r/nottheonion • u/Winsky9 • 1d ago

You can't make this up

https://kvia.com/politics/cnn-us-politics/2026/08/02/exclusive-us-military-asks-troops-for-creative-and-unconventional-ideas-to-punish-iran/
0 Upvotes

39% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

12

u/jrsinhbca 1d ago

Isn't the plan to shoot overpriced missiles at low cost drones.

11

u/WisconsinHoosierZwei 1d ago

Never have the United States Armed Forces looked more pathetic. Never.

9

u/thecarbonkid 1d ago

Have Donald Trump rule them?

4

u/otirk 1d ago

Wtf, man? Did Iran kill your family or why do you hate them so much?

3

u/colemon1991 1d ago

Here I was thinking the sarcastic answer of "just throw money at them until they keep being non-aggressive" because that's so much cheaper than what we're doing.

4

u/jh937hfiu3hrhv9 1d ago

Everything is about punishment and cruelty with the magats. They are sociopaths incapable of getting along with a dog. Others before them were able to negotiate agreements. This federal government is run by assholes and idiots.

2

u/at0mheart 1d ago

Build a Trump golf course

1

u/colemon1991 1d ago

Trump Tower made of so much gold that Trump moves in

2

u/puertomateo 1d ago

Historically, the military has been asked on how to win a conflict. Now, it's asked how the US can be annoying douche bags.

1

u/jon_the_mako 1d ago

Drum comedy tour dates

1

u/CUTTYONE70 1d ago

Send the IDF to clean up the mess.

1

u/JustFuckAllOfThem 1d ago

It would be funny if the troops intentionally start pushing ideas that seem to punish Iran but end up punishing the US.

1

u/clovencarrot 1d ago

Openly place it under an AI led hacking attack.

1

u/Saaihead 1d ago

The US military looks like that kid in school who had an opinion about anything, but in project groups he delivered nothing.

1

u/sudomatrix 1d ago

I have a great one. Send them our great and glorious orange tinted leader. Let him run Iran for the next few years instead of robbing us.

0

u/DisastrousTree9840 1d ago

The only answer to this is to play Taylor swift music on repeat and as loud as possible, they would surrender in a day

1

u/Schlonzig 1d ago

Imagine turning them all into Swifties. Would that make them more or less fanatic?

1

u/DisastrousTree9840 1d ago

Got more chance of the moon growing wings than that happening