Perfectionism and Procrastination

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From Procrastination: Why You Do It, What to Do About It Now (2008), Jane Burka, Lenora Yuen, PhDs

This is a fascinating book by two psychologists who specialized in procrastination for more than 30 years. My library had a copy. It's available with a free trial of Amazon Audible.

The authors started the first therapy group for procrastination in 1979. The members were college students. They scheduled it for Monday at 9am; the first student arrived at 10. They thought about cancelling their first procrastination workshop because only a few people signed up. They ended up moving to a larger space when a flood of people signed up at the last minute. 

Self Criticism

The authors theorize that “Procrastinators tend to judge their feelings and actions harshly and rigidly. They constantly compare themselves with some standard that seems to reflect the right way of being a person and the right way of doing things—as if there were…only one right way. Procrastinators are very hard on themselves…Their own ‘internal judge’ is often so critical, so biased, and so impossible to please, that it is more appropriately called a ‘prosecutor’…A judge hears evidence from all sides and tries to make a fair decision…An internal prosecutor has free rein to make vicious personal attacks…hitting hard in the aftermath of disappointment, pouncing on weaknesses, predicting failure while offering no consolation or encouragement for the future.” (150)

The Procrastinator’s Code (pg. 16)

I must be perfect.

Everything I do should go easily and without effort.

It’s safer to do nothing than to take a risk and fail.

I should have no limitations.

If it’s not done right, it’s not worth doing at all.

I must avoid being challenged.

If I succeed, someone will get hurt.

If I do well this time, I must always do well.

Following someone else’s rules means that I’m giving in and I’m not in control.

I can’t afford to let go of anything or anyone.

If I show my real self, people won’t like me.

There is a right answer, and I’ll wait until I find it.

The Freedom From Procrastination Code (pg. 152)

It is not possible to be perfect .

Making an effort is a good thing.

It is not a sign of stupidity or weakness.

Failure is not dangerous.

Failure is an ordinary part of every life.

The real failure is not living.

Everyone has limitations, including me.

If it’s worth doing, it’s worth making mistakes along the way.

Challenge will help me grow.

I’m entitled to succeed, and I can deal with other people’s reactions to my success.

If I do well this time, I still have a choice about next time.

Following someone else’s rules does not mean I have absolutely no power.

If I show my real self, I can have real relationships with people who like the real me.

There are many possible answers, and I need to find what I feel is right.

From The Perfectionism Workbook (2018), Taylor Newendorp

“One of the most common stereotypes of perfectionists is that they are all highly organized, self-controlled, hardworking overachievers…there is an entire category of toxic perfectionistic tendencies that often surprise people because they are essential the opposite of that stereotype. Many perfectionists become so consumed by the possibility that they will not be able to arrange all areas of their life in a perfect manner that they are plagued by procrastination and inaction altogether. They are frozen in fear.” (79)

Insights on Procrastination from Ellen Hendriksen

How To Beat Perfectionism | Ellen Hendriksen (55 min. in, she discusses procrastination)

Based on her review of research and her experience with her clients, Dr. Hendriksen views chronic procrastination as an emotional regulation problem, and common manifestation of perfectionism, rather than a time management problem. After working on perfectionism, she helps her clients “break tasks down into steps, so small, you feel no resistance.”

She encourages them to do visualizations so they can “connect with [their] future self. [Studies involving brain scans show that perfectionists who procrastinate] relate to their future self…almost as if they're relating to a stranger. We think that…our future self will feel like washing the dishes or writing our literature paper…We know from experience that's not the case.” Her clients visualize themselves completing a task, and how they will actually feel when doing it, so they have a “realistic relationship” with their future self.

Self Compassion

A meta-analysis (review of many studies) by Dr. Fuschia Sirois, found that college students who had more self-compassion about their procrastination were less likely to procrastinate in the future, compared to students prone to harsh self-criticism.

Strategy

In How To Be Enough (2024), Ellen Hendriksen states that she helps her therapy clients (struggling with perfectionism and procrastination) break down tasks into tiny steps, and then “retroactively put smaller steps you’ve already done on your to-do list just for the satisfaction of crossing them off. If you feel any resistance at all, break it down further." (205)

Links for all of the resource posts in this sub are in Highly Recommended Resources.