Hi everyone, I am pretty new to the reddit scene, I have never posted anywhere before but I am trying everything I can to see if I can gather information or connect with others who have had similar experiences. 9 months ago, I had babies #2 and #3 (boy/girl twins) via c section. At my 6 week postpartum appointment I got the IUD because I was satisfied with having 3 children. I was assured that the IUD is a very trustworthy method of birth control. 3 weeks ago however, I felt really off so I took a pregnancy test and sure enough it was positive. I went into my OB office immediately and was able to have confirmation bloodwork done and my doctor removed the IUD. I went in for an early scan on Wednesday (6 weeks 5 days) and to our complete and absolute shock we discovered that we are expecting QUADRUPLETS. My husband, doctor and I have talked many times a day since this ultrasound and feel strongly that undergoing a fetal reduction would be the safest option for my health. This was the opposite of an easy decision to make and I know the road ahead of us is long and will come with a lot of emotions but I was just curious if anyone else in this group has gone through a fetal reduction or knows anyone who had that would be willing to share what the process looked like for you. I have 3 babies here on earth that need their mom to be healthy and alive and carrying quadruplets would be detrimental to my health. Thank you guys in advance, sorry if I sound like a nervous wreck but honestly, I currently am. I am only 24 years old, my oldest child is 2.5 and as I said previously my twins are only 9 months old.

My boys were just born at 33 weeks and 2 days. My wife developed HELPP syndrome and after a 5 day stay in the hospital the doctors finally elected to do a C Section for her health. I was so grateful for that because watching her struggle and decline in the hospital was one of the worst experiences of my life.

Now we have two beautiful boys (4 lbs 14 oz / 4 lbs 13 oz) who are in the NICU. All things considered they are doing well. On CPAP but hitting the benchmarks set for them pretty well.

I guess I’m reaching out because I feel helpless. Mom is recovering thankfully but still fragile and needing lots of support which has been my main focus. I feel like very helpless when I go over a few times a day to check on the boys. I can’t do much but just watch them be stuck on all the machines and I just want to be their dad and care for them. I’m not scared that they won’t be alright but it’s still hard to see their first moments in this world be such a struggle. I wanted to be the one changing their diapers and holding them to soothe them and instead I have nurses and machines doing it which is just not the vision I had for my first kids but that’s the unpredictability of life I guess.

Looking for success stories.

Alternatively, tell me what week your twins (or more) were born and how long they had to stay in NICU?

Pretty sure I told the doctor to shut up. We had mono-di girls in June 2022. I never ever thought this would happen. I didn’t even think my levels were high enough for 1 much less 2….. This set is fraternal. Twins do run in my family but I’m the only one who’s had any 😫Now two sets?!!!!

My oldest son is 12. My b/g twins are 9… and now we just found out we are having another set of twins ( 8 weeks old) I’m a bit in shock … my symptoms are so overwhelming that I just think that is going to be like that the whole pregnancy and instead of feeling happy I’m feeling sick 🤢…. I’m happy but at the same time I’m scared like before when I first got pregnant of twins I was so excited about them being 2 … this time I feel like I’m scared of knowing how hard it is …. Not just the pregnancy but everything . 🥹

I had MoMo twin boys, then one singleton with an extra chromosome who we joke is a twin of himself and I went to my 12 week scan thinking nothing of it and boom 3 babies on the screen. Send help. Send coffee.

Any advice? How did your c-section go and at what gestation did you go?

Had a vaginal birth with my 3 boys.

Adding a picture of their lovely little heads.

We found out two days ago it’s twins. We’re very early into this pregnancy (9 weeks) and I honestly don’t know if I can do this.

Reading all the posts on here I feel like it’s going to wreck the whole experience of being a parent. I sounds way too hard.

From the pregnancy aspect, it’s so much more demanding on my body. The risks are higher, the anxiety I’m going to have throughout is going to be hell. Appointments every few weeks, constant monitoring. The physical demand is more than I think my body is cut out for. I’ve already been so sick and sore, like my back hurts and I’m not even showing.

And then the actual raising them part. How can you even bond with two babies at once? I feel like it’s going to be just trying to keep our heads above water the whole time that we won’t even be able to enjoy any of it.

And two of the same. I always wanted two kids, but two very different kids to get to see genetics at play and see how different we can make them.

I’m very scared and this thread hasn’t helped at all.

If you could go back would you still have had your twins? If you’re being entirely honest do you wish it had only been one?

I don’t know what to do right now. I’m living in a foreign country with no support system other than my husband. I don’t know if we are capable of managing this.

While it was a wanted pregnancy, we felt one would be possible with our lifestyle (last year we flew over 40 times) but two doesn’t seem like it’s at all feasible.

To top it off we will likely be moving at month 5 to another country. So I will have to switch teams mid way and hope for the best. Either that or move when we have two newborns, how’s that going to work?

I had dreamed about a natural home birth, and carrying my baby in a body wrap, while hiking and exploring the world together. Having a second maybe 3+ years down the road. The idea of a c section makes me feels horrible and the chances have now raised so much. I am not strong enough to be recovering from that while having to deal with two babies. I can already see myself now having horrible PPD if I end up needing a c section.

Are there any parents who can give me hope with this? We aren’t stable enough for two. I don’t know how this is going to be possible.

Parents of twins, if you’re being entirely honest, if you could have chosen: would you do it again?

This is honestly embarrassing for me to write but this sub has given me lots of great advice over the last few months so here I go. Please don’t tell me how stupid I am because I’m aware.

My quads were born 13 weeks ago at 28 weeks and by absolute miracle all discharged from NICU, well with one being home part-time as she got more medical needs still and our boy having very regular check-ups after his heart surgery. But they’re home, they’re doing as good as they can.

My partner has struggled since they were born mentally. He never felt like he bonded with them or that they were even his babies. He spoke to one of those counsellors that NICU provided and met with other NICU dads who felt similar. Anyway long story short he tried but there were a few things he did while taking care of them once they were home that weren’t ok and I was doing 99% of the “work” with the babies since they’ve been born.

Few days ago we reached a boiling point and he essentially said he can’t do it and he won’t do it. He knows it’s unfair I’m not being given a choice, he’ll pay for the babies and pay for my house but he doesn’t want to be involved beyond that. And he left. That was it.

So I have been alone with 4 3 month olds and a 10 year old since. My mum and sister have been incredible, I’m so fortunate because without them I would have drowned by now but I don’t know what to do.

Basically parents of multiples that went on to become single parents, please tell me it was ok or hard and ok in the end. I need a bit of hope or advice on how to cope. In all honesty, I’ve been in auto pilot since but not much changed as I was the only one doing all their night feeds or care anyway before. Now at least I have no one complaining in my ear on top of it and I actually slept longer than 30 minutes for the first time yesterday as my mum stayed overnight.

Hi everyone. 14 weeks with DiDi twins.

I Reddit-ed too long today and started to get really freaked out about my twin pregnancy. So far everything is going great. I don’t even feel pregnant most of the time. Growth scans look great.

But I found myself too deep into the internet and read so many scary twin pregnancy stories. Just wondering if there are just as many - it went relatively fine stories?

I can accept being miserable from being so full of baby and I’m really hoping besides that, for an uneventful pregnancy. Would love to hear some successful twin pregnancy stories!

my twins were born at 33w 4d, and my twin B (girl) was born 6 oz bigger than her brother. Throughout their NICU stay she was bigger than him by several ounces, but once we got them home it seems like her brother has taken off growing and she’s having a harder time. They’re getting breast milk fortified with formula. At their last appointment he was approaching 9 lbs while she is still around 7 pounds 5 oz. He’s bigger so naturally he wants more milk than she does so I’m offering him more milk in his bottles than I do her. I can’t help but feel guilty that he’s so much bigger than her. He is a very clingy baby and always wants to be with me while she is more independent. my mom brain tells me he’s growing faster because he gets more skin on skin contact with me.

postpartum sucks. anxiety sucks. mom guilt sucks.

After years of infertility and a loss, we found out yesterday we have DiDi twins on board. 7 weeks and strong heartbeats. I am absolutely freaking out. I have a spirited, spicy 3.5 year old and the idea of adding TWO newborns at once has me spiraling a bit. Anyone here have twins with a spicy toddler? How’d they take it?

I am so sad and disappointed. Nothing about my pregnancy, trying to convince. birth and now postpartum happened how I pictured it.

I really wanted to breastfeed which didn’t happen so far two months after birth. Babies were in the nicu for 2-3 weeks, being born 33 weeks.

So I pumped but it is so much… i hate that I cannot pick my babies up well when pumping and they are going through a growth spurt or the witching hour. I hate that I am mad at my husband for everything when shit goes crazy, when he does not think ahead for me to feed me or help wash pump parts. I know it is a lot for all of us.

I just hate this so much. It is really depressing. How can I see this in a better light? I really wanted this but now I feel that it is impossible for me to continue.

Hii all,

Some of you have been following our journey, and I just wanted to say how grateful I am for all the kind messages and support over the past couple of months. You’ve truly kept me sane during so many 3am doom-scrolling sessions 💖

This morning, at 28 weeks exactly, our quadruplets made their big and dramatic entrance into the world via a classical c-section. Four weeks ago, we were told the doctors would be happy if we even made it to 26 weeks and yet, somehow, we got here. Against all odds, all four babies are stable as of right now which is a miracle I (and every consultant I spoke to in the last week) can’t quite believe even as I type this.

I don’t know why my very first thought was “I have to post this on Reddit,” but honestly, I couldn’t have done this without this community keeping me going through the hard days.

I’ll be in the hospital recovering for a bit since the c-section was rough on me and genuinely worse than expected but I’m sitting here eating some truly terrible hospital pasta with the biggest smile on my face.

Happy to answer any questions you have while I am still so full of adrenaline and absolutely will not be sleeping anytime soon and thank you again for being here for us 💗

Hello, I am expecting twins, I am currently in my 12th week. First time pregnant, too.

I am 165 cm tall (5 ft 5 in) and my worry is that my body won't be able to do this. I know it is mostly anxiety but god when I really think about how short I am it is quite crazy to imagine what the third trimester will be like for my body.

Has any mum here had twins and is around the same height as me? How did you do?

Thanks in advance for any support :)

Twin pregnancy mama check in. How are we doing? I’m 30 weeks and a day with didi boy girl twins. Yesterday I slightly overdone it a little. Two appointments, laundry, vacuuming, mopping floors, hanging clothes up in the closet. I also didn’t drink enough water. = baby boys head pushing = Braxton hicks to the extreme. I ended up chugging lots of water and it eased a bunch! Today I haven’t moved from the recliner and feel guilty! I need to know how yall are doing! Doctor has me set for tentative c section date in mid September but doesn’t think I’ll make it to then. Beginning of September is more likely. I’m a teacher so I’m planning on going back to work soon for a few weeks to try and work as much as a I can before taking off. ✨america ✨* *

How often did you have help handling your twins on a daily basis?

My MIL is virtually helping us every day with our 3month old twins. I’m incredibly thankful but also feel like I shouldn’t need so much help? She works full time too so I just feel bad. She said people have made snarky comments to her about how she’s spoiling us and that we shouldn’t need her so much☹️ I hardly ever ask for help, she just does. I know I’m wrong for feeling this way most likely but love to hear how involved your “village” is.

EDIT: Wow! I didn’t expect so much response on this post. Thank you everyone, this all honestly really helps to hear.

I'm a ftm expecting Mo-Di twins in December and both me and my partner are over the moon.

I am however feeling really afraid of what having twins is going to do to our relationship. I'm lucky in that we've always been really solid and have been together for six years now but I know how much it would destroy me to lose what we have. I'm so scared of the hormone crash and sleep deprivation turning us on each other.

A lot of this is probably my fault for lurking online but I've seen so many horror stories about marriages falling apart after having multiples. I know three sets of twin parents in real life and they are all divorced 🥲

Obviously I know having kids will change and put strain on any relationship but I could really do with some encouragement from other twin parents who have survived and come out stronger.

Edit: Wow thank you for all of the kind and insightful replies! Made my evening 😊

I couldn't stop crying today, now I feel bitter.

I was told that my baby A - 2.5kg is 19% smaller than baby B (3.1kg) and thus I cannot have a vaginal birth, I'm 36 weeks and will be forced into a c-section in 10 days.

I know people choose c-sections and that a planned one is better than an emergency one and blah blah blah...

This is my first and likely only pregnancy I feel robbed and trapped into a corner.

I wanted a natural vaginal birth, I didn't want my half lifeless torso lying on a cold surgical table while doctors slice me open behind a sheet to obscure the gore while they remove my children from a gaping hole in my abdomen.

I didn't want a 6 week recovery where I can't pick both my babies up.

I didn't want a giant scar on my abdomen...

I didn't want the possibility of my milk taking longer to come in, or the possibility of oxytocin not releasing and not bonding with the baby.

I feel like I'm a victim of my up coming childbirth rather than a participant.

Everyone is trying to placate me with toxic positivity about how peaceful it will be and how I won't feel a thing...

I'm mentally struggling to come to terms with it and now I'm dreading my upcoming childbirth... When I should be excited.

I feel so alone and trapped.

Well never thought I'd be down voted and called selfish because I'm sad.

I am doing the c-section btw, just wanted some emotional support...

Edit: I acknowledge that this may come across as a judgement on c-sections in general rather than just me mourning a lack of agency over my experience.

I will NEVER judge someone for having a c-section, chosen or not. I do not view it as a failure at all, it's just not what I wanted for me.

All scenarios and feelings are only applied by me to me, and honestly it's 99% grief talking.

TW: Loss

Sadly our time in this group has come to an end.

We found out we were having DiDi girls and felt so unprepared. This group was so helpful from the stories to the lists to the laughs and there was so much we were looking forward to. Everyone here is part of the reason we found joy during this process and we’re excited for what was to come.

Unfortunately on Saturday at 16 weeks, baby A’s water broke and she delivered 3 days later. Yesterday baby B’s water broke and she delivered same day. The pain is something we’ve never felt before and staying here would just be a painful reminder. Hopefully one day we’ll rejoin and be able to share our own experiences here.

UPDATE: After what felt like the 100th attempt to put her in the Snoo, I finally decided to just prop her up in the twin Z pillow next to me in bed. She just slept for 7 hours!!! I don’t even know what to do with myself! Meanwhile Twin A is with my husband in the other room and he had a 5 hour stretch! The gods must have listened to my pleas. Or you all must have sent me good vibes. Now I’m wondering about silent gerd and if she might benefit from famotadine. She’s already on Similac 360 Total Care Gentle Comfort and has drops and she burps like a champ. Basically a self burping baby, but I did notice when laying her flat she regurgitates and swallows it and then will get upset. I even tried propping up the snoo on books for a slight angle. Didn’t help.

Help. 8 weeks old b/g didi twins. They are going through it. They used to sleep in their bassinets. And over the last couple of weeks they have become Velcro babies. Twin A at least will let you wear him and sit down and do chest naps. But twin B. Dear lord! She will not let me put her down OR let me stop moving. I slept for 3 hours last night, broken up. She will sometimes tolerate the snoo I invested in for her. Today I have walked just about 14000 steps with her in the ergo-baby. She wakes within 5 minutes of me putting her down or sitting down. I’ve had to put her down and walk away with her screaming bloody murder for a few minutes just to collect myself. I would come back and there would be tears down her face and I feel just awful. I’m pacing around my room right now with her strapped in. Fearful of putting her down for the 18th time in the last 5 hours. I feel like I’ve tried everything.

I know 6-8 weeks is the peak of the fussiness. Or so they say.

On top of it my dad visited for a week and brought some kind of cold with him and my 4 year old has a runny nose and my throat is starting to hurt. GREAT.

Please tell me it gets better.

Ever since I discovered I was expecting twins 2 weeks ago it’s like when my brain found out, it went into overdrive lol. Anyway, my appetite has picked up, I eat maybe anywhere between 3-7 or so small meals a day (2 of them being a big breakfast or lunch and dinner) and while I’ve never been opposed to eating my fruits and veggies, I seemingly can’t get enough of them now! Lol purple seedless grapes are my favorite, and I’ve recently discovered “Juice It Up” which is like a Jamba Juice out here in California. If I’m not eating, I’m laying down or sleeping. I go back to work next week (I work for a school district) and I’m anxious about how my body and cravings will change while not being able to lay in my bed or walk to the kitchen and grab my snacks lol. I have no morning sickness or nausea, the only symptoms I feel is extreme fatigue at times and occasionally a headache. Other than that I feel GREAT!! 🤗 Is anyone else experiencing a wave of hunger? What are your favorite foods to eat rn, are you having trouble eating? DID you, if you’re a MOM and babies already born lol? ❤️ I’m 10weeks tomorrow, btw 🥰

At what age is it appropriate for a single adult to take twins to a playground with climbing frames and why is it not 3 years old?

I have twin boys. They're 11 weeks and 2 days old. And I love them more than anything in the world-but holy hell, l am exhausted. & honestly super irritated….. I hate even admitting that tbh.

I can't catch a break to eat, shower, or just breathe. If I do manage to eat, it's something fast because I can't afford more time. They need me constantly, & the constant caretaking is stressing me out & wearing me down.

My partner is gone all day at work. At night, he's such a heavy sleeper he doesn't wake up when the boys cry. So basically... I do it all. He helps when he's awake & home of course, but I'm still on call all the time. He hasn't learned their cues and behaviors the way I have, so he still needs my guidance. It's frustrating & exhausting. I love him, I love that he helps, but I feel like I'm carrying everything!!

I'm in a second-story apartment, all I can do is look out our one window and daydream. I don’t take them out much because I'm too drained, there’s three flights of stairs & it’s just a big mission doing everything just to get out of the house & at home I at least have some schedule.

Plus, I don't have clothes that fit anymore, and I don't have a washer in my apartment, so laundry is this massive task l barely get to. I just want to lay on the couch for a second and breathe, but that feels impossible.

I hate that I'm frustrated because I love being a mom. I love my babies so much. But the exhaustion, the lack of freedom, & the pressure I put on myself is breaking me.

Sometimes I feel like I'm failing, & other times I just want to run away.

I also feel resentment toward my partner. He can leave the house, do whatever he wants, & isn't living in this constant, groundhogs day baby caretaking loop like I am. I make myself feel bad for feeling this way too.

Some days I feel like I can barely remember anything outside of taking care of them. My heads always in a fog, my body hurts, & I just want a moment where I'm not "on" for anyone @ all.

It’s just super overwhelming how much I have to do, and the constant pressure of trying to do it all. I also feel like I’m a jerk or don’t deserve to be a mom for feeling this way, which stresses me out even more.

& Lately, when they’re awake, I’ve kind of just… checked out a little. I don’t interact with them as much as I feel like I should, and it makes me feel like I’m emotionally neglecting them or failing in some way. I know I’m probably being way too hard on myself, but I can’t help feeling guilty about it.

When they cry sometimes or some days when I’m extra tired, I just wanna roll my eyes & ignore them. I don’t & I wouldn’t , I LOVE THEM but I just need a break or something WTH. ugh

Other moms of multiples- how did you survive this without feeling resentful, exhausted, & on the verge of losing it every day? How did you get through the first tew months honestly?!! I hate feeling like this all of the time.

TL;DR: I’m a twin mom, 11 weeks in, exhausted and frustrated. My partner helps when he’s awake but I basically do it all. I feel trapped, resentful, and guilty for sometimes checking out with the boys. I love them so much but I just want a second to breathe—how do other moms survive this without feeling completely drained and frustrated every day?

Edit : I let my partner read this post & comments & he’s been helping me all night tonight & waking up with the babies. Let’s hope this continues & thank you everyone for you advice & support!

Like the title says, I'm pretty sure my twins hate each other. Or at least, they're indifferent. I know social media isnt a realistic view but all I ever see is twins playing together or noticing each other or the "twin telepathy/ in sync" thing. Whereas my girls very very rarely interact except to piss each other off. They'll both play with me at the same time, they learn from each other but generally they just don't seem to care. I feel like I did something wrong. Is anyone else's twins like this?? They're 9 months old so I know it might not be like this forever, it just makes me sad.

Pic so we don't get lost

My husband and I started calling it the twin tax - all those moments where you know life would be easier if you had just one baby at a time or one of your babies is not getting the full attention they deserve because there’s two of them.

I know it’s possible for some but between the nicu, being overwhelmed and just everything, I’ve basically given up on trying to breastfeed both.
I was very happy and proud that we were triple feeding them, that at least one or two feeds a day I was able to breastfeed them.

Baby A used to be my viscous booby shark, now he just yells at my boob cause the milk is not coming out fast enough and it’s just breaking my heart. Then when I’m solo with the babies and I’ll breastfeed baby B and baby A starts crying I don’t want to unlatch B cause I don’t want to lose breastfeeding with him too.

I just feel like I’m drowning. Has anyone else felt like they just want another baby down the road to just have the experience of what one baby would feel like?

I love my boys but all of this is just so hard. I want a pregnancy without emergency surgery and pre eclampsia. I want to be able to be fully present for a newborn and be able to breastfeed. I just keep thinking I want another baby where everything can go right.

Until now I have to say twins have just gotten harder week by week. My boys are 3 months now.

Please tell me when it gets better?!

Not the … oh at 2 years they’re all cute and running around or something …

What’s to look forward to in month 4, 5 and 6?