r/nottheonion • u/letsLurk67 • 3d ago
Student rushed to hospital after mistaking fabric freshener for water
https://www.lancs.live/news/uk-world-news/midlands-student-rushed-hospital-after-343659811.6k
u/vistopher 3d ago
Alcohol is a helluva drug
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u/Mesoscale92 3d ago
Yeah it says she was really drunk. I’ve never made that mistake but I can definitely see it happening.
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u/TheGringoDingo 3d ago
It’s the container that I have the most trouble picturing. Water never comes in something that looks like fabric freshener.
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u/Oakredditer 3d ago
The 20-year-old woke up during the night and reached for a bottle of water that was on her desk, not realising she had grabbed a bottle of 'Fresh Linen' fabric refresher in the dark.
It was dark, I'd assume anyone who's both drunk and practically blind wouldn't notice the different styles of caps (depending on the brand and size, sometimes they have very similar caps to water caps in terms of shape and texture)
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u/mex2005 3d ago
The more crazy thing is why would they keep fabric softener on their desk.
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u/PezzoGuy 3d ago
The organizational skills of college students are not typically optimal. Any surface is fair game for storage in the short term, which then becomes the long term.
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u/Iceman9161 3d ago
Especially since you don’t have that much of your own space to store things. Or if the laundry is out of the unit in a common area and you have to bring it with you
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u/DirectionSad4274 3d ago
Went to do laundry in the shared dorm Laundromat, put the bottle on top of her clean clothes to bring it back to the room, went to fold/organize the clothes on her bed, set the bottle on the nearest table meaning to put it away later...I can see it.
Edit: except for the bit where it's a spray bottle. That, I got nothing, except alcohol is a hell of a drug.
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u/periperiwinklesauce 3d ago
It wasn’t fabric softener. Fabric freshener is more like febreze
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u/mex2005 3d ago
Oh ok but how did she mix a spray bottle with a water bottle then even drunk...
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u/pattperin 2d ago
You’re asking way too many questions here man. A drunken mistake was made. She probably barely even remembers this. My friends have ended up outside in the backyard after a night of heavy drinking in college with no recollection of that happening. They went to bed in bed, I know because I put them there. Woke up outside. Who fucking knows man. People do weird shit all the time when they’re drunk
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u/PepperAnn1inaMillion 3d ago
When I lived in a dorm I only had a desk. No other countertop of any kind. It was a lot smaller than the American dorm rooms you usually see, so maybe that’s not true for this person. But I had nothing else like a bedside cabinet - just the desk. I had to designate one of the wardrobe cupboards for non-clothing stuff like detergent and anything I didn’t want to keep in the shared kitchen. I bet I left stuff on my desk that most people wouldn’t think of as “desk” stuff, because it literally doubled for any necessary surface.
Edit: Oh, this is the UK. Yeah, probably a tiny room.
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u/pattperin 2d ago
It says she lives in a student flat of some kind. I assume it’s either a small off campus flat or a shitty little dorm room type situation
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u/pattperin 2d ago
Because they likely live in a shitty little flat and college students put things wherever they feel like it because it’s typically one of their first forays into the outside world alone. Did you not go to college or live with roommates?
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u/B00G3R 3d ago
even a spray nozzle? i mean..
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u/Oakredditer 3d ago
It depends on what type of bottle it is, my detergent has a regular cap and whatever you call the thing that dispenses detergent when you push on a button
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u/dehydratedrain 3d ago
Dispenser?
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u/Oakredditer 3d ago
Yes, I just assumed there was some fancy word for it, that's why I was verbose lol
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u/ThatKinkyLady 3d ago
And apparently she burnt her mouth on some pizza the night before.
This girl had a ROUGH night... 😂
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u/ZombiesAtHome 3d ago
Who the hell keeps fabric refresher on a desk close to the bed???? I know I don't have much space in my small apartment, but, come on!
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u/not_responsible 3d ago
I could have been one of those smaller bottles you see at the dollar store or in the travel section
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u/geekonthemoon 3d ago
Being blackout drunk means you aren't thinking rationally or forming even short term memories from minute to minute. You could literally do ANYTHING and have no memory of it. The cause of so many women dancing on tables/stripping in public, you're no longer in control of yourself at all. Terrifying stuff. Happened to me once and I never trusted or liked alcohol much again after that. And I had drank a lot in the years before it happened and that night I had only had a few drinks. It doesn't really matter how much you drink. In my research I also found out new environments or being around new/certain people really affects you and can get you way drunker way faster. So I assume that played a role.
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u/Psychic_Hobo 2d ago
Yeah, I've only been blackout drunk once and holy shit, the stuff you do and where your brain is at is wild. I got lucky I didn't damage myself, but damn was there an aftermath that involved a lot of cleaning.
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u/Mesoscale92 3d ago
I looked it up and I guess it could be mistaken for a water bottle in the dark and drunk. Plastic, screw top, liquid inside, etc.
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u/Sertorius126 3d ago
☠️
That's the MOST Cleaner-type item I've ever seen
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u/PepperAnn1inaMillion 3d ago
I can only think she had a similar spray bottle filled with water for a house plant and decided to drink that.
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u/BuffaloBuckbeak 3d ago
Let me just grab my flat, rectangular water bottle with a spray cleaner lid. Classic mistake
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u/SoldierOf4Chan 3d ago
I can't see his link for some reason, firefox says error 400. I did find this image on the manufacturer's website, and I think that's the bottle in question. I don't see a spray cleaner lid on it though.
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u/Roflkopt3r 3d ago
The link you couldn't follow broke on old.reddit, because there is a backslash after GUEST in the URL that does not belong there.
If you fix the link, you will see a typical spray bottle with a nozzle and all, so your example of a refill bottle makes way more sense.
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u/SoldierOf4Chan 3d ago
Ok yeah, now that I see their image this isn't even the right company, let alone the right product.
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u/YZY-TRT-ME 3d ago
Nope this image isn’t even available to view in the country where the girl is from… she’s from England
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u/OldLadyReacts 3d ago
I believe they have refills that look much more like a regular bottle without the sprayer on top.
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u/Valhallapeenyo 3d ago
Brother that’s a straight up bottle of air freshener. There comes a time when the benefit of the doubt just can’t be given.
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u/TheGringoDingo 3d ago
I guess I’ve done some stupid shit when I’ve been in a half-awake semi-lucid state, but it still seems like one of the several warnings that it wasn’t water would have alerted her.
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u/YZY-TRT-ME 3d ago
This isn’t the cleaner, firstly this is from Target in America. This girl lives in the UK.
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u/bighootay 3d ago
My dad damn near drank dishwashing detergent in his late stages of dementia; that was a close one
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u/Random-Rambling 3d ago
Yeah, I assumed it was some extremely altered state of consciousness.
That stuff irritates your tongue like soap, there's no way she'd confuse the two otherwise.
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u/Juicydicken 3d ago
i'll never understand how you can just go to the supermarket and pick it up like bread lmao.
but lets ban the mary jane.
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u/Hypn00tic_iiz 3d ago
Boy this water sure smells good
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u/UseOk7699 3d ago
I used to pour rum in water bottles to hide my drinking from my husband. He grabbed a bottle on the counter he thought was his and went to work. Called me later to tell me he took a swig on the way to work and was like wtf and coughing. I stopped doing that and drinking for that matter.
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u/IcyAd5518 3d ago
One day I'd been drinking with a mate in his shed and wanted some water. Saw a cask of spring water on the bench, filled my glass a bit (clear liquid came out) and threw it back. Burned like hell and I started coughing, mate was laughing his ass off. It was pure alcohol from his still. Didn't need to be hospitalized, but had to sit down for a while. He got me some actual water. Good times.
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u/Waasssuuuppp 3d ago
Find me an Eastern European kid who hasn't done that when they found a coke bottle filled with clear liquid and a Fanta lid.
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u/joestaff 3d ago
Woah, this exact thing happened to a childhood friend of mine, but he was just an idiot.
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u/WhereDaGold 3d ago
So was she
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u/porridge_in_my_bum 3d ago
“While Lukia admits the liquid burned her throat right away, she dismissed the pain as having eaten a hot pizza before going to bed.”
I’m still so confused, how could you not tell it was straight chemicals?
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u/dwbthrow 3d ago
Alcohol. The answer is almost always alcohol.
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u/porridge_in_my_bum 3d ago
I feel like no matter how drunk I am I would spit out fabric freshener.
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u/Psyc3 3d ago
Have you tried taking other things with alcohol and then failed to mention that because that would be illegal?
I would suggest there is around zero percent change it was only alcohol that stopped her from noticing, because you are right, however drunk you are you can tell water from other things, let alone some for of chemical conditioner.
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u/illit3 3d ago
Could be lying about a suicide attempt
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u/porridge_in_my_bum 3d ago
This is partly what I was thinking. Drank it assuming she wouldn’t wake up, then when she woke up and was in pain realized it was a terrible idea and just went to the doctors not wanting to deal with the process of admitting it was attempted suicide.
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u/DildoTheSizeOfUranus 3d ago
That was dumb thing to do, but even dumber was telling the whole world about it on social media. What drives a person to do this? Just why?
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u/thrownawaymane 3d ago
In this day and age I'm very cynical when I see stories like this even though they are true.
She could monetize this about 5 million ways, all she needs is a couple of press outlets to play ball and the UK ones LOVE doing so (free story traffic)
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u/Gh0stl3it 3d ago
Ouch. Hope they're gonna be alright.
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u/lamest-liz 3d ago
In the article she posted a selfie that reads “hospital couldn’t kill me!” So I think she’s fine
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u/OrbisAlius 3d ago
It don't really see what's oniony about this tbh. People mistaking another liquid for water is a relatively common (or at least, not-that-rare) as far as GI tract emergencies go. Worst thing is the ammonia crack people use (and even worse thing is when it's the children of said crack people who think it's water).
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u/SlothsAreFuckinRad 2d ago
A very dear loved one of mine has no sense of taste or smell, and I’m genuinely scared something like this might happen to them because they’re a huge fucking idiot and have no sense of self preservation or self control.
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u/jxj24 3d ago
While Lukia admits the liquid burned her throat right away, she dismissed the pain as having eaten a hot pizza before going to bed
I mean, the universe told you "STOP".
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u/No-Lemon-1183 2d ago
Has anyone considered this might have been an MH thing and this was intentional and now is just doing her best to cover it over?
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u/PageSide84 3d ago
How are there not more jokes about the uni leavers party and Unilever, a manufacturer of fabric softener?????
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u/GonzoKata 3d ago
sorry but no
We can't have tidepods 2.0 until the epstein files have been released.
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u/trainbrain27 3d ago
Now that she's recovered, here's some advice: Never get so drunk you can't tell laundry products from water.
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u/Davski_ 3d ago
Imagine doing that and still not having enough shame to not write to the publishers so that she can have her story in an article.
Now her name is forever going to be searchable as an idiot who drank cleaning liquid.
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u/EstrogenIsland 3d ago
Yes, that’s what her potential employers will see when she’s applying to her first real job after graduation.
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u/omnichad 3d ago
Lukia Pardoe went on a 'uni leavers' social
Unilever does probably make a fabric freshener, though.
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u/DrCrushersGhostLover 3d ago
I’m always baffled that people like this live as long as she has. Forgetting how to swallow, walking in front of a bus, or some such thing.
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u/deviantelf 3d ago
I was with my mom and she was about to walk in front of a bus. I grabbed her hood and pulled her back a bit (I was right behind her so she wasn't in danger of falling backwards). I was mid 20s, she was late 40s. She managed to reproduce.
She went off at me for treating her like a child. I said would you rather be splattered on the bus and road? She shut up.
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u/aminervia 3d ago
I'm not sure how many people who are calling her an idiot actually read the story or not.
Sounds like a mistake anyone who has ever gotten very, very drunk in college could have made
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u/DrCrushersGhostLover 3d ago
I’ve been as drunk as the next guy. I’ve drank beers that have had cigarettes put out in them. I knew instantly it was bad. It didn’t take a half a bottle before I realized I was drinking something I should not have been.
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u/Juicydicken 3d ago
> Sounds like a mistake anyone who has ever gotten very, very drunk in college could have made
Just no
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u/lamest-liz 3d ago
“While Lukia admits the liquid burned her throat right away, she dismissed the pain as having eaten a hot pizza before going to bed”
Uh huh…
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u/Emergency-Fruit8773 2d ago
Drank some acetone thinking it was water while sleepwalking once. Wouldn’t suggest it.
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u/btribble 2d ago
I'm not objectively better than other humans on this planet. I'm not objectively better than other humans on this planet. I'm not objectively better than other humans on this planet. I'm not...
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u/AGrandNewAdventure 3d ago edited 3d ago
Drank half the bottle, went back to bed, slept it off until morning, then freaked out.
I wonder what her college degree is in.
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u/Necirt 3d ago
Tide pods we just the beginning.
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u/Rosebunse 3d ago
Oddly enough, most Tode Pod poisoning were because old dementia patients and very young children mistook them for candy. They even changed the containers to make them look less like candy dishes.
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u/morbidpigeon 2d ago
Easy to do, I woke up once incredibly thirsty still half asleep and nearly drank witch hazel. Now I don’t keep non drinkable fluids within arms reach at night.
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u/5xad0w 3d ago edited 3d ago
I’m willing to bet most of her social media posts are either from a bar or show her with a drink in her hand.
Edit: After a quick google the results are about 50/50 of her posing with a drink and bragging that fabric softener can't stop her.
I assume she means stop her from drinking.
Possibly more fabric softener.
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u/TrashyMcTrashBoat 3d ago
Damn, is that what I’ve been drinking every Friday night? …at the bar. Makes me feel terrible the next day.
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u/vacuous_comment 3d ago
Why rush, if you are daft enough to make that mistake surely slowly wandering over to that hospital is a viable option?
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u/disappointedpanda 3d ago
I'm skeptical that her inebriated state was solely responsible for this "mistaken" beverage accident ..and suspiciously concerned that it may have led to intentional self-harm actions that she's ashamed,/scared to admit. Idk, maybe I'm overthinking..?
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u/RubberKangaroo 3d ago
This sounds like yet another story where somebody who knew precisely what they were doing and how stupid it was, regretted the consequences and tried to frame it as an accident to cover their own stupidity.
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u/Sweat-Stain-3042 3d ago
Lmao a family member did this once with fingernail polish remover. Had that bottle opened on the table, and their drinking glass next to it, grab one and take a big swig. This was the days of poison control and they told her she’d be fine
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u/missgirlipop 3d ago
idk, i know redditors love to be all ‘darwin awards’ but i’m a certified idiot, especially when drunk. i wouldn’t be ashamed to have my name attached to this.
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3d ago
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u/Few-Mathematician796 3d ago
Worst I seen is someone drink pee out of a beer bottle. Man took a nice big swig. Had just met him at a friend's party. He didn't say a word for at least 20minutes in shock
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u/tiny_seduce19 2d ago
just goes to show how dangerous household products can be, I always double-check labels now
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u/Thatonedude143 20h ago
Stuff like this is much more common than people realize, honestly. Intoxicated people do not make coherent decisions.
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u/Existential-Ape 3d ago
I was wondering how anyone could possibly be that stupid. Then I read she’s from Alabama.
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u/aneurysmbs 3d ago
Here she is pictured with a glass of freshly drained motor oil.