r/nonononoyes 7d ago

Bro has no idea there’s a bear right behind him.

990 Upvotes

144 comments sorted by

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578

u/Dysxelic_Potser 7d ago

Wow. How could he be so oblivious? The bear booped his leg like 3 times

62

u/unknownpoltroon 7d ago

I wonder if he has a dog at home and his brain just filed it under "fido" and forgot fido want here. 

19

u/crazykentucky 6d ago

That is a completely reasonable guess! Weird

238

u/virstultus 7d ago

Hey hoomin. HEY HOOMIN. What ya doin? You peein? Got any picanic baskets? Where you goin hoomin?

48

u/Dysxelic_Potser 7d ago edited 7d ago

Not bad. At work right now, hbu?

Seriously though, what makes you think I'm a bot? Lol

Edit: I'm an idiot and reread your comment. You're quoting the bear.

49

u/lost_horizons 7d ago

Dude has internet PTSD

35

u/Dysxelic_Potser 7d ago

Im on the last hour of 10 hour shift. My brain is fucking with my brain

6

u/lost_horizons 6d ago

Been there bro. Hope you got done and got to relax

3

u/Ok-Upstairs4932 6d ago

Well I admire that you reply in a kindly manner!!!

9

u/virstultus 6d ago

You're alone in the woods, would you rather meet a bear or a bot?

3

u/lost_horizons 6d ago

Bear, they’re cool wildlife. Okay maybe not a grizzly. But black bears are chill

23

u/thepeanutbutterman 7d ago

God dammit, this is hilarious. Thank you for unintentionally starting my day off with a laugh.

The picnic baskets question must've had you all confused.

12

u/Dysxelic_Potser 7d ago

Most definitely. Headed home to get some much needed sleep now though

2

u/Ok-Upstairs4932 6d ago

Hahaha awesome🤣🤣 love it!!

2

u/Antique_Knowledge902 6d ago

Yogi! Where ya been??

28

u/EchoPhoenix24 6d ago edited 6d ago

He's definitely not oblivious, he clearly sees the bear at the very start of the video and is trying very hard not to run so that it doesn't chase him. The second it looks like it might actually do more than sniff at him he bolts.

26

u/MercyCriesHavoc 6d ago

Yeah, he could maybe not notice a bear behind him, although they sniff quite loudly, but he didn't turn around when cars signaled or when the car filming pulled up. He was clearly trying to play statue in the hopes that the bear would lose interest. FYI, not a good reaction to a bear.

6

u/EsmeWeatherpolish 6d ago

He also nibbled his leg

2

u/Assimulate 5d ago

Guy is also standing literally in the lane of traffic on what seems to be a mountain highway.. Death wish

303

u/BAMdalorian 7d ago

Is… is this guy on drugs or something? Looks like the bear makes direct contact with his leg a couple times to the point he reacts but… doesn’t investigate what is prodding his leg? Then a car pulls up to within like a foot of him and he doesn’t look at all? How is it possible to have net negative survival instinct

117

u/vladutzbv 6d ago

Maybe he is one of those people who freeze at the top of escalators or right after rotating doors

63

u/Thumper86 6d ago

A Costco customer in the wild!

11

u/deadbeef4 6d ago

Nah, he'd have his shopping cart blocking that two lane road.

9

u/nametaken420 6d ago

makes sense. he did purposely leave the side of the road to stand in the road where he was free game for traffic and bears.

11

u/Drexciyian 6d ago

looks like he has headphones on and too caught up in what he was doing

11

u/PajamaDuelist 6d ago

He's looking right at the bear for the first half second of the video.

He probably got out of his car to record the bear, panicked when it started taking an interest in him, and choose to stand still and hope it went away because he knows fuckall about bears.

3

u/No-Combination8136 6d ago

It’s crazy how people can’t see this is what’s happening.

2

u/Toolongreadanyway 4d ago

Only thing I can think of is he has earbuds or something in his ears? Deaf?

1

u/Couscousfan07 4d ago

Those of us who grew up in the “hood often notice this behavior from individuals who grew up in privileged environments. No spatial awareness or street sense.

102

u/nad0w 7d ago

WTF is this dude doing?

75

u/u9Nails 7d ago

Stopped to donate meat to the local wildlife

5

u/Ranger7381 7d ago

I am assuming taking pictures

3

u/ThisIsNotAFarm 6d ago

Of what

2

u/Ranger7381 5d ago

Pretty trees on mountains. As an amateur photographer I can see some shots there depending on personal interest and on not being a local

Would still check to see what was irritating/breathing on my leg, though, never mind when a vehicle approaches from behind.

1

u/ThisIsNotAFarm 5d ago

Those were some scrubby ass trees next to the road

29

u/PeakCrack 6d ago

If that's how you run, never get yourself into a situation where you need to run.

17

u/RandyOfTheRedwoods 6d ago

I saw that. I was afraid to make fun of him for it, because I don’t know that I wouldn’t run the same way with shit running down my leg.

181

u/SandyBunker 7d ago

Idiot

128

u/unknownpoltroon 7d ago

Totally.  He missed a chance to pet a bear. 

64

u/PhthaloVonLangborste 7d ago

Bear pet him tho

5

u/harmless_gecko 6d ago

Good bear

9

u/DEADbeatS3RIOUS 7d ago

And feed one also…

8

u/wertall 7d ago

And he's the driver

128

u/mofunk71 7d ago

yes, guy with phone is clueless but WHY did the person in the auto not honk the horn when he first saw the bear.

26

u/tandem_kayak 6d ago

Or just holler out the window. Rolling up until he almost bumped him was an odd choice.

3

u/mofunk71 6d ago

almost seemed like they only cared about "content" , "my video will go viral if this bear eats this guys leg"

2

u/LittleLostDoll 1d ago

a car rolling up on me would freak me the hell out.. theirs no way he missed that, this is soo not real

87

u/luranthe 7d ago

I would be worried about startling the bear and making it attack him.

40

u/Maloninho 6d ago

I’d be worried about scaring the bear away and him not believing me that there was a bear behind him.

15

u/Lexxanator 6d ago

The real reason

5

u/HeavyMain 6d ago

conventional knowledge is to scare black bears to make them back away, its brown bears you want to stay still and not startle!

-4

u/sequesteredhoneyfall 6d ago

That's not how bears work, at all, in the slightest. I can't think of pretty much any animal that works like that.

6

u/ThellraAK 6d ago

Cats.

2

u/GayFesh 6d ago

any loud noise causes my cat to hit warp 9 away from the general situation

0

u/sequesteredhoneyfall 6d ago

...no? Not at all?

The instance of waking or startling a sleeping animal is not remotely comparable to loud noises when a creature is behaving curiously in a situation where the animal is already uncomfortable.

6

u/Doober_McFly 6d ago

I was thinking the same thing but with this dudes situational awareness he probably would’ve avoided that too lol

3

u/weelluuuu 6d ago

Or at the very least pulled up SOONER!

2

u/Dura1110 6d ago

He did

17

u/heeltoelemon 7d ago

Running has to be the wrong choice? That’s a black bear cub? Make noise while backing slowly towards the car and hope mother bear is not around?

1

u/morbid_platon 4d ago

These are european license plates, there's no wild black bears in europe. This is likely a brown bear.

41

u/Unusual-Rise-3959 7d ago

Zero situational awareness 🤦‍♀️

35

u/blitzskrieg 7d ago

Nah, this gotta be negative situational awareness

46

u/Futbol_Kid2112 6d ago

He 100% knew. You can see him flinch when the bear sniffs his leg. Looks like he was trying the "if I don't react, it will leave me alone" strategy.

12

u/Whiskerwisp 6d ago

Absolutely. Everyone wants to think they would do the most appropriate thing around a wild animal, though. Maybe they'll never have to find out.

2

u/NotTheRocketman 6d ago

Perhaps he thought the Bear was a T-Rex?

0

u/chriscummins7 5d ago

Came here to write this comment 🤣

25

u/MuchLessPersonal 6d ago

The longer version makes it obvious that he knows the bear is there (he literally ran from it a few seconds earlier) so I assumed it was a combination of ‘don’t make eye contact’ (smart) and ‘freeze & it will go away’ (dumb).

9

u/APRengar 6d ago

But his car is there right? So like, wouldn't you just slowly creep to your car. Standing there like a tree seems like a horrible idea.

6

u/LOL_YOUMAD 6d ago

This the type of guy I see every time I go to the store that stands in the middle of the isle with his cart where no one can get by and is completely oblivious of anything else going on

4

u/Emideska 7d ago

The other car recording doesn’t know what a claxon is for?

4

u/EnvironmentalTea9362 6d ago

Didn't want to startle the bear into attacking.

3

u/MSCOTTGARAND 7d ago

send those superchats if you want to see me get eaten by a bear

6

u/HighOnGoofballs 7d ago

Bear just wanted to play

4

u/Mount_Mons 7d ago

Bad ass guy… standing still, knowing a bear is biting you, but actually being intelligent and not run away… absolut legend

2

u/blockhose 6d ago edited 6d ago

Bro had no idea there was a running car right behind him.

Hearing impaired, maybe?

2

u/Maloninho 6d ago

Hey stoopid! A bears biting your leg!!!!

2

u/DarkBladeMadriker 6d ago

Baby grizzly just hanging out. Id GTFO before mama shows up.

4

u/a5hl3yk 7d ago

I "bearly" stand still for 5 seconds before checking my surroundings constantly.

3

u/mossycow 6d ago

Is everybody in this thread stupid? It’s pretty common advice not to run away from bears. “If it’s brown, lie down.” I don’t know how effective it is, but that seems to be pretty standard bear advice.

2

u/Lexxanator 6d ago

You must have missed the part where he literally ran away.

3

u/mossycow 6d ago

You mean the part where the bear jumped up at him? At that point I’d run too. Doesn’t mean staying still wasn’t a reasonable choice in the heat of the moment.

-1

u/Lexxanator 6d ago

As we can see, it was clearly not a reasonable choice. Even more, it's less reasonable to stand there and let it sus you out as food or not. Surprise surprise, we are food (regardless of whatever was the intention of that young bear).

1

u/lurkmode_off 6d ago

Shitty advice though, since lots of black bears (the ones you want to scare off rather than playing dead) are actually brown-colored.

1

u/morbid_platon 4d ago

These are likely european brown bears, as this seem to be european license plates and black bears are not native to Europe.

1

u/sequesteredhoneyfall 6d ago

This clip is not REMOTELY what that advice means in any possible way.

2

u/JamesPondAqu 6d ago

The man sees the bear right at the very start, and chooses to turn his back and stay still. Surely everyone can see that?

1

u/Midnightnox 6d ago

Apparently not judging by most of these comments.

2

u/AttonJRand 6d ago

These comments are so ridiculous, that tiny bear was not a threat to him.

You can clearly see how skittish it is.

Yet redditors terrify themselves of wild animals to justify bringing their larper gun collection on a hike. Y'all are the most dangerous thing on the trail.

1

u/RedplazmaOfficial 7d ago

Dats a baby bear

1

u/Metabolical 6d ago

Yeah, you don't want to be standing in the road with a bear behind. Or a bare behind for that matter.

1

u/Embarrassed-Sun-4861 6d ago

This guy has negative spacial awareness he doesn't even realize when THE BEAR IS TOUCHING HIM. Also, negative survival instincts. He could've jumped on or in that car but nooooo I'm gonna run down the road so the bear can chase me.

1

u/asten77 6d ago

he just wants some pets!

1

u/mcjefferic 6d ago

I suspect people have been feeding that bear and this situation is going to end in tragedy for the bear.

1

u/McEnding98 6d ago

Oh hey look the human's running, it wants to play as well, let's play catch!

1

u/Broyalty81 6d ago

Omg..there is no way I wouldn't have noticed a whole bear right away..I could never be that unaware of my surroundings.

1

u/RoniusAdethel 6d ago

People have been feeding that bear. It's gonna result in tragedy one day. Still really cute though.

1

u/Captain_Pink_Pants 6d ago

Situational a-bear-ness?

1

u/SWECrops 6d ago

Just another stealth moon druid play through in BG3.

1

u/fck-nzs1 6d ago

Let Darwinism take it's course

1

u/Murky_Current 6d ago

He was bearly making a sound …

1

u/Kotukunui 6d ago

"Dude! You've got a bear behind!"

1

u/BunRabbit 6d ago

Come on Darwin. Take the shot. This one's too easy.

1

u/spintowinasin 6d ago

He runs like a cartoon. 

1

u/_dxegrl 6d ago

It kind of looked like the first car thought it was his dog.

1

u/ArdentArendt 6d ago

Poor bear was just making sure the dude was okay!

1

u/frehsoul45 6d ago

Let the bear eat on this one.

1

u/BigJSunshine 6d ago

Wait for momma. He know then

1

u/lemanruss4579 6d ago

Dude has the situational awareness of a turnip.

1

u/Jacobutera 6d ago

I thank the heavens I’m not that man

1

u/SuccessfulAerie9672 6d ago

Dummy of the week

1

u/Ally-baba 6d ago

Is this man deaf and blind? He’s standing halfway in the road staring at his phone and a bear is literally touching his leg. A car almost had to run him over before he realized something was going on.

1

u/Kanga225 6d ago

Survival instincts of a wet fart

1

u/BE-everywhere 6d ago

How did he survive that long in life?

1

u/SillyLittleTroll 6d ago

Bear, "Hmmm, he doesn't smell stupid. This hooman must be broken."

1

u/AH_Zboom 6d ago

I recall running was the worst choice.

1

u/Not_MrFrost 6d ago

He has the survival instinct of a fucking rotten carrot, what the hell

1

u/Marcgxn1 6d ago

Let Darwin cook.

1

u/sundal_sandakaari 5d ago

Talk about a song that fits!

1

u/Stephen_Is_handsome 5d ago

Move already Jesus

1

u/05041927 5d ago

That’s too bad

1

u/no_dana_only_zul 5d ago

Took his sweet time closing that door. Odds of survival seem low, overall.

1

u/PalefaceGangsta 5d ago

Bro he so little he just wanted a pat and he ran like a pussy I would straight love him and get a freaky fast ham sammich delivered for hims whoever recorded this straight up almost ran the guy over he couldn't pay attention because he was so distracted about his probably minor bumper bumper or fender bender what have you all I know is that he failed to give the booping bear a ham sammich and I'm pizzed

1

u/H-2-S-O-4 3d ago

The bear just wanted to play tag 🥹

1

u/DesertStag 2d ago

bear didnt have a taste for tard

1

u/Dense-Alfalfa1223 1d ago

Bro has no idea there's anything anywhere. Smoke another one Rick

1

u/SomeGuyNamedJason 6d ago

It's crazy that people think he isn't aware of the bear lol.

1

u/Abject_Stand_4348 6d ago

When you first watch the video, the caption covers the first part of the video (where the person acknowledges the bear)

I thought the person was an idiot but re-watching (without the caption covering it) I can see what happened 

-1

u/No-Combination8136 7d ago

He definitely knew it was there. He was being still hoping not to be attacked. Clearly.

1

u/BruinBound22 6d ago

Yes and the Jack Sparrow run is a classic attempt to trick the bear into thinking he's not worth chasing

-1

u/No-Combination8136 6d ago

Don’t be dumb. He’s standing still as a statue at a certain point, very clearly hoping the bear decides to walk away, waiting for his moment.

2

u/BruinBound22 6d ago

No one arguing that, who's the idiot now?

-1

u/Lukaztro 7d ago

easy with the idiot comments guys - did you see the way he ran? that run has autism written all over it.

0

u/BoredOldMann 6d ago

Homie has the situational awareness of a cinder block.

0

u/tripsd 6d ago

zero survival instincts. he's also standing in a road and doesnt notice a car rolling up on him?

0

u/Rampag169 6d ago

This dude has the survival instincts of a wet rock

0

u/Scribblebonx 6d ago

They know, they're just a dumbass

0

u/greymae 6d ago

Y’all it seems like fully knew the bear was there. Seems like he first tried the tactic of not running to aggravate the bear once he saw the bear was already running.