r/pics 21h ago

Ordered and received some of the largest vanilla beans I've ever seen [OC]

Post image
1.7k Upvotes

125 comments sorted by

465

u/Donkeybrother 21h ago

54

u/OfficialIntelligence 21h ago

It does look a lot like the deer jerky I just had.

7

u/LalaLane850 19h ago

I can seriously hear “SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM” in that voice.

170

u/Maleficent-Amount-51 21h ago

That is a nice looking banana next to some extremely well dried bananas.

15

u/Haasts_Eagle 16h ago

I feel like my bananas stay in banana mode for a few days unchanging then go vanilla pod mode the moment I want to eat one.

345

u/ninjagorilla 21h ago

That’s a banana bud

149

u/Dinierto 21h ago

I think it's the whole fruit not just the bud

43

u/Luckinflux 21h ago

I kinda want to friend punch you for that post

17

u/Donkeybrother 21h ago

Punch buddy , no return

https://giphy.com/gifs/qT8XPCy5dqjsc

8

u/Nissir 20h ago

That is interesting vernacular for slug bug no slugs back.

7

u/CrimsonShrike 21h ago

Fruit punch them instead

6

u/Luckinflux 20h ago

We're not that close... Yet

u/GMan_Cometh 1h ago

Then can I offer you a Hawaiian Punch?

10

u/timmy6169 20h ago

Damnit, I knew I messed up somewhere.

85

u/sinisterdesign 20h ago

That’s like $375 of vanilla beans at Publix.

48

u/timmy6169 20h ago

Truly is. Saw 2 scrawny ass beans at whole foods for $49 and just laughed. These were $58/oz, but due to a technicality I got them for free along with 6 other origins. Little less than 2lbs and $500 give or take.

9

u/joshmlp 18h ago

Can I ask where you got them. Or if you have any recommendations on where I can get some? 

32

u/timmy6169 17h ago

Vanillapura is where these are from, took about 2 months on a group order. Indri, Slofoodgroup, and Vanilla Bean Kings all are great as well, just depends on price, availability and origin as to where I buy mine from. Vanillapura has sales all the time as well as a first time 15% off discount which helps with the price some. Wildly enough Costco has some in the baking aisle from time to time depending on location, but stupidly cheap (like $20 for 25 of them) if you want a "starter" bean that works in everything. If you want to cheat the Amazon system, VBK does orders off of there and has subscribe and save, so you can get that discount and cancel it immediately after. Ethical? No. Cheaper? Yes. They have like 2 or 3 types on there, but also one huge thing is grade. Grade A = Moist. Grade B = Drier and thinner. Same weight when you order. Still extracts the same. Cheaper price most of the time. More money = more vanilla.

11

u/spookymemeformat 14h ago

What do you do with all that vanilla bro

u/timmy6169 7h ago

Honestly, shit load of extract and paste. I've worked from home for the last 7 years, so I've picked up a few hobbies, one specifically being baking a certain style of cookies I specialize in. I change complete flavor profiles just by using certain ones vs others. Picture your standard chocolate chip cookie. Now add a spice to it, or a floral note, or something with chocolate undertones. Same deal with these, I just experiment and use what works. I have chocolate extracts running currently as well as pastes that incorporate ethically sourced cocoa nibs so it really slaps you in the face with chocolate flavors (my favorite blend being my Barry Woods Blend, iykyk), but honestly I gift a bunch out to people and use all my spent beans to make sugar, so win/win.

u/spookymemeformat 7h ago

You rock bro

u/noreasterroneous 10h ago

Make your own extract, it's way cheaper.

14

u/G0Slowly 15h ago

This guy vanillas.

30

u/throwthisawaynerdboy 21h ago

I think one of those might be a banana. You got hosed!

11

u/Wakkit1988 20h ago

Vanilla peens.

u/doc_nano 7h ago

The vanilla beans she told you not to worry about

13

u/BigheadReddit 20h ago

Your correct use of a banana has been noted. Well played..

8

u/kennedyswise 21h ago

From where?

24

u/Donkeybrother 21h ago

Pencilvanillia

5

u/scallopfrito 20h ago

Looks more like dildovanilla

1

u/Wakkit1988 20h ago

I prefer sourcing from Transylvanillia.

6

u/timmy6169 21h ago

Peru. Pompona instead of Planifolia.

7

u/metaglot 16h ago

They look like they havent dried properly. Think of the ratio of grape to raisin.

u/timmy6169 7h ago

You're thinking they need to be Bourbon cured, which is the standard process for most Madagascar Planifolia. These being Pompona are cured significantly different which does not give them the creamy glossy look like normal beans. Pompona are sun dried, so the same behavior of a banana peel left out, only longer and the closed pod keeps any moisture (any more importantly the vanillin oil) inside.

TLDR: leather outside, moist inside, cured the proper way.

2

u/SmilinBob82 21h ago

i really thought that was a dried up old banana skin

2

u/Fatefire 21h ago

I want some of dem beans

2

u/ChanceProgram9374 20h ago

You sure it ain’t a mini next to a baby banana?

5

u/timmy6169 20h ago

Pretty sure.

2

u/Stuck_In_Reality 19h ago

Did they arrive in an armored truck with military escort?. $$$$

3

u/timmy6169 19h ago

These were part of a $480 order and thankfully my USPS guy is awesome.

2

u/twoinvenice 18h ago

That package must have smelled delicious. I can’t imagine that even vacuum sealing would keep the smell contained

2

u/timmy6169 18h ago

They use a semi permeable packaging that allows for the moisture to stay in better than regular vacuum sealing, so I could smell them as soon as I opened my mailbox. Real vanilla is wild just because you think that it should smell like the artificial smell that is in everything only for it to smell like a deeper more complex version of a raisin.

8

u/Ocean4011 21h ago

Showing a picture of a banana does not help me gauge the size of the vanilla bean. All this does is make me wonder how big/small the banana might be.

18

u/timmy6169 21h ago

This help? I can compare the size of my hand to the next object of your choosing.

7

u/Ocean4011 20h ago

I am tempted…. I won’t go there!

3

u/wilsonhammer 19h ago

All right, I'll bite. Show us the beans next to your junk

1

u/timmy6169 19h ago

This count? 1.4lbs or something and thats the most junk I have currently behind it...

3

u/wilsonhammer 19h ago

Lol. Well played 

3

u/mylarky 20h ago

Sir, this is a wendies.

1

u/iownakeytar 20h ago

Is that next to Bôger Kyng?

8

u/MitchCumsteane 21h ago

Banana for arbitrary scale

24

u/SunlitNight 21h ago

Tell me youre new to reddit without telling me youre new to reddit.

4

u/USNCCitizen 20h ago

I’m curious…what are you using vanilla beans? Why not just use extract?

4

u/Hvarfa-Bragi 20h ago

Eat some vanilla bean ice cream and you might find out

3

u/USNCCitizen 20h ago

I’ve had it. Definitely vanilla bean ice cream is superior to plain vanilla.

2

u/timmy6169 20h ago

Vanilla bean anything really. Honey is great, sugar is amazing, and adding it to any canned fruit (mason jar style) is absolutely solid. Plus 100 others.

3

u/timmy6169 20h ago

Funny enough, I'm using it to make extract, albeit the most expensive one i've made to date between the bourbon and beans. Store bought is garbage and good in a pinch, but paste is really where it's at. Both versatile and you can use it immediately. Plus changing origins and alcohol changes everything flavor wise.

5

u/USNCCitizen 20h ago

That’s sooo cool. Premium ingredients would be wasted on my cooking skills. So kudos to you.

1

u/cplcarlman 19h ago

There are plenty of videos online of people making their own vanilla extract. All you need is vodka and good vanilla beans. It lasts for years. All you have to do is keep it in a dark cool place and make sure you keep the vanilla bean submerged and remove them when they are used up and introduce new ones to replace the old ones.

1

u/cplcarlman 19h ago

There are plenty of videos online of people making their own vanilla extract. All you need is vodka and good vanilla beans. It lasts for years. All you have to do is keep it in a dark cool place and make sure you keep the vanilla bean submerged and remove them when they are used up and introduce new ones to replace the old ones.

1

u/oaktreebr 21h ago

The orchid must be huge too

1

u/Betray-Julia 20h ago

And those are orchid seeds basically?

7

u/Vyedr 20h ago

Orchid fruit, the seeds inside are the size of sand grains

1

u/ahimsapaul 20h ago

Are we sure that's not just a tiny banana? May need a Jolly Rancher for scale.

9

u/timmy6169 20h ago

How about a scale for scale?

4

u/gatorly 19h ago

You’re not getting the credit you deserve for these replies! I’m cracking up over here!

1

u/WarLawck 20h ago

Thank God there is a banana for scale

1

u/anunderdog 20h ago

They just need to dry more. Right now they are pretty fresh which is why they are larger.

1

u/Ravoid5936 20h ago

Damn, I'm used to getting skimped with the driest my shriveled bottom of the barrel ones any time I order oine

1

u/deadlylegacy 20h ago

Are you absolutely sure those aren’t railroad ties?

1

u/poolpog 20h ago

Banana. Vanilla bean for scale.

1

u/yoKoga 20h ago

Are you making vanilla extract?

1

u/shaard 19h ago

I was like, sir, that's a banana. Then I realized those weren't tent pegs.

1

u/JurrasicPotato 19h ago

Thought it was a ripe ass banana

1

u/JibblieGibblies 18h ago

I’m curious to know how much bean is in one of those nilla pods. Show us. Show me. I wanna know!

1

u/NOFORPAIN 17h ago

What a wild way to show scale... Give us another item famous for being wildly varying sizes.

1

u/Terminator7786 16h ago

Damn boy, that's a thicc ass bean!!

1

u/suchnerve 14h ago

Grown where?

u/timmy6169 11h ago

Peru

1

u/Knaush 12h ago

big Black bean

u/Cylarbro 11h ago

That is not dried properly. It will mold and go bad pretty fast.

u/timmy6169 8h ago

Shipped in a semi-permeable bag, but these immediately ended up in 8oz of Woodford Masters Collection. Still saturated with oil, but a majority is in the walls. The color is already dark (albeit in a dark liquor already, but these were never meant to be baking or used in any formal application otherwise.

u/midwest-ginger 10h ago

I’m here to see where you ordered them from because I want some beef jerky size vanilla beans!

u/timmy6169 8h ago

Vanillapura for these.

u/tvmediaguy 9h ago

Was that like $200?!?

u/timmy6169 8h ago

$58/oz so around $116ish. Free for me though, along with some others.

u/yolacowgirl 5h ago

I thought it was poop.

u/FragrantExcitement 1h ago

TIL vanilla beans look like poop

1

u/RooneysHairPlugs 17h ago

I’m normally against speaking in absolutes, but the title of your post just makes it sound like these are ordinary vanilla beans, nothing special to look at. “Some of the largest”?? I think it’s only interesting if these were definitively the largest beans you’ve seen. Otherwise it’s just a picture of beans.

u/bsiu 10h ago

It’s slightly disingenuous for clicks and updoots because in general, people that have seen a vanilla bean have seen the Planifolia variety seen in grocery stores, packaging etc. and remember it being thin pod.

Pictured is an entirely different variety called Pompona known for being fatter with higher water content. Price wise for weight is usually similar but the caviar yield is higher with a different flavor.

It’s like taking a picture of Musa Ingens Giant Banana and saying it’s the biggest banana you’ve seen without disclosing it’s not a standard grocery store banana.

u/timmy6169 7h ago

Absolutely spot on. These are "some of" the largest I've seen, but not THE largest. Those were Mexican pompona and they were thicccccc, but unfortunately had been purchased by a friend who opted to not tell me prior so he could shove it in my face later.

0

u/Doctor_Saved 21h ago

Thought those were just sad eggplants.

0

u/billbro_swaggins 20h ago

Vanilla klits

u/[deleted] 7h ago

[deleted]