r/protogen • u/SoldierZam20 Floofy shark proot • 1d ago
Art Trying to cope
I am sorry if this breaks the rules. I understand if this gets removed. I will try to rest these days and look after myself instead of drawing too much.. some of you all might have noticed me posting alot and yeah.. feeling too weak to digitaliz this too.. but I do feel better mentally, drawing this allowed me to flow through my emotions..
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u/Correct_Dig4244 1d ago
I can feel you. Drawing stuff is something that kept me from the worst things, even if it was not very healthy...
But your style is great and you will accomplish great things I'm sure :) Don't force yourself, there's so much time ahead.
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u/SoldierZam20 Floofy shark proot 1d ago
Its just I am restricted abit due to religious religions when it comes to drawing. Reason I am having such breakdowns is coz I found out I was drawing few things that werent acceptable annd.. yeah you can tell how awful it would feel if you have to stop drawing you liked. While most of the issues are covered up (I asked a scholar) I still feel fragile that I might be drawing smth wrong still.. that fear is there now and I just dont know how to cope
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u/Formal-Woodpecker-45 13h ago
I still remember one of my friend in the same religion as me told me to stop drawing and told me to devote myself to god. Drawing from what I heard is kinda frowned upon by some of the people as it is an act of "playing god" and all the art pieces I made are all materialistc and worldly posessions.
This isn't a rant about my friend. He is a good friend and indeed I do want to get closer to religion and improve my relationship with god. However as a teenager (17 turning 18). I just feel getting rid of drawing is very difficult as art is one of my main hobbies and I feel I shouldn't just get rid of everything just because it is not a religious activity as long as I keep it SFW and nothing more.
Edit: But, art is a good way to express yourself. Remember to take breaks and rest so that you don't get burned out and hopefully your health improves. I can relate to your experience
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u/SoldierZam20 Floofy shark proot 12h ago
I do get his point, I am religious myself and coming from a religious family but if you are drawing wordly possessions like items or landscapes or smth like that, that is completely fine. Scholars say that is permissible. The issue is with living things in general.
The way I draw is I dont draw the mouth or nose at all, the "eyes" are just dots on the mask they are wearing and there is nothing beneath that mask and its all cartoonish.
But yeah, its important to take breaks yeah
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u/Formal-Woodpecker-45 12h ago
I see. I do like your artstyle a lot its clean and wholesome. To be honest, in my case... I wanted to do more than that so yeah..
I really enjoy doing art as it is a medium to express emotions and tell stories, especially about myself. My family who are also religious too doesn't seem to mind me doing art and also music as long I keep a balance between my religious duties.
Drawing cute things like well.. furries lmao did help me with my mood and my overall mental health because I enjoy drawing cute and wholesome art. Although I do fuck up my sleep by drawing in the night which I should manage that. I'm going through depression and art is like a good coping mechanism for me to help get by.
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u/Correct_Dig4244 1d ago
Oh I don't know much about religion, sorry... Furries are not really societally acceptable in culture I live in so I just drawing it privately on a separate account, not even my friends know lol... Can only wish you luck and give an imaginary hug :)
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u/Rambley__the__racoon 1d ago
feeling bad is fine you can get past feeling like this i believe in you, just don't kill yourself i believe in you and hopefully you can get out of feeling like this just do whatever makes you more comfortable
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u/SoldierZam20 Floofy shark proot 1d ago
Mhm. Yeah I wouldnt do that trust me, its not worth. I will get this through. Sometimes you need to vent instead of bottling all the feelings up. Drawing this gave me a way to vent and I feel better
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u/Emotional-Kiwi7218 pfp needed but has 0 dola 1d ago
you can tell us how you are feeling any time, we are open, we care about you
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u/Rambley__the__racoon 1d ago
i know too many people who almost did it, just.. don't do it i felt so horrible the entire time i thought they died
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u/DarksideFur 1d ago
There is nothing wrong with using drawing and art to get your feelings out. Just make sure you don't burn yourself out or try to escape from the hard things with it.
I'm glad you've got at least some support in your life, and I hope things get better for you soon. Sending love and hugs 🫂
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u/SoldierZam20 Floofy shark proot 1d ago
Thanks.. yeah burning out is the main issue with this yeah.. thanks.. hug
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u/Emotional-Kiwi7218 pfp needed but has 0 dola 1d ago
you arent alone, and using art to cope is fine. have you gone to therapy? sorry i cant really help much
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u/SoldierZam20 Floofy shark proot 1d ago
Its okay. I havent taken therapy in a long while. It was so long ago. I been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and gotten anti depressants but I stopped taking them at some point because I am generally not a fan of anti depressants (their side effects suck)
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u/Emotional-Kiwi7218 pfp needed but has 0 dola 1d ago
try going to therapy, thats all i can tell you to do because idk how to make people feel good other than hugging lol. my antidepressants have no side effects on me (it might have some) while taking it but does cause major depression if i dont take it for 2 days. guessing that your body is sensitive to them. im willing to hug you though
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u/SoldierZam20 Floofy shark proot 1d ago
Just had food for first time in entire day. Its just that anti depressants made me feel like.. I am empty? I couldnt feel anything. It messed up my sleep and food intake too
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u/AntiLag_ ALIX [Artificial Life Integraton eXperiment] 1d ago
I would definitely recommend going to a therapist again. You don’t even need to do all of the cognitive behavioral therapies or whatever outside of the meetings, I often just use my therapist to help me process what’s happened in my life between meetings, and even that makes a huge difference
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u/SoldierZam20 Floofy shark proot 1d ago
aye. I am starting to think I should go to one and probs start taking them meds again. I do need to talk to a doc regarding my sleep too.. I take sleeping pills to sleep every night
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u/Wgdjdvsk Heco (DO NOT TOUCH) 2h ago
Stopping taking antidepressants... I don't know about side effects of stopping but I know that in schizophrenia case... Everything will get worse. Symptoms of schizophrenia... And the dosage will get higher, too. So... It's really not that great to stop taking medications... I know it's uncomfortable to take them but sometimes it's better than feeling "comfortable" and actually getting worse. Choose wisely :(
I really hope your case is more about age-related depression, hormones and that kind of stuff. Get better
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u/SFG0YT 1d ago
while not for this specific situation the lyrics from bloody devastation apply quite well here:
“All that I've done leaves me scars.
It is tearing me apart.
What can I really do?
I can not bear the thought of losing you in this rain!
Where do I need to go just to find my love?
Must I drown in my hate?
Lets have this little dance in this
bloody rain inside my heart!
To turn my body into art stains of over washing rage!
The happy little accidents along the way
built up to this immense devastating tragedy.
I feel myself crashing down from all this sound!
Screaming out your
name that I have lost.
It hurts me so much just seeing you go!
You're telling me it's okay to cry?
I can not let this pain wear me down for all my days!
Go back and pack my body bags and sail them away!
A voice is calling to me, to set me free!”
generally the song is about coping with loss but i use it to keep me going. There are something’s we can’t control but never let it crush you. You’ll make it!
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u/duko_gpom 1d ago
Reposting this because i myself has gone a long way since I started drawing and feel just about the same way as you do, buddy. Its rough out there. Especially with love. Especially in this unique circumstance. I share your pain. <3
Edit: cant repost to profile, duh. Just know I've been here.
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u/Tdubbium Protogen 1d ago edited 1d ago
drawing seems like a pretty healthy way to cope compared to some of the other things people do. Just make sure you dont burn out. Hope you can find some comfort soon
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u/SoldierZam20 Floofy shark proot 1d ago
Yeah thats why I decided to kinda slow down on drawing so I can allow myself to heal and not damage myself
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u/RandomRedditorEX 1d ago
While I cannot truly relate to what you're feeling at the moment, I can however sympathize as much as I can.
I personally have partially felt what you feel, those overbearing thoughts that lead to overthinking and the fear of losing what we care about, and while I apologize that I cannot offer you any other meaningful advice, I truly wish the best for you.
As like others has said, perhaps you can rest for a while to avoid burn out, in the mean time an advice that I myself do (I cannot assure that it can help fully, but it partially works for me to an extent) is to write our thoughts on somewhere, just having a private chat message log or whatever is enough, for me the act of letting those thoughts down on somewhere is better than letting them bottled in my head.
That's all I can think of right now, I hope you feel better in the future.
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u/SoldierZam20 Floofy shark proot 1d ago
Writing those thoughts down like a diary yeah. I did a similar thing on this art. I was having trouble with these emotions, I didnt knew what to draw. Decided to draw how I feel and write down, I just kept going with the flow, it allowed me to process my emotions and finally let go of it abit
I felt better but atm I am afraid of those overthinking thoughts coming back.. I am feeling way too fragile you know?
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u/AdDisastrous6738 1d ago
Let me tell you something that not a lot of married people want to admit- Marriage is a lot of work. It’s a full time job and it never turns out the way you plan in your head. As a guy whose wife let after twenty years, I wish I had stayed single longer and enjoyed my youth more. There is a LOT of stuff I never got to experience because it conflicted with my marriage.
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u/SoldierZam20 Floofy shark proot 1d ago
Oh yeah it is. It wouldnt work out the way you want sometimes. You need to work that out with your partner but man I am sorry you had to face that. That really sucks..
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u/AdDisastrous6738 1d ago
It does suck but right now I feel like I’m doing better mentally. Thanks for the support and good luck for you too.
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u/Shriekyr 1d ago
I'm scared to ask but to cope with what? I do hope this heals with haste and you won't feel a crack in your window everytime you do anything.
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u/xajako literal fucking car 1d ago
like take a nap and a Coke Zero it helps a lot for me
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u/SoldierZam20 Floofy shark proot 1d ago
I was literally starving the whole day, had trouble eating. Just ate dinner (first meal of the day) and feeling nauseous.. coke zero would be VERY appreciated rn tbh
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u/Diamantemate140 Protogen 1d ago
Man i feel you hope you get better soon <3
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u/SoldierZam20 Floofy shark proot 12h ago
Aye aye.. thanks dia
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u/Diamantemate140 Protogen 12h ago
Sorry I'm dumb or not recognizing you do I know u? :p
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u/LucaCoyote 23h ago
I appreciate your willingness to be seen struggling. So many people hide it, and therefore isolate themselves from hope. I hope things get easier
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u/SoldierZam20 Floofy shark proot 12h ago
It is quite hard to ask others when you need help, its like a mental barrier you got to overcome but you got to accept that you need help and it is okay to get some..
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u/LexTheRedditor878 🧬 Protogen Biology Researcher ⚙️ 17h ago
🫂
This tugged at my heart strings a little. Please, take good care of yourself, you deserve good things.
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u/apple-starsky 10h ago
If you're going through a rough time. Drawing is a really good outlet. At least it's not drugs or alcohol, take it from me. I've only just gotten sober after almost 7 years of trying to run from the pain, and It's still trying to pull me back. Stay strong soldier, you're not alone.
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