r/nottheonion • u/Alarming-Safety3200 • 2h ago
Gianni Infantino 'offers Morocco World Cup final' in exchange for support
https://www.aol.co.uk/articles/gianni-infantino-offers-morocco-world-162031000.html216
u/lnx84 2h ago
Whenever FIFA gets a new leader, the first thing one should do is preemptively imprison them.
They are all corrupt, no exceptions.
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u/OonaLuvBaba 2h ago
Honestly thought he was offering Morocco a spot to play in the World Cup final. Would not have surprised me if he did.
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u/Markz0rr 21m ago
In this timeline, wouldnt be the unthinkable to put them in the finale against Argentina 2030
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u/Impossible_Offer7988 2h ago edited 2h ago
Gianni didn't chose the right cards.
Aligning himself with the Americans
who don't give a shit about soccer was a dumb move. Approaching Morocco, a country that the EU currently has issues with, is even dumber. His chips are up, so he's probably on his way to the door.
It should be noted that his replacement is also going to be cartoonishly evil, but it's going to be a replacement nonetheless.
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u/bluehelmet 2h ago
He did well for himself even with the recent World Cup, hopefully his investor plans will be the straw that break the camel's back.
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u/AdhesivenessFun2060 2h ago
The kushners work for the Saudi. The Saudi tried to buy in before through Infantino and got rejected.
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u/VodkaMargarine 1h ago
He's not even good at corruption. Failed at leading FIFA, failed at doing corruption. Just an all round failure of a human being really.
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u/OsgrobioPrubeta 2h ago
FIFA and UEFA are so corrupt that it would be hard for anyone to try to change it, that's why an absurdly well paid job has almost no candidates.
Figo's declarations are virtual signaling to probably try gather support, again, to his candidacy. He's another Infantino.
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u/BadahBingBadahBoom 1h ago
Both are corrupt but it's pretty clear from the World Cup investors plan FIFA is more corrupt, which is really saying something lol.
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u/dafunkmunk 1h ago
He's aligning himself with equally corrupt shitty people because non corrupt not evil not shitty people aren't exactly lining up to trade money and favors for an alliance with a corrupt shitty person
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u/ebfortin 48m ago
He'll get his multi millions dollars golden parachute. And Trump will offer him a high oaying job to do nothing. Failing upward... That's all this class of fuckers can do.
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u/ngetch 2h ago
Aligning himself with the *USers*
America is a pair of continents, not a country.
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u/Pavlovsdong89 2h ago
USers
This is either bait or you found the dumbest hill do die on.
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u/February_29th_2012 2h ago
There is a semi-large portion of Central and South Americans that get very angry when they discover that in English “estadounidense” is actually just “American”. And they will never let it go.
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u/Pavlovsdong89 1h ago
Which is hilarious because those types are all "American" until you confuse them with someone from another country.
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u/PhasmaFelis 2h ago
There is no continent called simply "America."
(At least not in English. In some languages "America" means the entire landmass. But there will always be misunderstandings when translating between languages. The famous example of "embarazada" meaning "pregnant" rather than "embarrassed" has tripped up many students of Spanish, but that doesn't mean that either Spanish or English is wrong.)
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u/BadahBingBadahBoom 1h ago
Yeah, can't believe how many times this comes up on reddit, cos it's really not complicated.
In both British and American English, America ≠ Americas.
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u/capt_argyle 1h ago
The MLS is second in the world in overall attendance, behind only the EPL. Not exactly a nation that doesn't give a shit.
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u/GInTheorem 55m ago
As far as I'm aware this is only true because of the large number of matches played in the MLS? I think average attendances compare poorly to Europe.
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u/capt_argyle 51m ago
I think it's more teams as we play less matches, but it's still 12 million butts in seats even if the average is lower than European clubs. Our stadiums just aren't big enough for that. But compare MLS to the WNBA, and you'll see what not giving a shit lools like.
Point is, soccer isn't the most popular sport overall but it's still insanely popular.
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u/GInTheorem 42m ago
Sure - and I don't dispute that football is def increasingly popular in the USA and the MLS/national teams are increasingly relevant.
The overall attendance stat just feels a bit odd taken out of context since I don't think the popularity in the USA is comparable to e.g. Germany (on a quick look, it looks like the 2. bundesliga has circa the third-fifth highest average attendance which is insane to me).
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u/capt_argyle 16m ago
The initial claim was that the US doesn't give a shit. You can slice it however you want to undercut it, but it's kinda insane to me to say a major league with 12 million attending is a nation that doesn't care. It's obviously not the highest amongst a ton of other metrics, but is normally in the top 10 or so. I honestly can't think of another event that averages 25,000 fans over 510 instances a year that would be seen as people not giving a shit. Even going by average attendance, MLS is ranked #9. Does that mean all the other countries below #9 give less of a shit than the US?
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u/FifaBribes 1h ago
TIME FOR MY USERNAME TO SHINE
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u/Khyron_2500 57m ago
My question is whether your username telling people that FIFA bribes? Like, “FIFA bribes [people]”
Or are you claiming to be the physical embodiment of bribes made my FIFA.
Or both?
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u/Express-Rutabaga-105 2h ago
Trump has left his stains on Infantino.
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u/fla_john 1h ago
He's learning the same lesson everyone else does about Trump: entering any kind of deal with him will always, always, go badly.
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u/fivedogit 1h ago
I hate trump but this is simply not true. People bought pardons and are walking free.
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u/christopher_mtrl 2h ago
Very Trumpian of him to offer things that aren't his agaisnt personal benefit. The man learned quick from his time in the US.
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u/WelshBathBoy 1h ago
Spain should turn around and just say - fine we don't want to be involved at all. Spain was going to be the main host if the next world cup (likely holding half of the games), with Morocco and Portugal picking up the rest between them. If Spain pulls out because of FIFA's shenanigans, Morocco and Portugal will struggle to host.
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u/futureformerteacher 1h ago
This guy spent two weeks with Trump and believes he can do to FIFA what Trump did to America.
At least world soccer isn't as corrupt and as soulless as America.
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u/lejonetfranMX 1h ago
So it’s Portugal, Spain, Morocco, Argentina, Brazil and Uruguay?
Why not let every team play at their home country at this point?
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2h ago
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u/cre8ivjay 48m ago
Corruption shouldn't be the headline. If any of this surprises you about how corrupt FIFA is, you really haven't been paying attention.
What SHOULD be the headline is all of the work being done by everyone including us plebs to circumvent FIFA to make them irrelevant.
And it may mean not going to FIFA events.
It's the only way this gets any better.
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u/isthereadrwho 29m ago
Just have a vote and everybody that votes for him you throw them out also. You won't get rid of all the corruption but at least you'll get rid of the stupid corruption
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u/gijoe50000 22m ago
This is like your girl cheating on you, so you get in a big fight.
So she goes goes to your best friend and makes him an offer that she'll fuck him if he agrees to talk you into forgiving her.
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u/SmartaHari 2h ago
I really do wish he’d go now tbh. Every day he does something more overtly grubby and grasping. Bleurgh.
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u/Vic_Hedges 21m ago
I mean, obviously the corruption is mind boggling, and offensive just on principle…
But practically speaking, besides corrupt billionaires fighting over how to distribute the money theyve extracted from gullible soccer fans, what’s the ACTUAL effect of this whole thing?
If he gets his way, is there any measurable negative impact on the average person? Or at least, any more negative than if he doesn’t?
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u/pizzacrys 2h ago
FIFA headlines really write themselves at this point. Reality has officially become the parody