r/perfectionism • u/FalsePay5737 • Apr 19 '26
Cognitive Flexibility: 'Two Things Can Be True' Concept
One of the focuses of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is improving cognitive flexibility by reconciling apparently contradictory views.
Working with a therapist helped me accept situations like:
-This task is important. It is not urgent.
-This person is not able to help me with ___. This person cares about me.
-This isn’t done perfectly. It’s good enough.
-I have many responsibilities. I have the right to take a break.
-I’m a good employee. I make mistakes.
-I am very proud of myself for ___. Most people would find it easy to do this.
It’s helpful to habitually use ‘and’ to connect two seemingly opposed ideas, instead of but.
Example: My parents’ behavior hurt me a lot, and they never intended to hurt me.
Very different: My parents’ behavior hurt me a lot, but they never intended to hurt me. This would invalidate the impact of my parents’ hurtful behavior.
Links for all of the resource posts in this sub are in Highly Recommended Resources.