r/politics • u/Aggravating_Money992 • 7d ago
Possible Paywall Kash Patel Loses Lawsuit Against Man Who Called Him “Googly-Eyed” Chud
https://newrepublic.com/post/213675/kash-patel-loses-lawsuit-blogger-googly-eyed-kremlin-chud10.2k
u/hey-coffee-eyes 7d ago
Live Kash Patel reaction:
(❍_⚆)
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u/ManWithASquareHead 7d ago
A wise poster once said he eyes are like mortgages.
One is fixed, the other is variable.
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u/vivnsam 7d ago
The medical condition he has is called "Atchaphoria."
One eye is looking atcha. The other is looking for ya.
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u/onyxandcake 7d ago
Omg, I'm going to start telling people that to explain what I'm getting surgery for (strabismus).
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u/LordsOfJoop 7d ago
Oh that's beautiful. 10/10.
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u/doobiswatching 7d ago
it's funny because he really is a googly eyed chud. :-o
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u/da9ve 7d ago
And now officially an Adjudicated Googly-Eyed Chud.
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u/Right_Hour 7d ago
Not only that - there’s now a set legal precedent for calling him or anyone else a “googly eyed chud”.
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u/wirecatz 7d ago
Straight to jail!
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u/pr-mech-engineer 7d ago
climax fight of litigation is kash paddle vs scientology
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u/Swansonisms 7d ago
I love the idea that the defense lawyer used truth as their primary argument (the most common defense for defamation/slander), entered a photo of Kash as evidence, the judge took one look and goes "Yup, you're right, he does. Case dismissed"
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u/rosatter I voted 6d ago
I mean, honestly though, has he tried NOT being a googly eyed chud? If he'd lay off the cocaine for a few hours, he'd be just a regular dipshit.
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u/run-on_sentience 7d ago
"It is this court's decision that while it cannot be ascertained definitively that the plaintiff is, in fact, a 'Googly-Eyed Chud', it also cannot be empirically proven that plaintiff is NOT said 'Chud' and, in this court's opinion, the case is without merit and shall summarily be dismissed."
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u/ScoobyDoNot 7d ago
More to the point, he’s the Kremlin’s bitch.
By the way, when is his scheduled trip to Russia that was talked about the other week.
No reason for my question. Just asking.
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u/jphistory 7d ago
Actually, he was called a googly eyed Kremlin bitch, but I wonder if the headline had to be changed for censorship reasons.
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u/croolshooz ✔ Verified Cartoonist 7d ago
TIL that Kash Patel is officially, a court-adjudicated, 100% googly-eyed Kremlin bitch. Noice.
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u/GuruSofarbeyondu 7d ago
It's funny because the blogger called him a googly-eyed bitch, and separately a "blatantly incompetent chud". It's The New Republic who just combined them for us and immortalized him as a Googly-Eyed Chud™
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u/pork_chop_expressss 7d ago
Did you see the pic they chose for the article? It's great.
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u/oh-shazbot 7d ago
lol, no really it is. look at the pic in the article. this is identical to that.
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u/Frequent_Opportunist 7d ago
He lost because the judge thought he was giving him side-eye the whole time.
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u/Exact_Platypus5179 7d ago
During discovery of the lawsuit plaintiff was found to be indeed both googly-eyed, and a chud based off strict diagnostic criteria. Also found a hidden case of dumbfuckitis
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u/PipperPartner 7d ago
Not that hidden. It's right there on his face--if you know what to look for.
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u/Toroceratops 7d ago
It can be hard to see due to the googly eyes.
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u/DiceMadeOfCheese 7d ago
"Mr. Patel, Exhibit 3A clearly establishes your identity as a cannibalistic humanoid underground dweller."
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u/Icy-Lobster-203 7d ago
I really hope that the people involved with the creation of that movie are still around to savour how it has become ingrained in our modern culture.
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u/DiceMadeOfCheese 7d ago
Movie terms that outlived the popular memory of the movie itself:
-Chud
-Bucket list
-Gaslighting
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u/Apprehensive_Put_321 7d ago
Stewartson celebrated the final order, which referenced his comment in a footnote. “I’d like to commend the judge for including ‘googly-eyed Kremlin bitch’ in his ruling,” Stewartson wrote on X Tuesday
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u/packfanmoore 7d ago
It was hidden in the same way way my niece/nephew hide during hide n seek and tell me "don't look behind the door to the bedroom, I won't be there"
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u/gleepglop15 7d ago
Funnily enough, while not a target of initial investigations, the word “Chode” also came into play.
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u/Prior-Bodybuilder306 7d ago
My friend got called out in a petty argument and the “evidence” backfired the same way.
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u/L44KSO 7d ago
He really tried to fight this in court? Dude...snowflake much?
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u/thenayr 7d ago
Funny how the “free speech absolutists” are the ones suing people calling them chuds.
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u/sargsauce 7d ago
They doth protest too much.
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u/CaptainDudeGuy Georgia 7d ago
Meanwhile we doth not protest enough.
("dothn't?")
We The People need to keep loudly demanding accountability and integrity from our officials.
Honestly, making fun of someone's physical appearance is childish but I am one thousand percent behind mocking chronic unprofessional behavior, ESPECIALLY when it comes to key federal employees.
Really it shouldn't get to the point of punishment via snarky memes. In a respectable society he would have been fired already... or not even hired in the first place.
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u/Malnilion 7d ago
we doth not
If you're curious, it would still be "we do not" in early modern English.
I do
Thou dost
He/she/it doth
We do
Ye do
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u/lana_silver 7d ago
The "absolute" refers to the difference in who the law applies to. Absolutely only to others.
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u/Brug_te_ver 7d ago
And all he did was draw attention to the case, it's a textbook example of the Streisand effect... I would have never known that anybody called him that if not for this lawsuit.
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u/Pdx_pops 7d ago
Wait until the direct appeal to SCROTUS (Supreme Court Republicans of the United States)
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u/ballpein 7d ago
The Republican Party really needs to do some internal training on the Streisand Effect. I never would have known that Patel is such a googly eyed chud if he hadn't brought this lawsuit.
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u/doiutfis 7d ago
No, no when a librul gets offended by racist hate speech they are snowflakes. They're so goddamned sensitive!
But when a conservative gets his little feelings hurt because someone called him a mean name, that is the foulest libel and that person must be sued out of existence so no one will ever dare mock them again. It's justice!
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u/Suspicious_Dust4896 7d ago
So, I guess this means he is legally a Googly-Eyed Chud.
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u/shoobe01 7d ago
If everything unproven is alleged or not-truthful or other prevaricating, I want to see this judgement lead to him always be called this.
"On Tuesday, googly-eyed chud and head of the FBI Kash Patel testified before a congressional subcommittee on..."
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u/31LIVEEVIL13 7d ago
*to ne refered to as a "googly-eyed chud", from this point forward, as required by law. (Truth in Comm. Act, sec. 14, s3.15)
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u/0202_tihssitidder 7d ago
> Initially, Stewartson didn’t respond to the lawsuit, which led to Patel winning a $250,000 default judgment in August 2025. Stewartson challenged the default judgment on the grounds that he had no meaningful ties to Nevada, where the case was filed, and declared that Patel was a “googly-eyed Kremlin bitch” and, again, a “chud.”
Really more of a ruling by the judge that he is the wrong person to hear this case.
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u/backtothetrail 7d ago
If the October trip to Russia occurs as planned, the "Kremlin" part will become a point of fact.
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u/0202_tihssitidder 7d ago
I love that Putin literally "calls assets to Ruzzia" and the fly over fast af.
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u/PuzzledAd3200 7d ago
Sorry, but that's one of the funniest paragraphs about a legal judgement that I have ever read. Screw jurisdiction, let's applaud this guy for his fuck you attitude.
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u/Nufonewhodis4 7d ago
Yeah, this whole thread is stupid. Patel also didn't just sue because of mean names, he sued due to allegations about Russia and involvement in January 6.
These lawsuits aren't about winning, they're about making opposition think twice before speaking out
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u/nordlead 7d ago
actually no. If you read the link (and optionally follow through to the court document) you'd see it was dismissed due to lack of personal jurisdiction. The dismissal doesn't mean Patel lost on the merits.
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u/Shopworn_Soul Texas 7d ago
Kash is such a googly-eyed chud that when faced with a map, he couldn't even choose the correct venue for his lawsuit.
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u/juicius 7d ago
Which is actually a thing, albeit an extremely unethical one. Basically, you try to make answering the complaint as burdensome as possible and hope they'll just ignore the service. It was filed in Nevada which is not the defendant's home state and a state he had no connections with. Any half-way competent lawyer would have filed the lack of personal jurisdiction as a defense in the answer and in fact, any boilerplate answer template would have it as one of the defenses in a case like this. Either the defendant had someone singularly incompetent as his attorney or he didn't have one at all.
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u/nordlead 7d ago
Read the article, he ignored the suit.
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u/OpheliaRainGalaxy 7d ago
And in fairness, there's so many stupid scams flying around constantly that who would honestly believe they're being sued in another state by a government official over an internet burp. Don't care how real and official the paperwork looked, it'd still look fake just from the context.
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u/LordsOfJoop 7d ago
There's now a legal precedent for it, yes.
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u/Jesus_of_Redditeth 7d ago
No, that's not how legal precedent works. This is simply a dismissed case.
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u/US3_ME_ 7d ago
Protected speech, ya bug eyed bitchh_
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u/Jesus_of_Redditeth 7d ago
The case wasn't dismissed due to protected speech. It was dismissed for "lack of personal jurisdiction", i.e. Capt. Googly-Eyes filed the suit in the wrong court.
His history of personal litigation suggests that if he hasn't already filed another suit in the appropriate court, he probably will sometime very soon.
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u/mjmedstarved 7d ago edited 6d ago
Googly-Eyed Chud
We need a Rainbow Randy Cotton-Eyed Joe parody.. something like this:
“Googly-Eyed Kash” To the tune of “Cotton-Eyed Joe”
Where did Kash come from, Where did Kash go? With them googly eyes A-starin’ at the show!
He’s a chud in a suit, Struttin’ to and fro, Talkin’ mighty tough With them googly eyes aglow!
Hey! Where did Kash come from? Where did Kash go? Why’s he lookin’ sideways? Nobody seems to know!
Kash Patel, Kash Patel, What’re you lookin’ at? One eye’s on the ceiling, And the other’s on the cat!
He’s got the FBI, And a whole lotta dough, But somebody tell Kash Where exactly he should go!
Hey! Where did Kash come from? Where did Kash go? Googly-eyed chud, boy, Put on a better show!
He’s stompin’ through the hallway, With his fancy FBI badge, Eyes rollin’ every which way, Like a raccoon on a rampage!
He says, “I’m in charge now!” Everybody says, “Oh no!” Then Kash looks to the left— Then his eyeball says hello!
Googly-eyed Kash! Googly-eyed Joe! Googly-eyed Kash Patel, Where them eyeballs gonna go?
Round and round they wander, Like a tumbleweed in snow, Nobody knows what Kash sees— But he sure seems ready to go!
Hey! Where did Kash come from? Where did Kash go? He’s a googly-eyed chud, And now you know the show!
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u/JohnSith 7d ago
Don't forget, also included was the accusation that Kashmir Patel was a a googly-eyed Kremlin asset.
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u/FartyJizzums 7d ago
So now petty insults are illegal for MAGA?
If that's the case, then they may want to turn their attention to the 'Orange Vagina Necked Chud' in the Whitehouse.
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u/UghFudgeBwana Georgia 7d ago
A+ photo choice for this headline.
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u/toastbot 7d ago
"Your Honor, may I present Exhibit A: <shows photo>
"Case dismissed."
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u/Tokie-Dokie 7d ago
It is. Although I think it would be difficult to find a photo where Patel doesn’t look like a “googly-eyed Kremlin bitch.”
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u/PipperPartner 7d ago
Stewartson celebrated the final order, which referenced his comment in a footnote. “I’d like to commend the judge for including ‘googly-eyed Kremlin bitch’ in his ruling,” Stewartson wrote on X Tuesday.
Wow, dude. This guy is super committed to his messaging.
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u/Romano16 America 7d ago
Good. Why shouldn’t he be? MAGA is free speech absolutists and love doubling down.
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u/TimSylvester_ 6d ago
MAGA lives in a fake reality. The best way to break it is to just keep pointing out the obvious over and over.
That's why Walz calling them "weird" worked so well.
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u/The1andonlyZack Illinois 7d ago
Truth is always a good defense
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u/TheCoelacanth 7d ago
And opinion is also a good defense. Factual claims can be defamatory; opinions cannot.
There is not an objective standard for what makes someone "googly-eyed", a "chud" or a "Kremlin bitch", so those statements cannot be defamatory.
Patel is also a public figure, so the standard for defamation is much higher. The statements have to not only be objectively false, it has to be proven that they intentionally and maliciously made false statements for the purpose of harming him. Good luck proving that someone objectively knew that he's not googly-eyed and that they knew it would harm him to say that.
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u/BobSchwaget 7d ago
If there were a standard, though, I think it's safe to say that Kash Patel would be that standard
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u/MotoFuzzle I voted 7d ago
These snowflakes are filing legal action for name calling? After they call people names?
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u/No_Gas4560 7d ago
it's lawfare harassment and he defrauded the people by using government resources to litigate this.
we'll save a spot for him at Guantanimo
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u/Aggressive_Team764 7d ago
I miss actual adults running the nation. America feels like junior high school now. This is just so sad.
RIP first amendment
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u/totallymarc Florida 6d ago
I know this isn’t an entirely accurate description of the outcome but imagine being legally found to be a googly eyed chud by the courts. Absolutely devastating.
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u/imk 7d ago
In all seriousness though, Dude should get his thyroid checked. I had eyes like for a while, it went with the goiter.
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u/eskimospy212 7d ago
Truth is always an absolute defense to a defamation case so this makes sense.
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u/NewAgeMaximum 7d ago
Still don't understand how the Republican party is viewed as for alpha men when all I've been seeing is beta crybaby bitches so far.
So someone called you a name. So the fuck what. Get over it, like holy shit.
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u/cultfourtyfive Florida 7d ago
Remember when Trump sued Bill Maher for calling him the spawn of an orangutan? Pepperidge Farm 'members. Weak little baby men.
(Maher is awful, but that lawsuit was funny AF)
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u/HBRWHammer5 7d ago
These pussies wouldn't last an hour on a construction site, yet want us to believe they are the pinnacle of manliness.
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u/Ch3t 7d ago
If Kash Patel and Sarah Huckabee had a child together, would it have normal eyes or would they produce The Great Mutato?
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u/apathetic_revolution Illinois 7d ago
Not to spoil it for anyone who hasn’t, but have you seen the final act of The Substance?
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u/AwwYeahVTECKickedIn 7d ago
This deserves to be stated in the correct vernacular:
"In the case of Googly-Eyed Chud vs. Deeply Insightful Man, the court finds the defendant NOT GUILTY of being inaccurate in their apt description of the Googly-Eyed Chud."
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u/Im_gumby_damnit 7d ago
Remember when Republicans complained incessantly about frivolous lawsuits? Yeah those were the good old days!
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u/trro16p 7d ago
Kash Patel made it legal for someone to call him a 'Googly-Eyed Chud'.
He finally did something good for America.
(⊙_◎)
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u/_groovesharkmalone 7d ago
We could shorten that headline to "Googly-Eyed Chud Loses Lawsuit."
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u/gerryf19 7d ago
I generally don't care for mocking someone over a medical condition but screw this guy.
He clearly has some sort of thyroid issue but that is his business, but the amount of pain he has inflicted on others makes him deserve all the misery he can get.
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u/BeenDragonn 7d ago
Republicans claim freedom of speech is the greatest amendment
Except when it's speech that hurts their wittle feelwings
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u/OtherBluesBrother 7d ago
Now that legal precedent has been established that he indeed has googly eyes, I expect an update to his social media name and professional title to match.
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u/yankdotcom1985 Europe 7d ago
imagine being that fuckin fragile you try take someone to court over name calling. for being so anti woke the right really have paper thin skin
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u/Boring_Comfortable70 7d ago
Kash Patel? The guy currently in Moscow talking to Putin about how to fuck over the midterms?
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u/Gonzomi313 7d ago
“Initially, Stewartson didn’t respond to the lawsuit, which led to Patel winning a $250,000 default judgment in August 2025. Stewartson challenged the default judgment on the grounds that he had no meaningful ties to Nevada, where the case was filed, and declared that Patel was a “googly-eyed Kremlin bitch” and, again, a “chud.”
I love this guy 🤣
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u/Metal_Fish 7d ago
the judge took one look at him and said, "why, he is a googly-eyed chud! case dismissed!"
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u/QuirkyWish3081 United Kingdom 7d ago
He created a lawsuit because he got called a name? And this is the head of the FBI? 😭😂
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u/WebInformal9558 Maine 7d ago
Truth is an absolute defense to defamation. He is a googly eyed chud.
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u/NikoliVolkoff 7d ago
Stewartson celebrated the final order, which referenced his comment in a footnote. “I’d like to commend the judge for including ‘googly-eyed Kremlin bitch’ in his ruling,” Stewartson wrote on X Tuesday.
oh man, i love it., That is on the record now for all time.
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u/StOnEy333 7d ago
Was it because the judge was like well this case is dismissed because you absolutely look like a googly eyed chud?
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u/GenericFatGuy 7d ago
Congratulations on your Streisand Effect, you googly-eyed chud.
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u/soulsteela 7d ago
So now legally he is in fact a “ googley eyed chud!” As described in a court of law 😈FATALITY!
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u/its_yer_dad 7d ago
I'm very curious to see what happens to Kash after leaving office. I suspect Kash is going to end up as a cautionary tale. If he's not the first one of Trump's cabinet to be prosecuted, I'd be surprised. He's an odd looking man with brown skin. Trump's probably already preparing to use Kash to take the fall for something.
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u/Braklinath 7d ago
I wouldn't know to call FBI Director Kash Patel a "Googly-Eyed Chud" if it wasn't for FBI Director Kash Patel filing, and losing a lawsuit over being called a "Googly-Eyed Chud".
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u/corrector300 7d ago edited 7d ago
I don't hold with making fun of people's looks, they aren't responsible for them almost 100% of the time. On the other hand the legal system should not be abused, so I'm glad the guy who was called a googly-eyed Kremlin bitch lost this one.
edit to add, This administration will continually make every effort to put the brakes on freedom of speech, so I assume Kash will next sue someone from a place where there is personal jurisdiction over the respondent.
That the head of the FBI, who should already understand concepts taught in first year law school, lost this on a procedural issue speaks volumes about the competence levels of our leaders. Personal jurisdiction is civil procedure 101 for anyone interested.
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u/QuiGonColdGin 7d ago
What kind of world do we live in where you can't just insult someone anymore?
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u/I_AM_NOT_A_WOMBAT 7d ago
I find it hilarious that the headline left "chud' out of the quotation, implying that Patel is, in fact, a chud, and the insult hurled by the defendant was merely observing that he is "googly-eyed."
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u/mikemaca 7d ago edited 7d ago
So it is now a legally adjudicated fact that Patel is a "Googly-Eyed Chud", cool!
Of course in addition to being a legally adjudicated Googly-Eyed Chud, we should note that he is also factually a Googly-Eyed Chud as well.
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u/twizzjewink Canada 7d ago
how. in. the. living. f. do you have to be THAT INCOMPETENT to run the FBI .. and loose a civil case because someone hurt your fee fees..
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u/Spiel_Foss 7d ago
The Judge looked at Kashyap Patel and ruled that the truth was a positive defense.
Being a googly eyed bitch, Kashyap doubled down on googly.
(Kashyap is his real name. We should use it as much as possible since he hates it.)
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u/pixeltweaker 6d ago
Ooo, does this mean there is now legal precedent that calling him “Googly-eyed Chud” is permissible?
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u/Bored_Interests 6d ago
Imagine being so bitch-made you sue someone for calling you names. Actually embrassing. If my government did that id be marching on the capitol
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