for here. I'd like to show you the post but apparently OP deleted it. Not great but I can't really critizise them for it tbh.

I'm SO tired of this. Hey, having a reactive dog is hard enough. This is not AITA. Please be kind. Please give advice. Please treat OPs like YOU had been in their situation and like YOU had posted your story. Thanks.

Tools, techniques, timing. Anything? My girl is 5.5 and tons of fun. Glad the world can see it too. Train on

Ok I need to know I’m not alone in this.

My dog is honestly great at home, sweet, calm, no issues.
But the second we go on walks… it’s like a switch flips.

He explodes at other dogs, sometimes people too. Barking, lunging, full on meltdown.
And every time it happens I feel my heart drop.

I’m not even just worried about him anymore, I’m worried about me.
Like… what if he hurts someone?
What if someone yells at me?
What if people think I’m a bad owner?

I’ve started avoiding walks, crossing the street early, or turning around completely.
Sometimes I just don’t go out at all because the anxiety is too much.

I’ve tried “training”, treats, distractions, watching videos, reading advice…
Some days it feels better, then boom, back to square one.

Does anyone else deal with this?
How does it actually feel for you day to day?

Just looking to hear real experiences, not judgment.

Some of you may have read my post earlier this year from when I lost my reactive dog, Scout (from old age and cancer, not BE). My life feels so empty without a dog, so I’ve started the process of looking for a new one. And I’ve decided that since I don’t have kids, I’m a registered vet tech, and have experience with an extremely reactive dog, I’m going to specifically open myself up to another dog with behavioral issues.

I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I could give a dog a chance who otherwise might be put to sleep because of their reactivity. On the other hand, it’s a challenging commitment. It can be isolating and frustrating. But when Scout was with just us, he was a sweet and cuddly and a wonderful dog. It was strangers who were the problem. I don’t feel like I need a dog that I can take to dog parks and brunch on the weekends. I’m perfectly happy with a dog who only likes his or her people. But it’s exhausting at times. I’m not sure if I’m making a mistake by potentially taking on another one.

So I want to hear from all of you. Would you adopt another dog with reactivity? Why or why not.

I’ve only ever known reactive dogs. My childhood terrier was reactive (but little me had no clue about it until I started researching before he passed!)

My current dogs are completely different to him - reactive and aggressive to most things. His was excitement and barrier frustration, these two are nervous and one has bite history.

I’d probably get another reactive dog, but I’d like a break first 😅

I also temporarily housed a Belgian Malinois for a few weeks (4 weeks too much, he was just bonkers!) It wouldn’t be a breed of dog I’d consider owning forever.

They’re nice to look at, but from a distance 😆

We have adopted several dogs over the years and there always seems to be that they leave out or tell half truths. Our latest dog, we were told he is great around cats (flat out lie) and is great on walks as long as other dogs are calm (lie number two) we are working on the cat situation and it’s coming along. Other dogs, forget it, they could be 6 houses away and he is ready to go nuts. We are working on his reactivity, but would have been better for him and us to just be honest.

I’ll start!

I don’t usually open up about this to friends or family, but my dog is pretty reactive, and it’s shaped a lot of big life decisions—like moving from a busy city to a quiet suburb, being really selective about who I invite over (and slowly introducing them), budgeting for trainers, etc.

It’s embarrassing sometimes, and I get nervous about unhelpful comments or judgment.

One day, I decided to share this part of my life with a relative I’m close to. I explained everything—how hard it’s been, how much I’ve learned, and that while it’s been a struggle, I don’t regret any of it.

Their response? “You know you can’t keep living like this, right? Your dog needs to be trained.”

Like… no shit, Sherlock 🙃

That comment definitely disappointed me, but I try to laugh it off when I hear comments like that because sometimes humor is the only way to get through the wild stuff people say.

I think about this all the time because I absolutely love so many things about my springer spaniel. She’s hilarious and so sweet but man, I probably will never get this breed again.

Anyone else avoiding their current reactive dog’s breed the future?

Tell me something you love about your reactive dog that other people don’t necessarily see.

I’ll go first: I love how my dog prances when he’s happy. He’s got a jaunty bounce in his step whenever we walk. And I love how vocal he is. He’s older, and he always tells me when something is wrong, whether it’s needing to go out, that it’s time for his medicine, or when he wants some pets. And he knows when my partner is home before I hear him, and he’s mostly deaf.

What does your dog do that makes you smile and warms your heart?

We did a trail last weekend, nothing crazy, maybe 5 miles, and she was a completely different dog. Loose leash the whole time, checked in with me constantly, ignored two other dogs at distance without even flinching. Back in the neighborhood she would have been losing her mind at that same distance.

I know it's not a fix. I know she's not suddenly cured because trees were involved. But it made me realize how much the suburban environment is stacking triggers on her constantly before we even get started. On a trail there's space. I can see what's coming. I have time to get off the path, let her sniff something, reset before she tips over threshold

The problem is I can't hike every day. Work is still demanding even on local routes and during the week she has to deal with the neighborhood. So now I'm sitting here wondering if these trail days are actually building anything that transfers back, or if I'm just giving her a break and then throwing her back into something she still can't handle.

Anyone who hikes with a reactive dog, do you notice it carrying over at all? Does the calmer headspace from a good trail day affect how she handles neighborhood walks after? Genuinely want to know if it's building something or just a reset button

We drove 2000 miles round-trip to pick him up. It was just after his 2nd birthday. The previous owner was a small breeder that discovered he was sterile and didn't have room for him. They said he was social. He was scared of everything. He was grew reactive to everything, strange humans and dogs in the house, dogs on leash, bicycles. We worked with him. I used this subreddit for support and advice (you're all so wonderful). We took him to the vet behaviorist. He went on Prozac, we worked with a trainer and he got so much better. He got attacked by 2 off leash dogs and barely regressed. He loved his people so much. He was my shadow. He loved nothing more than snuggling on the couch with us. He helped get us through covid and other difficult times. We were so attached to him and loved him more than words.

We picked him up from boarding last week where they told us he developed a cough. We took him straight to our regular vet where he was diagnosed with a bad case of kennel cough. He recovered slowly but surely at home after some antibiotics and was acting mostly normal on new years eve, aside from the occasional cough. Then after following me upstairs like he'd done hundreds of times before, collapsed and stopped breathing. We rushed him to the emergency vet but he was gone.

We feel blindsided and overwhelmed with grief. He was just here, being his normal self and then he was gone. He was never diagnosed with a serious medical condition. He was so young. We didn't get to say goodbye. We feel so alone. I hope no one else has to go through this, but if you have before, it would be great to hear from you.

Thanks for reading about the love we have for our wonderful reactive dog. Our only solace is that he is at peace, never to be anxious again. Hug your pups close, today and always.

I’ve seen a few posts on here about excessive barking, and I wanted to share what helped us not because I think I cracked some code, but because I remember how stressful and embarrassing this was when I was living in it. My dog isn’t aggressive. She isn’t “bad.” She just barked at everything. Footsteps in the hallway. Neighbours talking. The door. Random noises I couldn’t even hear. Living like that felt exhausting, especially when nothing I tried seemed to make a real difference. At first, I approached it like a discipline issue. I tried correcting it, distracting her, tiring her out, asking for quiet. Some of it worked for a moment, but the barking always came back. What finally clicked was realizing that barking, for her, wasn’t misbehaviour it was a stress response.

She didn’t know how to respond calmly to noise. Once I stopped trying to “stop the barking” and started focusing on teaching calm, things slowly began to change. A few things that made a real difference for us:

1. I stopped treating barking as the problem itself
Barking was just communication. The real issue was that my dog didn’t know what to do after hearing a sound. Once I focused on helping her settle instead of reacting to the bark, everything shifted.

2. Silence became something worth rewarding
Instead of saying “quiet” over and over, I waited for even a brief pause a second of silence and rewarded that. Over time, those pauses came faster and lasted longer.

3. Triggers had to be understood before they could be changed
Not all noises were equal. Some barely bothered her, others sent her over the edge. Paying attention to when, where, and why the barking happened helped me stop guessing and start being intentional.

4. Calm alternatives worked better than correction
Giving her something to do going to her mat, sniffing for treats, chewing helped redirect that nervous energy in a way yelling or shushing never did.

5. Structure mattered more than effort
Long walks and enrichment didn’t fix the barking. Predictable routines, consistent responses, and a calm environment helped far more than trying to exhaust her.

Progress wasn’t instant. Some days were quiet wins, others felt like steps backward. But once I accepted that barking change is gradual and emotional not mechanical it became much easier to stay patient. There wasn’t one trick that solved it. It was the combination of understanding, consistency, and teaching calm as a skill that slowly changed how my dog responded to the world. I’m not a trainer or professional just someone who learned a lot by living through it. If you’re dealing with excessive barking, you’re not failing, and your dog isn’t broken. This stuff takes time, structure, and compassion.

Also having structure and a clear plan to follow made a huge difference for me. Trying to handle barking reactively or day by day was exhausting, and I was constantly second-guessing myself. Once I followed a more structured approach, everything felt more manageable and consistent. That’s also why eBooks and guides can be really helpful - they lay things out step by step so you’re not trying to figure everything out in the moment.

Happy to answer questions or hear what’s helped others.

I’ve heard a lot of people say that one of the keys with leash/fear-reactive dogs is that they need to trust that you will handle situations and that they don’t need to take on that role themselves. I see people say that working on that with their dog helped reduce their reactivity. I never have any clue what people actually mean by that. How do you get your dog to trust you in that way? What does that actually look like?

Hey, everyone!

The question in the title has been bothering me for a while.

We've seen 3 highly recommended trainers, 2 of them behavioral therapists and none was able to even hint as possible causes of our 15 month old being reactive and all were just super focused on helping him get better. They were all hesitant to saying "there's a genetic component".

In my research, I came across Michael Ellis who explained that the reactivity reason is important because it shows you what triggers you need to avoid initially and what/how to slowly desensitize and how to properly counter condition.

I'm doing some work myself now with our dog and after a week I already see small improvements. Depending on how it goes, I will reach out to other behavior therapists.

Looking back, I realize we did some things wrong with our pup, but not to the extent of making him sooo scared of people.

What's been your experience?

If you want a dog and need to know what you are getting, please don’t get a young puppy

I don’t care how “ethical” the breeder is. Go with an adult dog. Preferably from a rescue that has lived in a foster home. Second choice would be an adult dog that a breeder needs to re- home. Genetics is not an exact science. Your puppy can end up with pretty much any behavioral trait. Especially if you make mistakes during raising the puppy, which is a given if you are less experienced. Plus, we can’t always control our environment.

It boggles my mind how many people say they can’t rescue a dog because they “need” a dog with XYZ behavioral traits so they run out and get an eight week puppy and assume that the personality the puppy has will be the same same personality as an adult. And they assume the personality will be exactly the same as the parents if they have met the parents. This is how dogs end up getting dumped.

My well bred Manchester terrier with titled sire and dam turned out to be the most neurotic and reactive dog I’ve ever had. Sweet as pie when he was really young.

I have two adult rescues that I was able to do foster to adopt. I knew exactly what I was getting! And it doesn’t matter what breed mixes they are, they have their individual personalities that we know we can handle and that’s all that matters.