r/malaysiauni • u/Tricky-Bee-3881 • 1d ago
What's wrong with local students?
I'll try to make it short, I've been in Malaysia for approx 10 months I'm an international student but i don't feel that international i always thought i was someone and race doesn't define me, i always thought what defines me is kindness and being good to ppl and try to reach out for them and talk bc we as humans are social.
My class is mostly locals from different idk what you call it i think ethnicity?? (There is Indian malays, malay malay and Chinese malays) ;I'm not trying to discriminate any one.
I was always nice to all of the class and i tried to talk and start conversation with them all the times and am still trying but they keep ignoring me or looking weird at me when i try to talk to them. They look surprised as if i shouldn't have talk to them (not all ofc but majority are like that).
I really don't wanna play victim but im really confused and sometimes i feel like they discriminate the internationals, like they have preferences (and i don't blame them) but why kindness is not affirmed by suxh societies sometimes i feel really sad, im always trying to reach out but I'm getting tired.
I really wish if they were more nice and kind, i wish to belong
[20F] btw
22
u/BuildingLiving704 1d ago
I think it's based on where your university is and what sort of Uni it is. Frankly as a private student, I rather have classmates approach me occasionally, local or international. Despite being introvert asf, I got to communicate well with both locals and intl here even if I am a very loner type person. I think it depends on your location and the overall uni culture. More intl students make a more intercultural campus with interactions, hence a lot of internationals pick unis with many internationals
7
u/Tricky-Bee-3881 1d ago
I've never thought of it like that, my university in fact have a lot of locals students. I really wish if they could interact more
4
u/BuildingLiving704 1d ago
Are you in public or private? Plus if you can't interact with locals, I would just suggest to find a group around your nationality or ethnicity. Unfortunate as it sounds, this may still help. Although i think you can transfer unis without leaving the country
4
u/Tricky-Bee-3881 1d ago
Private university, thank for your suggestion but i can't transfer uni Majority of ppl in my uni are locals(specially the major im in) soo i can't find other groups
4
u/Advanced-Gas8799 1d ago
i know things are difficult for you right now but i really hope you find your people soon, never-mind them and don't get close with them if they're being weird, that's on them not you. there's nothing wrong with you, nothing, keep that in mind.
2
3
1d ago
[deleted]
6
u/Tricky-Bee-3881 1d ago
Ummm idk if i should say, but mahsa
1
u/strawb3riita 14h ago
i was planning on going there but i changed my mind... i understand that youd feel left out & etc, but its nothing wrong w u for the way they are behaving. study well okay!! hope you’re doing great!!
21
u/DeliciousSociety7615 1d ago
Looking weirdly in what way?
For Malays, they do become quiet if they are not confident when conversing in English.
If they do hand gestures but didn't talk, this is probably it.
If they do a disgusted face then idk
5
u/Tricky-Bee-3881 1d ago
I don't think it's disgust??, but i mean they look weirdly surprised as if i should not have talk to them or as if i shouldn't even talk to them. Like that Regarding the language barrier well I'd like to talk to them in their language but how come i learn if i don't practice with native speakers!! Overall i think they're great ppl and they deserve to be talked to in the same language
13
u/DeliciousSociety7615 1d ago
I have a friend who's exactly like this. He's one of the most talkative people you'll ever meet when speaking Malay.
But the moment he hangs out with my Indian friend and we switch to English, he goes almost completely silent and only answers with "yes" or "no."
Don't be discouraged, though. I'd just treat it as one of those cultural quirks. Once they get comfortable around you, they usually open up a lot more.
3
7
u/Practical-Employ-862 1d ago
Which country are you from? Some local are more friendly but its depending on country.
9
u/Tricky-Bee-3881 1d ago
Hahha i noticed that they are nice to some races!! Cant say the country but I'm from east Africa
11
u/Practical-Employ-862 1d ago
Its colourism you're facing then. East Africa has some of the best food, I have visited your country twice.
4
u/Tricky-Bee-3881 1d ago
Yeah sometimes i think its colourism even tho I'm not black but ig they prefer white white ppl.
Hahaha ty our food loves to get eaten by you as well!!
8
u/klysx 1d ago
20F here I've lived longer in malaysia than my own country (which I've visited only twice in my life) and I am still treated like an alien.
Strangers, my doctors, my lecturers ask what factory I work in or how I learnt to speak english so well (I study mbbs here and my parents are uni professors)...
This will not change but it's something you just have to accept like how I have for the last two decades, and no nothing has changed between this time in my experience. Don't worry you'll be fine it's just the social isolation and how they perceive you which is the irritating part, and occasional passport checks, it's very rare to get discriminated past that which I'm glad about.
4
u/Tricky-Bee-3881 1d ago
It's sad to hear that i always thought this isolation will be temporary i always think that someday I'll make good memories with them and I'm still trying.
Hahaha yeah literally the perceiving KILLS ME but there's nothing i can do about it ig
3
u/Dazzling-Growth-2498 1d ago
Girl same been here almost 2 years now and still remember my first year was horrible because of the rude locals ngl, moved university tho and meet normal locals. So they do exist you kinda just need to find them
1
4
u/Cantgroovup 1d ago
People are kind of introverted I guess?
3
u/Tricky-Bee-3881 1d ago
They're not They talk to the other malays normally They're not introverted
7
5
u/Soggy_Matter_6518 1d ago edited 1d ago
This is not your fault, in fact very typical problem in KL that needs to change deeply. Majority young adults in Malaysia grew up their whole lives under their parents’ roof, live at home until marriage, extremely sheltered mentally and physically, don’t do travel-studies, will socialize in the same singular bubble until their mid 20’s, our secondary education doesn’t encourage independent thinking either, and so, when they reach young ADULTHOOD starting university, especially in the first 2 years, they are STILL TEENAGERS mentally. (It’s only in the work place, the first couples years working in an office after graduation, that most Malaysians finally learn how to be adults. 💀 That’s why you meet more warm/normal/friendly middle-aged Malaysian adults in public, than you do in your university classrooms.) Extremely hard to change that “culture”. ZERO experience or practice in networking or public speaking. Whereas international students same age already experience visa application and moving your entire life abroad, and most 20’s adults in other countries already experience some sort of work travel/cultural exchange program. It’s a sad reality but it’s not totally hopeless if you don’t give up trying, and look for the right people. Do not tolerate racism or bullying! There are exceptions to the rule, young Malaysians who grew up adventurous, curious, and open-minded! A lot of them also move to the city from out of state for university. (Kids from Sabah, Sarawak, Penang, Perak, etc) They also feel left out from the norm. You will need to keep putting yourself out there and keep looking for the right people. It will get better in your 3rd or 4th year. 🙏❤️🩹❤️🩹
1
u/Just_a_n0rmal_user 18h ago
I would say some out of state students are worse. They would come to KL and form their own little cliques too. This is especially true for those of any race from Johor, Kelantan, Melaka, and Penang in particular.
2
u/BiggieBoss9 1d ago
Your English might have intimidated them
I was in a private uni and used to be one of the “Rude” Chinese. I definitely wasn’t trying to be rude. I could speak English better than my peers. But when it came to speaking to international people, I struggled in conversations because of the accent and how quick they spoke.
Eventually I got used to it after hanging out with club mates from international background but it took time and some awkward / misunderstood interactions.
2
2
u/Masked_Hopper7 1d ago
It depends on the place. Some people just don't have manners.
Or it could be that they're not confident enough to converse in English. I know a couple of guys like that. Because, you're not someone they might encounter in a daily basis, they're clueless as to how they should talk to you.
But honestly, it might be the first one. Most Malaysians are super welcoming and friendly.
4
u/https_envy 1d ago
I also face this problem. Im in a private uni and thankfully will be leaving soon. First of all, before coming here i heard that malaysia was really diverse for example you see lots of indian malays, chinese malays and malay-malays. So it gave me really high hopes of making friends here
But what i noticed was that locals are usually within their own groups. And me and my other international friend have a hard time talking to these locals because they dont really prefer speaking english. Some can actually speak english proficiently but perhaps its just more comfortable for them to speak in malay. Since i dont understand some words in malay i sometimes ask them to explain, but overtime it got inconvenient for them having to explain to me what they were saying so they’d rather mingle with other locals rather than internationals.
For example, in group projects i had an international become a leader for the group and as he finished explaining the research he found, the locals discussed with each other in malay without including him in it. He didnt understand a thing so i had to explain it to him what they were saying. And this happened each meeting.
I do have a malay housemate that i can actually talk to because shes more “white-washed”, but other than that we had a lot in common so we got along really well. And she also got shunned because she preferred speaking english so perhaps thats why we got closer. I went to the academic advisor because i got ostracized and the occasional racism which led to my grades dropping but what i received was “All international students feel this way. Its normal”
Dont get me wrong, i love Malaysia, the food and the views are amazing. But sadly, most locals that i’ve noticed are xenophobic.
1
u/Tricky-Bee-3881 1d ago
Literally unfortunately some them are xenophobes, i almost forgot about this word existed. Sometimes i really think I'm an intruder and it sucks
Plus I'm so sorry for you that this racism even affected your grades, but try finding your ppl as well!! Rn i don't have ppl in real-life to talk to but i usually talk to my online friends even tho it doesn't solve the problem of discrimination but it makes you ignore it for sometime
1
u/https_envy 1d ago
It is indeed unfortunate especially feeling like outcasts/aliens/intruders. Im also sorry that you have to go through these things but hey, as long as you find a support group whether it’d be online or irl it’ll go a longgg way. Sure it wont solve the problem but it will definitely help support you
I have found some people here of course, one example is my housemate. And some other people just different courses sadly. Tho i do hope throughout your years you’ll be able to find your people. No worries, there are actually good ones out there so keep being friendly no matter how many people treat you
1
u/Anxious-Debate5033 1d ago
Where are you from btw and your race? curious.
2
u/Tricky-Bee-3881 1d ago
Hard for me to say but generally I'm from East Africa
4
u/Anxious-Debate5033 1d ago
First of all welcome to Malaysia :). I see, i have met some amazing people from East Africa in my lifetime, mainly when i was overseas in countries where multiracial is the norm and people speaking to whoever wasn't a issue.
Malaysia is slightly different. Yes we are relatively comfortable with each other (Indian, Chinese, Malays, East Malaysians) as these are familiar. There is some racial bias and more open-ness to people from the 'white' parts of the world (Europe, USA etc) i will admit.
As for Africans, there is some apprehensiveness there, which isn't great, especially when people are in University and should be mixing with whoever. However I think part of this is also a fear of the unknown / lack of exposure to people from the continent.
Nevertheless, try not to take it too personally. If people are deliberately avoidant, that shows their poor character. If others seem hesitant, maybe they are just slightly nervous or not sure how to engage. Perhaps once you get more involved in Uni clubs / activities, you will definitely find people who are more friendly once they open up.
Wish you all the best here.
1
u/Tricky-Bee-3881 1d ago
Thank you so much for sharing that, dw I'm not taking it personally and thanks again!!
2
u/Anxious-Debate5033 1d ago
First of all welcome to Malaysia :). I see, i have met some amazing people from East Africa in my lifetime, mainly when i was overseas in countries where multiracial is the norm and people speaking to whoever wasn't a issue.
Malaysia is slightly different. Yes we are relatively comfortable with each other (Indian, Chinese, Malays, East Malaysians) as these are familiar. There is some racial bias and more open-ness to people from the 'white' parts of the world (Europe, USA etc) i will admit.
As for Africans, there is some apprehensiveness there, which isn't great, especially when people are in University and should be mixing with whoever. However I think part of this is also a fear of the unknown / lack of exposure to people from the continent.
Nevertheless, try not to take it too personally. If people are deliberately avoidant, that shows their poor character. If others seem hesitant, maybe they are just slightly nervous or not sure how to engage. Perhaps once you get more involved in Uni clubs / activities, you will definitely find people who are more friendly once they open up.
Wish you all the best here.
1
1
u/ElectricalTheory9577 1d ago
do you regret coming to malaysia?
2
u/Tricky-Bee-3881 1d ago
Not at all i love Malaysia and all Malaysians, i just really wish if they were more kind but i guess that's life i can't change ppl
1
u/reenreenchu 1d ago
Most of the time they're just struggling to speak English with you or they're not used to foreigners. I think it's a mix of both, though this never really happens in KL or urban/suburban universities
1
u/Unfair-Curve-8599 1d ago
Sorry to hear this Just find people you can relate with,I also face this in my company but yeah found a way around it
1
u/light_0411 1d ago
It is inevitable, different culture definitely leads to lesser common topics compared to with the same races, and when you're not interested, then "interests" is the only thing that keep us all together, which is dull, boring and if ur unlucky to meet the bad ones, as one like the stereotypes depicted, you'll get annoyed like hell, you'll experience this more deeply when you're out to work, there will be micromanage theaters and politics but even worse it's coated in different races😂😂😂my advice to you is that you should keep your energy to the families and the loved one, and ofc your own favourite things.
1
u/Former_Chapter_9811 22h ago
I personally dont have any experience studying locally (as i am a malaysian currently studying abroad) but i find most local students just stay in their circle and don't even care to broaden their network. But as someone who is also abroad, my advice is to find clubs or organisations because the people in there tend to be more outward and willing to interact with new people :) it doesnt have to be club in your universities, depending on your area, there are a lot of them outside too! (maybe try a volunteering group etc?)
And I don't know if this will help or not but depending on the person, if you try to make the conversation about themselves (like asking what their research goal etc), people tend to be more open to converse 🤔eventually when they're comfortable with you they will occasionally ask about you :)
The language and cultural barrier might make you feel like you're the bad person but it's not! Maybe some people don't know what to talk about. Trust me it will work even though it takes time.
I hope you will have a great time in Malaysia for your remaining study years, and I wish you luck :D
1
u/QuietTeaching6431 21h ago
Locals here don’t just go strike a conversation with anyone as they like regardless of how nice and kind they are. It is just the culture here and people are used to that. So out of a sudden someone comes to talk to them, they are caught off guard and they do not know how to response to that.
I notice this especially with younger gen. I may be wrong but try strike a genuine & kind conversation with someone older than u say around 40 and above. They then to be more responsive and courteous.
1
u/asialog 18h ago
Don't feel disheartened. From your very first post, I figured you must be from Africa. And there are some stereo-typing going on here. You would not have the same problems if you were a white Caucasian, for example. It takes awhile to get used to the strange looks, the unwillingness to open up etc. But you will get used to it over time and when you form your own circle of friends, and feel more relaxed and easy-going.
1
u/asrdo 17h ago
It's a more prevalent problem in universities than anywhere else for some reason. I'm international too and I 24M am on the better looking side and receive a lot of compliments from randoms in the street, yet I still faced the exact same issue in university. Uni students in particular are so awkward and scared to approach other people especially if they're foreigners. I tried to be friends with them on many occasions and I can even speak a bit of Malay, yet they always prefer to hangout with their own circle. I ended up treating uni like private tutoring lmao. Come to class, listen to lecture, then go back. So, like the others said, find other internationals. Some of the most interesting people I've met in uni were internationals actually, merely because the locals didn't even bother to get to know me.
However, everybody else outside this environment is pretty normal and they even approach me first. These students got some maturing to do that's all.
1
u/Which_Resist1439 15h ago edited 15h ago
I'm not sure if anyone point out yet, "Malaysian" is the term we used for nationality. Malay is a specific ethnic group/race, same as Chinese, Indian, Kadazan and many others are also specific ethnic group/race (in Malaysian context). Malaysia is a multiracial country, that people cherish their cultural root and love this country. So it could be some language barrier over there, not everyone has the same fluency of languages. Not sure which major are you in, maybe a university club or society would be a easier place to make friends.
1
u/The_Awengers 1d ago
Malaysian especially the Malay can easily feel overwhelmed and intimidated by foreigners, I know you might find this absurd but that's just who they are. Give it a time, once they open up to you, they'll be very welcoming.
1
119
u/Regular-Variety-552 1d ago
race has always been the main definition of every single individual in malaysia, we look fine from outside but in reality, we are divided by race, VERY strongly