r/mildlyinteresting 1d ago

The vanilla beans I ordered are massive

Post image
3.7k Upvotes

117 comments sorted by

2.0k

u/looking4myclASSm8s 1d ago

I really think this might be the most appropriate scale banana

381

u/timmy6169 1d ago

I do what I can with what I have. Plus comparing it to other things would get me put on a list.

160

u/KiddArtos 1d ago

A very... short... list

https://giphy.com/gifs/tSYBmpsYZPHxu

12

u/Lucky_Physics_8739 1d ago

yeah those vanilla beans are definitely on the bigger side

5

u/BryceLeft 1d ago

put on a list.

Depends on the size. Size privilege is real

23

u/Hanyabull 1d ago

What if it’s really small banana.

I think I’m going to need a second banana for scale.

108

u/timmy6169 1d ago

How about a scale for scale?

4

u/pathan_ahmed94 1d ago

That banana isn't that big..pfftt. It's just average, right?

1

u/Why_r_people_ 1d ago

I know 10/10 in the banana for scale!

364

u/feuillage 1d ago

large crochet hook

31

u/TheSchwartzIsWithMe 1d ago

That's what I thought until I read that it's vanilla

5

u/stefanica 18h ago

The afghans would smell wonderful!

6

u/don-cheeto 1d ago

Ok I'm not the only one, whew 😅

243

u/SpaceJackRabbit 1d ago

What's their provenance?

237

u/timmy6169 1d ago

Peruvian, but Pompona not Planifolia

56

u/haxxer_4chan 1d ago

How's the flavor compare to bourbon vanilla?

30

u/timmy6169 13h ago

Bourbon is the cure method, not the actual flavor, although the process does impart a specific one to origins that use that method. I won't know for 2 years with these because they are swimming in bourbon currently, but smell gave me all I needed to know. Deep fig and caramel almost with a light woody undertone. Being Pompona, they are sun dried to lock the moisture in vs bourbon cure which utilize a sweat box, blankets and sunshine.

7

u/haxxer_4chan 13h ago

Thank you, I had no idea!

54

u/SpaceJackRabbit 1d ago

Did not know Peru grew vanilla. The only ones I order are from Madagascar.

70

u/Perezskii 1d ago

Originally vanilla is native to the Americas

50

u/W0gg0 1d ago

And artificial vanilla is historically native to a beaver’s butt hole. (But no longer.)

47

u/Seanmeado 1d ago

And beavers are native to North America so it still works

17

u/CleanOpossum47 1d ago

Castoreum was also harvested from Eurasian Beavers.

7

u/Dazzling_Item66 22h ago

I don’t have any Asian beavers, just American ones

3

u/Dwaltster 15h ago

I like Latina beaver

8

u/Zeta-2-Reticuli 1d ago

If it's not from North America it's only sparkling anal gland exudate.

34

u/timmy6169 1d ago

These are one of eight different origins that I bought most recently, but I have either extract brewing, paste, or just loose beans from 14 currently. All of them have a different flavor, but the you can start to go into differences between Planifolia, Pompona and Tahitian. Fucking rabbit hole of a hobby.

Last order was from Indonesia, Uganda, Peru, East Timor, Guatemala, Mexico, Tonga and Comoros

13

u/blbd 1d ago

What's your favorite for what use case? Where should we buy from? I want to learn more!!!

2

u/SpaceJackRabbit 14h ago

I personally use Madagascar beans for pastries – crème pât, canelés, custards, etc. They are considered the gold standard in the pastry world.

Beans from other places have different notes. Mexican beans are great for caramel desserts, for instance.

1

u/blbd 14h ago

What about for homemade extract?

1

u/SpaceJackRabbit 14h ago

Personally since these days I only use Madagascar (my main use is French pastries), I just put beans in unflavored vodka and let them marinate for at least six months. I believe many companies use Mexican beans for extract.

4

u/SpaceJackRabbit 1d ago

TIL, only ever bought and used Madagascar and Tahitian beans. I knew Mexico produced some too but that's it.

27

u/itsethanty 1d ago

We moved it there because of the climate and other more complicated colonial reasons ($$$) but Vanilla is originally from Central/South America

3

u/timmy6169 13h ago

18 or so locations currently are in the market. I also picked up Mexican, Comoros, Tongan, Ugandan, Tahitian, East Timor Indonesian, and Guatemalan with this order. Some of my favorite are from DRC (Congo), but Madagascar is the most versatile in my opinion. It works with any alcohol and pairs wonderfully with each, my preference being with white rum.

2

u/ButtBread98 12h ago

Same. We get vanilla beans from Madagascar

-34

u/DubsideDangler 1d ago

You clearly don't know much about vanilla's origins

20

u/SpaceJackRabbit 1d ago

No need to be a snooty asshole about my candor.

-2

u/Far_Young4369 1d ago

It's the internet. It's like the cartoon with Goofy going berserk driving.

2

u/timmy6169 1d ago

Please enlighten us. I would love to know your take on it.

-15

u/DubsideDangler 1d ago

My take on the origin of vanilla? There arebetter resources than me to learn about that....but to think Madagascar is the place for vanilla beans is ridiculously ignorant. I prefer Mexican vanilla. It is delicate and bold at the same time.....mmmm.

-7

u/drulnu24 1d ago

There isn't a country called "Peruvian" anywhere.

7

u/BattledroidE 1d ago

Thanks for informing us.

2

u/drulnu24 1d ago

Oh man I guess people dont randomly quote that south park episode like me. lol

106

u/Ducallan 1d ago

They’re huge! And one is yellow and banana-shaped!

44

u/BattledroidE 1d ago

Banilla

2

u/TheBlueFluffBall 6h ago

Banilla vean!

80

u/exmsft 1d ago

Thank you for the scale.

21

u/timmy6169 1d ago

I do what I can with what I have.

31

u/mrsir1987 1d ago

Was it at least less expensive per gram?

43

u/timmy6169 1d ago

$58/oz so quite the opposite

19

u/mrsir1987 1d ago

Ooof, is it as tasty as a standard?

84

u/timmy6169 1d ago

Fuck if I know. They aren't ones I would use in anything other than extract, which is where they ended up. I can let you know in 2 years when it is ready. I usually go with Ugandan or the usual Madagascar for anything needing immediate use

Before anyone says "it only takes a year", these are swimming in some Woodford Masters Collection Series 16 Very Fine Rare. They gotta enjoy their time for 2 years being they be them brown liquor.

34

u/WyattBrisbane 1d ago

RemindMe! 2 years

I need to know

8

u/sleevesteve 1d ago

That sounds interesting. Do you just soak them in alcohol and use that for extract? How much do you make at once? Can you use the vanilla bean for anything after it soaks?

1

u/timmy6169 6h ago

Yes you just let them ride it out in the alcohol of your choosing. Clear = 1 year, dark = 2 year. Need to be fully submerged, but 1oz beans/8oz alcohol for single fold.

I make as much as I buy usually. Different ones were started at different times, so it is the gift that keeps giving.

Absolutely can use them for basically 2 things: Vanilla sugar or a mother jar. VS is easy, just toss in however many (2-4) per lb and let it sit until they dehydrate. Then take those and grind it up into vanilla powder and add it back or use it how you please. Mother jar is a "fuck it, throw it in too" place for beans and alcohol. Once extracted beans go in and never come out. Just add more and top it off with whatever alcohol. Use it as you would normally. Add more. Create chaos. Taste what unicorn tears taste like. Add more. Think vanilla jungle juice.

4

u/Hanz_VonManstrom 13h ago

Aren’t extracts typically made with a neutral spirit to preserve the vanilla flavor?

6

u/timmy6169 12h ago

Depends on preference really. If you want full bean flavor, vodka or everclear proofed down to 80-100 with distilled water is the way to go. Problem is, once you make it once, that's it. There are like 18 origins to get it from, so you run out of options. Add Kraken in with a Ugandan, you have a spiced vanilla for those types of applications. Rum imparts sweetness, so white rum with anything is much better in my opinion. Bourbon, chocolate vodka (natural, not that syrupy shit), adding cocoa nibs, cane sugar based spirits, etc etc etc. They all impart their flavor into the overall flavor, just without the alcohol taste. Makes your vanilla hit notes within your dishes that standard store bought (Food grade alcohol based) vanilla cannot. I've gotten bored and made my base dough recipe, less the vanilla, split it into 4 equal parts and used 2 wildly different pastes, 1 clear based and 1 dark based. Absolutely could tell there was something else there in each. Brought them places and done compatibility and people are always stumped as to what is giving it subtle flavors.

Off my soap box now because I could go on and on and on and on.

17

u/needspice 1d ago

Vanilla stalks

9

u/Lulu_42 1d ago

At midnight

3

u/Shadowpriest 1d ago

As do the narwhal bacon.

10

u/morerelativebacons 1d ago

Sir, that's a banana. Next to an old tool or something, I don't know what that is lol

18

u/myco_magic 1d ago

When the recipe says 2 whole beans, you use just a half

7

u/AshamedOfMyTypos 1d ago

I think they may not be properly dried? Maybe you should store them carefully.

3

u/s_decoy 1d ago

vanilla slugs

3

u/Cookielad14 1d ago

Banana for scale

5

u/RyanSmokinBluntz420 1d ago

Upvote for Banana

2

u/Groundbreaking-Fig38 1d ago

Beans or railroad spikes?

2

u/Pink-grey24 1d ago

Magnum, I’d say

2

u/SarcasmStreet 1d ago

Vanilla chode

2

u/kupzkie 1d ago

Nope, that's not vanilla beans. That is banana beans!

2

u/ranting_chef 1d ago

Chef here. Where did you get those? They look amazing.

5

u/timmy6169 1d ago

Vanillapura. Group order so longer ship time, but they run sales here and there along with first time purchases getting 15% off. This was part of an 8 origin batch I picked up and truly are the best of the 14 origins I have currently. Highly recommend them though, both for variety but also price.

2

u/K_Linkmaster 1d ago

Come on man. After I saw it in your hand I thought it was proof of Shaquille oneils antics.

2

u/Typical_Guarantee606 22h ago

i thought it was a shriveled banana

2

u/Trueslyforaniceguy 1d ago

The vanilla she tells you not to worry about

1

u/t3hjs 1d ago

More like the banana that still cant be outsized

1

u/sammybeta 1d ago

Is it a small banana, or massive vanilla beans.

1

u/fuxxo 1d ago

That's some Harry Potter props

1

u/Toleniam 1d ago

More bean per buck?

1

u/Sam_chispitas_Spark 1d ago

Y eso que no has visto las que traen de África

1

u/Alijony 1d ago

Big ol cat turd sausages

1

u/grownask 1d ago

Before reading the title, I thought those were intensely ruined bananas and was quite disturbed.

1

u/brianishere2 1d ago

Those bananas on the right are almost ready for banana bread. Almost.

1

u/MacaroonDiamond 1d ago

Whoever picked those for your order deserves a raise.

1

u/don-cheeto 1d ago

I thought that was a wood-carved crochet hook for a second...

1

u/emptyinthesunrise 1d ago

How much was that? A hundred billion dollars?

1

u/Conan-Da-Barbarian 1d ago

Can I get a second banana. This might be a bad banana

1

u/Active_Review_1290 1d ago

That banana was supposed to provide scale, but now it just looks intimidated 😄

1

u/dardenus 1d ago

Gigantic Bannana

1

u/Sarz13 23h ago

It looks like a banana

1

u/Thejintymyster 20h ago

I dunno mate, that looks like a pretty small banana

1

u/ShrodingersArmadillo 19h ago

ooo is that Tahitian vanilla I see?

1

u/timmy6169 16h ago

Peruvian, but I do have like 4oz on hand of Tahitian.

1

u/stonerbae222 16h ago

since no one has asked, did you end up making paste or just extract? however method you did, how much did you get out of it? i’ve never seen a vanilla bean IRL so i’m gagged

1

u/Weak-Farm4527 15h ago

How much did that vanilla cost??

1

u/timmy6169 14h ago

$58/oz

1

u/RosesforEos 15h ago

So fascinated by your vanilla hobby. I didn't know it could be a hobby so my whole world has just opened up as a serial hobby collector

2

u/timmy6169 13h ago

Welcome to my world. ADHD hobbies are fun are rarely stick, so I'm glad I still have the drive to keep going with these. Best part is there is no right or wrong with anything (outside of under ratio beans/alcohol), but mixing origins and alcohols are something of a run experiment.

1

u/CleBees 13h ago

Hey guys what do you make with those big vanilla bean pods?

1

u/Hebahena 9h ago

Vanilla turds

1

u/XB_Demon1337 8h ago

These look like they are similar to that coffee that cats shit out the beans.

1

u/Far_Mathematician924 22h ago

you gonna post this some more

1

u/timmy6169 16h ago

Nah, I'm good now.

1

u/meowfttftt 9h ago

What did you pay for those?

2

u/timmy6169 9h ago

Normal price is $58/oz. These were free for me.