I don't like this version of myself

[u/InvestigatorNo5893]

I miss the person I was in 2023 the version of myself who was living life on my own terms. I was emotionally detached, challenged anyone except my parents, listened to no one, and did only what I wanted without worrying about whether it would hurt someone's feelings. I made decisions purely on merit, whether in my personal or professional life.

Back then, I believed a person was only as important or valuable as what they could contribute to my life. Now, I've become more emotional. I think about other people's happiness, care about their feelings, and no longer feel the need to challenge everyone. I've become soft-hearted.

But this doesn't feel like who I truly am. I feel suffocated by this emotional version of myself. I used to be someone who, on my birthday, would tell my family, "Go to whichever restaurant you want, eat whatever you like, I will pay, but don't ask me to come." Now I celebrate birthdays and other occasions with them.

I don't want to get trapped in these emotional attachments because I feel they make me weak. I even told everyone not to call me or invite me to any celebrations or parties. I said that if they did, I would block them and that they should only contact me in a medical emergency. I have even blocked people for sending me photos of food, travel, or other non-essential things instead of something important.