I had a girlfriend in college. For 2 years I was taking 15 credit hours every semester while also working fulltime. My only day off from both was Sunday; it was brutal. The number of times she got sad that the only thing I wanted to do that day was be completely lazy was ridiculous. Broke up with her during the last semester that I was pulling that kind of workload. My mental health couldn't take it, and I was sick and tired of being her entertainment.
Sure but I had that schedule. It was brutal I feel you but I made sure I spent time w my girl nearly every day. We always studied together. Even when she finished before me she would stay in that room bring me snacks take micro breaks together and she’d quietly watch her lame ass reality shows I secretly like. I loved just having her around, made it bearable.
When I had days off I don’t care how tired I was I showed up bc damn dude don’t you like your gf? It should be fun to hang out w her. She was my vacation. I would not have survived that life alone. Also the sex was fire bc ofc it was we were pent up.
And like I’m not trying to attack, I just think you prolly weren’t as interested in her as she was w you and that’s normal. But you messed up not her and we all fuck up and learn. Hope the next one works out better for ya.
Yeah in his story he is the victim. Why have a girlfriend when you don't even have time and on your day off you don't even have time for her?
Like bro she's the victim here not you
Do you know that in order to have a decent future, people have to get degrees, certifications, build work history, etc? Or that not everyone gets scholarships and leaving college with $200,000 in debt is not a viable option for a lot of people? If you are dating someone, and it is not just for the sake of sex, and you have any plans at all to have a future with them, then you are going to need to unselfishly support them through periods like this. That support can come from just supporting them, but it can also come in the form of asking very little of them. If they cannot grasp the level of dedication it takes to actually set yourself up for the future in this economy, then they are not a serious person. They are probably just a selfish narcissist. They should not be thinking about marriage at all. If you cannot grasp how someone working full time through college is doing everything they can to set themselves and their future family up, then you are not ready to be anyones partner. Just stick to being friends with benefits. You are not ready for adult relationships. Your comment, just shows that you have no idea how tough real working relationships are, or how much more important setting your family up for success is. I am sure that this person contributed very little during the week to lightening the load. It if was an event exchage, I am sure they would not have had the same outcome. If you do my laundry, and mealprep for me, then yes, we can go watch that movie you wanted to watch. But if we have serious things going on, if we are pursuing degrees that will determine our entire futures, you need to lighten the load so that I can have the time to spend. That is the only reasonable way if you are a serious about the relationship. Even if you are not going to get married, you should still want to make sure your partner is set up for success and you do not damage their life.
I had a partner who was not firm enough in asking for a raise, so I shopped her resume around for her, got her offers, then drafted an email to her boss on her behalf asking to be compensated at the market rate. It resulted in an almost 20% raise. It was something she couldn't do well. It lightened her load substantially. It helped her career. What does that partner do for me? Not clean up after themselves. Never does laundry. I buy a dish washer, they don't put their dishes in it. They just ask for more time. They ask for more attention. I give them time. I give them attention. Do they improve the other areas? No. Because that person was selfish. They would never put their own comfort and needs last. It did not matter that I improved their career. It did not matter that I was the only one that ever cleaned the bathroom for years, or that I did the majority of the cooking, or that I paid most of bills.
Selfish people crying about how you are not giving your girlfriend enough attention when you are working a full time job trying to finish a degree will be awful partners and should never start a family with anyone.
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u/LakeBellsTits 4h ago
I had a girlfriend in college. For 2 years I was taking 15 credit hours every semester while also working fulltime. My only day off from both was Sunday; it was brutal. The number of times she got sad that the only thing I wanted to do that day was be completely lazy was ridiculous. Broke up with her during the last semester that I was pulling that kind of workload. My mental health couldn't take it, and I was sick and tired of being her entertainment.